Georgie discusses his 50th Birthday Party, and the HIVE has a NEW QUEEN...
So as it turns out, and as I was just Informed, Lousy Louie's has some Competition for the Hive's Marginally Fine Dining buzziness. Just two dumpsters past that abandoned Post Office Mail-Drop box that's just next to the Convenience Store (you know the one), and about six trees to the left of that you'll find the newest Dining and Beverage Service Establishment serving the Bee Society and Surrounding Hives, Shady Sam's Syrup and Snack Factory.
Now, beefore you start asking a bunch of Unnecessary Questions, let me explain the reason I even Mention this.
It’s beecause it has everything to do with my 50th Birthday Surprise Party that I was completely almost certain was supposed to bee at Felonie Snark's place, Lousy Louie’s Pollen Grill and Nectar Bar. Amazingly enough, and as Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew and Felonie's Estranged Step-Brother) finally Informed me, the Surprise Party was NOT held at Lousy Louie's. It was held at Shady Sam's.
Who knew? (I guess everybody at the Party did, except me.)
Kevin told me it was a great Party, but of course, they didn't tell me about when it was happening beecause, after all, it was a Surprise Party and how in the hell could I possibly bee Surprised if I knew there was going to bee the Surprise Party I wasn't supposed to Expect?
I couldn't bee.
So I was relieved to hear that my 50th Birthday WAS Celebrated. I just wasn't invited.
I feel much better about the whole thing, mostly.
Of course, I did ask Kevin whether or not they didn't have the Party at Lousy Louie's beecause the Energy would bee too Awkward beetween him and his Estranged Step-Sister, Felonie. He just kind of stared at me for awhile, then said, "No."
Far bee to from me to Indulge in Idle Gossip, so I won't get into what's been happening beetween those two over the past few weeks just now - that's a story for another week, but Trust me when I say there are a LOT of highly Good Reasons Kevin would want to avoid Felonie, and Viza Verza - which means, if you don't speak Bee Latin, that Felonie for sure wants to avoid Kevin also, as well. I'm pretty sure we'd all feel exactly the same if we were in their Position, wouldn't we?
In the meantime, I don't know if you Noticed, but the New Hot Season has arrived. That means a couple of things...
- It's getting Hot, so I plan to spend a great deal of time staying Cool inside my Strategically-Ventilated Air-Cooled ShoeBox relaxing in my Buzzolounge Padded Recliner Combination Swivel-Rocker and Day Bed and streaming my Stories,
which means they'll bee keeping everybody awake
at night with all their Chirping, and how
annoying is that? I’d say Very.
Speaking of annoying ... you may or may not have Heard that the Hive has a new Queen: Her Insufferable Royal Highness, Her MADjusty, Queen Karen.
I haven't had the Dubious Honour of meeting her yet, but I've heard she complains a lot. Which also Reminds me - I got a Semi-Urgent Buzz•O•Gram™ from my Editor informing me that he expects me to represent the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News at a Royal Reception for the new Queen that's scheduled for two weeks from yesterday which means I have to get Fitted for the Obligatory Rental Formal Wear.
So I'm gonna go do that.
Georgie's Highly Disappointed...
So ever since I "celebrated" my 50th Birthday, I've been doing a lot of incredibly serious thinking about Observance of Special Days and how Rude it is to fail to Observe them (for us bees, that means inviting the entire Swarm to a Huge Party and celebrating with a Festive Assortment of Foods and Beverages, and possibly Balloons, even though those are beecoming harder to get ever since the Bee Balloon and Aerial Flotation Device Emporium have been back-ordered on Balloons for about the last year and a half ... they've had to resort to selling Drones, which I can tell you, the Drones don't appreciate one bit), and it occurred to me that so far this year, no one has not failed to not mention that there was or wasn't a Celebration for this year's Half-Full Coke Can Day, Nectar Fizz Day, Pollen Appreciation Day, or for that matter National Honeybee Day, which there wasn't.
What the hell is that all about?
We don't Celebrate things anymore?
That question has really been Nagging at me ever since I showed up to my Surprise 50th Birthday Party that I was completely and totally Confident was beeing held at what USED to bee Lousy Louie's and has now been renamed "Lousy Louie's Pollen Grill and Nectar Bar", though I'll still just call it Lousy Louie's anyway, even if Felonie Snark doesn't like it. I'm sure you already know Felonie took over the place awhile ago, and quite frankly, it has just never been the same since. But then, nothing is anymore, is it? And at this point, I just want to say that if you didn't make it to my 50th Birthday Celebration, don't feel ashamed - there wasn't one, as I mentioned beefore. Or did I mention that?
