As we all know, the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record published my Exposé on what Her Insufferable Royal Majesty, Queen Darla has been Up To since she was Coronated. Or maybee I should say that it was Supposed to bee published; unfortunately, Krunch McKowskey pushed his way into my Editor’s Office, found my Exposé, and Redacted the hell out of it. Needless to say, our Beeloved Readers in the Hive were more than Disappointed, and a small group of Bees have been Protesting (I’m sure more would bee joining in, but most everybody in the Hive has to Work, so there’s just no Time for Protesting). The Protestors are Demanding that the unedited Exposé bee published. They’re all very Certain that the Queen is Hiding something.

I hope my Editor kept an Unedited copy. I wouldn’t want to have to do all that work all over again. I’m also hoping that the Unedited, Not-Redacted Exposé is finally released so that everybody in the Swarm can know exactly just what kind of Queen we’re Dealing with.

In the meantime, I really can’t do much about any of this, other than to try to keep Tabs on my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin. Speaking of whom…

Yesterday was Kevin’s Birthday, but due to his still beeing inside the Snark Brothers Enterprises Headquarters carrying out a Covert Intelligence Mission for The Resistance, we weren’t able to Celebrate with a Party for him, as we usually do. I think sometime today, I’m gonna try to at least sneak in a Gift Card for him. I’m sure we all Agree that his Birthday shouldn’t go UnObserved just beecause he’s on an Undercover Mission. So far, we haven’t heard much from him, so we’re all guessing that he’s either biding his Time and we’ll hear from him sometime beefore the end of the Work Week, and hoping that his Mission wasn’t Discovered which would mean that he would have been taken into Custody and sent to that Highly Unpleasant Detention Hive located somewhere off the Coast of the Gulf of Mexico. I wouldn’t like to think that he had to Celebrate his Birthday in that place, if you know what I mean.

Anyway. I need to go find a Suitable Gift Card for Kevin and do my best to Deliver it to him without raising any Suspicion. I’m thinking he’d enjoy a Gift Card from Bees ‘R Us (if you’ve never shopped there, you can find just about everything you Need whether you Need it or not.

So I’m gonna go do that.

I don’t know if you Know this, but next Monday is National HoneyBee Day — or at least that’s what we call it in the Hive; unfortunately, as of this week, and by Royal Decree from the Queen, National HoneyBee Day is now Supposed to bee called, “National HoneyBees Must Swear a Loyalty Oath to Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla Day” (I added the “Insufferable” part, beecause she is). I probably don’t have to tell you that the only ones going along with this are the Snark Brothers, Felonie Snark, and, until about three days ago, and beefore he was Arrested for Misrepresentation, my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin who, as we Know, had been Playing Along as a part of his Clandestine Undercover Mission inside the Snark Brothers Enterprises on beehalf of The Resistance.

And about that: I’m Sorry to report that I was able to successfully smuggle in that Murder Hornet Re-Stringing and CertainGrip™ Swatter Handle Repair Kit, but that somehow, somebody found out about what Kevin had been Up To. It’s almost as if somebody Overheard the Conversation he and I had at Lousy Louie’s over lunch.
So, as I mentioned, he was Arrested shortly after I managed to smuggle in that Repair Kit, which I heard was Confiscated by the Queen’s Enforcer, Krunch McKowsy.

Since then, nobody in The Resistance has Heard from Kevin. Again. We’re just hoping he wasn’t Deported to that Highly Unpleasant Detention Hive somewhere off the coast of the Gulf of Mexico where we think that almost approximately about 61.87% of the Bees in the Hive are now beeing held against their Will.

Of course, after I heard about all this, I had to Inform Potato (my Sensory-Impaired Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug), and she said, “There may bee Precious Little you can do about Kevin at the moment, but I do think that everybody who’s left in the Hive has a Right to know about what’s going on here. I think it’s time you go to your Editor with the Idea of writing a Detailed Exposé about what is actually happening under the Astoundingly Unpleasant Reign of Queen Darla.”

“My Editor? Geeeeeze…you think I should go Talk to my Editor and suggest that he should Risk getting in Trouble with the Queen by publishing the Truth about Her Insufferable Majesty, her Enforcer, and the Deals she has going beetween the Snark Brothers and that Swarm of Murder Hornets?”

“Yes,” Potato said. “I think you Owe it to The Resistance, and to the Marginally-Interested Bees who subscribe to the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News.”

“Fine,” I said. So I buzzed over to my Editor’s Office and told him about Potato’s Idea of publishing an Exposé about all this - a Mostly Tell-All about all the stuff we Know about, and the stuff we Don’t.

“You’re joking, right Bee?” Have you by any chance Forgotten what happened to me the last time you decided to make me bee Honest with our Beeloved Readers? Do you?”

“Well, yes, but…” I started to say beefore he Interrupted me.

“You want me to risk beeing sent back to that Highly Unpleasant Detention Hive located somewhere off the Coast of the Gulf of Mexico by making Her Majesty, Queen Darla, mad as a Murder Hornet?” He didn’t seem enthusiastic about the whole Idea.

“Yeah, that’s right,” I told him.

He pointed his Wing at my Face and said, “Listen up, bee. The last thing I need is to have this Publication directly associated with Criticism of the Queen. And the last thing I need is to bee Targeted and Persecuted for beeing Honest.”

“Oh, I understand,” I said, understandingly.
“But don’t you beelieve that the Readers deserve to find out what’s really Going On around here, in case they haven’t been Paying Attention, which it seems a whole bunch of Bees in the Swarm aren’t doing?” I asked him.

“Is that a Rhetorical Question, Bee?” he asked me.

“I don’t know what that Means,” I told him, “but if it Means what I think it Does, then for sure it is, probably.”

My Editor just kind of Glared at me for what seemed a Bigly Long Time, then he finally said, “Fine. Do your Exposé, but after you’re finished with Writing it, I will Insist that I will Edit it beefore it is Published. After all,” he said, “I am the Editor.”

“Yes, you are,” I told him, “and you’re a Fine and Brave Editor, an Editor that isn’t Afraid to Expose the Truth, an Editor who is Looked Up To by everyone in the Hive for your Marginal Journalistic Integrity, an Editor who…”.

“Just stop, Bee. You’ve said quite Enough.” Then my Editor said, “The next and Only thing I want out of you now is that Exposé - and I want it on my Desk no later than sometime in the next several Days - or Else.”

“Fine,” I said.

“Now get out of my Office,” He said. So I did that.

So now I hafta go work on that Exposé, or Else.

So I’m mostly happy to Report that I managed to catch up on my Streaming and have a minute or two to share what I found out about what my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin (who, as we all know, has Infiltrated Snark Brothers Enterprises who, as we also know, are Accomplices to Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla and her Highly Unpleasant Regime who, as we also know, has been cutting Deals with a Swarm of Murder Hornets) has been Up To since he Infiltrated Snark Brothers Enterprises.

For those of you still not Familiar with the Snark Brothers Enterprises (which is run by Narville Snark, his Brother Chaz Snark, and Kevin’s Estranged Step-Sister, Felonie Snark, who also happens to bee their 87th Great Niece, Twice Removed), you should probably know that you shouldn’t bee asking too many Questions. The Snarks don’t like too many Questions. They also don’t like to hear anybody saying anything Bad about them, or Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla. So if you just happen to decide to enjoy a Leisurely Lunch at Lousy Louie’s (which, as we all know, is now owned by Felonie Snark), and want to sit there with your Friends and Complain Bitterly about Her Insufferable Royal Highness, Queen Darla, just don’t. And why? I’ll tell you:

It was recently Discovered tha Felonie has Bugged all the Tables and Booths, and reports what she Overhears to the Queen. That can bee Trouble and, as we all Agee, probably, Nobody wants any Trouble. So if you feel like you need to Gripe about what’s going on here, don’t do it at Lousy Louie’s. The Queen Highly Disapproves of Criticism.

Nevertheless and aside from that, just One of the things the Queen should bee Criticised for is the fact that she has not only decided to Re-name a bunch of stuff (such as, if you Remember, her Claim that she re-named Great Grandma Gee Gee's Highly Delicious and Marginally Nutritious Royal HoneyChew Krisp™ Cookies to something like “Queen Darla’s Fun Biscuits” or something like that), she also tried to re-name Honey “Darla’s Golden Sauce”. And of course there’s that Persistent Rumour that she’s using the Snarks to cut deals with that Swarm of Murder Hornets I mentioned earlier.

You know, under Normal Circumstances, the Snarks would bee Arrested (like they were in 2014 for their Role in a Scandal involving that Suspicious Parcheesi Mishap in which several bees lost one of their Wings), but they’re still buzzing around Free beecause they’re doing the Queen’s Dirty Work, and as long as they Cooperate, she won’t have them thrown in Jail - or worse. So they keep Cooperating. There’s plenty to Gripe about with that, if you know what I mean, but The Resistance is Fighting Back - or should I say that Kevin is Fighting Back for the Resistance.

