Another Observation...

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Have you ever noticed that the older you get, the more highly unpleasant a thing it is to hafta move?

Seriously now.

I’m sure you haven’t forgotten to remember that I told you that I decided to downsize. It took me almost a week (eight days, 3 hours and 87 minutes, to bee precise) to find a nice, cozy little Shoebox. I couldn’t beelieve how amazingly difficult it is to find Reasonably-Priced Shoeboxes these days. I finally had to hire a Shoebox Broker to help me out on this thing. She was great, except that she kept calling me “Honey” which I thought was highly rude since my name is Georgie, you know. (Somebody needs to tell her to stop doing that to her customers.)

Anyway, I found one, then I had to deal with gathering all my Essential Beelongings and trying to find some help getting that stuff moved.

I asked Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) if he could help, but he just said, “Uncle Georgie, you’re the best uncle in the world, and I love you, but I’m still exceedingly preoccupied with trying to put Bert back together, so no.”

Everybody else I know said the same thing, so I ended up having to call a Moving Company. The Worker who handled what she called my “Case”, said, “Of course, deer, we’ll bee more than pleased to assist you” (which they did). She told me that all I had to do was to provide a complete and detailed Inventory with an Estimate Value, then submit my pre-payment in an amount equal to or greater than that Value, and they’d put me on the Waiting List. So I did that. Then I asked her, “How long is the Waiting List?” I had know.

“Well, deer,” she said (she kept calling me that…anybody who knows me knows I’m not a deer…I’m a bee), “We’ll try to get to your Case sometime beefore the beeginning of the Cold Season, but we can’t promise that."

So I’m still waiting. In the meantime, I’ve temporarily been living inside a nearby Barbecue Grill alongside a Migrating Butterfly who just sits around and lies all the time, and for some reason keeps calling me “Sugar”. The only time I can get away from all this is when I go have breakfast every day at a local Diner that has, without any doubt whatsoever, the totally best Honey Waffles I’ve ever tasted in my entire life, probably. I mentioned that, beecause there’s a Server there who takes my Order and keeps calling me “Sweetie”.

“Would like like more Waffles, Sweetie? Do you need some more Fresh Squeezed Nectar, Sweetie? Can I get you anything else, Sweetie?” I mean it just never stops. I wouldn’t even go back there if it weren’t for those Waffles and the Free Internet.

I just hafta ask: WHAT IS IT with all this calling your customers “Honey” and “Deer” and “Sweetie” and “Sugar”? I realise I’m Highly Adorable, mostly, but shouldn’t there bee a Limit to all the Outpouring of Affection? I think so. I think it’s just way too Overly-Familiar to run around and do that.

I mean, would I call my Boss (Felonie Snark) “Sweetie”? No, I wouldn’t, and neither would you if you ever met her.

Anyway, I’m still waiting to hear from the Moving Company, but I’m hoping that I’ll bee nicely situated in my new, warm and cozy Shoebox soon. That’ll bee nice.

Okay then. It’s supposed to bee a beeeeautiful day today so I’m gonna go enjoy that.

Let’s all bee careful out there.

Georgie's noticed that it's time for a Change...

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I’m thinking of maybee moving. Again. And I have a mostly good reason for wanting to do that, probably. The fact is, I've started to notice that I haven’t been getting the Required Daily Minimum Amount of Sleep I should bee getting. I’m Highly Exhausted.

Here’s the thing: I’ve already mentioned that, up to now, I’ve been living in a Boot Box beecause I don’t particularly want to live in the Hive. Especially right now. I mean, it’s bad enough that place is already too crowded and noisy, but I just hafta make the Observation that, these days, things in the Hive are Uncomfortably Conflicted.

Never mind that the Hive has suffered those Unfortunate Mishaps with the Falling Air Conditioning Units. I did hear there was a Petition going around that is demanding that Queen Jemima makes a Royal Decree banning all Air Conditioning Units, that the rest of those things hafta bee removed immediately, and that she needs to hold the Snark Brothers Accountable for their Highly Gross Negligence, since they were the ones who sold those things to the Hive in the first place. (I think I agree with that, which makes me an Anti-Snarker, probably.)

Of course, the Snarks say they’re Not in Any Way Responsible (“Ya’s shoulda’ read da’ Fine Print,” is what Narville Snark wrote in an Editorial Letter to my Editor at the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News), and for some Weird Reason, a bunch of bees who weren’t even hurt by those Falling Air Conditioning Units are siding with the Snarks. Those Snarkers say it’s better to bee cool than to bee safe. Easy for them to say since none of them was ever Crushed or Maimed by one of those things.

