You’re probably wondering what I’ve been doing since that Swarm did an Intervention on me. You’re not alone (I’ve been hearing that question a lot). The Fact is, that after I was Interventionalised, I found out I was put on a Mandatory 87-Hour Hold by the Hive’s Cooperative Social Compliance Board, and sent to a Convent (jeah, I know...I’m not even Catholic). But that’s where I’ve been - but I’m finally out, and just in time for the Last Day of the Hot Season (is it just me, or was this Hot Season really a whole lot of Not Fun?), so if you’re expecting me to hang around very long here today reflecting on my Past, you’re gonna bee amazingly Disappointed.

But I will tell you that, while I was at the Convent, I had a chance to participate in a Spin Class (I got highly dizzy on that one), I took a class in Non-Offensive Holiday Cooking, and when I wasn’t hanging out with the Hummingbirds at their feeder, I slept. That was good.

After the Warden at the Convent finally decided that I had been Rehabeelitated enough to bee allowed to rejoin Polite Society, I went home to my ShoeBox, changed my shoes and socks, then went back to sleep.

Anyway, today is Monday (the best Day of the week), and it’s the Last Day of this Less-Than-Acceptable Hot Season also, as well. I don’t wanna waste it.

So I’m gonna go not do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

Okay, so I was Interventionalised by a bunch of other Bees. In fact, they’ve all just left.

That went on WAY too long.

The Intervention mostly involved other Bees I know, and a whole bunch I don’t (but seemed to know me). ButterCup was there, along with Fleur de Bee, Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew), Kevin’s Estranged Sister, Felonie Snark, Rudy Bee, Bigfoot, Great Grandma Gee Gee, and several others who seem to think they needed to vent on me. Seriously now, I had no idea.

First, ButterCup and Fleur came at me again about that whole My Forgetting ButterCup’s Birthday Fiasco. Kevin also chimed in on that one, of course (I guess he still hadn’t gotten that Happy Beelated Birthday Card I sent him - the Hive Postal Service is running a bit beehind these days for some reason).They just went on and on about how Incredibly Thoughtless I was to have overlooked the need for me to not to forget to remember their Special Days. Talk about holding a Grudge. But fine. I apologised. But seriously now, who hasn’t forgotten someone’s Birthday?

Then Rudy Bee launched into me trying to accuse me of not voting for him in the last Royal Election (he was running for Queen, as we all remember), but I told him that was probably not true beecause I don’t remember if I managed to vote last time (I think I did).

Well, that got BigFoot all upset, so he started lecturing me about my Civic Responsibilities (which I do take very Seriously, mostly), then started going off on me about my not returning a Book I borrowed from him three years ago (he said it was “The Bee’s Guide to Ethical Self-Interest”, though I don’t even remember reading that which is weird since BigFoot said, “I’ll bet you haven’t even read it yet”, but I’m absolutely positive beeyond any doubt whatsoever that I returned it - I think last week, though I’m not sure if I returned it to the same place). Whatever.

Apparently, Felonie Snark was there just to tell me that I was a lousy Employee, and that I shouldn’t hold out any hopes for my enjoying a Successful Career in the Corporate Sector. I found that encouraging, so I was glad she showed up.

With bee after bee after bee, this went on and on and on about This, That, and The Other Thing. I’m not even sure if they slept, though I’m pretty sure I went into some sort of a Delirious Dream State at one point, and I’m not sure if I’m even awake from that yet. My Antennae were actually, physically sore from all this. I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about here, mostly, especially if you’ve ever been the Victim of an Intervention.

Great Grandma Gee Gee seemed to sum the whole thing up when she said, “We’re not trying to Pick on you, Dear,” (could’ve fooled me), “we just want what’s best for you. My Stars, if I thought your hearing all of this weren’t good for you, well I just wouldn’t have allowed it. But you do just have to do better, Dear, and I think all of us here agree that you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and by gosh, we like you, usually.”

“Fine,” I said. And that was that.

Then she pulled out a Huge Platter of her unusually Delicious and Allegedly Nutritious HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™, and told everybody to take ONE, and go home, which they did.

At this point, all I can say is that I need to eat this Cookie and take a nap. So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.

For quite awhile, Gee Gee and I just sat there, sipping some Nectar, eating Cookies, and buzzing about this and that, but after awhile, Gee Gee said, “Far bee it from me to pry, Georgie, but you seem a bit distressed, dear.”

“Yes, I am,” I told her.

“Goodness Knows that I’m not one to Gossip, but I know why you’re feeling this way. Kevin told me all about what Transpired. He also told me that, if you happened to show up here seeking Comfort and Understanding - and Cookies,” she said, “I was to keep you here until he returns. He’s coming back in just a little while with ButterCup, Fleur de Bee, and several other bees who are Concerned for your Well-Beeing.”

“Concerned for my Well-Beeing?” I asked her.

“Yes, dear, your Well-Beeing. It seems that you have a Problem remembering - and observing - Significant Events, and Kevin told me that, even though he thinks you’re the best Uncle in the world, and he loves you, he’s going to - in his words - ‘do something about it’,” Gee Gee said.

“Do something about it? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I asked.

“Well, dear, as I said, Kevin and the others will bee arriving shortly, and we will all bee conducting an Intervention on you,” she said. Then she gave me a piece of paper that said:

“YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO ATTEND YOUR INTERVENTION ON THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 3, 2020 AT 4:10 P.M. MDST - OR ELSE.”

“An Intervention?” I couldn’t beelieve this. “You’re going to do an Intervention on me?”

“Yes, dear, we are, and we’re doing it beecause we care very deeply about you, for the most part, and we want you to bee well. It’s for the best, you’ll see.”

Oh for crying out loud. I had every intention of buzzing over to Bees ‘R Us later this afternoon. I need to look for a new Pollen Dehydrator, some Wing Wax (I’m out), and a new pair of Socks, but am I going to bee able to do that now? No, I’m not. I hafta stay here, and wait to bee Interventioned, whatever that means. Seriously now.