So what I just found out was that Kevin, as I’ve mentioned beefore if you remember to Recall, not only managed to get in Good Graces with the Snarks (though I have to say that I’m still amazed they didn’t recognise their own Possible 87th Great Nephew, Twice Removed, but as I mentioned sometime beefore awhile ago, he left his Hat back home in his Boot Box, and as we all know, Bees all pretty much look alike if they’re not wearing Hats), but he’s been able to Disrupt Trade Negotiations that the Snarks had set up between Queen Darla and Representatives from that Swarm of Murder Hornets. Everybody’s very Impressed that he’s been so Effective.

And how do I know about all this? It was beecause I was able to visit Personally with Kevin when he and I met at Lousy Louies over his Lunch Break. Fortunately, it was a Long Lunch, so he had plenty of time to tell me about his Clandestine Activities.

I asked Kevin what, exactly, he was Doing, but all he would say is, “Uncle Georgie, I will only tell you that the Murder Hornet Swatter you Smuggled in to me has been Highly Useful, but I would rather not share the Grisly Details with you. Just know that so far, nobody knows that it’s me who is Disrupting the Trade Negotiations, so as long as nobody Knows or Suspects what I am doing, I will bee okay - so do not tell anybody what I just shared with you. ”

“Fine,” I told him. “I won’t,” I told him.
So now you know.

Then Kevin told me he had to Re-String his Murder Hornet Swatter. He told me that I have to Smuggle in a Murder Hornet Re-Stringing and CertainGrip™ Swatter Handle Repair Kit to him sometime beefore Thursday, when there’s supposed to bee another Trade Summit beetween the Queen and the Representatives from the Murder Hornet’s Swarm.

Of course, I asked Kevin why he couldn’t just pick the Kit up himself on his way back from Lunch, but he just said, “Uncle Georgie, I love you, and you’re the Best Uncle in the World, but you just do not walk around the Hive carrying a Murder Hornet Re-Stringing and CertainGrip™ Swatter Handle Repair Kit, not if you want to avoid beeing sent off to that Highly Unpleasant Detention Hive that’s located somewhere off the Coast of the Gulf of Mexico. So please, bee discreet, and get that Kit to me as soon as you can.”

“Fine,” I told him.

So I’m gonna go do that.

I’m not gonna tell you what I’ve just been through, but I hafta say that, as Difficult and Exhausting as it was, I’m exceedingly happy to Report that after a great deal of Trial and Tribulation and Sneaking Around, I was able to successfully Smuggle that Murder Hornet Swatter to my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, who as we all Know has Infiltrated the Snark Brothers Enterprises. I had no Idea whatsoever what the hell it is that Kevin plans to do with the Swatter, so after I managed to Discreetly Sneak past the Guards with that thing and get it into his Wings, I asked him, “Kevin, what the hell is it that you’re planning to do with this thing?”

“Uncle Georgie, you are the best Uncle in the world and I love you, but I know you, and I am completely certain that if I told you, you would Expose my Plan, and the Element of Surprise would bee lost. I cannot have that. So I am not going to tell you,” he told me. “And I think it is best if you leave. Now. I will Contact you after I have Implemented my Brilliant Plan, but for now, you need to go Home and pretend you never saw me. ”

“Fine,” I said.

Beelieve it or not, it took four afternoons and a half- to three-quarters of this Morning for me to quietly make my way past the Snark Brothers’ State-of-the-Art Security System without beeing Recognised, Inconveniently Apprehended, Detained, and beeing asked a whole bunch of Unnecessarily Prying Questions. Fortunately, after a great deal of Effort, I finally Escaped, Undetected. Probably.

I was Highly Relieved when I made my Way back home to my ShoeBox and was finally able to go to the Bathroom (I was Holding it the whole time I was Sneaking Around the Snark Brothers’ place, so I was glad I made it Home beefore I couldn’t Hold It anymore - I know nobody wants any Accidents…I most certainly don’t). Since then, all I’ve wanted to do is to just lie here, rest, and try to stay awake long enough to watch my Stories (I think there’s a “As the Hive Turns” Marathon on the Bee Channel).

So that’s what I’m gonna do.

So, as you can Imagine, I’ve been spending a Highly Large Amount of Time doing my best to find my still-Missing Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin. Fortunately, as I was enjoying a Relaxing Lunch at Lousy Louie’s I received an Urgent™ Buzz•O•Gram™ from him (I was Highly Glad that I wasn’t in the Bathroom when the Messenger arrived with it, ya’ know?).

I have to say that the Buzz•O•Gram™ was Highly Vague and didn’t offer much Insight into where the hell Kevin is, but at least we know he’s still Alive. Of course, as soon as I finished my Lunch and ordered some Dessert (I’m on a Diet you know, so I just had the Half-Order of Honey Glazed Pollen Puffs), I knew that I should probably Inform The Resistance as soon as possible. After I decided to just go ahead and order the Other Half of the Half Order of Honey-Glazed Pollen Puffs (why waste good Pollen Puffs?), I immediately buzzed over to the Entrance of the Secret Underground Headquarters to share the Urgent Message I’d received from our Resistance Infiltrator, Kevin.

When I got there, I had another Run-In with that Argumentative Security Guard.

“You’re Irresistible,” he said to me.

“Thank you,” I said, “but I have a Highly Urgent Message to…”

“You’re Irresistible,” he interrupted me.

“Yeah, you’ve said that, but look…” I started to say, then I remembered he was asking me for the Password, but I knew that he knew that I knew the Password and that I’d already given it to him the last time I was there, so I said,. “Can’t we just Dispense with the Formalities here? I’m in an Incredible Hurry beecause I have some Very Important Information to share with The Resistance, so…”

“No,” he said. “I have no idea who you are or who you might Bee. You have to realise that Bees pretty much look alike, so it’s almost impossible to tell one Drone or Worker from another Drone or Worker, and you’re certainly not the Queen who we wouldn’t let in anyway - so NO.”

Then the Security Guard and I got into a big, long argument about the fact that I firmly Beelieve that all Bees DO NOT all look alike, but he said, “Without hats, all Bees look alike. And you’re not wearing a hat, so last chance: You’re Irresistible.”

“Fine,” I said. “That’s what she said,” I said.

“You may Enter,” the Security Guard told me.

Beefore I went in, I told him, “Hey next time, why don’t you just Remember me. I know that you know that I know the Password, so just let me in next time without asking all the unnecessary Flattery.

“That won’t bee happening,” he said, “especially if you’re not wearing a hat,” he added.

“Fine,” I said, and went ahead and Entered.

When I got inside the Underground Headquarters, I shared the Urgent Buzz•O•Gram™ with the Resistance Chair Pro-Tem (don’t tell anybody, but it’s Ultra Violet - she’s been keeping the Resistance Swarm Soothed with her beeloved Ukulele playing), and I told them that we needed to figure out how to Smuggle a Murder Hornet Swatter to Kevin who, as I told you beefore but just in case you forgot, has Infiltrated Snark Brothers Enterprises. So after some Buzzing back and forth, it was Decided that beecause I used to Sell Murder Hornet Swatters, it would bee easier for me to Smuggle one of those things in to Kevin.

“Fine,” I said.

So I hafta’ go do that.

I'm mostly sorry to say that I can't Stick Around very long today. I have to make my way to the Secret Underground Headquarters (it's actually underground, which I hafta' say I don't like all that much -- it's dark and it has a chill that pretty much stays with you the whole time you're there) to join a Search Party pretty soon, so I don't have much time to visit, but I will take a Minute to Explain, briefly, what's going on. 

As you probably have almost forgotten (like I almost did), I decided to join my Now-Missing Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, for lunch. And as you also might have not remembered to recall, Kevin had kindly Volunteered to Infiltrate the Snark Brothers Enterprises in order to help The Resistance to get their Wings on a copy of the List of Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla's Accomplices. But I know that you haven't Forgotten that Kevin was planning to Accomplish this Mission by Cozying Up to his Estranged Step-Sister, Felonie Snark, who (the last any of us had heard) was in charge of Old Product ReDevelopment for her Uncles, Chaz and Narville Snark, and who (as everybody knows) has been involved in those Secret Negotiations the Snark Brothers have been Engaged In regarding a Trade Deal they're trying to make with a Colony of Murder Hornets. So when Kevin and I met at Lousy Louie's to talk about how, exactly, he was going to Accomplish his Mission, I decided to order the Honey Roasted Pollen Puffs and a Honeysuckle Nectar Fizz (hey, it's 5:00 somewhere in the world). Kevin just had the Dandelion Sandwich and water.

As we were sitting in a Booth, Kevin shared the Intricate Details of his Plan to get his Wings on the List. I hafta' say that I was glad we had a Booth - they're much more Private, so I was absolutely Positive that for the most part nothing Kevin and I were buzzing about was Overheard. Anyway, by the time we'd finished Lunch and had our Dessert (we both had the Refined Sugar Water), I was Fully Informed of Kevin's Brilliant Plan.  Little did I know that, after he got up to go to the Bathroom, that would bee the last time I or  anybody would see - or hear from -  Kevin, at least since last Tuesday, I think it was. He was Supposed to bee Checking In with The Resistance every day, but he's still Nowhere to bee Found at all. He's Mysteriously Vanished.
 