So things are tense beetween the Snarkers and the Anti-Snarkers in the Hive these days, especially with all this cold, wet weather and everybody having to stay inside all the time. Everybody’s Highly Edgy. It’s Amazingly Unpleasant.

Seriously now, who wants to live in a Noisy, Dangerous, and Edgy Hive where nobody can agree on even the Simplest Issues? Not me, that’s who.

Now, you’re probably wondering why I don’t just keep Not Living in the Hive and just stay in my Boot Box, right? Well, I’ll tell you why: lately, my Boot Box is almost as bad as the Hive, at least as far as Noise and Confusion goes.

First, my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, has turned the back half of the Boot Box into a Repair and Re-Fabrication Laboratory in an effort to try to Rebuild and Restore Bert (his Robot Bee), so he’s up at all hours banging on things and moving around Heavy Equipment and stuff. And, on top of that, Great Grandma Gee Gee has turned the other half into a Mostly All-Day All-Night Manufacturing Facility for her delicious Royal Honey Chew Crisp Cookies™, so she and Gladys HoneyWings are up all the time, Baking and Packaging Cookies. With all that noise, confusion, and having to get up in the middle of the night all the time for a Cookie, it’s pretty much impossible to get any Quality Sleep around here.

Oh sure, I suppose I could go out and buy some Antennae Noise Reduction Cozies, or maybee start taking some of that Effective Sleep-Enhancing and Appetite-Suppressant Medication they keep advertising on the Bee Network, but considering the Side Effects of that stuff, I think it would just bee healthier to move out.

Just as soon as it stops raining today, I’m gonna go out Shoe Box Shopping. (I used to live in a Shoe Box a long time ago, ya’ know, so I don’t think it would necessarily bee a bad thing to Simply and Downsize at this point.)

I need to find something soon, so I can bee sure to get all moved in and have my Cable installed beefore the end of the Cool Season. The last thing I wanna bee is Boxless this Cold Season.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee careful out there.

Georgie Makes an Observation...


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So I was hanging around by this Trashcan downtown the other day (somebody had told me I’d bee able to find half of a Delicious and Refreshing Used Cherry Sno-Cone there, if I got there in time, which I didn’t). While I was buzzing around trying to find that Sno-Cone, I couldn’t help but overhear a couple of Humans standing not too far away who seemed to bee having a Nasty Disagreement. It sounded like it might bee about something Highly Important, probably, so I stopped and listened for awhile.

The First Guy (who was wearing an old, dark grey “We’ll Never Have Paris” T-Shirt) kept trying to tell some Other Guy (who seemed to suffer from a Severe Hearing Problem), that he thought the World has a Problem with Global Swarming or something like that. (I hoped they weren’t talking about me.)

“Why won’t you get this? Why won’t you understand?” the First Guy kept asking. “Every storm is worse now, and we’re having more of them, ocean levels are already rising…this last summer was the hottest on record and, and . . .”

The Other Guy just held up his hand and said, “I just see your mouth moving. You might as well save your breath since I can’t hear a single word you’re saying.”

Well then, the First Guy (in the “We’ll Never Have Paris” T-Shirt) seemed to get Highly Mad and started yelling at the Other Guy who wouldn’t even look at the First Guy anymore and just pretended to bee ignoring him.

But seriously now. Why would the First Guy start yelling? The Other Guy already told him he couldn’t hear anything, so yelling wouldn’t help him hear any better, mostly. And why would the Other Guy not even LOOK at the First Guy anymore? At least he could maybee try to read his lips or something, right?

Anyway, after Several Long Minutes, I got so fed up with all the Yelling and Not Hearing, I just had to leave.

About all I can say is that I hope the Other Guy with the Hearing Problem gets a Hearing Aid soon so that the Guy in the “We’ll Never Have Paris” T-Shirt won’t hafta keep yelling at him the next time they get together, ya’ know?

Okay then. Let’s all bee careful out there.

It's Monday!

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What a Miraculously Wonderful day Monday is, usually, so I gotta say I’m a bit disappointed that today isn’t starting off all that well for me.

