Georgie Starts His New Job...

BeeTimes_12.2022-Part-1


I just hafta' say that I am Highly Confused about why my Editor has Decided that he wants me to write a Weekly Feature Article for the 'Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News' about what it was like to bee in a Persistent Coma.

Seriously now. There are so many other, incredibly NewsWorthy Things going on . . . continuing Supply-Chain Problems with several kinds of Pollen (it's still Impossible to get ahold of Rose Pollen), the Over-Consumption of Honey in the Hive by bees who think Obesity is a joke (it isn't), that everybody's having to put up with a small Swarm of bees who thinks it's Highly Funny for Dancer Drones to bee spreading Disinformation by giving fake directions to Flowers in the Far Meadow (it's not), and of course the Worst thing that's going on is the fact that it seems the Hive has a Problem with an old Queen (Queen Jemima, to bee precise) who somehow managed to Escape beeing Murdered after her Replacement took over, and who Mistakenly Thinks she still should bee Queen (she shouldn't bee). Now those are NewsWorthy Topics that should bee Reported On - but does my Editor want me to Investigate and Write about those Stories? No, he does not. He wants me to write about a Persistent Coma that I barely Remember.

Geeeeeeze. If I didn't hafta' have a Job so I can Chip In on the Utility and Grocery Bills while I'm staying at ButterCup's Place,
I'd tell my Editor exactly what he could do with his Assignment.

Unfortunately, I need the Honey, so Fine. I'll Comply.
For now.

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It Looks Like Georgie's Life is About to Change...

Georgie-with-his-Editor-12.1.22


So after we got finished with dealing with our Lawyer, S.O.Bee, Great Grandma Gee Gee invited us all back to her and Kevin's BootBox for some of her Highly Delicious and Mostly Nutritious Royal HoneyChew Krisp ™ Cookies and some Delightful Chilled Nectar (which was a good thing beecause, as I mentioned beefore, I was Amazingly Hungry).

While we were all sitting around her Kitchen Table, I noticed that ButterCup and Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) excused themselves and were standing in the other Room buzzing with each other over what looked like a Very Important Conversation about something Serious. Beefore they came back to the Table to have more Cookies, I saw ButterCup give Kevin a piece of paper, and heard her buzz, "You tell him. I'll wait outside."

"Fine," Kevin said.  ButterCup didn't look at me as she stepped outside. He had a Weird Smile on his Face as he walked back toward me. It didn’t look particularly Genuine, if you know what I Mean.

Kevin sat down next to me at the Table, looked deep into my Compound Eyes, and said, "Uncle Georgie, you're the best Uncle in the World, and I Love you, but... ." There was an Awkward Pause as he stopped talking for a few seconds and started eating a Cookie. 

"But what?" I asked him.

"Well, ButterCup asked me to tell you that you need to find a Job so that you can Contribute to the Grocery and Utility Bills while you're staying at her Place. She just cannot have you Taking Advantage of her Generous and Giving Nature while you're trying to get your ShoeBox and all your Personal Property, Real or Imagined, back from Felonie Snark and the Snark Brothers," he told me.

"A Job?" I asked. "ButterCup thinks I should get a Job? Like what kind of Job?" I asked.

"How the hell should I know?" Kevin said. "Also," he added,  "ButterCup asked me to pass along this Note.  It's addressed to you. It's from your Editor. So here - I suggest you read it."  

Then he gave me the Note. It said:

"Bee: I don't know where the Hell you've been, or if you think that you don't still have Responsibilities here at the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News, you've got another Thing coming. I expect to see you in my Office Immediately if not Sooner... and don't bee late - or Else. - Your Editor"

"My Editor wants to see me??"

"Apparently so," Kevin said.

"What do you think he wants?"