We're all very Concerned.

So to make what should bee a Highly Short Story just a little bit Longer, in less than exactly about 87 minutes from now, all of us in The Resistance will bee Meeting at Headquarters to form that Search Party I mentioned earlier (you remember that, right?), and beefore we do anything else at all, we're going to make it our Number One Priority try to find out what the hell happened to Kevin. That gives me just enough time to grab a quick Lunch.

So I'm gonna go do that.

So as you’ll Recall, a bunch of us in the Hive who Object to Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla’s, Reign have Joined Together to form a Resistance Swarm. We’re calling it “The Resistance Swarm”, but I like to just call it “The Resistance”. Everybody that’s part of The Resistance has to wear a set of Fake Antennae and, beefore anybody can join a Meeting of The Resistance, they have to reply to the Secret Phrase with the Secret Password, or they’re not allowed to bee a part of The Resistance.

Of course, as you probably have already Guessed, I’ve been Sworn to Secrecy about what the Secret Phrase is, but I’m sure it won’t bee a problem if I share what it is with you (I’m guessing you also probably don’t have a set of Fake Antennae, do you? I didn’t think so.) So the Secret Phrase to Identify somebody as a Trusted Member of The Resistance is … “You’re Irresistible.” Right away, when somebody comes up to you and says, “You’re Irresistible,” you’re supposed to give the Secret Password, which is (and don’t tell anybody) - “That’s what she said.”

Unfortunately, when the first Meeting of The Resistance was secretly Announced over the Hive’s Public Address System, and when I showed up to bee a part of it, I complete forgot to remember the Password, When the Bee guarding the Entry to the Meeting said, “You’re Irresistible”, I said, “Thank you. I’ve been told that beefore, but it’s always nice to hear. I appreciate it.”

As you probably already guessed, since I failed to give the Correct Secret Password, they wouldn’t let me in, so I decided to leave and try again Later.

So while I was waiting for Later to arrive, I found myself a nice Table for One on Lousy Louie’s Patio and figured that if I just relaxed with a delicious and refreshing Nectar Fizz, I would eventually remember the Secret Password.

I sat and sipped and sipped and sat, but I just couldn’t remember the Secret Password. I would have gone back to my ShoeBox and asked Potato (my Sensory-Impaired Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug), but two days earlier, she left to visit some Family she has in Wichita, Kansas, so she wasn’t around. I also had tried to ask Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) what the Secret Password is, but he just said, “Uncle Georgie, you’re the Best Uncle in the world, and I love you, but I’m afraid I cannot share that information with you. It would no longer bee a Secret Password if I told you what it was, now would it?” so I said “Fine.” But it wasn’t fine, beecause I still couldn’t remember what the SecretPassword is.

So I just continued to sit and sip my Fizz.

I had probably been sitting and sipping on a second Nectar Fizz for about 87 minutes or so when (and don’t tell ButterCup this) a fairly Attractive Worker Bee came up to me and said, “I’ve been watching you from afar, and I have to say that I think you’re Irresistible.”

“Thank you,” I said, “I appreciate the Compliment, but I have a Girlfriend,”. “Fine,” she said, and she left. Then I finished my Fizz and left, also. I decided to go back to where the Meeting of The Resistance was still going on. I was sure that I would remember the Secret Password on my way back there.

When I got there, the Bee at the Entry said, “It’s you again? What do you want?”

“I want to join the Meeting of The Resistance,” I said.

“Fine,” he said, “but if you don’t remember the Secret Password this time, I’m afraid you will bee Denied Entry.

“Fine,” I said. Then he said, “You’re Irresistible,” then I remembered that Encounter I had with that Worker at Lousy Louie’s, and I said, “That’s what she said.”

“Welcome,” he said, “you may enter.”

So I did that.

I hafta say that there were a lot of Angry Bees at that Meeting, and I’d tell you about what was beeing Said, but I think I’d for sure bee violating the Rules of Secrecy for The Resistance by sharing that information with you, probably.
So I’ll just tell you this:

During the Meeting, a Secret Plan to Deal with Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla, was discussed. After a great deal of Buzzing back and forth, it was decided that we needed somebody to Infiltrate an Organisation that has Close Ties to the Queen - the Snark Brothers, and that we’d plant a Secret Informant into their Operations. And don’t tell anybody about this at all, but beecause he has mostly Close Ties with his Estranged Step-Sister, Felonie Snark, it was decided that Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) will bee the Secret Informant who is assigned to Infiltrate the Snark’s Organisation, and to Obtain the List of the Queen’s Accomplices (which, by the way, the Queen’s Press Secretary says “doesn’t exist”, as if). Then, The Resistance can know precisely who we’re Dealing With, mostly.

“I am proud and pleased,” Kevin said, “to serve our Noble Cause and to Contribute to the Efforts of The Resistance.”

After that, the Meeting was Adjourned. That was almost a week ago. I know that Kevin is enjoying his Lunch right about now, so I wanna find out if he’s found the List.

So I’m gonna go do that.

I hafta’ say that ever since my Editor Informed me that I can no longer provide him with my Invaluable Services as an Investigative Reporter who has a mostly somewhat Respected Reputation of exposing Corruption at the Highest Levels in the Hive (which includes Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla), I’ve been really bored.

Trust me when I say that you can only hang out at Lousy Louie’s sipping on Beenya Coladas and snacking on Honey-Roasted Pollen Puffs by yourself for so long, then you have to find something else to Occupy your Time. So, the other day, I decided to Invite some of my Friends to Join me at Lousy Louie’s to sip on Beenya Coladas and snack on Honey-Roasted Pollen Puffs.

The first to Show Up were my Girlfriend, ButterCup, and our Mutual Friend, Fleur de Bee, who was still here visiting from Paris. Of course, neither of them ordered Beenya Coladas. Fleur ordered a Fermented French Lilac Spritzer, and ButterCup just had a Capful of Water (I asked if she wanted something more than that, but she said, “No, I’m on a Diet.”) Fine.

Anyway, we were finally Joined by Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew), his Sensory-Impaired Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug, Potato, BigFoot, Rudy Bee, Sunshine, Tweak (ButterCup’s Sister), my Editor (who I asked if he was still going to pick up the Tab for all the Beverages and he said, “In your Dreams, Bee”), and (beelieve it or not), my Lawyer, S.O.Bee who had just been Released from that Highly Unpleasant Detention Hive located somewhere off the Coast of the Gulf of Mexico, show up. He was Mad as hell.

As we all Swarmed there, enjoying our Refreshing and Primarily Delicious Beverages, everybody started buzzing about the Deplorable Conditions in the Hive under the Reign of Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla.

“She not only closed the Cafeteria,” BigFoot said, “but she’s threatening to close all the Libraries. That’s just Unacceptable.” (In case you probably don’t remember, BigFoot is a Huge Fan of Books.)

“That’th right!” Rudy sounded Equally Upset. “Altho, the Queen jutht itthued a Decree that SHE will bee in charge of all futhure Thelebrationth and Fethtivitieth and has Fired all of my Creative Thtaff. I’m very Upthet about it.”

“Well I’m sorry to say that my Editor has told me that I can no longer help build Awareness of the Problems with what should have been my Beelitzer-award winning Reports.”

“Correct,” my Editor said. “You’re on a Leave of Absence.”

“But,” I continued, “beelieve me when I say that I think the Swarm still needs to bee Informed so that we can actually Do Something about all this. But I’m not entirely Sure what that might Bee, so let’s talk about something else,” I said beecause I wanted to stop Thinking about the Queen and start talking about Me instead, so I went on, “As for me and what I’ll bee doing over the Hot Season, I’m still considering my Options. Maybee I’ll start doing Movie Reviews again, just to help keep everybody’s Mind off everything.”

“No,” my Editor told me. “that won’t bee Happening. The last thing we need is to bee Sued again for Slanderous Libel beecause of one of your Insulting Movie Reviews.”

“What about my Advice…” I started to Suggest.

“…and that goes for your Advice Column, too. You won’t bee offering anybody any Advice about anything as long as I’m Editor of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News.”

“Fine,” I said, and it is Fine beecause I’m not really in the Mood to give Advice to anybody about anything right now.

Nobody said anything for awhile so I started thinking about what else I could do.

“I could consider selling those Paper Spoons again. That would keep me buzzy,” I thought out loud. (I know that those things were taken off the Market beecause they’re not only Impractical, but they’re Highly Toxic, but since Queen Darla has done away with any of those kinds of Bans on Toxic Materials, I figured the Market might open up again on those things.)

“NO!” everybody said at once, then S.O.Bee said, “Just beecause the Queen says it’s okay to use Toxic Dinnerware doesn’t mean that we have to bee Stupid enough to do it.

