Georgie reviews "POLTERGEIST"

This week, I will bee reviewing that Classic Human Comedy Film, “Poltergeist”.

POLTERGEIST_graphics_9.11.2015

SPOILER ALERT: If you haven’t seen this movie and if you don’t wanna know how it ends, stop reading now!

“Poltergeist” is a movie about a family that run into one zany problem after another while just trying to enjoy some quality time together.

Somebody called right after I started watching this, so I missed the first part, but when I got back to it, we see that it’s late at night. The youngest Human girl is watching a horrible show on TV (it was just static). Something comes out of the screen and the little girl says, “They’re here.” Of course, we don’t know who “they” are at first, but as the movie continues, it turns out that “they” are evidently some uninvited guests who think it would bee fun to start a rousing game of “Hide and Go Seek” with the family. They start with the little girl.

They hide the kid somewhere so nobody knows where she is and, by the time everybody wakes up to play the game, they can’t find her. But, in a hilariously unexpected twist, everybody can still hear her. They think her voice is coming from the TV, but again, that was just one of the knee-slappers offered up in this movie. (It’s ridiculous to think you can hide in a TV. Only actors specifically hired to be in TV shows can fit inside one of those things. And trust me, that kid was no actor.)

The family keeps looking around everywhere (which is what you’re supposed to do in “Hide and Go Seek”, in case you’ve never played that game), but still can’t find the kid. They can only hear her voice coming from Channel 7 or something. (When it comes a game of “Hide and Go Seek”, that kid was obviously equipped with some sophisticated, high-tech sound equipment. And she knew how to use it. She’s good. She’s real good.)

At one point, the Director interrupts the game with a truly hilarious scene. During a big storm, a tree tries to eat one of the other small Humans. The kid gets saved by his Daddy just as a tornado sweeps in and sucks the tree out of the ground and carries it away. I’m not sure that scene could have been any funnier. When the tree reaches into the kid’s window to grab him and starts stuffing him down its throat, that was slap-stick comedy at its best.

Even with this scene thrown in, we find out that the game of “Hide and Go Seek” the family’s playing just keeps going, even into the next day. They still can’t find the kid, so they bring in a bunch of people to join in and help find her.

After the Team joins in the fun, there are more whacky Special Effects and things get hilariously out of control. After awhile, they figure they’re not gonna bee able to find the kid, so they bring in another “Hide and Go Seek” Specialist - a short lady with glasses and an attitude who convinces them she can help find the kid and bring this insufferably long game to an end.

I must interject here: I loved the Human who played the role of the Specialist. She very much reminded me of my Auntie Cornelia. (I think it was the glasses.)

After a bunch of talking and stuff, and in one of the great, comic moments of the film, the Specialist manages to convince the Mama that what she really should do is to go get a rope, tie it around herself and go jump into the closet. And get this: the Mama does it. Of course, the Daddy is holding on to the other end of the rope, in case she slips or something, so she says, “Don’t let go!” But he does.

I was laughing so hard, I thought I was gonna blow up.

While the Mama was inside the closet, the Specialist kept saying stuff like, “Go into the light. Come, my children. Go into the light, there is safety in the light,” etc., proving that she knew all along that the kid was hiding in a dark place. I’m thinking she was inside the refrigerator (I have my reasons).

This is where the Special Effects team really shined. We’re treated to a scene in which the Mama finally wins the game of “Hide and Go Seek” and brings the kid back - get this: THROUGH THE CEILING in a COMPLETELY OTHER ROOM. And they’re both are all covered in Red Jell-O. (That’s why I figure the kid was hiding in the refrigerator the whole time.)

Okay, so the Specialist figures that, since the game is over, She might as well leave. So she does that, but beefore she goes, she says, “This house is clean.”

Honestly, I almost died laughing when I heard that.
It was just too much. At no time did I see her pick up a dust cloth or vacuum - or even do the dishes, so the whole idea that she’d cleaned the house was simply genius. And beelieve me: that place was a mess.

At that point, the family basically says, “Let’s leave already and let somebody else deal with this.”

So they get ready to do that.

I thought the movie was over at that point, so I went to the bathroom. I got back just in time to see that the family was just driving away from their messy house when the whole place lights up super bright, folds up like a piece of Origami, shrinks down to the size of a pea and disappears with a moaning sound.

I didn’t think I’d ever stop laughing. I even had to put the movie on “pause” just to try to catch my breath.

There are comic gems like that buried throughout this movie, so for sure I wanna watch it again so I can see the parts I missed.

At the end of the movie, the Director decides to throw everything he’s got at us. He shows the family checking into a motel, where the Daddy throws the TV out of the room. In the rain, no less.

As we all know, truly great comedy has a touch of tragedy. In this case, it’s the rain-soaked TV. This element of the tragically inappropriate treatment of an innocent TV set - juxtaposed against the backdrop of the hilarity of the film’s premise - was nothing short of comic genius.

I honestly can’t remember laughing so much during a movie. There were times I could barely see the screen or hear the dialogue, I was laughing so hard. And that final, “Blame it on TV” scene was - dare I say it again? - comic genius. I would highly recommend this film to anybody who may bee looking for a never-to-bee forgotten comedy viewing experience.

MY VERDICT: It’s GREAT!!!!

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