"Don't ask me. Contrary to Popular Beelief, I'm not a Mind Reader," Kevin said, "but if I were you, Uncle, I'd make a point of going to his Office Immediately if not Sooner, instead of standing around here, asking a bunch of Questions we can't Answer - or Else. And, if I were you, I'd take off that grungy-looking Green String you’ve been wearing around your Neck . It looks Ridiculous."  (I never knew it was a Popular Beelief that Kevin was a Mind Reader, and I wish I hadn't not known that sooner. Also, I didn’t wanna bee Rude, but Kevin should know by now that Bees don’t have Necks. But whatever.)

"You mean my
By-Prescription-Only Therapeutic Wool Warming Device that Nurse Beeatrice gave me when I was finally Released from the Clinic?" I asked.

"Whatever it's called, you should take that thing Off, and leave it here. I. You should also go without Potato," Kevin said.

"Leave Potato? But what if I need some Certified Emotional Support?" I asked.

"Don't worry. She'll bee fine right here waiting until you get back," Kevin said.

"Fine," I said.

So I did that.

When I got to my Editor's Office, I was pretty sure he was Highly Glad to see me, beecause when I walked in, he said, "Well, well, well, look at who finally decided to show up for Work. Where in the Hell have you been, bee?"

"Maybee you didn't hear that I'm just coming out of a Persistent Coma, and have been Overly Buzzy with some Legal Matters that have required my Immediate Attention. You see, I ... ".

"Let me just stop you there, bee," he stopped me there. "I know all about your Persistent Coma, and I also know that you've been Awake and capable of Working for weeks now."

"Working on what?" I asked him.

"You will bee working on writing a Series of Exclusive Serial Feature Stories in which you will share your Insights as a Recovering Persistent Coma Patient," he said.

“But I didn’t even think I worked here anymore,” I said.

“I don’t know what gave you that Idea, bee. You’re still a very Important Part of our Staff of Editorial Journalists.”

"You're Kidding, right?" I thought he was Kidding. 

"I don't Kid, bee," he said. “And I beelieve our Beeloved Subscribers would very much Appreciate hearing the Intimate Details surrounding your Persistent Coma, and your Alleged Subsequent Recovery.”

"But I don't seem to Remember much about beeing in that Persistent Coma. I mean, I Remember a few things, but everything is kind of Fuzzy, so I don't Think...".

"No, you don't. You don’t Think. What you do is Write the Feature Stories, and your first one is due on my Desk no later than the Close of Buzziness on Monday - or Else," he said. “Now get out of my Office.”

Geeeeze. What could I say? He's my Editor. "Fine," I said.

So there goes my Weekend.

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Georgie's Appetite Causes Some Trouble...

Violet-LeBlanc-11.24.22


Seriously now, I think the next time I hafta go see my Lawyer, S.O.Bee, I’m gonna pack a Lunch. Just a little while ago, we were able to Consult with him about a Possible Class Action Lawsuit. Unfortunately, I had Forgotten to Remind myself to Remember to eat Lunch beefore the five of us - ButterCup, Great Grandma Gee Gee, Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew), Potato (my Sensory-Impaired Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug) and I - arrived at S.O.Bee’s Office Waiting Room.

Unbeelievably, even though we had a mostly Firm Appointment for 2:15, we ended up waiting over two hours and 87 minutes beefore his Mostly Private Confidential Executive Secretary, Violet LeBlanc, finally came into the Waiting Room and said, “He will see you now”, then showed us into his Office. I was Amazingly Hungry by then.

Now, I dunno about you, but usually, when I go to somebody’s Office, and after they ask me to Sit Down and make myself Comfortable, I occasionally halfway expect them to also ask me, “May I get you anything? A Refreshing Beverage, perhaps, or a Snack?” But is that what happened this time? No, it wasn’t.

Still, I felt unbeelievably Hungry and Thirsty (and I was pretty sure everybody else was, too), so beefore Violet LeBlanc went back to her Desk, I asked her, “Excuse me, but do you by any chance have anything you might bee able to offer my Companions and me in the way of a Sparkingly Refreshing Beverage, or Late-to-Mid-Afternoon Snack? We’ve been Waiting quite awhile, and beecause we somehow forgot to have Lunch, we’re… “ (I was gonna finish my Sentence, but she Interrupted me, which I thought was Highly Rude). She raised her Wing and said, “Okay, let me just stop you there.”