“OUI!” Fleur Agreed with him. “You and ze Swarm moost - how do you zay - Organize. You moost REZIZT zis Madness until zee Queen izz No More, Mon Ami.” Then she Informed us that she didn’t want to have anything more to do with any of this and that she was Leaving. She stood up, left some Honey to cover her Beverages, wished us Luck, and left. (In case you’re Curious, Fleur went back home to Paris and resumed her Normal Life in her new job as Supervisor of a Special Bomb Detection Unit working under French Counter-Espionage. “It ezz safer zan continuing to bee here,” she said.)

“That,” my Illegitimate Nephew buzzed in, “is the most Reasonable and Practical Suggestion I’ve heard all day” as he Ordered another Virgin Nectar Fizz. “Uncle Georgie,” he continued, “you’re the best Uncle in the world, and I love you, but I think you should keep a Low Profile in the Days and Weeks Ahead. That is absolutely and without any question whatsoever probably Essential if The Resistance is to Succeed, which we must.”

“I agree!” Sunshine agreed. “But we must bee able to know Who we can Trust and Who we Can’t.”

“And how do you Propose we do that?” My Editor asked. He was Skeptical, but I think we all know that he always is.

“Fake Antennae,” Tweak suggested. “Everybody that’s part of The Resistance has to wear a set of Fake Antenna. We’ll know right away if someone is With us or not.”

“That jutht might work!” Rudy exclaimed.

“And I will bee here,” Potato said, “to provide Complimentary Emotional Support Services for a small fee to anyone who beegins to feel Apprehensive about this Undertaking.” That’s really nice of her, isn’t it? I think so.

After some more discussion and several more Beverages, it was Agreed that we would form The Resistance to fight back against Her Insufferable Royal Majesty, Queen Darla.
So apparently, that’s what I’ll bee doing over the Hot Season. I’ll bee Resisting, whatever the hell that means.

After that, I went home, found my set of Fake Antennae, I made sure they still Fit (they do) and now, I am ready to start Resisting, mostly.

So I’m gonna go do that.

“So here’s what I want you to do, Bee,” my Editor said. “I want you to go right back to your Relaxation and Pondering - for now. Just make your way over to Lousy Louies, Order yourself a nice Beenya Colada - on me - and just Relax - Or Else.”

“You’re joking, right?” I thought my Editor was Joking. (He’s never offered to buy me a Beverage beefore.)

“No. I am completely serious.”

“Well okay, but I think that I…”

“And I’ll call you When and If I need you,” he interrupted what I was about to Say. “Now get the hell out of my Office,” he suggested that I should leave.

So I did that.

Oh, wait. I should probably catch you up on the Whole Conversation, shouldn’t I? You must bee feeling as Confused as I do, aren’t you? I thought so.

Okay, let me Back Up here. I’m sure you Remember that after both my Editor and I were Arrested and after I was put on Trial, and after I was Acquitted on the 87 Counts of "Literary Conspiracy and Unauthorised Publication of Non-Publishable Classified Hive Intelligence and Third-Degree Exposure of Probably Illegal Royal Deportation Programmes" for writing that Investigative Report about Her Insufferable Royal Highness, Queen Darla, and after the Jury ordered both my Editor and me to bee Released from Custody, my Editor had sent me an Urgent Buzz•O•Gram™ insisting that he needed to See me in his Office. So of course I went there.

When I got there, my Editor actually started buzzing at me, something about how I had managed to get him into a whole bunch of Trouble with the Queen beecause of my Investigative Report I did about what’s been Going On around here, and that it was beecause he’s my Boss (or at least that’s what he thinks) and the Editor of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News (which he is), he was held Responsible for those Articles, and if it hadn’t been for my beeing Acquitted, he’d probably already bee in that Highly Unpleasant Detention Hive that’s located somewhere off the Coast of the Gulf of Mexico.

“So,I’m sure you can Imagine how Happy I was about beeing placed into Custody and Threatened with Deportation beecause of YOU,” he said.

I suspected he was beeing Sarcastic, but I can’t bee sure.

“I certainly can,” I told him, “and you’re Welcome.”

“No, you just don’t Get It, do you Bee?”

“Get what?” I asked him.

“That your Days of causing me Trouble have to come to a Screeching Halt. Your days of Digging Into things that are definitely your Buzziness but probably Shouldn’t Bee - and your Excellent Reporting on things that get me into a whole bunch of Trouble stops. Now.”

“So does this mean I don’t win the Beetlizer?” I asked, beecause I’d heard that the Beelitzer Nominating and Selection Committee was meeting last week and I was sure my name would bee on the Top of the List for this year’s Recipients.

“No, you don’t,” my Editor informed me, which was Highly Disappointing to hear.

Then he said, “So here’s what I want you to do, Bee. I want you to go right back to your Relaxation and Pondering - for now. Just make your way over to Lousy Louies, Order yourself a nice Beenya Colada - on me - and just Relax - Or Else.”

“You’re joking, right?” As you probably Remember I asked, beecause I thought my Editor was Joking. He wasn’t. Then he told me to get the hell out of his Office, so as I mentioned beefore, I did that.

Oh, and I should probably Mention that my Editor informed me that his New Policy was that the entire Staff of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News must completely Ignore everything that’s happening under Her Insufferable Majesty Queen Darla’s Regime.
“We already know that the Queen only wants the kind of Attention she wants, that she wants it All the Times - and we’re just not going to give it to her. And we also Know that, sooner or later, this Insufferable Queen most certainly will bee Bee-Balled.”

And we all know what that means, don’t we?

And now you’re all caught up, mostly, to what’s Going On. My days as an Investigative Journalist are Officially Over and for now, I am following my Editor’s Suggestion and am going to enjoy this Refreshingly Satisfying Beenya Colada - on him - and Relax. It will bee Nice to start Enjoying Life again like I used to bee able to. Mostly.

So I’m gonna do that.

You’re probably not going to Beelieve this, but when the Jury came back with a Verdict in my Case, the Jury not only Acquitted me (that means they found me Not Guilty, beecause I wasn’t, mostly), but they ordered the Queen (Her Insufferable Royal Majesty, Queen Darla who, by the way, was trying to tell the Hive that she is Judge, Jury, and Executioner when she isn’t — she’s just the Judge, and the Executioner is actually on Vacation at the moment, I think somewhere in Denver … there’s an Amusement Park there that have some Highly Appealing Trash Cans) to not only Immediately Release my Editor and my Lawyer, S.O.Bee, and all the other Bees who she was going to Deport to that Exceedingly Unpleasant Detention Hive somewhere off the coast of the Gulf of Mexico, but to also take the Queen’s Enforcer, Krunch McKowskey, into Custody and charge him with Terminal Rudeness which, as we all know, is a Death Penalty Offence if you’re Convicted.

As I’m absolutely sure you Imagine, Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla, wasn’t a bit Happy about all this. She’s still Queen - for now - but lucky for us, the Jury that was made up of our Swarm’s Peers exerted their Authority,
and Reminded Her Agitatingly Annoying Highness that when it Boils Right Down To It, the Swarm is in charge of the Hive, not just the Queen.

There was some buzzing going on about maybee Deposing (that means telling the Queen “you’re Fired”) her and Sentencing her to bee Bee-Balled (that’s when a bunch of bees Surround the Victim, which in this case would bee the Queen, and Smother them until they’re no longer With Us. As much as the Jury - and, as it turns out, most of the Swarm felt Queen Darla deserved a good Smothering, but as I mentioned Earlier, it was Decided that she would Escape that Fate and Darla will remain Queen -for now (it’s not an easy Position to fill - but let’s not get into That).

From what I’ve been Told, the Queen has not completely Cooperated with the Jury’s Decision, and she’s still Insufferable, but I’m pretty sure the Swarm will keep her in Line, one way or another. In the meantime, Krunch McKowskey is scheduled to bee put on Trial for Terminal Rudeness sometime in the next few weeks, so that will bee a good thing.

So after all that, I have to say that it was Highly Nice to bee Released from that Stuff Diamond Safety Match Box and to fly back home to my ShoeBox. When I got back home, of course the first thing I had to do was use the Bathroom. When I came out, ButterCup (my Girlfriend), Potato (my Certified Sensory-Impaired Emotional Support/Service LadyBug), Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew), Great Grandma Gee Gee (who makes the Highly Delicious and Mostly Nutritious Royal HoneyChew Krisp™ Cookies which I hoped she brought a bunch with her), Felonie Snark (Kevin’s Estranged Step-Sister), Ultra Violet (she brought her Ukulele), Fleur de Bee (French Counter-Espionage Agent who flew in from Paris to Testify at my Trial if it was Necessary, which it wasn’t, so she stuck around for the Party I’m about to mention), BigFoot (who brought me a Book for my Birthday), and a whole bunch of other bees who, along with Rudy Bee and the others Buzzed “SURPRISE!”, then started Buzzing Happy Birthday to me, which I Highly Appreciated. It’s not Every Day that a Bee like me turns 49, ya’ know.