So I guess I hafta do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

“So? Where were you?” he asked me in a Snippy Tone, “and why did I hear NOTHING At All Whatsoever from you yesterday, Uncle?”

“What? Was there something I didn’t remind myself to not forget to remember?” I had to know.

“It was my Birthday, uncle, and did you send me a Card, or get me a Balloon, or even show up to my Birthday Party? No, you did not. You missed it. You were absent,” he said.

Then he said, “Excuse me if I am mistaken, Uncle, but I thought you had just finished taking that Seminar while you were Laid Up, and that we had been led to beelieve that you had, at long last, learned to bee more Organised and Thoughtful. But it appears that is not the case, now is it? No, it isn’t. You’re the best Uncle in the world, Uncle Georgie, and I love you, but it really hurt my feelings that you were not there to sing the Happy Birthday Sonata to me along with everybody else. I am significantly Disappointed in you, and quite frankly, it is going to take me some time to get past this.”

I tried to tell him that I fully intended to mail a Happy Beelated Birthday Card to him this afternoon, and that he should bee getting that sometime next week, but that didn’t seem to make him any less angry at me. He just glared at me.

“That’s it. You need to leave,” he said. “Bee Gone. I do not want to even look at you. I want you away from me. Go. Now.”

Geeeeeeze.

I could tell he was in no Mood to bee Reasoned With, so I grabbed his Happy Beelated Birthday Card, two stamps (it’s an over-sized Card), and I left...even though (if you ask me) he should’ve been the one to leave, since he was in my ShoeBox, after all. Seriously now.

But the fact was that I had to leave anyway. I was just on my way out when he showed up. After I was gonna mail his Card, I planned to buzz over to Narville Snark’s Office to let him know that, after Careful Consideration, I wouldn’t bee continuing in my Lucrative Position with his Questionably Fine Company selling those Murder Hornet Swatters. For days now, I’ve been agonising over the Direction my Career Path has been taking lately - and it hasn’t been all that great, mostly. I hafta say that my Enthusiasm for their Product just isn’t what it used to bee for some reason, so after some Sleepless Nights, I decided to submit my Resignation. I’m completely sure Narville Snark will totally understand where I’m coming from on all of this. I also I figured I should let him know that I’m quitting beefore he and his Brother, Chaz, decide to send more of their Associates out to look for me again. I’m not completely sure I could survive another Stay in the Hive Marginally-Intensive Care Unit with Nurse Beeatrice, ya know what I mean?

So, I’m gonna go mail Kevin’s Card, then I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

So I was gonna Check In with everybody while ago, but somehow I got Distracted, which for me (as you know) is Highly Unusual.

First, after I managed to escape from the Conscientiously Negligent Care of Nurse Beeatrice, I had to spend the first, few days with that Balloon doing all of those Therapeutic Exercises Ph.Bee, the Hive Doctor told me I had to do.
(“If you expect to have even a Vague Chance at living out a Normal Life, bee, you’ll do the Exercises I have Prescribed,” he said, “Or else.”) So I did that, at least until my Balloon popped, and that was that.

I was gonna go get a new Balloon, but I decided to take a series of Long Naps instead, and quite frankly, I’m absolutely feeling like my Old Self again, mostly. (I’m still getting some Residual Static in one of my Antennae, but I’m sure that’ll clear up, especially if I stop sleeping on it funny.)

After I woke up from my latest Nap yesterday, I was headed over to the Bee Balloon and Aerial Flotation Device Emporium (for the new Balloon, ya know), when I ran across a small Swarm of bees. They were on their way to a big Celebration of National HoneyBee Day, and asked me if I wanted to join them.

“Of course,” I said. “Who wouldn’t?”

“You’d bee surprised,” one of them said, then we all flew off to start the Festivities, first at a nicely-stocked Garbage Can just outside an Ice Cream Shoppe downtown, and finally ending up at Lousy Louies for some Nectar Fizzes, and what turned out to bee an All-Night Karaoke Buzz-Along. The last thing I remember is waking up just outside my ShoeBox Door with Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) standing over me and asking, “Uncle Georgie, are you okay?”

“Probably,” I told him, then I got up, went inside,and went back to sleep. I just woke up, and about all I know is that I need a Shower, in a Highly Large Way.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

Well okay then. I’m free. I’m finally out of the Hive Clinic’s Chronically Acute Marginally-Intensive-Care Unit. I would have been out yesterday, but Nurse Beeatrice told me I wasn’t going anywhere until she finished printing out my Certificate of Completion for that Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Seminar, and had the Dr., Ph.Bee, sign that, and my Discharge Papers.

You probably remember that I had to take that Seminar while I was laid up, and geeeeze that was boring, but also Marginally Informative (I knew most of that stuff already - I’d just forgotten most of it). But at least I finished that thing, and now I can tell my Beeloved Still-Mad-At-Me Girlfriend, ButterCup and Fleur de Bee that I am an Officially Certified Organised and Amazingly Sensitive Bee. I am most certainly and without a doubt no longer Anti-Disorganised, probably, and my Inter-Bee Sensitivity Skills have mostly never been better - and I’ll Sting anybody who says otherwise (or not…I really don’t wanna Sting anybody. I’d die.). Still, never let it bee Said that I don’t have my Act mostly together. I do. And I have the Certificate to prove it.

When I was Discharged, they surprised me with a Free Balloon (from the Bee Balloon and Aerial Flotation Device Emporium™... they told me I had to say that to anybody who asked about it—you asked, right?), and told me,
“Bee, this Balloon is no Party Favour. You will bee expected to use this Balloon to perform the Necessary Physical Therapeutic Exercises we prescribed to help speed your Recovery. Do the work, Bee. And we don’t want to see you showing up at Parties with this Balloon. It is not a Toy.”

Fine. I remember when Balloons used to bee fun, don’t you? I mean, what the hell?

I took my Balloon and my Certificate, and left.