First, ButterCup is still all mad at me beecause we ended up beeing late to the Honey Ball. (I still say that it’s not my Fault that Bert didn’t get my Note asking him to remind me when it was time to leave. That was so unlike him to forget to remember like that.) She was furious that we completely missed out on all the Pollen Puffs. Also, it turns out the Ball wasn’t Casual Attire, after all. She was highly embarrassed to bee seen with me since I wore those Lounging Togs I picked up in Nebraska, and she told me that I “clashed” with her gown. That didn’t help things. At all.

And then this morning, I was late for my first day as Sales Coordinator for the Snark Brothers Enterprises’ line of Supreme Deluxe Self-Flipping Pillows™. Felonie Snark was highly upset, but as I told her, it wasn’t my fault beecause I had to go see my Editor first - Or Else.

“Didn’t I’s also says, ‘Or Else’ as ta’ yous beein’ on time ta’ yous foist day of woik, bee?” she asked me.

“Well yeah,” I said, “but I wasn’t sure what you actually meant by ’Or Else’. I know my Editor means it when HE says ‘Or Else’, even though I’m not completely sure what ‘Or Else’ means and I’m not sure I wanna know, so I decided that I shouldn’t take any chances with his ‘Or Else’. Does your ‘Or Else’ mean the same thing as my Editor’s ‘Or Else’?” I had to know.

As it turns out, they both mean the same thing, so Felonie informed me that she’s withhold three weeks worth of Non-Pay and is insisting I work 87 minutes of Overtime every day to make up for the hour I was late. Geeeeeze. I guess from now on, I hafta prioritise my “Or Else’s”. As if things aren’t confusing enough.

And speaking of confusion, my Editor seemed confused when I asked him about that Trophy.

“What Trophy?” he asked me.

“You know…the Trophy. The one I won for my Interview Show,” I reminded him.

“There’s no Trophy, Bee, beecause you didn’t win anything. In fact, we’re still trying to settle the Defamation of Character Lawsuit that Butterfly filed against us after your Show. You’re just lucky I haven’t fired you from your job as Staff Reporter after all this.”

Geeeeeze. I didn’t even know I had a job as a Staff Reporter for the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News.

Then he started asking me a bunch of silly questions about why I hadn’t reported on the Horribly Unfortunate Mishap in the Hive over the Summer.

“What Horribly Unfortunate Mishap?” I asked.

“Apparently, as you’ve been off, pampering yourself with a Self-Indulgent Vacation, you seem to bee totally unaware that several bees were Severely Injured when one of those Air Conditioning Units the Snark Brothers installed in the Hive came loose from its Mounting Bracket and ended up crushing several victims,” he told me.

“No, I hadn’t heard about that at all,” I said. (I hadn’t.)

“That explains the Highly Insensitive Note you left to Bert, then, doesn’t it?”

“Insensitive Note?” I asked.

“Yes, the one in which you asked him to remind you when it was time to leave for the Honey Ball. The one he never saw beecause of his beeing crushed, maybee beeyond all repair, by that falling Air Conditioning Unit?”

“Oh, yeah, that Note. Bert was crushed?” I asked.

“Yes, crushed,” he said, “maybee beeyond repair. Several bees were severely injured. Lefty lost both of his Wings, so now nobody knows what to call him, and Lester Bee is facing Extensive Rehabilitation. He still hasn’t uttered a single buzz since the Mishap.”

The minute he told me about the Mishap, I finally understood why it was that Bert never reminded me about when it was time to go to the Honey Ball, and why ButterCup is so mad at me: It was all the Air Conditioning Unit’s fault!

I can’t wait to tell ButterCup.

“So what do you have to say for yourself?” My Editor asked me.

“Well, if I may, I’d like to make an Observation or two . . . “ I started to say.

“An Observation, bee? You’re making Observations now, are you? I don’t have time for your Observations today, but I’ll tell you what: you go right ahead and make your Observations, but put them in writing and have them on my desk beefore the end of the week!”

“But … “ I started to tell him I have another job now, but he didn’t seem interested.

Then he said, “Now get out of my Office!”

So I did that.

ButterCup’s gonna bee so happy to hear that she really doesn’t need to bee mad at me anymore. She can blame that Air Conditioning Unit instead of me! Isn’t that great?

Okay then, my Break’s over. Time to get back to trying to Coordinate those Pillows.

I’ll catch up with everybody the next time I get some time off. Until then, let’s all bee careful out there.

Welcome to the New Cool Season!