Then we had a Party, which I beelieve I mentioned beefore. ButterCup made me a Spectacular Honey Cake with Blue Nectar Frosting, BigFoot gave me a copy of “The Encyclopaedia of Unknown Facts, 8th Edition”, and Great Grandma Gee Gee gave me a huge Platter full of her HoneyChew Krisp™ Cookies. Felonie Snark just gave me a dirty look.

So since I was Acquitted and Surprise Birthday-Partied, I’ve just been Relaxing and Pondering what to do next. Fortunately, I haven’t had to Ponder very long since, just a few Minutes ago, I was Interrupted with a Buzz-O-Gram™ from my Editor, inviting me to bee in his Office First Thing Tomorrow Morning - Or Else.

So I’m gonna find my Notepad and do that.

Well, as you can see from this Court Photograph, my Trial for the 87 Counts of Literary Conspiracy and Unauthorised Publication of Non-Publishable Classified Hive Intelligence and Third-Degree Exposure of Probably Illegal Royal Deportation Programmes has taken place, and I’m just taking a Bathroom Break while we wait for the Jury to announce they have reached a Verdict. I hope they find me Not Guilty, beecause tomorrow is my Birthday (I’m going to bee 49 years old, if you can beelieve that, and I’m absolutely Sure that my Girlfriend, ButterCup, has something extra-special planned for my Big Day, probably).

In the meantime, here’s a brief Summary of what happened during the Trial:

First, Her Insufferable Royal Highness, who, she informed us, serves as Judge, Jury, and Executioner (I don’t like the sound of that last one) called Krunch McKowskey to the Witness Stand. I hafta’ say that he wasn’t beeing very nice about anything, and at least half the stuff he was Saying about me wasn’t true. He made me sound like a criminal or something. I’m not. I’m a Law-Abiding Bee. Mostly.
Anyway. After he Concluded his Testimony, my Lawyer (S.O.Bee) called my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, to the Witness Stand. Kevin did a Phenomenal Job of letting the Jury know that I was Mostly Innocent of all the charges, and told them that I am a Sweet, Honest, Kind, Mostly Dependable, and Dedicated Bee who deserves to bee Acquitted of all the charges. Hopefully, the Jury agrees.

The trial seemed to take forever, but finally, S.O.Bee delivered his Closing Arguments in my Defence. He went on and on and on and on about how he thought I was beeing Railroaded, and made the Suggestion that Her Insufferable Royal Majesty, along with her Enforcer, Krunch McKowskey, were abusing the Power of their Offices and that they were creating an Atmosphere of Fear in the Hive. I know a few of the Bees in the Jury were Nodding Off, but they were Awakened by the sound of my Lawyer beeing placed into Custody and beeing Charged with Contempt of the Royal Court - a charge that carries a Maximum Penalty of either Six Weeks in a Detention Hive somewhere off the Coast of the Gulf of Mexico, a fine of 87 Pounds of Honey - or both. He was sentenced to both, so I’m Highly Disappointed that he won’t bee at my Birthday Surprise Party tomorrow, apparently.

Of course, as you’d Expect, the News about what was happening in my Trial and to my Lawyer spread through the Swarm, and a bunch of Workers and Drones led by my Editor (beelieve it or not) showed up outside the Royal Court to protest the Proceedings. Unfortunately for them, Her Insufferable Royal Majesty heard the Protests and Informed them that if they Continued, they’d make her Mad and they’d bee met with Heavy Force…which they were (ever since Queen Darla has taken over the Hive, it appears all the Rules have changed. The Swarm no longer receives Free Medical Care and all Pollinating Classes for the Youngest Bees have been Cancelled, which none of us thinks is Fair or Legal, and Bees are beeing Detained for No Good Reason Whatsoever - Krunch even Arrested Mayor Billy Bee beecause he didn’t like the Carpet in his Office—that’s totally Unfair since Billy Bee has been an Avid Supporter of Her Insufferable Royal Majesty’s Policies), so the last I heard, the Protestors - along with my Editor - were beeing Locked inside that Diamond Safety Match Box and are currently waiting to bee sent to that Detention Hive located somewhere off the Coast of the Gulf of Mexico I mentioned beefore.

I wouldn’t wanna bee them.

As you probably Guessed, I wanted to ask if S.O.Bee could Intervene and help Save them, but as I said, he’s also been placed in Custody and is awaiting Deportation. In the meantime, I’m waiting to find out if the Jury will Acquit or Convict me of all those Charges. I can’t wait to find out.

But wait. Apparently, I won’t have to wait. I was just informed that the Jury has Returned with a Verdict, and I hafta’ go back into the Courtroom to Learn about what my Future is going to bee. Am I going to bee able to attend my Totally Unexpected Surprise Birthday Party tomorrow? Will I bee able to spend a Relaxing Evening streaming Re-Runs of my Stories (my favourite Episodes of “Escape from Bee Island: The Return” are finally available to Stream)? Or am I going to end up in that Match Box with the Protestors and my Editor? I’ll bet that you’re as Highly Excited as I am to find out what’s going to Happen, aren’t you? I’ll let you know what the Verdict is after I go hear what it Is.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Okay, so I have to make this Quick beecause in about two hours ago, I have to meet my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, at Lousy Louie's. He's Agreed to bee a Character Witness at my Upcoming Trial.
  
"Uncle Georgie," he said after he delivered the Honey so my New Friends and I could bee Released on Bail last week.
"Yes?" I asked him.
"You're the best Uncle in the world, and I love you, but sometimes, you’re Trouble. I have to say that sometimes you don't seem to bee as Aware as you perhaps Should Bee when it comes to sharing Swarm Secrets," he said.
"That's what S.O.Bee said," I told him (S.O.Bee is my Lawyer, you know). 
"Yes, he told me," Kevin continued, "which is why he has asked me to spend some time with you. We need to go over the Testimony we need to give at your Upcoming Trial. You need to bee able to Explain to the Royal Court why you Did what you Did, and I, as your Character Witness, need to Tweak what I'm going to say about you so that I also don't end up in Custody on Perjury Charges."
"We wouldn't want that," I told him.
"No, we would not," Kevin said. "But in the meantime, go home to your ShoeBox, get Cleaned Up, use the Bathroom, then get some rest. We'll meet at Lousy Louie's next Tuesday at Noon O'Clock sharp, by which time you need to have figured out how to Explain Yourself to the Court."
"Fine," I said.
"Until then," Kevin continued, "I don't want to bee Falsely Charged with Complicity, so it's best we are not Seen together - so you go your way, I'll go mine."
"Fine," I said. So we did that. He went his way and I went mine.

But you know it just occurred to me that you might not know what the hell I'm Talking About, do you? Let me back up a little bit and do some Explaining here.

First, you probably might possibly remember that I was Ordered to Present Myself in Her Insufferable Royal Majesty, Queen Darla's Royal Chambers. I was mostly completely Sure that she wanted to Compliment me on my Investigative Journalistic Report about the Mysterious Disappearance of approximately 61.0987% of our Swarm over the Cold Season that appeared in last week's Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News. There's no Doubt whatsoever that with the Queen's Endorsement, my winning that Beelitzer Prize for my Courageous Investigative Reporting is a Done Deal, you know.

I'll bet you can Imagine how Highly Excited I was to meet with Her Insufferable Royal Highness and Bask in the Warm Glow of her Admiration.

Unfortunately, and for some Reason, Queen Darla was anything but Pleased with my Investigative Reports about her Regime's Questionable Policies. Imagine my Surprise that, as soon as my Arrival to the Queen's Chambers was Announced, she ordered her Policy Enforcer, Krunch McKowsky, to take me into Custody and Charge me with 87 Counts of "Literary Conspiracy and Unauthorised Publication of Non-Publishable Classified Hive Intelligence and Third-Degree Exposure of Probably Illegal Royal Deportation Programmes" - or LCUPNpCHITdEPIRD, for short. She seemed Highly Upset when, even beefore I could tell Her Insufferable Royal Majesty that I was just reporting the Facts, she Loudly Buzzed at Krunch, "Take him away!" So he did that. Krunch taped my Wings together and took me to Central Booking (of course, then he had to Untape them so I could call my Lawyer,S.O.Bee), then he Wing-printed me, took another Mugshot (does my Mugshot make me look Fat?), and put me into a musty old Diamond Safety Match Box along with about three other small Bees who seemed as Confused as I was about why we were Arrested.

One of the Bees - I think he was Sweat Bee from Alabama (or was it Panama? Those sound almost totally exactly alike don't they? But I can't remember which for sure) - told me that he and his Crew had been Minding their own Buzziness when they were taken into Custody by Krunch McKowskey (how Rude is that?) and had been held Prisoners in the Box for about a Week and a Half. They told me they were Awaiting what they had been Informed would bee their Deportation Hearings. They also told me that, in case I was Curious, the Nectar they fed us in Lock-Up was way beeyond its Expiration Date (and it was), that they would have called their Lawyer to help Rectify their Situation, but that none of them had a Lawyer to help Intervene on their beehalf to either get them Released, or to make sure they had Nicer Nectar. I told them that I was sure my Lawyer would bee more than Happy to Represent them at their Deportation Hearings, which of course he did for an Unreasonable Fee. The last I heard, they were sent back to Alabama, or maybe it was Panama. I can't remember.