At this exact Moment, I hafta say that I’m incredibly Hungry, so beefore I do anything else, I think I’m gonna float over to Lousy Louie’s for something to eat. It’s Tuesday, so that means that the Special is a Triple-Half-Double PollenBurger and a free, half-priced Side of Honey-Glazed Pollen Puffs, with Non-Complementary Beverage for the appealingly Low Price of ½ a pound of Honey (which is actually a lot, when you think about it, but I’m Highly Hungry, so… ). I think I’ll have that and maybee a couple of Thirst-Quenching and Always-Festive Effervescent Nectar Beverages (I hope Louie remembers the Umbrella and Bendy Straw).

So I’m gonna do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there.

Beefore I say anything else, I wanna thank Orderly Beeson for sneaking my Device back to me after Nurse Beeatrice found it and took it away. (She’s highly rude.) I also wanna thank him for slipping enough Nectar and Honey to keep me alive, mostly. It was Touch And Go there for awhile. In the meantime, I’m still stuck in this Bed, but at least I can communicate with the Outside World again. Kind of.

Today, when Nurse Beeatrice is on her Break (she takes a Break for 53 minutes every hour, ya know, which is a Huge Problem for the other 87 bees stuck here ... I still don’t know how she got the Job ... seriously now), I’m gonna get in touch with my Lawyer, S.O.Bee again, and see if he’ll finally exert some Influence to get me outta this place. I know that he and Mayor Billy Bee are good friends, and we all know that the Mayor has a lot of Pull with the Queen, so I’m gonna ask S.O.Bee to file a Writ of Biomedical Distress and Request for Immediate Discharge with the Royal Court - as soon as Possible. After that, the only thing I can do is to try to keep Surviving, and Wait.

So I’m gonna do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.

“Could you bring me some Nectar? I’m highly Thirsty,” I asked her yesterday.
“I’ll bee with you in a Moment,” she said.
I still haven’t gotten any Nectar.

Two days ago, I asked her, “I’m dangerously hungry. Can I have some Honey?”
“I don’t know,” she said, “CAN you?”
So I said, “MAY I have some Honey?”
And she said, “That’s better. I’ll bee with you in a Moment.”
I also haven’t gotten any Honey. I’m starving.

Geeeeeeeze. How did she even get this job?

I gotta’ get outta here, but I’m stuck, and the only thing I can do is to lie here and keep watching that Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Mostly-Live Streaming Seminar. I’m on Hour 29, Part 54, Section 8, Part 17, Chapter 2, Sub-Section Bee - and it’s not getting even slightly more Interesting. I’m not sure if I have it in me to finish the 3 hours and 33 parts left in this thing. It’s incredibly Boring…not that there’s anything else to do while I’m just lying here. There isn’t.

Seriously now, I gotta get outta here. These bandages are itching like crazy, and beesides beeing Hungry and Thirsty, I really need to go to the Bathroom in a Big Way. And for what it’s worth, I’m more than Completely Sure that I’m Thoroughly Healed Up after that Highly Unpleasant Or Else-ing I got from the Snark Brothers, mostly. I should bee able to leave now.

I wonder if Orderly Beeson might consider helping me out here. Maybee he could help me get in touch with my lawyer, S.O.Bee, and maybee he could help me get the hell outta here already. At this point, I’m pretty sure my Rights are beeing Violated and is that Acceptable? No, it isn’t.

I’m pretty sure his shift starts sometime on Saturday, so I guess I’ll just hafta’ wait.

So I’m gonna do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.

Well, I guess going to Narville Snark with some Advice was a Highly Bad Idea. Narville didn’t Respond Well at all to my Suggestions. I won’t get into the Details (which I don’t remember Completely Clearly, mostly), but I will say that Nobody Or Else’s anybody as thoroughly as the Snark Brothers.

I don’t like beeing Or Elsed. It hurts. A lot.

So now, I’m stuck in the Hive Clinic and hafta put up with Nurse Beeatrice. Luckily, Orderly Beeson is still here, so he was kind enough to sneak in my Device, so at least I can still Communicate with the Outside World, mostly. But I have to bee very Careful - if Nurse Beeatrice finds this thing on me, she’ll for sure Confiscate it.

I just asked her if I could ask somebody to bring me a Comic Book or something, but she just said, “No Visitors - and No Talking, bee.” Then she also told me to stop asking her about anything, and that the sooner I stopped Distracting her, the sooner I’d get outta here. (That’s really a problem, beecause I was just about to ask her where the Bathroom is. I can tell this is gonna get Highly Uncomfortable.)

Ph.Bee, the Hive Doctor, came in on his way to get another Flask of Morning Nectar, and noticed me lying here. He said that I’m in Serious But Marginally Stable Condition, and that if I just bee Quiet and Cooperate, they should have me outta here in 87 Days, maybee sooner. (“It depends on your attitude, bee,” he said. “The sooner you know not to put demands on the Nursing Staff, the sooner this will bee over,” he said. I hafta say - Ph.Bee doesn’t have the greatest Bedside Manner I’ve ever run into.)

Geeeeze. Whoever the hell tells you that beeing in this Clinic is a Healing Experience is lying to you.

Anyway, I just texted ButterCup and told her where I am. “Oh good!” she said. “We’ll make sure you’re enrolled in the Live, Secure Online Video Stream of that Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Seminar! By the time you get out of there, you’ll have finished all 32 hours of the Programme, and you’ll hopefully bee able to walk out of there, probably, with an Official, Framed Certificate that says you’re a more Sensitive and Organised Bee,” she told me. (She and Fleur de Bee seem to want me to attend that thing for some reason, so I guess I don’t have a choice anymore.)

“Fine,” I said.

So that’s what I’m gonna bee doing for awhile.

I hope everybody is Highly Careful out there.

Oh, so there you are. I was wondering where you went. I hope everything’s okay, and if it isn’t, I hope you realise it’s not my fault. I’m just a bee, so it’s not like I have a bunch of control over everything, right?

I’m incredibly glad it’s Monday.
I just love Mondays, don’t you? I thought so.

In a little while, right after I finish just sitting here enjoying the Day So Far, and beefore I start making more Sales Calls for those Marginally Deluxe Murder Hornet Swatters, I’ve decided to take one my Human Beep’s Advice, and pay a Brief and - I’m completely sure Productive - Surprise Visit to my Boss, Narville Snark. The more I sit here and think about it, the more I think she’s Completely Right when she says that he should bee Advertising these things. I mean seriously now...how the hell can I bee expected to sell something that nobody’s ever heard of, for crying out loud?