So I stopped there, but she kept buzzing.

“You seem to bee suffering under the Mistaken Impression that this office in some way doubles as a Fast Food Café…”.

“Oh, no,” I Interrupted her, “it doesn’t have to bee Fast. I’m sure if you could find us something in the next five or ten Minutes, that would bee…”.

“Don’t ever Interrupt me,” she Interrupted me again. “As I was saying, this is a Law Office. This is not a Fast Food Café, nor is it a Convenience Store, nor is it a Beestro catering to your Nutritional Needs. No, this a Law Office. If you feel Compelled to seek out Beverages and/or Snack Foods in lieu of continuing with this Appointment, then by all means, I invite you - and your friends - to Reschedule for a time when you are feeling more properly Nourished.”

“No, no…” I started to say.

“I told you to never Interrupt me, and yet you did. Allow me to Enlighten you about my Role in whatever Buzziness you have with my Boss, S.O. I am his Mostly Private Confidential Executive Secretary. I am not a Food Service Worker Bee. As his Mostly Private Confidential Executive Secretary, it falls on me to assure you, our Beeloved Client, that all the necessary Paperwork relating to your Case is properly Dealt With in a Timely and Accurate Manner. As I do play an Integral Role in helping to assure you, our Beeloved Client, that your Chances in Prevailing in your Legal Challenges meet or possibly exceed the 23.387% Success Rate we Strive for, as described in the Contract you will bee asked to sign prior to our Beeginning Work on your Case. I am a Professional. I take Pride in my Work, and I would appreciate it if you would Respect that fact.”

“Fine,” I said.

“Fine,” she said, then she left, and we went on with our Meeting with S.O.Bee. To make a short story not as long as it could bee, he agreed to take our Case and file a Class Action Lawsuit against Felonie Snark and Snark Brothers Enterprises on beehalf of Great Grandma Gee Gee and me.

“Beecause this Case involves a greater number of Plaintiffs,” S.O.Bee told us, “there is a better chance that the Royal Court will hear our Arguments early next week.”

“Early next week? My Heavens, I’m so Pleased to hear that this whole Matter might bee Resolved quickly,” Gee Gee said.

“I didn’t say this would bee Resolved quickly,” S.O.Bee told her. “This may take some time, and judging by the way Georgie here has quite obviously Insulted my Mostly Private Confidential Executive Secretary, it may take even longer than expected to Expedite the Necessary Paperwork.”

Right about then, everybody just kind of looked at me and stared. I was Hungry and Thirsty - I hadn’t tried to Insult anybody. Geeeeeeze, what could I say?

“Oh geeeeze,” I said. “Maybee I should go Apologise to your Mostly Private Confidential Executive Secretary?”

“Ya’ think?” Kevin buzzed. “You know, Georgie, you’re the best Uncle in the World, and I Love you, but sometimes it seems as if you let your Appetite get the better of you.”

“Yes, Dear,” Gee Gee said. “Do go Apologise to her so that we don’t have to wait so long to deal with all of this.”

“Fine,” I said. “I’ll go Apologise to her.”

So I did that.

I went out to Violet’s Desk. She was sitting there munching on some very Appetising-Looking Honey-Glazed Pollen Puffs and sipping on a Non-Fermented Nectar Fizz. She looked up at me and said, “May I help you?”

“Well,” I beegan, “on beehalf of my Friends and Me, and in order to Expedite our Case, I would like to offer my most Sincere Apologies for probably Insulting you on either Personal or Professional Level. I’m Sorry.”

Violet LeBlanc looked at me and said, “Are you? Are you truly, genuinely Sorry for treating me and this Office as if we were a Corner Diner? Are you?”

“Am I Sorry? Yes,” I told her. “I’m Sorry.”

She looked at me for a Minute or so, then finally said, “Fine. But know this: I’m watching you, bee.”