Anyway, I need to get ready for my Trial (which starts next week), so beefore I'm any later than I ever should have been, I need to fly over to Lousy Louie's and meet Kevin. So I'm gonna do that.

I’m incredibly Pleased and Proud to announce that my Editor is Exceedingly Pleased with me ever since yesterday’s Issue of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News came out yesterday. He says not only is his Circulation up, but there have been a lot more copies of our (I say “our” beecause I had a lot to do with this whole thing) Publication sold.

I just got back from visiting with him in his Office, where he told me that he is Exceedingly Pleased with my Job Performance, that he’s also Extremely Happy and Relieved that he isn’t the one who Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla, has Informed has to Show Up at her Royal Chamber no later than 4:00 p.m. this Afternoon. Or Else.

“That’s you she wants to See, Bee,” he told me. “After what you wrote in yesterday’s Issue - which sold more copies than we’ve sold in a very long time but which apparently has made the Queen Highly Displeased with the Bee who Wrote the Feature Story - I’m glad it’s not me that has to show up by 4:00 this Afternoon. Or Else.”

“What do you think she wants to See me about?” I asked. “Do you think she wants to tell me how much she enjoyed the Article we Published, and extend her Deepest Appreciation for all the Investigative work that exposed her Clandestine Programme of Systematic Bee Deportations?”

“I’m guessing not,” my Editor said. “I’m guessing that she wants some Answers about who your Sources are and where you’re getting your Information from, and from the sound of it, she doesn’t seem to bee as Pleased as we are about what you managed to Uncover, for some Reason.”

“Well, of course how can I say ‘NO’ to Her Insufferable Royal Highness, the Queen? I can’t. So right after I grab a Quick Lunch and go to the Bathroom, I’ll bee heading over to her Royal Chamber. I’m completely confident that after she hears all about how we managed to Expose her Activities, she’ll want to Reward me with a Beelitzer Prize. And I’ll bee sure to mention that if it weren’t for you, I would never have been able to have my Investigative Work published. It’s only Fair that you also get the Credit you so Richly Deserve.”

My Editor just kind of looked at me, told me to Leave him Out Of It, and to get the hell out of his Office. So I did that.

So now, I’m about ready to visit the Queen. I’ll bee sure to let everybody know all about how Pleased she is with me, just as soon as I get back. So I’m gonna go do that.

So I just got back from visiting with my Editor who was Kind enough to save me from having to board that WTF Airline Flight to the Highly Unpleasant Detention Hive somewhere off the coast of the Gulf of Mexico.  He was Curious about what I'd been Up To since he made it Clear that I now Owe him Big Time for my Continuing Freedom (he insisted that I go back to working for the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News as a Special Feature Reporter, you know). I'm mostly Relieved.

"So what have you been working on since I saved your Stinger last week, Bee?" He wanted to know.

"Well," I tried to think of something fast, since the most I'd done for the last week or so was to hang out around some local Trash Cans and spend some time with some other Bee friends enjoying snacking on what was left in some discarded Coke cans and listening to the latest Gossip, so I told him, "I've been Focusing my Attention on gathering Background Information on the Controversies surrounding Her Insufferable Majesty Queen Darla's Regime so I can provide you with a Juicy Exposé," I said, but of course I wasn't completely telling him the truth at all; in fact, I might have possibly been Lying, probably, since I had mostly spent most the week just Hanging Out with some friends, as I just mentioned.

"Excellent," he said.  "Am I right in thinking that you're working on a Report about the Queen's plans to negotiate a Trade Deal with that Swarm of Murder Hornets?"

"Are you kidding?" I asked, "She's doing that?" I asked, then I started wondering if I still had any of those Murder Hornet Swatters I had sold awhile ago, just in case my Editor decided to make me set up an Exclusive Interview with those guys, which I hope he doesn't. 

"No, I am not kidding. And have you started to look into the Reports that, while you were Sleeping through the Cold Season, we lost something like 61.0987% of our Fellow Bees?"

"We did?" I was Highly Distressed to hear that - and I hoped he wasn't blaming me for that."

"Yes, we did," he said.

"But that's not my Fault, right?" I asked, hoping that isn't my Fault.

"I don't beelieve so," he reassured me. "but that remains to bee Seen. We need you to Investigate this Situation."

"Fine," I said. Geeeeeze... I hope I don't find out that losing all those Fellow Bees is my Fault. I don't think I could handle that, but quite Frankly, I Totally Wonder how the hell I could bee responsible for 61.0987% of our Fellow Bees Perishing over the Cold Season. I was Asleep the whole time, mostly, though as I understand it (as Potato my Sensory-Impaired Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug informed me), I do have a Tendency to occasionally Buzz and Fly in my Sleep, so who knows what the hell Happened when that Happened? I don't. But I guess that's why my Editor is insisting I Look Into the Issue. As much as I'm not into Self-Incrimination, it looks like I hafta' at least look into the Possibility that I'm Responsible for all that. It's my Job now, after all.

"In the Meantime," my Editor kept Buzzing at me, "I want you to Dedicate your Time today to cover the Festivities associated with World Bee Day today. I think it is important for the Bees who have to keep working in the Hive today to bee able to hear all about everything they missed."

I had no Idea that today is World Bee Day. I don't even know what that Means, but I'm hoping that maybee there's a big Party going on for us, or maybee we'll bee getting some Gift Cards or something. Then I wondered who it is that gets to Celebrate World Bee Day, beecause it doesn't seem to bee Bees, now does it?

"But," I asked beecause it needed to bee Mentioned, "doesn't everybody in the Hive have to Work today?"

"Of course they do," he said, "which is why your Report is going to bee so good for Circulation. It's like I always say, 'the Newspaper Buzziness is built on Bees wanting to read about what they Missed'."

I'd never thought of it that way beefore, maybee beecause I'd never heard my Editor say that beefore, so I said, "I've never thought of it that way beefore, but I'll bet you're Right. Everybody is Moved by what we write, aren't they? And that makes them even more Curious, and that keeps them Flying Around trying to find out more about what they Missed, which is great for Circulation and Overall Health. And I'll bet it also sells a lot more copies of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record... and Online News, doesn't it?" I said. I knew my Editor would bee Impressed with my Innate Understanding of the Newspaper Buzziness.

My Editor just kind of stared at me with his Beady Compound Eyes for what seemed to bee a Long Time, then he suggested, "Get the hell out of my Office".  So I did that.

Today, on this World Bee Day, I'm gonna do my Best to go find out whatever it might bee that the Bees who have to Work (which is everybody) are Missing, and then I'm going back home to my ShoeBox to see if I can find one of those old Murder Hornet Swatters so I can Investigate whatever's happening with the Deal that Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla, is trying to make with those usually-not-so-Friendly-or-Safe-to-Bee-Around Murder Hornets.

So I'm gonna go do that.

So just in case you hadn’t heard, which you probably didn’t unless you have a Subscription to the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News, I have been Spared the Indignity of beeing sent to that Highly Unpleasant Detention Hive somewhere off the Coast of the Gulf of Mexico. I was just about to bee Forcibly Boarded onto one of Red Eye’s WTF Outbound Flights when my Lawyer, S.O.Bee, showed up with a Restraining Order, a copy of my Hive I.D. (the one with the Daisy in the upper right hand corner), and Proof of Gainful Employment that my Editor was mostly Kind enough to Issue on my Beehalf. Of course, I was a bit Surprised about that one, beecause I was completely pretty sure that I had been Fired by my Editor after I’d failed to Wake Up right away at the beeginning of the new Warm Season. But, as it turns out, my friend, Rudy Bee (who works as an Investigative Reporter) Spoke to my Editor and convinced him that he should Hire me back as an Impartial Editorial Observer for the Paper - something I’m very good at doing sometimes, probably.

Anyway. After filling out some Paperwork, I was allowed to return Home to my ShoeBox, where my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, and Potato, my Sensory-Impaired Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug were waiting.

“It is so very good to have you back Safe and Sound,” Kevin said. “I was very concerned about your Well-Beeing beecause, as you know, you’re the Best Uncle in the World, and I love you, and the very Thought of you beeing sent away to that Terrible Place was much more than any of us could stand. So Welcome Home.”

“I, too,” Potato said, “am beeyond Pleased that you Escaped the Clutches of Krunch McKowsky and that we can Resume our Efforts to Bolster your Emotional Health. I am here for you anytime you need to Discuss the Highly Unpleasant Ordeal you’ve just been through.”

“Thank you,” I said, “it’s very good to bee Home again. I plan to spend the rest of the Day just taking it Easy, and enjoying a nice, refreshing Nectar Fizz and munching on some of Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™.”

“About that,” Kevin said. “You should know that Queen Darla has decided to rename Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Cookies - they’re now to bee called ‘Queen Darla’s Magic Biscuits’. Most of us refuse to call them that, and Great Grandma Gee Gee is more than upset about this whole thing, but the Queen has issued a Royal Decree, so some of the bees in the Hive are now using the New Name - but not most of us. We like the old Name.”