I can’t, that’s how.

As a matter of fact, I’m gonna buzz over there right now, and tell him that he needs to help me out here. I’m gonna tell him that he needs to start putting his Honey where his Mouthparts are, and start investing in some Creative, Effective, and at least Partially-Honest Advertising, or I just might hafta find myself another Job.
And That is That. I’m completely sure Narville will bee Fair-Minded about this whole thing, and, beeing the Ruthless Entrepreneur he is, he’ll definitely appreciate my Initiative, probably.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

Yeah, so I had to go back to Narville Snark’s Office the other day to deliver my first Sales Report for those Asian Hornet Swatters (you know, those things you can use to swat Asian Hornets). I proudly gave him my first Sales Sheet, but he didn’t seem Overly Pleased for some reason.

“Bee,” he said.

“Yes, I am,” I said.

“Don’t gets cute wit me, Bee. Deese numbers ain’t lookin’ dat great, and dat’s puttin tings mildly-like. I’s Deeply Disappointed in yous Job Puhformance, Bee. Dis won’t do.”

“But I did sell three Swatters,” I told him. “I sold two to the Hive, and one to my Great Grandma Gee Gee, beecause she felt sorry for me, so...”

“So... tree Swatters ain’t enough. Dat means we’s gots ourselves a Serious Problem. Yous was supposed ta sell more dan tree of dose tings. As I tolds yous beefore, dat won’t do. I don’t tink dis Arrangement is Woiking Out.”

Then he started reaching his Wing into his Inside Jacket Pocket, where there was a large Bee-Bee Gun-Shaped Bulge - and we all know what that means. I had to think Highly Fast beefore I got Or Elsed, so I said, “If I may,”.

“If yous may what, bee?” he said.

I wasn’t exactly sure what I was gonna May What, but I knew I didn’t wanna get shot with a Bee-Bee Gun. That would hurt. A lot. After a few seconds of pulling on my Antennae for Inspiration, and stalling for time, I thought of something.

“It’s a problem with Image,” I told him. “Our Would-Bee Customers don’t feel Inspired to buy these Questionably Fine Swatters, beecause they don’t feel all that threatened by something called an ‘Asian Hornet’. When you hear ‘Asian Hornet’, do you feel like you need a Swatter?”

Narville just stared at me and didn’t say anything, so I said, “Neither do I.”

“So, whats does yous suggest, Bee? And dis bettah bee good,” he said.

“I think we should rename your Dubiously Fine Product. We should call it the ‘Marginally Deluxe Murder Hornet Swatter’ - beecause that’s another name for them - ‘Murder Hornets’,” I said. “Who wouldn’t want to have a Marginally Deluxe Murder Hornet Swatter close by when you need one? I would think most everybody would need to buy several of these, probably.”

Then I just stood there, waiting for him to say something.

He didn’t say anything for what seemed a very long time, but just kept staring at me. Then he got a not-all-that-Comforting Smile of his on his face (you know the one), and finally said, “Moider Hornet Swatter? Moider Hornet...Moider Hornet...yeah, I likes dat, bee. I thinks yous is onto sometin.”

Wow did I feel Relieved, especially when Narville pulled his Wing out of his Jacket at pointed it at me (I was amazingly glad it wasn’t holding any sort of Weapon or anything).

“Okay, bee. Yous’s got one, more chance at dis, and da next Sales Report bettah bee good, or...”

“Or Else?” I interrupted him.

“It’s good dat wes understands one anudder,” he said.
“I’ll sees yous back here in One Week, and dese Sales Numbuhs bettah bee bettah.”

Then he said, “Now get outta my Office.”

So I did that. (That guy scares the hell out of me.)

I was glad that Meeting went so well, and felt Highly Relieved that Narville Snark let me leave without tying my Antennae in Knots (or something worse). I was also glad that the Meeting didn’t take long, beecause that gave me more time to grab some Lunch, and make it in plenty of time for the first Session of that Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Seminar ButterCup and Fleur signed me up for. There was absolutely, positively no way I wanted to bee late for that, mostly.

As it turns out, though, I didn’t quite make it to the first Session, beecause I decided that I’d grab something to eat at Lousy Louie’s. I was really Hungry and, as I think everybody knows, Louie makes the best Pollen Burgers anywhere around here. I figured I could eat, then try out my new Sales Pitch to anybody that was there.

When I got to Lousy Louie’s, the place was packed, but I managed to get a Table, then start trying out my new Sales Pitch. Of course, I didn’t sell any Swatters, but my Potential Customers kept buying me Nectartinis to enjoy with my Lunch (“it’s the least we can do, just beecause you seem to bee trying so hard,” they said). After all that, it was everything I could do to just get back home to my ShoeBox and go to sleep, which I did. That Lunch made me feel Highly Tired for some reason. I was way too tired to make it to any Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Seminar, as much as I was looking forward to that. Mostly.

So today, I hafta’ go find out when the next Session is, and make sure I remember not to forget to remind myself to write that on my Calendar, which I need to go find.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

I worry about Zambeezi sometimes.

Anyway, I know everybody’s Highly Curious about how my New Job selling Asian Hornet Swatters to the Hive is going. I’ll tell you: It isn’t.

For the last week or so, I’ve been thoroughly mostly dedicating my Every Waking Hour to selling those things. So far, I’ve sold two. As it turns out, and as I was informed by Mayor Billy Bee, the Hive only needs ONE Asian Hornet Swatter.

“It seems as if your Dubiously Fine Product may prove useful at some point, but we’d need only one, which we’d place strategically at the Entrance to the Hive. So. We’ll take one.”