“Fine,” I said, and I went back into S.O.Bee’s Office. Gee Gee had already told him about the Counterfeit Cookies, so as soon as I sat down and after he didn’t offer me a Refreshing Beverage or Snack, he asked me if I was going to join the Class Action Suit.

“Of course,” I said.

“And what do you hope to gain?” he asked me. “I ask, beecause as you’ll see in my Standard Retainer Agreement you’ll bee signing, my Standard Fee is Doubled since this will bee an Expedited Class Action Suit. What that means is that, upon our Successful Adjudication of this Matter - and beecause I will bee waiving my Fee for Gee Gee as a part of our ‘Give Seniors a Break’ Promotional Offer we’re Offering this week, so I will bee compensating for my Losses by adding an additional 23% to my already-Reasonable Fee of 64% of any and all of your Personal Assets, Real or Imagined, that are Reclaimed from the Snarks. If you are Agreeable to these Terms, please Sign this Binding Irrevocable Retainer Agreement, and we will get Started on your Case.” Then he gave me a Pen.

“Fine,” I said, and I signed. S.O.Bee thanked us, then he called Violet LeBlanc to Show us Out, which she did.

Of course, beefore we left, she pointed to the Pen S.O.Bee had given me to sign the Binding Irrevocable Retainer Agreement with and said, “The Pen. You need to return the Pen. This is also not an Office Supply Store. As I said, I’ll bee watching you, bee.” (Geeeze, it’s not as if I was trying to Steal the Pen, probably.)

“Fine,” I said, then I gave her back the Pen and we left.

So now that we’ve Concluded our Buzziness with S.O.Bee, I’m still Intensely Hungry and Thirsty in a Major Way. Seriously, I need to find a Snack.

So I’m gonna go do that.

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Potato Renders Some Emotional Support...

GeeGee&group--11.17.22


I beelieve the last time we Visited, I mentioned that ButterCup, Potato and I were going to make our Way to pay a visit to Great Grandma Gee Gee. We needed to break the News to her that Felonie Snark and the Snark Brothers have started Counterfeiting her Royal HoneyChew Krisp™ Cookies. When we got there, I showed her the Box of Counterfeit Cookies that ButterCup had, and she said, "Oh my Stars. These aren’t my Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™, not at all. Oh Dear, oh Dear, this simply will not do." 

“No, it will not,” I said.

My Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, was standing there, and said, "If you would, please give me that Box. I would like to submit these Cookies to some Rigorous Tests to check for a few things." So I gave him the Box of Counterfeit Cookies. He grabbed it in his Wing, then disappeared around the Corner, slamming the Door to his Workspace beehind him. After what seemed to bee several long minutes, his Door finally opened, and we heard him buzz loudly as he rejoined us.

"Ah HA!" he buzzed. "It is just as I thought."

"What did you think, Dear?" Great Grandma Gee Gee asked Kevin.

"These Cookies - " Kevin said, "not only are they Counterfeit, but they are Toxic! After running a series of Marginally Comprehensive Preliminary Rapid Tests on these Cookies, and according to my Findings,  they are made primarily of Contaminated Sawdust and Non-Homogenized Tree Sap with some Artificial Colours and Flavourings mixed in to Deceive Unsuspecting Customers."

"Tree sap? And Sawdust?? That sounds appalling," Great Grandma Gee Gee said (she sounded appalled).

"Yes it is," Kevin told her. "Appalling is exactly the Proper Term. Not only will these Counterfeit Cookies make you sick, probably, but I can tell you that they taste terrible. I had to eat six of these things beefore I was able to arrive at my Preliminary Analysis and Render an Informed Conclusion, and my Conclusion is that these Cookies are not only bad for you, but that they taste horrible. Here, try one," he said as he tried to give me one of the Cookies.

"No, thank you, no," I said.  "My Doctor, Ph.Bee, told me I should avoid Tree Sap. Not only does it taste bad, but you could easily end up in the Middle of a Sticky Situation.”

"Fine," Kevin said. "Would anyone else care to try one of these things?"  All at once, Gee Gee and ButterCup buzzed "NO THANK YOU!" (Potato just kind of Chirped).