I showed up at Lousy Louie's and expected to see a whole bunch of Birthday Decorations. But is that what I saw? No, it wasn't.
There weren't even any Decorations or apparently accessible Birthday Party Hats.
I was also sure that I'd walk in and everybody would jump up and buzz, "HAPPPPPY BIRTHDAY, GEORGIE", but did they? No. No they did not.
In fact, the place was basically empty. Great Grandma Gee Gee wasn’t there. Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) wasn’t there. Fluer de Bee wasn’t there (she’s probably still in France), and my Beeloved Girlfriend, ButterCup wasn’t there. Nobody I knew was there except for maybee the Waiters, and even they were off taking Honey Breaks. I couldn't even find anybody to take my Order for a Refreshing and Delicious Hopefully Complementary Birthday Beverage after I seated myself in what used to bee my Favourite Booth, the J.W. Booth that's closest to the Bathroom. And how disappointing was that? It was beeyond aggravating.
Speaking of Bathrooms, I will return Shortly to finish what I’m in the Middle of telling you all about, but I really need to Go, if you know what I mean.
So I’m gonna go do that.
PS: Happy New Hot Season! We should Celebrate!
Georgie Turns 50 Years Old Tomorrow!
Oh, hello. Where the hell have you been?
Never mind - doesn’t matter. I’ve been too buzzy to spend a whole bunch of time Socialising. That’s a long story which will have to wait for another Day. In the meantime…
DID YOU KNOW that TOMORROW is my Birthday! It is.
Tomorrow, I will bee turning 50. The Big Five-Oh.
And Correct me if I’m wrong, or don’t, but that absolutely, positively, beeyond any shadow of any doubt whatsoever makes Me the Oldest Honeybee in Existence, probably.
I’m going to bee Highly Disappointed if the Hive doesn’t Surprise me with a Surprise Party tomorrow, then again, I don’t really like Surprises, so I need to make sure I’m not going to bee Disappointed tomorrow.
So I’m gonna go do that.
Well here we are again...
Well okay then. I’m glad I got THAT taken care of.
So where were we? Oh yeah, I mostly remember, though there are times when I forget to remind myself to remember stuff, then I forget it, so I’ll start from there.
As we all know, Her Insufferable Majestically Royal Highness really made a mess of things in the Hive (and there are still some bees Missing), but she really crossed the Line when she started cutting deals with those Murder Hornets from Seattle. That made everybody incredibly Mad - and I’m sure you know what they say about a Bee that’s Mad. You don’t want to mess with us.
To make an overly-long story Significantly Shorter, I’ll just tell you this:
After I smuggled in those Murder Hornet Swatters, Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) used them to take the Murder Hornets Down in a brilliantly-planned Pre-Dawn Attack (most people don’t know it, but Murder Hornets are very Sound Sleepers). Then the Hive all came together in a Huge Swarm and Dealt with Krunch McCowskey, Queen Darla’s Enforcer, then moved on to deal with Queen Darla.
Let me just say - it wasn’t very Pretty, So Krunch and Queen Darla are both Gone. They went to that Big Hive in the Sky. They are No More. They’ve been Black-Balled, so to speak. They’re both Deceased.
And as for Chaz and Narville Snark - who had more than a lot to do with what was happening in the Hive - they were Arrested on Suspicion of Confirmed Criminal Larceny and for Having an Increasingly Bad Reputation in the 1st Degree. As we all know, if you’re Convicted - which the Snarks were - the Optional Mandatory Minimum Sentence is 15-to-Life in a Maximum Security Cell of their choosing (that’s where the Optional part comes in, which makes perfect sense when you think about it), so that’s where the Snarks are: they’re in Custody. They’re in Lock-Up, They’re beehind Bars. They’re in Jail, pending Appeal.
So that’s pretty exciting, isn’t it? I think so.
So now, you’re probably Wondering now what the Status of the Hive is, aren’t you? So am I. And I’m more than Curious (I’ve been too Buzzy taking care of that other thing I had do I have to tell you that took a Huge amount of my Time and Energy to Deal with it, so I’m glad I’ll have a chance to check things out over there) about just what the hell is going on over there. I need to Know so I can tell you All About It, or at least most of All About It.
So I’m gonna go do that.