“You know,” I said, “it seems as if a Lot has Changed since I’ve been asleep, but I will bee part of the Swarm that continues to call Gee Gee’s Cookies by their real name. So I very much want a Platter full of those, a Nectar Fizz, and to just take off my Shoes and Relax - right after I used the Bathroom.”

“I am afraid that will have to Wait, Uncle,” Kevin informed me. “The fact is that your Editor has demanded to See You as soon as you were Released from Krunch’s Custody - Or Else - which just happens to bee Right Now. So you have to go do that.”

“Fine,” I said. “But I do need to use the Bathroom first.”

“Fine,” Kevin said.

So that’s what I did, then I went to see my Editor who told me that I Owe him Bigtime and that he wanted me to start Reporting on the Fabricated Truth of what’s happening under Queen Darla’s Regime.

So I’m gonna do that.

I'm Highly Happy to let everybody know that my Lawyer, S.O. Bee, was able to Intervene in the Threatened Deportation of my friend, Rudy Bee, to that Highly Unpleasant Off-Shore Punitive Beehive somewhere off the coast of the Gulf of Mexico.  He convinced Krunch McKowsy (Queen Darla's  Enforcer) that Rudy hadn't been Insulting her Insufferable Royal Highness, Queen Darla, and that he was merely Doing His Job as the Investigative Reporter for the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News. So Rudy's free. For now.

But I'm Highly Unhappy to announce that Krunch McKowsky decided to take me into Custody beecause he thinks I shouldn't bee able to call Her Insufferable Royal Highness, Queen Darla, "Insufferable", even if (as everybody in the Hive knows) she is. So I'm under arrest and am beeing threatened with beeing Deported to that Highly Unpleasant Off-Shore Punitive Beehive somewhere off the coast of the Gulf of Mexico. I can tell you right now that I don't want to Go There. As I might have mentioned beefore,  I've heard the Nectar there is terrible, and the only thing on the TV in the Commons Area are re-runs of those Annoying Burger Queen Commercials (I'm sure you know the ones). I'm guessing they do  that on purpose, just to make the whole Experience of beeing there all the more Non-Enjoyable.  

Anyway, after Krunch took me into Custody, I was given the Opportunity to send One Buzz-O-Gram™, so I contacted Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) and asked him to ask my Lawyer (S.O.Bee) to come back to Krunch's Temporary Detention Facility that's conveniently located in the Basement of the Hive (you didn't know that Hives have Basements did you? ), so I'm hoping that he shows up pretty Soon and is able to get me out of this mess.

I asked Krunch if I was at least going to get a Hearing about all this.
"No," he said.
"But I'm a Contributive Member of the Swarm in Good Standing, mostly, so shouldn't I at least get a chance to Speak on my Own Beehalf?" I had to know.
"No," he said.
"Well, I think you should know that my Lawyer is on the way, and I think he'll bee able to clear up this Whole Mess."
"He'd better bee here soon," Krunch said, "beecause your Flight will bee leaving soon."
(I found out that Red Eye, Owner and Chief Pilot of WTF Airlines has cut a Deal with Her Insufferable Royal Highness, Queen Darla, to Transport those she considers to bee "Problem Bees" to that Detention Hive. To bee honest, I would have expected better from Red Eye.) 

In the meantime, while I'm waiting for him to Show Up, I've just been informed that I have to Submit to having my Wing Prints taken (no two wings are the same, you know) and get ready to Board my Flight, which I hope I don't hafta' do beefore S.O.Bee gets here and manages to use his Formidable Negotiating Skills to Facilitate my Release and convinces Krunch to let me go back Home to my ShoeBox (I really need to use the Bathroom, and I totally Prefer to use my own), then take a Nap.

So I'm gonna go do that.

So I Know everybody’s anxious to Know what I found out about what it was that I didn’t want to Know about, so I’m here to tell you what I Know, so far.

First, I’m sorry it’s taken me so Long to get back to you on this, but after I started asking around about what it was I didn’t wanna Know, I was taken into Custody by Krunch McKowski on Suspicion of Asking Too Many Questions (which used to bee legal around here, but as I found out, ever since the Hive got a new Queen - Her Insufferable Royal Majesty, Queen Darla - it appears that asking too many Questions can get you into Trouble), and I was just finally Released early this Morning, thanks to the Fine Work of my Lawyer, S.O.Bee. If it weren’t for him, chances are I’d already bee on my way to Highly Unpleasant Off-Shore Punitive BeeHive somewhere off the Gulf of Mexico. I’m glad I’m not there - I’ve heard the Nectar is terrible.

Anyway, I’m still just finding out a few of the things I wanted to Know, and was lucky enough to find the Front Page of yesterday’s Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News, which I’m Pleased and Proud to bee able to Share with you. Hey - it’s better than nothing, probably.

There are still a whole bunch of things I hafta’ find out about what the hell is Going On around here, and I was just about to go find my friend, Rudy Bee, but rumour has it that yesterday, he was taken into Custody by Krunch McCowsky by Order of the Queen, and that he’s beeing Questioned about the nature of the Investigative Journalism he’s been doing. From the Buzz I heard around the Hive, Krunch is accusing Rudy of Insulting the Queen (which, by the way, didn’t used to bee a Problem, but apparently is now a Punishable Offence that could result in Rudy’s beeing sent to a Highly Unpleasant Off-Shore Punitive Beehive somewhere off the Gulf of Mexico that I mentioned beefore), so I’ve gotta go give S.O.Bee a Buzz and ask if he’ll Intervene and try to arrange for Rudy to bee Released. I hope he can, beecause Rudy is about the only Bee who seems to know what the hell is really Going On around here.

So I’ve gotta go do that.

You know how sometimes you think you wanna Know something that somebody else has said, “You don’t wanna’ Know”, but you DID wanna Know, and the fact that they said that made you want to Know even more, so you keep asking around until you finally find out what it was they said you didn’t wanna Know, but then you start to think that maybee you really don’t want to Know whatever it is you don't wanna' Know, after all? I’m pretty sure that’s happened to all of us, mostly, and I’m here to Inform you that as much as I'd like to Tell you all about what the hell's been Going On since I've been Asleep, I still don’t Know what it is I don’t wanna Know, so I can't. Sorry about that.
But let me Explain:

First, after Potato (my Sensory-Deprived Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug) woke me up and got me all Curious about what was Going On that she said I didn’t want to Know, I finished the MegaSlurp-Sized Mug of Morning Nectar, put on a fresh pair of Socks, went to the Bathroom again, then decided to head over to the Hive to find out what the hell is Going On.

The first friend I ran into was ButterCup, my girlfriend.

“It’s nice to see you’re finally Awake, Georgie,” she said. “We were beeginning to think that you’d either fallen into another Coma, or that maybee you Died in your Sleep — after all, you are getting Older by the Day — so I’m glad you’re still with us. I don’t suppose you’re here to wish me a Happy Birthday, are you? I’m sure you remembered that my Birthday was two days ago, right? And I’ll just bet you’ve got a Fabulous Birthday Surprise to give me, right?”

I hafta’ say that I hadn’t had a chance to check my Calendar, so I hadn’t Remembered that it was ButterCup’s Birthday, so of course, I didn’t have a Fabulous Birthday Surprise to give her, but as everybody Knows, I think very Quickly on my Feet (though I hafta bee honest and admit that I think I Think faster when I’m sitting down, but there was no Chair around, so that was that), so I said, “Absolutely. My Gift to you is your Choice of either an All-Expense-Paid Lunch or an Elegantly Romantic Eighteen-Course Supper at Lousy Louie’s - just name the Day you wanna’ go, and we’ll make it a Birthday Date,” I said.

ButterCup kind of looked at me Suspiciously out of the Corner of her Compound Eye, and said, “I suppose if that’s the best you can come up with, that’ll have to do, but I was hoping for something more along the line of a Gift Card from Bees’R’Us, or maybee tickets to Rudy’s ‘Welcome to the New Warm Season’ Classical Bluegrass Concert next month - I heard it’s going to Feature UltraViolet on her Ukulele, and the Ever-Popular Zambeezi. I just love them, you know.”

“Sorry, I was going to get Tickets for us last week,” (so I told her a Harmless Lie), ”but they were all Sold Out, so if we’re gonna’ go to that, I’m gonna’ hafta’ find some Tickets on the Black Market for us.” I was sure I’d Fooled her.

“You’re lying, Georgie. I know that, beecause the Tickets just went on sale this Morning. I can only Hope that you get us Tickets beefore they are all Sold Out…Or Else,” she said.

“Or Else what?” I had to Know.
“You don’t wanna Know,” she said.

Which brings me back to what I was going to Share with you, in a way. Changing the Subject, I told ButterCup about how Potato was Reading the Paper and was Refusing to tell me what’s Going On, and that beesides telling me about the Tariffs, she would only say that I don’t wanna Know. Do you happen to Know what the hell has been Going On while I was Sleeping?” I asked.