I knew my boss, Narville Snark, would not bee One Bit Pleased, so I told the Mayor that I’d buy him a Free Nectartini at Lousy Louie’s, so we did that. After we’d had about three of those things, and after I kept going on and on about the Genuine Threat those Asian Hornets pose to the Health and Well-Beeing of the Hive, he finally said, “Jjjjjeaahh, oHkay. We’ll take TWO. We can put the other one at the Back Entrance.” Then he started to sing and laugh uncontrollably. After he threw up I had to take him home.

I worry about Mayor Billy Bee sometimes.

I’m also Massively Worried about how Narville Snark is going to Respond to my Initial Sales Report, which is due tomorrow. I just remember what he did to that guy who was selling Stinger Pluckers for him a few years ago. That wasn’t pretty.

Oh. And I beefore I go do something else beesides this, I should probably tell you that ButterCup and Fleur de Bee (who just got here last week, apparently) are all mad at me. They’re all upset that somehow, I forgot to remind myself to remember to deal with setting up Accommodations for Fleur after she arrived in that Diplomatic Pouch from Paris (she’s here, trying to Recuperate from that Unfortunate Mishap with the Pop Bottle on the French Commuter Train). They say I need to attend an Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Seminar - and seek Long-Term One-on-One Therapy. Geeeeeze. I think they’re over-reacting, but I’m sure it’s beecause Fleur’s Thinking is still Highly Confused, and ButterCup just won’t let that whole Misunderstanding about her Birthday go. Seriously now.

I worry about those two sometimes.

I need to stop worrying so much and start selling more Asian Hornet Swatters - Or Else. I think I hafta get back over to Lousy Louie’s, get my Swatter Sample back from their Lost & Found, strap it on (that’s thing’s amazingly heavy), and start Hitting the Pavement.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

After I finally got it translated, it turns out it was from an associate of Fleur de Bee in Paris. It seems that Fleur had an Unfortunate Mishap after she had accidentally fallen asleep inside a Pop Bottle on the floor of a French Commuter Train, After two and a half hours of rolling around and banging into things, she suffered some fairly Minor Serious Injuries, so I was beeing informed that Fleur would bee arriving inside a First Aid Kit inside a Diplomatic Pouch that would bee arriving here at Midnight on the 24th, that she was coming here to Recuperate, and that I should make arrangements for her Appropriate Secure and Luxurious Accommodations.

So, beefore my next Sales Call, I’m gonna do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

Anyway, when I walked in, he said, “You dat bee?”

“Yes, I am. I’m sure you completely remember me - Georgie A. Bee? I’m here about the Cushy Position with your Questionably Fine Firm,” I said.

“Don’t rings a bell. And don’t gets smart wit me, bee,” he said. “Yous is here due tos da fact dat we needs us a Asian Hornet Swatter Salesbee. It ain’t no ‘Cushy Position’. It’s doity woik, and yous is gonna do it. Or Else.”

“Fine,” I said. “Can I ask... “

“No. Wes will tells you what yous needs to knows and when yous needs to knows it, bee.” (It sounded like he didn’t want me to Argue with him. At all. So I didn’t.)

He told me to report to the Inventory Clerk and pay for my Sample Swatter, told me the Clerk would give me my Benefits Package (that Coupon for the Free Nectartini at Lousy Louies), and then he said, “Now gets outta’ my Office, bee.”

So I did that.

I was so Marginally Excited by the time I got my Asian Hornet Swatter Sample that I’m still mostly shaking. I can’t tell if it’s beecause I get the feeling that Narville Snark (with the help of his Brother, Chaz) might actually hurt me very badly if I screw up, or if it’s from the Sheer Thrill of starting a new Job. Either way, I want to stop shaking. It’s highly uncomfortable.

I think at this point, the best thing to do right now is to buzz over to Great Grandma Gee Gee’s BootBox, and ask her if I can hang out with her until I start feeling like it’s Safe to go out again. Maybee she’ll offer me some Always-Soothing, Amazingly Delicious, and Mostly Nutritious HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™. I can even show her my Swatter and Coupon. I’m sure she’ll bee Highly Pleased to hear that I’m back in the WorkForce.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

I dunno why, but she just kind of glared at me, and said, “You always know JUST what to say, don’t you, Bee?” Then she snatched the Flower out of my Wing and slammed her Cell Door. I don’t know why the hell she did that. I figured she’d at least invite me in for some Honey or something, but she didn’t, so I left.

So when I got back to my ShoeBox, there was an Angry Note from my Editor pinned to my Door.

“Bee: You apparently seem to not take your Job very seriously. You were Absent from the Staff Meeting two weeks ago which we can only take as an Indication that you’re not happy in your Position with this Publication. I am informing you that your Attitude is Unacceptable.

At no time have we, your Current Employer, extended assurances that our Employees will bee happy in their work, nor has that ever been represented as a Condition of your Continuing Employment. You seem to bee functioning under the Misconception that your Search for Personal Gratification and Fulfilment in your Professional Pursuits have anything to do with what is expected of you in this Job. It doesn’t.

I am hereby ordering you to appear in my Office promptly and without delay no later than 9:00 a.m. sometime in the next week, at which time we will bee reviewing your Deficient Job Performance, and you will bee given your next Assignment. Or Else.

- Love,
Your Editor”

Geeeeeeze. I’m not even sure I want to work for that guy anymore. He’s amazingly cranky, and he never seems to remember to pay me. Beesides, I was offered a very cushy Job with Snark Brothers Enterprises, Amalgamated Asian Hornet Eradication Division, selling Asian Hornet Swatters to the Hive. They even offered a Benefits Package (a free Asian Hornet Swatter, and a Coupon for a free Nectartini at Lousy Louie’s, a new Nectartini Bar that just opened up on the other side of the Far Meadow…I’d bee a fool to pass up that Opportunity, probably).

I’m not sure what I’m gonna bee doing, so I need to think about it.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

So I walked in and he said, “Bee, it has come to my Attention that our Publication has been totally Absent during this Very Difficult Time.”

“I noticed that,” I told him, beecause I’d noticed I hadn’t gotten a new Issue of the “Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News” in a very long time.

“I’m glad you did notice,” he said, “beecause I’m putting YOU on Notice that all that is about to change - and you are going to start carrying your Weight around here to make that happen. There is a Production Meeting scheduled for this Friday. You will bee there - or Else.”

