An Escape Plan . . .

OrderlyBeeson


Beefore I say anything else, I wanna thank Orderly Beeson for sneaking my Device back to me after Nurse Beeatrice found it and took it away. (She’s highly rude.) I also wanna thank him for slipping enough Nectar and Honey to keep me alive, mostly. It was Touch And Go there for awhile. In the meantime, I’m still stuck in this Bed, but at least I can communicate with the Outside World again. Kind of.

Today, when Nurse Beeatrice is on her Break (she takes a Break for 53 minutes every hour, ya know, which is a Huge Problem for the other 87 bees stuck here ... I still don’t know how she got the Job ... seriously now), I’m gonna get in touch with my Lawyer, S.O.Bee again, and see if he’ll finally exert some Influence to get me outta this place. I know that he and Mayor Billy Bee are good friends, and we all know that the Mayor has a lot of Pull with the Queen, so I’m gonna ask S.O.Bee to file a Writ of Biomedical Distress and Request for Immediate Discharge with the Royal Court - as soon as Possible. After that, the only thing I can do is to try to keep Surviving, and Wait.

So I’m gonna do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.

GeorgieBee Signature

Georgie feels Trapped...

I hafta say...I despise Nurse Beeatrice. She’s been totally ignoring me while I’ve been stuck in this Bed for way too long already, and every time I try to ask her anything she says, “I’ll bee with you in a Moment.”

NurseBeeatrice&Georgie


“Could you bring me some Nectar? I’m highly Thirsty,” I asked her yesterday.
“I’ll bee with you in a Moment,” she said.
I still haven’t gotten any Nectar.

Two days ago, I asked her, “I’m dangerously hungry. Can I have some Honey?”
“I don’t know,” she said, “CAN you?”
So I said, “MAY I have some Honey?”
And she said, “That’s better. I’ll bee with you in a Moment.”
I also haven’t gotten any Honey. I’m starving.

Geeeeeeeze. How did she even get this job?

I gotta’ get outta here, but I’m stuck, and the only thing I can do is to lie here and keep watching that Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Mostly-Live Streaming Seminar. I’m on Hour 29, Part 54, Section 8, Part 17, Chapter 2, Sub-Section Bee - and it’s not getting even slightly more Interesting. I’m not sure if I have it in me to finish the 3 hours and 33 parts left in this thing. It’s incredibly Boring…not that there’s anything else to do while I’m just lying here. There isn’t.

Seriously now, I gotta get outta here. These bandages are itching like crazy, and beesides beeing Hungry and Thirsty, I really need to go to the Bathroom in a Big Way. And for what it’s worth, I’m more than Completely Sure that I’m Thoroughly Healed Up after that Highly Unpleasant Or Else-ing I got from the Snark Brothers, mostly. I should bee able to leave now.

I wonder if Orderly Beeson might consider helping me out here. Maybee he could help me get in touch with my lawyer, S.O.Bee, and maybee he could help me get the hell outta here already. At this point, I’m pretty sure my Rights are beeing Violated and is that Acceptable? No, it isn’t.

I’m pretty sure his shift starts sometime on Saturday, so I guess I’ll just hafta’ wait.

So I’m gonna do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.

GeorgieBee Signature

Georgie's Meeting with Narville Snark didn't go so well...

HospitalGeorgie


Well, I guess going to Narville Snark with some Advice was a Highly Bad Idea. Narville didn’t Respond Well at all to my Suggestions. I won’t get into the Details (which I don’t remember Completely Clearly, mostly), but I will say that Nobody Or Else’s anybody as thoroughly as the Snark Brothers.

I don’t like beeing Or Elsed. It hurts. A lot.

So now, I’m stuck in the Hive Clinic and hafta put up with Nurse Beeatrice. Luckily, Orderly Beeson is still here, so he was kind enough to sneak in my Device, so at least I can still Communicate with the Outside World, mostly. But I have to bee very Careful - if Nurse Beeatrice finds this thing on me, she’ll for sure Confiscate it.

I just asked her if I could ask somebody to bring me a Comic Book or something, but she just said, “No Visitors - and No Talking, bee.” Then she also told me to stop asking her about anything, and that the sooner I stopped Distracting her, the sooner I’d get outta here. (That’s really a problem, beecause I was just about to ask her where the Bathroom is. I can tell this is gonna get Highly Uncomfortable.)

Ph.Bee, the Hive Doctor, came in on his way to get another Flask of Morning Nectar, and noticed me lying here. He said that I’m in Serious But Marginally Stable Condition, and that if I just bee Quiet and Cooperate, they should have me outta here in 87 Days, maybee sooner. (“It depends on your attitude, bee,” he said. “The sooner you know not to put demands on the Nursing Staff, the sooner this will bee over,” he said. I hafta say - Ph.Bee doesn’t have the greatest Bedside Manner I’ve ever run into.)

Geeeeze. Whoever the hell tells you that beeing in this Clinic is a Healing Experience is lying to you.

Anyway, I just texted ButterCup and told her where I am. “Oh good!” she said. “We’ll make sure you’re enrolled in the Live, Secure Online Video Stream of that
Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Seminar! By the time you get out of there, you’ll have finished all 32 hours of the Programme, and you’ll hopefully bee able to walk out of there, probably, with an Official, Framed Certificate that says you’re a more Sensitive and Organised Bee,” she told me. (She and Fleur de Bee seem to want me to attend that thing for some reason, so I guess I don’t have a choice anymore.)

“Fine,” I said.

So that’s what I’m gonna bee doing for awhile.

I hope everybody is Highly Careful out there.

GeorgieBee Signature

A Beep gives Georgie some Advice...

GeorgieChilling_1


Oh, so there you are. I was wondering where you went. I hope everything’s okay, and if it isn’t, I hope you realise it’s not my fault. I’m just a bee, so it’s not like I have a bunch of control over everything, right?