And that was that.

I could tell that Gee Gee was Highly Upset over all of this, beecause she was standing in the corner, Wringing her Wings, saying, "Oh Dear, oh Dear, I'm so Highly Upset. What am I to do about all this?"

Up to this point, we really hadn't heard much out of Potato except for that Chirp, but after she read Gee Gee's Mouthparts, Potato could see that she was clearly in Distress, so she beegan to respond to Gee Gee's Question. 

"As a Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug," she said, "I beelieve it would bee Remiss of me if I were to fail to offer the kind of Practical and Useful Emotional Support and Comfort you need in this moment of Emotional Turmoil and Distress; therefore...", then she didn't say anything else for what seemed like several long and silent Minutes. Everybody just stood there and stared at her, waiting for her to finally finish her Sentence (I had to go to the Bathroom while we were waiting, but it turns out she still hadn't said anything more beefore I got back). 

"So what's your Advice already?" ButterCup asked Potato. "What Sage Words of Certified Reassurance do you have for Gee Gee in her Hour of Uncertainty? Speak."

"Oh, sorry," Potato seemed to snap out of some sort of Trance or something. "I kind of went Somewhere Else there for a minute." She grabbed Gee Gee's Wings in her front feet, looked Deeply into her Compound Eyes, and said, "My Advice to you is: Take a Big, Deep Breath, then Sue."

Gee Gee took a Deep Breath (we all did, actually), then she asked, "Sue?"

"Yes," Potato said as she let go of Gee Gee's Wings. "After you finish absorbing the Outrage of the Snark's Larceny, Sue them. Use the Power of your Pain, and Sue the Wings off of them. I will take that even a step further:” Potato paused. “Considering the Significant Problems Georgie has also been experiencing with the Snarks - particularly with Felonie Snark - I would suggest that you not spend a lot of time beeing Mad or Upset about this. Riding that Emotional Rollercoaster will get you Nowhere; instead," she continued,"I would Suggest that you both Confront your Shared Emotional Distress head-on, that you and Georgie combine your respective Efforts, and that you, together, file a Class-Action Lawsuit against the Snark Brothers, but bee sure that Felonie Snark is named as the Primary Defendant in that Lawsuit, not simply the Snark Brothers Enterprises. Bee Proactive. Sue, and put an end to all your Problems. It won't bee easy, but you WILL win in the end, probably, and everybody will feel much better, and bee much happier, mostly.”

"That's a great Idea!" both Gee Gee and I buzzed at the same time.

"And that's just what we'll do," Gee Gee said, "We'll sue the Snarks, especially Felonie. I'll get them to stop Counterfeiting my Cookies, and we'll force Felonie to give back all of Georgie's Personal Property, Real or Imagined."

"Your Advice is such a Comfort," I told Potato.

"Yes, Dear," Gee Gee said, "thank you. I almost feel better already."

"You're quite welcome," Potato said. "That's what I'm here for. It's nice to bee Appreciated."

Anyway, that's what we're going to do: we're going to take Potato's Advice. Gee Gee and I are going to File a Class Action Suit against the Snarks - especially Felonie. If everything goes well, we can put an End to any Illicit Sales, Marketing, and Distribution of those Toxic Counterfeit HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™, and I can get my ShoeBox and all my Beelongings back from that Wasp who is getting his Wings all over my Stuff, which is both Rude and Unacceptable.

So... we have another Appointment with my Lawyer, S.O.Bee around 2:15 or so sometime beetween now and next Thursday to Discuss our next Move. I'll bee sure to remind myself not to forget to remember to letcha' know what happens with all this.

Okay then.

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A Shocking Discovery During Snacktime...

Counterfeit-Cookies


So as I was saying, after my Lawyer, S.O.Bee told us to get out of his Office (which we did), ButterCup, Potato, and I went back to ButterCup's Place. By the time we got there (we had to walk very Slowly to keep up with Potato), it was Middle-to-Late Afternoon, and long past the time to indulge in a Mid-to-Late-Afternoon-Post-Brunch Snack. I was going to just go into ButterCup's Kitchen to try to Locate something that would bee an appropriate Snack, but then I remembered she made it mostly Clear that she didn't want me Piddling around in her Space. So I didn't. Instead, I asked her what she had around her Place to Munch on for a Snack.

She looked at me and asked, "A Snack? It wasn't that long ago that we had Brunch, and it's not that long beefore it's time to have Supper. You're telling me you're actually Hungry? Seriously?"

"Yes," I said. "I always try to enjoy a Mid-to-Late-Afternoon-Post-Brunch - or Lunch- Snack," I said.

"So you're telling me this is going to bee a daily thing? Is that right? Is that what you're telling me?" ButterCup asked. She sound slightly Upset.

"Yes," I said.

ButterCup just kind of rolled her Compound Eyes at me, and said "Fine, let me see what I might have."  Then stepped into her Kitchen Space, rummaged around, and came up with what turned out to bee a Box of Cookies.

"Oh good. Cookies. Always a Perfect Snack," I commented.

ButterCup gave me the Box of Cookies, and at first, I thought it was a Box of Great Grandma Gee Gee's Royal HoneyChew Krisp ™ Cookies. But no, it wasn't. The Package looked almost exactly the same, but what ButterCup gave me wasn't a box of Great Grandma Gee Gee's Royal HoneyChew Krisp™ Cookies.  What ButterCup gave me was a Box of something called "Grandma Gee Gee Gee's Royal HoneyKrisp Chew™ Cookies". Then in the Fine Print under the part of the label where it tells you about the Good and Not-Necessarily-So-Good Ingredients, kind of Above that Table that lists all the Information about how much Weight you'll Gain for each Cookie you eat, and right next to the blurry numbers showing the Expiration Date, I spotted the Manufacturer's Information. I couldn't beelieve what I was seeing.

"'Manufactured with Marginal Care and Spotty Attention to Quality Control by Amalgamated Bakery and Snack Foods, a Subsidiary of Snark Brothers Enterprises.' For Product Questions, or to submit Glowing Reviews of this Product, please contact Felonie Snark, Associate Director of Quality Control and Consumer Litigation," I read that Label Out Loud so ButterCup could Explain why she was trying to pass off a box of Counterfeit Grandma Gee Gee's Royal HoneyChew Krisp ™ Cookies on me. "These," I buzzed loudly as I held the Box over my Head, "are Counterfeit Cookies! This is an Outrage!”

"Are they?" ButterCup asked. "I had no idea. As a matter of fact, I actually didn't buy those - somebody was passing out free Boxes of Cookies the other day. They looked real to me, but I didn't really look at them all that closely."

"Well they're not real," I informed her. Then I opened the box, and grabbed one of the Cookies. It almost immediately Crumbled into a Dusty Pile of dried-out Crumbs. "Do you see this? This is flatly Unacceptable. I wonder if Great Grandma Gee Gee even knows that her Delicious, and Mostly Nutritious Royal HoneyChew Krisp ™ Cookies are beeing Counterfeited by the Snark Brothers." 

"I don't know," ButterCup said, "but somebody probably needs to tell her what's going on here. “I mean, if it were my Cookies beeing Counterfeited, I’d want to know.”

"Absolutely," I absolutely Agreed with her. "She has to know that Felonie Snark and the Snark Brothers are Totally Ripping her Off.  I suggest we take this Box of Counterfeit Cookies over to Great Grandma Gee Gee's BootBox right now and show her exactly what they're doing. And while we're there, I can get a chance to visit with my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin.  I don't think I've seen him or Great Grandma Gee Gee since I Awoke from my Persistent Coma, probably. We can sit around, Munch on some Genuine Royal HoneyChew Krisp ™ Cookies with them, and after we Discuss Gee Gee's Available Legal Options to deal with this Counterfeited Cookie Thing, we can catch up on what's going on."

"Fine," ButterCup said.

"Fine," Potato said.

So we did that.

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