Then he told me to get the hell out of his Office, so I did that.

Of course, he never told me HOW I’m supposed to carry my Weight around here. I’m mean seriously now - I need Specifics. Am I supposed to bring back my Insightful, Highly Entertaining Movie Reviews? Does he want me to start making my Brilliant and Informatively Enlightening Observations again? Has he suddenly recognised the crucial need for my “Dear Georgie” Advice Column to return? I suppose he’ll tell me what the hell it is he’s expecting me to Do at the Production Meeting on Friday. (I just hope everybody there wears a MouthPart Mask, ya’ know what I mean? It’s like Great Grandma Gee Gee says, “You can’t bee too careful, Dear.”)

Luckily, that gives me today, tomorrow, and the next day to finish watching the Newly-Released Re-Runs of my favourite Action-Adventure-Law-and-Order Crime Documentary, “Hive Patrol”.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

So I got another Buzz•O•Gram™ from ButterCup. I dunno why she’s still holding that silly Grudge over that Birthday Thing. Seriously now. It’s not like I can go back in Time and make her Birthday any more Festive than it probably wasn’t, ya’ know? Beesides, beefore this whole Contagion Thing showed up, I’d sent my Time Machine out to bee Detailed and have the batteries replaced, but I’m hoping they’ll finally bee able to finish that up and deliver it to me early last week, but I’m not holding my breath.

But it is good to hear that my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, is doing okay, and that the Authorities in Kansas are finally doing something about Gladys HoneyWings and her Inconsiderate Habit of hugging everybody all the time and ignoring the Rules about keeping at least 15.72” away from everybody else until this Contagion is over. I wonder if she’s even wearing a Mouthpart Mask. Probably not.

Anyway, I really should try to figure out how to do one of those Video Chats so I can find out what’s actually going on with everybody - Or Else - but I’ve been very buzzy watching my Stories. As it turns out, Lance turned down that Lucrative Position he was offered, and told Alexandria that he’s just been in it for the laughs. I don’t know why he said that, since it doesn’t seem to me that Alexandria is laughing all that much about the whole thing, but as far as I’m concerned, that’s fine since after what she did to Courtney at her Coming Out Party, she kind of deserves what she gets. In the meantime, Lance has started over-indulging in Nectartinis, which, if you ask me, is Highly Irresponsible of him…but as we all know, there’s no talking to Lance, so I wouldn’t bee at all surprised that he has to go into Rehab in the next Episode, which starts in about ten minutes.

So I’m gonna go watch that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

Yeah, so I’m still in Quarantine - ya’ know, beecause of that Vicious Contagion that’s still going around - and all I've been doing for the past week or so is spending a lot of time pretty much minding my own Buzziness, whatever that is.

I haven’t heard anything more from ButterCup about that whole Misunderstanding about her Birthday, so I’m pretty sure she’s forgotten all about my not remembering to remind myself not to forget that, so that’s a Huge Relief.

And I also haven’t heard anything more from my Illegitimate Nephew (Kevin) about what’s going on in Salina, Kansas with him and Alice and Howard Primsdale and that whole mess with Gladys HoneyWings violating the Keep Your Personal Distancing Rule (which, as far as I know, is still 15.72”). The last I heard was that she was still running around giving everybody Socially Unacceptable Hugs, but that she was starting to catch the Unwanted Attention of the Local Enforcement Swarm - which is never a good thing. Maybee later, I’ll see if Kevin’s signed up for that new VideoVisit App and find out what’s going on out there. Of course, I will have to comb my fuzz and straighten my Antennae. I sure the hell don’t wanna bee on Camera looking like this, if you know what I mean.

Anyway.

I do hafta say that I’m Highly Bored, and I’m mostly sick of having to wear this Amazingly Uncomfortable “I Visited Narka, Kansas, and all I got was this lousy MouthPart Mask” MouthPart Mask all the time. It’s hot and stuffy and hard to breathe in that thing and makes me wish I hadn’t eaten all those Roasted Garlic Pollen Puffs; however, as Mayor Billy Bee recently Mandated in his Amended Royally-Certified “Stay Inside the Dam Hive” Decree, everybody has to wear a MouthPart Mask ALL the time - even if we’re alone - Or Else. (He’s starting to sound like my Editor, if you wanna know my Opinion.) I don’t wanna bee Or Elsed, so I’m wearing the Dam Thing all the time - even when I’m just sitting in my ShoeBox all by myself, watching another Episode of my Stories (which, right now, is Season 487 of “As The Hive Turns”, and I dunno if you’ve been watching that, but I’m pretty sure that Brazen Hussy, Alexandria, is trying to talk Lance into marrying her, but if he’s half as smart as he thinks he is, he’ll get the hell away from her and finally go back to his Previously-Estranged Soul-Mate and accept that Lucrative Position in the Family Buzziness that his highly Nasty-Tempered Great Cousin offered him two years ago, but I think Lance is overly Smitten with Alexandria, so you know what they say…). Luckily, we won’t have to wait long to probably find out what happens next, since the next Episode starts in about five minutes

So I’m gonna go watch that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.

ButterCup is apparently upset with me. She accused me of forgetting her Birthday last month. For the record, I didn’t forget - I simply failed to remind myself to remember, which, if you ask me, isn’t forgetting. But hey, I’ve been highly buzzy - mostly reading angry Buzz•O•Grams™.

Just for the record, I really don’t like it when ButterCup is mad at me. It’s uncomfortable. But is it MY fault she’s still staying with her Sister, Tweak, and that she hasn’t been here to celebrate her Birthday? No, it isn’t. She made her choices, didn’t she? Yes, she did.

Oh sure, I suppose I could have mailed her a HoneyCake for her Birthday, but in the face of this Contagion and Mayor Billy Bee’s Royally-Sanctioned “Stay In The Dam Hive” Decree, I didn’t want to bee arrested. Again. Beesides, thanks to this Contagion, HoneyCakes’R’Us is still closed, and the last time I tried to make a HoneyCake, I accidentally left it out in the Park, it rained, the icing melted, and quite frankly, I’ll never have that recipe again. I lost it.