I’m incredibly glad it’s Monday.
I just love Mondays, don’t you? I thought so.

In a little while, right after I finish just sitting here enjoying the Day So Far, and beefore I start making more Sales Calls for those Marginally Deluxe Murder Hornet Swatters, I’ve decided to take one my Human Beep’s Advice, and pay a Brief and - I’m completely sure Productive - Surprise Visit to my Boss, Narville Snark. The more I sit here and think about it, the more I think she’s Completely Right when she says that he should bee Advertising these things. I mean seriously now...how the hell can I bee expected to sell something that nobody’s ever heard of, for crying out loud?

I can’t, that’s how.

As a matter of fact, I’m gonna buzz over there right now, and tell him that he needs to help me out here. I’m gonna tell him that he needs to start putting his Honey where his Mouthparts are, and start investing in some Creative, Effective, and at least Partially-Honest Advertising, or I just might hafta find myself another Job.
And That is That. I’m completely sure Narville will bee Fair-Minded about this whole thing, and, beeing the Ruthless Entrepreneur he is, he’ll definitely appreciate my Initiative, probably.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature

Georgie's first Sales Report doesn't go all that well...

GeorgieLeaning


Yeah, so I had to go back to Narville Snark’s Office the other day to deliver my first Sales Report for those Asian Hornet Swatters (you know, those things you can use to swat Asian Hornets). I proudly gave him my first Sales Sheet, but he didn’t seem Overly Pleased for some reason.


“Bee,” he said.

“Yes, I am,” I said.

“Don’t gets cute wit me, Bee. Deese numbers ain’t lookin’ dat great, and dat’s puttin tings mildly-like. I’s Deeply Disappointed in yous Job Puhformance, Bee. Dis won’t do.”

“But I did sell three Swatters,” I told him. “I sold two to the Hive, and one to my Great Grandma Gee Gee, beecause she felt sorry for me, so...”

“So... tree Swatters ain’t enough. Dat means we’s gots ourselves a Serious Problem. Yous was supposed ta sell more dan tree of dose tings. As I tolds yous beefore, dat won’t do. I don’t tink dis Arrangement is Woiking Out.”

Then he started reaching his Wing into his Inside Jacket Pocket, where there was a large Bee-Bee Gun-Shaped Bulge - and we all know what that means. I had to think Highly Fast beefore I got Or Elsed, so I said, “If I may,”.

“If yous may what, bee?” he said.

I wasn’t exactly sure what I was gonna May What, but I knew I didn’t wanna get shot with a Bee-Bee Gun. That would hurt. A lot. After a few seconds of pulling on my Antennae for Inspiration, and stalling for time, I thought of something.

“It’s a problem with Image,” I told him. “Our Would-Bee Customers don’t feel Inspired to buy these Questionably Fine Swatters, beecause they don’t feel all that threatened by something called an ‘Asian Hornet’. When you hear ‘Asian Hornet’, do you feel like you need a Swatter?”

Narville just stared at me and didn’t say anything, so I said, “Neither do I.”

“So, whats does yous suggest, Bee? And dis bettah bee good,” he said.

“I think we should rename your Dubiously Fine Product. We should call it the ‘Marginally Deluxe Murder Hornet Swatter’ - beecause that’s another name for them - ‘Murder Hornets’,” I said. “Who wouldn’t want to have a Marginally Deluxe Murder Hornet Swatter close by when you need one? I would think most everybody would need to buy several of these, probably.”

Then I just stood there, waiting for him to say something.

He didn’t say anything for what seemed a very long time, but just kept staring at me. Then he got a not-all-that-Comforting Smile of his on his face (you know the one), and finally said, “Moider Hornet Swatter? Moider Hornet...Moider Hornet...yeah, I likes dat, bee. I thinks yous is onto sometin.”

Wow did I feel Relieved, especially when Narville pulled his Wing out of his Jacket at pointed it at me (I was amazingly glad it wasn’t holding any sort of Weapon or anything).

“Okay, bee. Yous’s got one, more chance at dis, and da next Sales Report bettah bee good, or...”

“Or Else?” I interrupted him.

“It’s good dat wes understands one anudder,” he said.
“I’ll sees yous back here in One Week, and dese Sales Numbuhs bettah bee bettah.”

Then he said, “Now get outta my Office.”

So I did that. (That guy scares the hell out of me.)

I was glad that Meeting went so well, and felt Highly Relieved that Narville Snark let me leave without tying my Antennae in Knots (or something worse). I was also glad that the Meeting didn’t take long, beecause that gave me more time to grab some Lunch, and make it in plenty of time for the first Session of that Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Seminar ButterCup and Fleur signed me up for. There was absolutely, positively no way I wanted to bee late for that, mostly.

As it turns out, though, I didn’t quite make it to the first Session, beecause I decided that I’d grab something to eat at Lousy Louie’s. I was really Hungry and, as I think everybody knows, Louie makes the best Pollen Burgers anywhere around here. I figured I could eat, then try out my new Sales Pitch to anybody that was there.

When I got to Lousy Louie’s, the place was packed, but I managed to get a Table, then start trying out my new Sales Pitch. Of course, I didn’t sell any Swatters, but my Potential Customers kept buying me Nectartinis to enjoy with my Lunch (“it’s the least we can do, just beecause you seem to bee trying so hard,” they said). After all that, it was everything I could do to just get back home to my ShoeBox and go to sleep, which I did. That Lunch made me feel Highly Tired for some reason. I was way too tired to make it to any Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Seminar, as much as I was looking forward to that. Mostly.

So today, I hafta’ go find out when the next Session is, and make sure I remember not to forget to remind myself to write that on my Calendar, which I need to go find.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature