Observation 6: FAKE APOLOGIES

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6


Has anyone else every noticed that sometimes, when somebody says, “I’m sorry,” it seems like maybee they don’t mean it? At all? I have.

Last Thursday, when I was waiting for my Stuff to bee delivered, I just had to sneak off for a quick second to grab a sip of Nectar (I was getting deHydrated just standing there waiting for so long). When I got back, there was a Note on my ShoeBox Door. It said:

WE WERE HERE. WHERE WERE YOU?
TO RESCHEDULE YOUR DELIVERY, PLEASE CALL 873187202956423, Extension 87, BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 8:00 A.M. and 8:02 A.M. THURSDAY or SATURDAY TO BEE PLACED ON DELIVERY RESCHEDULING WAITING LIST. PLEASE REFER TO YOUR CASE NUMBER, 003859301873922-A-112-598230-26-3 TO HELP EXPEDITE YOUR REQUEST.

PLEASE NOTE: OUR OFFICES ARE CLOSED ON SATURDAYS.

WE’RE VERY SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE THIS MAY HAVE CAUSED YOU AND LOOK FORWARD TO SERVING YOU, MOSTLY.

-
Your Case Worker
Snark Brothers Moving and Storage


So after I finished getting all mad about missing my Delivery, I called the number on the Notice and talked to my Case Worker to get on the Waiting List to Reschedule the whole thing.

“Well, Mr. Bee, it looks like we might have an opening sometime in early December, if that works for you; otherwise, I’m afraid we won’t bee able to get you on our schedule until sometime in Early 2018. I’m sorry if this is causing you any discomfort or inconvenience, probably,” she said.

I know she didn’t mean it, and wasn’t sorry at all. I’m still trying to figure out why it is anybody would say they’re sorry when they’re not. At all.

Anyway, I took the opening in Early December, which means that I’m either gonna hafta keep living in that Abandoned Barbecue Grill with that Disingenuous ButterFly, or just move back into the Boot Box with Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew), my Great Grandma Gee Gee, and Gladys HoneyWings. I just might do that. At least if they tell me “sorry”, I can totally beelieve them, usually.

Okay then.
Let’s all bee careful out there.
GeorgieBee Signature

Observation 5: LIES

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5



I just gotta say: I’m sick of beeing Lied To. If you have somebody like that in your life, I’m absolutely sure you know what I’m talking about, probably.

You already know that I’ve been waiting for all my Stuff to bee delivered to my new ShoeBox, right? And I’m sure you also remember that I’ve been sharing an old, abandoned Barbecue Grill with a ButterFly until I can get moved into my new place, right? So get this:

A couple of days ago, I had just gotten back to the Grill
when that ButterFly I’m living with fluttered over to me and said, “Hey. I have Amazingly Tremendous News for you. It’s the Best News ever, beelieve me. While you were out, somebody stopped by and asked me to tell you that your Stuff will for sure bee delivered tomorrow sometime. I thought you’d bee happy to hear that.”

“Yes, I am,” I said, beecause I was.

So the next day, I showed up at my ShoeBox way early, and waited for my Stuff to arrive. And I waited. And waited some more. I even waited until 6:18 p.m., a minute longer than I had to, beefore I finally gave up and left.

When I got back to the Barbecue Grill, I asked that ButterFly, “So, who was it that told you my Stuff was going to bee delivered today?”

“Why do you ask?” she asked.

“The Moving Company never showed up, that’s why. So I’m wondering where you got your Information.”

“You mean, about your Stuff beeing delivered?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“I never said that.”

“Yes, you did,” I said. “I know for a fact you told me that.”

“No, you’re mistaken. I would remember saying that, beecause I have a Massively Superior Memory,” she said.
“Evidently, you just want to beelieve in Fake Facts, don’t you? Sad.”

Then just beefore she fluttered off to her corner of the Barbecue Grill, she said, “Oh, by the way, I got a Collect Call from your Moving Company while you were out. They wanted to make sure you got your Delivery okay. They seemed concerned, mostly. I told them everything was fine and thanked them for following up on your Delivery.”

Geeeeeeze. I knew that was just another Lie, beecause we don’t even have a telephone.

Really, I shouldn’t try to beelieve anything she might try to tell me at this point. Butterflies are Shameless Liars, especially the Orange ones. They almost seem proud of it, ya’ know? Luckily, everybody knows about them, so they’re never put in charge of anything important.

Anyway, I’m absolutely positive all my Stuff will bee delivered by 6:17 p.m. today, unless the Moving Company Lied to me. It’s gonna bee great to finally bee back in my own, Lie-Free Shoebox.

OH! I should mention that I’m gonna send out Invitations for a Shoebox Warming Party as soon as I get moved in. You’re invited. Until then…
let’s all bee highly careful out there.
GeorgieBee Signature

Observation 4: Customer Service

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4


Is it just me, or does it seem that some of the Buzzinesses out there these days don’t really care all that much about their customers?

I have a reason for asking.

Yesterday, I got a Call from my Moving Company. After we figured out that we were all okay and that we’re all were having a nice day, they finally got around to telling me the Purpose of their Call.

“The Purpose of our Call,” they said, “is to inform you that your Case has come up for Consideration, and we’re pleased to Inform you that you have been placed on the Primary Delivery Waiting List. What that means is that, all of your Household Beelongings will probably bee delivered to you sometime beetween Monday, October 30th and Thursday, November 9th, beetween the hours of 5:01 A.M. and 6:17 P.M. Will there bee somebody there to receive the Delivery, Deer?”

“Well, uh,” I told them, “I’m not sure. Can you bee more specific? I mean, would it bee possible to pin down the Actual Delivery Date and Time so I don’t have to just waste all my time waiting around for you to show up?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Deer, no. As you might imagine, we’re awfully buzzy at this time of year, what with all the Migrations going on. It’s Absolutely Imperative that you are there when our Delivery Truck shows up, eventually, otherwise, I’m afraid we are unable to promise Delivery beefore early 2018.”

“But…” I started to say.

“And, of course, we would have to charge you a Temporary Storage and MisHandling Fee if you do happen to miss your Delivery Time. And nobody wants that, mostly. So, can we count on your beeing at your New Address beetween the times I just quoted you, Dear?”

What could I say? “Probably,” I told them. Then they told me to have a Nice Day and hung up.

Geeeeeeeze. I don’t think Customer Service is what it used to bee, ya’ know?

Anyway, I’ve been just standing here by the Front Entrance of my New Shoe Box since yesterday morning, hoping my Stuff will bee Delivered soon. It’s Highly Inconvenient just having to hang around like this.

I also hope they show up soon. It’s really cold out and they have my Antennae Cozies. I hope my Antennae don’t break off. (That would hurt. A lot.)

Okay then.
Let’s all bee careful out there.
GeorgieBee Signature

PS: Happy Hallowe’en! I’d go to the Hive Hallowe’en Extravaganza, but I have to stay here. And wait.

Observation 3: Rudeness

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Have you ever noticed that the older you get, the more highly unpleasant a thing it is to hafta move?

Seriously now.

I’m sure you haven’t forgotten to remember that I told you that I decided to downsize. It took me almost a week (eight days, 3 hours and 87 minutes, to bee precise) to find a nice, cozy little Shoebox. I couldn’t beelieve how amazingly difficult it is to find Reasonably-Priced Shoeboxes these days. I finally had to hire a Shoebox Broker to help me out on this thing. She was great, except that she kept calling me “Honey” which I thought was highly rude since my name is Georgie, you know. (Somebody needs to tell her to stop doing that to her customers.)

Anyway, I found one, then I had to deal with gathering all my Essential Beelongings and trying to find some help getting that stuff moved.

I asked Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) if he could help, but he just said, “Uncle Georgie, you’re the best uncle in the world, and I love you, but I’m still exceedingly preoccupied with trying to put Bert back together, so no.”

Everybody else I know said the same thing, so I ended up having to call a Moving Company. The Worker who handled what she called my “Case”, said, “Of course, deer, we’ll bee more than pleased to assist you” (which they did). She told me that all I had to do was to provide a complete and detailed Inventory with an Estimate Value, then submit my pre-payment in an amount equal to or greater than that Value, and they’d put me on the Waiting List. So I did that. Then I asked her, “How long is the Waiting List?” I had know.

“Well, deer,” she said (she kept calling me that…anybody who knows me knows I’m not a deer…I’m a bee), “We’ll try to get to your Case sometime beefore the beeginning of the Cold Season, but we can’t promise that."

So I’m still waiting. In the meantime, I’ve temporarily been living inside a nearby Barbecue Grill alongside a Migrating Butterfly who just sits around and lies all the time, and for some reason keeps calling me “Sugar”. The only time I can get away from all this is when I go have breakfast every day at a local Diner that has, without any doubt whatsoever, the totally best Honey Waffles I’ve ever tasted in my entire life, probably. I mentioned that, beecause there’s a Server there who takes my Order and keeps calling me “Sweetie”.

“Would like like more Waffles, Sweetie? Do you need some more Fresh Squeezed Nectar, Sweetie? Can I get you anything else, Sweetie?” I mean it just never stops. I wouldn’t even go back there if it weren’t for those Waffles and the Free Internet.

I just hafta ask: WHAT IS IT with all this calling your customers “Honey” and “Deer” and “Sweetie” and “Sugar”? I realise I’m Highly Adorable, mostly, but shouldn’t there bee a Limit to all the Outpouring of Affection? I think so. I think it’s just way too Overly-Familiar to run around and do that.

I mean, would I call my Boss (Felonie Snark) “Sweetie”? No, I wouldn’t, and neither would you if you ever met her.

Anyway, I’m still waiting to hear from the Moving Company, but I’m hoping that I’ll bee nicely situated in my new, warm and cozy Shoebox soon. That’ll bee nice.

Okay then. It’s supposed to bee a beeeeautiful day today so I’m gonna go enjoy that.

Let’s all bee careful out there.
GeorgieBee Signature

Observation 2: Moving

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I’m thinking of maybee moving. Again. And I have a mostly good reason for wanting to do that, probably. The fact is, I've started to notice that I haven’t been getting the Required Daily Minimum Amount of Sleep I should bee getting. I’m Highly Exhausted.

Here’s the thing: I’ve already mentioned that, up to now, I’ve been living in a Boot Box beecause I don’t particularly want to live in the Hive. Especially right now. I mean, it’s bad enough that place is already too crowded and noisy, but I just hafta make the Observation that, these days, things in the Hive are Uncomfortably Conflicted.

Never mind that the Hive has suffered those Unfortunate Mishaps with the Falling Air Conditioning Units. I did hear there was a Petition going around that is demanding that Queen Jemima makes a Royal Decree banning all Air Conditioning Units, that the rest of those things hafta bee removed immediately, and that she needs to hold the Snark Brothers Accountable for their Highly Gross Negligence, since they were the ones who sold those things to the Hive in the first place. (I think I agree with that, which makes me an Anti-Snarker, probably.)

Of course, the Snarks say they’re Not in Any Way Responsible (“Ya’s shoulda’ read da’ Fine Print,” is what Narville Snark wrote in an Editorial Letter to my Editor at the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News), and for some Weird Reason, a bunch of bees who weren’t even hurt by those Falling Air Conditioning Units are siding with the Snarks. Those Snarkers say it’s better to bee cool than to bee safe. Easy for them to say since none of them was ever Crushed or Maimed by one of those things.

So things are tense beetween the Snarkers and the Anti-Snarkers in the Hive these days, especially with all this cold, wet weather and everybody having to stay inside all the time. Everybody’s Highly Edgy. It’s Amazingly Unpleasant.

Seriously now, who wants to live in a Noisy, Dangerous, and Edgy Hive where nobody can agree on even the Simplest Issues? Not me, that’s who.

Now, you’re probably wondering why I don’t just keep Not Living in the Hive and just stay in my Boot Box, right? Well, I’ll tell you why: lately, my Boot Box is almost as bad as the Hive, at least as far as Noise and Confusion goes.

First, my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, has turned the back half of the Boot Box into a Repair and Re-Fabrication Laboratory in an effort to try to Rebuild and Restore Bert (his Robot Bee), so he’s up at all hours banging on things and moving around Heavy Equipment and stuff. And, on top of that, Great Grandma Gee Gee has turned the other half into a Mostly All-Day All-Night Manufacturing Facility for her delicious Royal Honey Chew Crisp Cookies™, so she and Gladys HoneyWings are up all the time, Baking and Packaging Cookies. With all that noise, confusion, and having to get up in the middle of the night all the time for a Cookie, it’s pretty much impossible to get any Quality Sleep around here.

Oh sure, I suppose I could go out and buy some Antennae Noise Reduction Cozies, or maybee start taking some of that Effective Sleep-Enhancing and Appetite-Suppressant Medication they keep advertising on the Bee Network, but considering the Side Effects of that stuff, I think it would just bee healthier to move out.

Just as soon as it stops raining today, I’m gonna go out Shoe Box Shopping. (I used to live in a Shoe Box a long time ago, ya’ know, so I don’t think it would necessarily bee a bad thing to Simply and Downsize at this point.)

I need to find something soon, so I can bee sure to get all moved in and have my Cable installed beefore the end of the Cool Season. The last thing I wanna bee is Boxless this Cold Season.

So I’m gonna go do that.

L
et’s all bee careful out there.
GeorgieBee Signature