We’re just gonna hafta celebrate her Birthday next year.

But even worse than all that, one of the Buzz•O•Grams™ was an Official Notification from the Central Hive’s Bureau of Imminent Threats, informing me that there’s some sort of Hornet that’s decided to move here. I don’t have any problem with Immigration at all, but these guys sound really nasty. Rumour has it they like to rent cells in Beehives, then turn around and rip the heads off of us bees.

How rude is that? Seriously now.

Anyway, for now, I’m gonna stay inside my ShoeBox, and just try to keep my head.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

What?
What day is it?

Sorry, I must’ve dozed off there for a minute. For a day or two for awhile or so, I thought that the new Warm Season had actually arrived. I mean, the Flowers were starting to bloom. The bushes were starting to change colours again. I even had to chase away a very beeligerent Hummingbird who tried to built a nest in my ShoeBox (how rude is that?).

But then gradually all of a sudden, it got highly windy and cold out, and it started snowing - A LOT. I mean, there was a WHOLE bunch of snow, which made me think, “What the hell?”

For awhile, to stay warm, I wrapped myself in my wee, bee Blanket, and Binge-Watched old Submarine Movies on BeeFlix (I love old Submarine Movies, as you know). But after I finished watching all of those, about all there was left to do was to sit around and play Online Duel Solitaire with some bee who’s in Quarantine somewhere around Beemidji, Minnesota (he said it was cold there, too…whatever…it’s SUPPOSED to bee cold there…it’s Minnesota, for cryin’ out loud). But that beecame incredibly Boring (plus, I just kept losing, which, if you ask me, is not fun, at all), so I guessed I dozed off there for a minute. It happens. Still, I wonder what I’ve slept through…

Wait a second. What’s this? It looks like there’s a pile of Buzz•O•Grams™ somebody slid under my Door. I should probably find out what those are all about.

So I’m going to go do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

Anyway, the Online Chats I’ve had with Kevin so far haven’t really helped much to make things less boring around here. He told me that he and the Primsdales have just been spending all their time trying to stay at least 15.72” away from each other, but that a couple of weeks ago, Gladys HoneyWings decided to show up, and she’s been a real Problem.

“What’s that all about?” I asked him.

“Well,” he said, “you know how Gladys just loves to hug everybody, right?”

“Right,” I said, “Everybody knows about Gladys.”

“Ever since she got here, she’s been totally ignoring the Personal Space Protection Proclamation, and is going around hugging everybody. Can you even beelieve that?” he told me.

“Well, I…” I was going to say I could beelieve that, beecause everybody knows about how Gladys is about giving hugs, whether anybody wanted one or not, but Kevin interrupted me.

“Every, single time anybody ever runs into Gladys, she rushes over, violates their Personal Space, and gives them a Giant Hug. I mean seriously now, uncle, how Irresponsible is that?”

“Why don’t you just ask her to stop doing that?” I asked him.

“We have,” he said, “but she merely smiles and says, ‘Well, it’s times like these when everybody’s all nervous about things that they need Hugs the most,’ and keeps doing it. There’s just no talking to her. She’s downright Toxic.”

Kevin was starting to tell me about the plan he was working on to stop Gladys’ Inappropriately Toxic Beehaviour when he had to sign off to go eat lunch.

“We’re having Alice’s LimeHoneyPollen Salad - again. It’s just the worst.” And that was the end of that conversation.

So for the moment, I don’t have anything else to do around here except to keep doing a bunch of Warm Season Cleaning. Maybee if I’m lucky, I’ll find a clean pair of socks.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

As we all know, Kevin is currently and temporarily staying with Howard and Alice Primsdale in Salina, Kansas during this whole Contamination Crisis, so it’s nice to know he got there safely…though I gotta’ say that I don’t know what all this stuff about Gladys HoneyWings is all about, ya know? Why is she even there? Whatever it is, it doesn’t sound good, does it? I need to find out what the hell is going on out there.

So I’m gonna do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

“It’s less safe than ever to fly, so we’re just not gonna do it,” he said in an interview.

Not wanting to be stuck here, in case things get really bad, I called his Airway Reservation Line, and some Worker Bee answered. “WTF?” she said.

“Yes,” I said. “Might it bee possible for me to arrange for a ticket for a Non-Stop Flight to Narka, Kansas, beefore you cease Operations?” (I’m pretty sure Narka is a safe place to bee, at least for now, though I’m not entirely sure they’re going to keep the Tours of the Egg Candling Factory open, which would bee heavily disappointing.)

“No,” she said, “and please don’t call again.” Then she hung up on me.

Geeeeeeeeeze. The idea of having to fly to Narka, Kansas under my own Wing Power absolutely doesn’t appeal to me, so I’ve decided to just stay right here in my ShoeBox (though I might buzz over to Great Grandma Gee Gee’s BootBox to see if I can snag a Large Supply of her delicious (and mostly nutritious) Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™. I still haven’t had Breakfast, so I hope she has some she can give me.

So that’s what I’m gonna do.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

“First, uncle,” he said, “I would appreciate it very much if you would not only watch your Language, but that you also kindly back up about ten wing-lengths, if you don’t mind. You’re the best uncle in the world, and I love you, but you’re standing WAY too close to me.”

“Fine, but why?” I asked as I backed up.

“Well,” Kevin said, “it appears our community has been stricken with some sort of Highly Contagious and Potentially Unpleasant Ailment, which has made indulging hanging out in a Swarm a really bad idea. Mayor Billy Bee, acting under the Authority of Her Insufferable Majesty, the Queen, and in concert with Hive Council on Grave Health Concerns, issued a Hive-Wide Advisory that we all must actively avoid each other to minimise the Risk of this thing making everybody sick. That means no Swarming, and no Book Club Meetings.”

“Oh geeeeze,” I said. “What are the Symptoms of this thing?”

“They’re not pretty, uncle. The earliest signs of Infection are that your Fuzz turns green, then it all falls out. Then your Antenna go limp,” Kevin said.

“That sounds Highly Unpleasant,” I said.

“It is,” Kevin said. “And that’s why Mayor Billy Bee told everybody they had to Keep their Distance from each other. Of course, since it’s impossible to pull that off inside a crowded Hive, everybody grabbed as much Honey and Pollen as they could, and left. That’s also where all your Honey and Food went. Fernando, a close Associate and Mostly Cordial Acquaintance of mine, knew you were asleep, and took all your stuff.”

“So where did he take it?!?” I asked.

“I would venture to guess that Fernando took it to his Hide-Away,” Kevin told me.

“So where’s Fernando’s Hide-Away?” I asked him.

“If I knew that, uncle, it wouldn’t bee a Hide-Away, now would it?”

“Fine,” I said. Then I asked, “So are you telling me that everybody in the Hive left?”

“Yes,” Kevin said.

“Where did they all go?” I had to know.

“Different places. I think Fleur de Bee went back to Paris - not that it’s any better there, and BigFoot is hiding out in the library, which makes sense. ButterCup went to live with her sister, Tweak (those two already keep their distance, so that works for them), Rudy went to stay at a friend’s place in Soho while the friend is out of town, and anybody else who didn’t know where to go just followed the Queen to where-ever she went to. Typical.”

I asked him if Great Grandma Gee Gee was also going to move out of the Boot Box, also, but he said, “No. She’s staying. She says the world is depending on her continuing to provide an ample supply her delicious and mostly nutritious Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™, so she feels an obligation to stay. But she says she’ll only be taking orders Online, so . . . . Anyway, I need to go now.”

I wondered where Kevin was planning to go, so I had to ask, “Where are you going?”, I asked.

“Oh, I thought I’d fly east and spend some time with the Primsdales. They have a nice, room Guest Room at their place in Salina, Kansas, so I’ll bee staying with them until this whole mess is over.”

“The Primsdales?”

“Yes. You remember them, right? They were contestants on that Game Show last year.”

“Oh yeah, right. They seemed like a nice couple,” I said.

“It doesn’t matter if they’re particularly nice or not, uncle. They’ve got a Surplus of Space in Kansas, so that’s where I’m going. Bye now.”

With that, he picked up his Sack (the same one he showed up with all those years ago), waved at me, and left.

You know, I’d leave also, as well, but I don’t live with anybody, so I might as well stay in my ShoeBox.

In the meantime, I think I’ll think about paying a visit to the Hive and see if there’s any Honey or Pollen left in there. I really need some Breakfast already. I'm starving.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there.

I walked over to Bert and and asked him what the hell he was doing in my Living Room, and why he was just staring at me. As I got closer, I saw that he was Asleep, so I hit his On Button. He started to make Whirring and Buzzing noises, then he lifted up one of those metallic wings of his, and said, “I must request that you approach me no closer, and that you promptly cease to violate my Personal Space by increasing the distance between us by a minimum of 15.72 Inches. Or Else. Thank you for your Compliance.”

So I did that. (When I thought about it, I probably did have terrible Morning Mouth after mostly beeing asleep for the last, few months, ya’ know? And I also couldn’t find my tube of SparklyFace Mint MouthPart Paste, so I hadn’t brushed yet.)

“Do I need a breath mint?” I asked him, not that I had one of those any more than I had a bunch of Honey anymore.

“A breath mint,” Bert said, “is not required. My Request is based on the fact that, until Further Notice, a minimum of 15.72 Inches beetween our Respective Personal Spaces must bee maintained at All Times, as Mandated by Royal Proclamation Number 80645387-A which was implemented as a Measure to Minimize the Potential for Unintended Transmission of a Now-Present and Highly Unique Contagion sweeping through the Hive. Thank you for your Compliance.”

So I did that.

Then he said, “The Local Time is precisely 16:08:00 hours in 3...2...1 seconds. The Outdoor Temperature Reading is a balmy 269.817 Degrees Kelvin. Have a nice day.”

“Wait,” I said to him, “A Highly Unique Contagion? Like a Germ or something? And do you by any chance know what might have happened to all my Morning Nectar and Honey and Pollen Puffs?”

“Yes, and no,” Bert said.

“What?” I asked.

“Yes, the Contagion is like a Germ, and no, I am not aware of what happened to your Food Supplies,” Bert said.

I was most worried about my Honey and stuff, and since I’m feeling just fine, mostly, I was sure I haven’t caught whatever this Contagion might bee, probably, but I was sure Bert had to have seen SOMETHING, so I asked him again,“Then who does? I wanna know. You’ve apparently been sitting here for awhile now, right?”

“Correct,” Bert said.

“So you must have seen something, right?”

“Possibly,” Bert said.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean ‘Possibly’ ?” I asked him politely.

“My sensors indicate that, immediately prior to my Temporary DeActivation, an individual identified as ‘Fernando’, a known associate of your Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, had entered these premises. Should you require additional Profile Data on this individual, I advise you to consult with Kevin.”

“Fine,” I said.

“The Local Time is precisely 16:10 and 32 seconds in 3…2…1. The Outdoor Temperature Reading is holding steady at a balmy 269.817 Degrees Kelvin. Have a nice day,” Bert said, then he went into Low Power Mode and just kind of hummed (his Batteries must bee running down…which reminds me…I also need to get some Batteries).

Geeeeeze. This is just great. I still haven’t had a chance to talk to Kevin - and it’s still too dam cold out to even think about going anywhere, so now I hafta wait until it warms up enough to let me buzz over to talk to him about this Fernando guy. Seriously now. I’m getting Highly Hungry. Hopefully, I’ll find out what in the hell happened to all my honey and stuff - and maybee even finally bee able to have some breakfast.

And that’s exactly what I’m gonna do…just as soon as it warms up.

Let’s all bee Highly Safe out there.

I'm awake? Why the hell am I awake?!?? I was supposed to still bee asleep at least until the new Warm Season got here, for cryin' out loud.

Where is my Morning Nectar? Where is my stash of HoneyFlake Cereal?

And where is the hell is all my Honey???

What the actual hell is going on around here???