“I do,” ButterCup said. “And you Know about the Tariffs?”

“I do,” I said. “So what so what else has been Going On?” I asked her.

“You don’t wanna Know,” was all she said.

Then she told me she’d let me know about the Lunch or Elegantly Romantic Supper at Lousy Louies, but that her Break was Over and that she had to get back to work.
So she did that.

To make what should bee Relatively Short Story just a little bit longer, I started asking everybody I ran into at the Hive if they Knew what the hell had been Going On while I was Asleep. They all said, “Yes, we do,” then I’d say, “What?”, and they’d only say, “You don’t want to Know.”

How frustrating is that? And, of course, when I tried to find a copy of the Latest Edition of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News, they were all Sold Out.

Finally, I decided the best way I could find out about what everybody said I didn’t wanna’ Know that I wanted to Know was to go visit BigFoot. He’s not only Highly Well-Informed (he reads all the time - that’s all he does beecause that’s all he Can Do since he can’t Fly beecause his Feet are too Big, which must bee a Drag), but he always tells the Truth, mostly, so I Knew if anybody could or would tell me what the hell has been Going On, it was BigFoot. I was mostly absolutely Sure that he’d let me Know whatever it was that I supposedly didn’t want to Know.

So I did that.

When I found BigFoot, he was buzzy sorting through the next Pile of Books he plans to Read over the Warm Season. When he saw me coming, he said, “So you finally Woke Up, did you?”

“Yes, I am now Awake. I’m also Highly Curious about what the hell has been Going On while I was sleeping, but…”, he Interrupted me.

“But let me guess: everybody you’ve Asked has told you that you don’t want to Know, am I right?”

“That’s correct,” I was Amazed he Knew that. “And…”, I started to Say, but he Interrupted me again.

“…and you’ve come to visit me beecause you think I’ll bee able to tell you what it is they say you don’t want to Know - right? How am I doing so far?”

“Just great,” I complimented him, “but I’m still trying to find out what the hell it is that everybody says I don’t want to Know that I want to Know.”

“I Know,” BigFoot said, “but I regret to Inform you that, in this Instance, I, uh, I…uh…really can’t help you out, beecause...umm.. I’ve been so Buzzy sorting books that I don’t Know what’s been Going On. Yeah, that’s right. I’ve had to sort all these Books. But to bee Almost Honest with you, I have also heard that whatever it is that’s been Going On, you don’t want to Know, probably.” Then he looked at me funny. Something was Up. I couldn’t bee Sure, but I was totally and without any Question whatsoever Positive that BigFoot was Lying to me. But I couldn’t Prove it, and I could tell he wasn’t in the Mood to bee Questioned any further about any of this.

So I thanked him and left.

I hafta’ say that I’m beeyond Frustrated about all this, so I’ve decided the best thing to do is to get a Table at Lousy Louie’s (or maybee a Booth — Booth’s are more Private, aren’t they? And they’re usually a lot more Comfortable, but if they only have a Table available, I’ll take that. I’m not overly Demanding, usually sometimes), and I’ll order a Tall Nectar Fizz and just wait for the Late Edition of the Paper to show up at my Nearest Convenient News Stand - and then I’m completely sure I’ll finally bee able to find out what the hell it is that I don’t wanna’ Know that I wanna Know.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Do you live around here? And If so, have you by any chance Stepped Outside lately? I mean seriously now.

Now, I realise I’ve been Totally and Exclusively Focused on what it is I’m gonna do for the rest of the Cool Season, but after Potato (my Sensory-Impaired, Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug) noticed I’d been Staring Into Space for the past I dunno how many Days, she told me to Snap Out Of It and go Outside for a Breath of Fresh Air. So I did that, and about the only thing I can say is: What the hell happened to all the Nice Weather?

I dunno if you live around here, or if you’ve even Noticed, but it’s COLD out and, at some point when I wasn’t paying a lot of attention (which I haven’t been lately), it also Snowed. Geeeeeeze…it’s still the Cool Season for cryin’ out loud - NOT the Cold Season.

Let me just ask: Should I bee running around Outside when it’s Cold and Snowy? No, I shouldn’t bee (I’d Freeze and Die, and Nobody wants that, probably). And since I shouldn’t bee going Outside, do I have a whole bunch of stuff to do Inside? No, I don’t. So what am I going to do? I’m gonna go to bed.

I’ll see ya’ when I wake up.

Well, here I am  - it's another Cool Season Friday, and about all I have to do is to sit here with my Nectar Colada enjoying what's left of a Platterful of Great Grandma Gee Gee's Highly Delicious and Marginally Nutritious Royal HoneyChew Krisp™ Cookies, and Ponder what I should bee doing with my Time and Attention beetween now and the time the Cold Season arrives.

In case you're Curious, I did manage to pay all that Honey to my Editor. Okay, so maybee I delivered it three days Late, but I don't think it was Necessary for him to Gripe at me for 87 minutes the way he did, and I especially don't think it was right that my Editor ended his Tirade with, "You're Fired, Bee - now get the hell out of my Office," but he did, so I did that.

So now, I don't have a Job, and I'm entirely Not Sure, mostly, how I'm going to Invest my Precious Time for the rest of the Cool Season. I mean, I'm not all that Big on Pollinating and, quite frankly, there just aren't quite as many Flowers to bee Pollinated at this Time of the Year, so just like me, most of the Bees in the Hive have a lot of extra Time on their Wings also, as well. Maybee I can take Advantage of that.

Maybee I should start a Book Club. We can start with my Novel ("An Affair in Algiers").

Maybee I should go back to selling Paper Spoons (as we all Know, you can never have too many Paper Spoons). 
 
Maybee I should start Smoking ... I do love the taste of Smoked Overripe Plums, don't you?

Or maybee I should think about helping Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) rebuild his Fabricated Intelligence Device (the Judge never said he couldn't build another one, you know). He told me he plans to Call it his "Reconfigured Interactive Fabricated Intelligence Personal Companion with Optional Integrated Recipe Reference Pak and Advice-Generating Module Device" - or the RIFIPCOIRRPAGMD (pronounced "RifiPcOIRR-PagmD"), for short, and told me he could really use my Help with the Thing...not that I Know a lot about Technology, but as we all Know, when it comes to Advice, I'm your Bee.

I dunno. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. Maybee I should just sit here with my Refreshing Beverage and Marginally-Nourishing Cookies, and just Enjoy the rest of this Beeautiful Cool Season while I Figure Out whatever I should do next.

So I'm gonna do that.  

Okay, so here's what it is: The Hive's Royal Court decided to push up my Editor's Trial to an earlier and less Convenient Date, so that was held yesterday. After the Jury deliberately sat down together overnight and Discussed how to Rule in this case, they returned today with a Verdict. It was Totally Silent in the Courtroom as the Forebee read the Verdict:  Guilty. (Of  course, I found out later that it was Totally Silent in the Courtroom beecause just about everybody was Asleep - it was a very Long and Boring Trial, and most of the Swarm couldn't stay awake, especially during all that Insufferably Boring Testimony from the Prosecution about the Non-Exculpatory DMA Evidence or whatever the hell it was. Nobody understood any of that at all.) Anyway...

To make an Unnecessarily Long and Complicated Story Shorter than it probably Should Bee, the Judge told my Editor that he had to Pay a Fine of 3 Pounds of Honey (which is about as light a Sentence as anybody could ever get), then she Ordered that Kevin's (my Illegitimate Nephew's) Fi2 Fabricated Intelligence Device bee Taken into Custody to bee Immediately Dismantled and that its parts bee scattered in a Human Landfill (Kevin's very upset about this). Then she said, "Case Closed."   I'm absolutely Highly sure that this is the first time in History of the Planet that a Fabricated Intelligence Device got the Death Penalty (it still claims it's Innocent). 

So that was that. Mostly.

As we left the Courtroom, my Editor kind of glared at me with his Beady Compound Eyes and said, "Listen up, Bee: you're paying my Fine. You owe me five Pounds of Honey."
"But you were only Fined 3 pounds," I was amazed he had forgotten that Fact so soon. I mean, I know my Editor is beeginning to have some Trouble remembering things (unlike me, who as everybody knows sometimes usually has a Flawless Memory most of the time, probably), but seriously now. I hope he gets help with what Appears to bee a Short-Term Memory Issue. 
"You're paying the Court Fine of three Pounds of Honey, AND, I must add," he added, "you're going to pay two more Pounds of Honey for the Aggravation you've caused me.  And I don't want any of that Cheap Imitation Stuff they try to call Honey in stores...I want the real stuff: five Pounds of Grade A, Unfiltered, Local Honey. Five. And I expect those FIVE Pounds of Honey to bee in my Office and on my Desk by the End of the Day - Or Else."
"Fine," I said.

Oh geeeeeeezzzzze.  How in the hell am I going to get my Wings on Five Pounds of Honey beefore the End of the Buzziness Day? 

I need to deal with this, so I'm gonna go do that.