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SO, another Hot Season has Come and Gone, and here we are at the beeginning of a new Cool Season! Time passes highly quickly, doesn’t it? It seems like only yesterday that it was still the Hot Season.

Well, tonight’s the night. In just a few, short hours, the Annual End of the Hot Season Honey Ball will beegin.

I hafta say that I feel amazingly lucky that I managed to get Tickets to this thing. When I showed up at the Hive Ticket Office, they asked me to provide Proof of Identity and Residence (evidently, bees from other Hives have been trying to sneak in so they could monopolise all the Pollen Puffs, so Hive Security had to step in and take charge). Of course, I left all my Papers in my Boot Box. When I finally remembered where I put those and got back to the Ticket Office, there was a “NO MORE HONEY BALL TICKETS AVAILABLE” sign hanging on the door, and they were closed.

There’s no way that ButterCup would have forgiven me for messing up on the Tickets, but lucky for me, as I sat in front of the Ticket Office Door trying to figure out what do about this whole thing, Felonie Snark (my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin’s, Formerly Estranged Sister) just happened to buzz by.

“Yous looks discouraged, bee,” she said. “What’s da’ sad face all abouts?” (I couldn’t help but notice that Felonie is starting to sound more and more like her Alleged Father, Narville, and Uncle Chaz the longer she hangs out with those guys.)

To make a long story short, I explained my dilemma to her, then she said, “Then it’s lucky for yous I jus’ happened ta’ bee passing by. It jus’ so happens that I can procures two Tickets for yous - for a price, of course.”

Now, I think we all know already that Honey Ball Tickets are FREE this year, thanks to Queen Jemima’s “Hive Morale” Initiative which, among other things, provides free Event Tickets for every Event to every bee in the Hive, along with a six-week Membership to Bendy Hallowayover’s “Bee Fit” Fitness Spa and Salad Bar, and some Discount Coupons for Bees ‘R Us. So, I really didn’t understand why I should hafta pay Felonie for anything, but she told me that if I didn’t agree to her Terms, she wouldn’t give me the Tickets.

“So how much?” I asked her. “How much Honey do you want?”

“Oh, I doesn’t wants Honey, bee” she said. “What I needs, what I means ta say is, what da’ Company needs at dis particular-like juncture is …well, let’s jus’ calls it a Sales Coordinator, for lacks of a better toim. I hears yous gots some experience in dat field, so if yous wants dese Tickets, yous gotta come woiks for us. Or Else.”

How could I say no? Also, I gotta say that I felt highly flattered that Felonie was familiar with my fairly impressive background in Sales. I think it’s fair to say that I probably still hold the Sales Record for Door-to-Door Door Sales. I’m also pretty sure that Lawsuit involving those Paper Spoons has been dropped, so as far as I know, I have a clean Employment Record. Probably.

Anyway, I needed the Tickets, so I told her I’d do that.

“But can I ask what kind of Sales I’m gonna Coordinate?”
I asked.

“I supposes dat’s not a unreasonable request,” she said. “Sure. YOUS is now da Official Sales Coordinator for da’ Snark Brudders Enterprise’s newest Product, da’ latest in Sleep Comfort: da Supreme Deluxe Self-Flipping Pillow™.”

Seriously now, who doesn’t want and need a Self-Flipping Pillow™, especially a Supreme Deluxe one? I’d say just about everybody.

I start on Monday. Unfortunately though, I already know I’m gonna bee late on my First Day, beecause my Editor says he wants to see me. (Maybee that Personalised Monogrammed Trophy for my probably winning the Best Non-Broadcast Semi-Fictional Mostly Live Interview Show, Four Minutes or Less, finally arrived. I dunno why he couldn’t have just had that delivered or something, ya’ know?)

Anyway, I gotta get ready to take ButterCup to the Honey Ball. I’ll bee picking her up early for that, since she made it Very Clear that she doesn’t wanna miss out on the Pre-Reception supply of Pollen Puffs this year, so I’m gonna make sure we’ll definitely bee on time, mostly. (“How?” you ask? I’ll tell you: Just to bee on the safe side, I’m gonna leave a Note for Bert, Kevin’s Artificially-Intelligent Robot Bee, and ask him to remind me to leave on time, that’s how.)

I can always depend on Bert, even though I haven’t seen him around since I got back. He’s probably off getting a Software Update or something. I just need to make sure I remember to write him that Note.

So I’m gonna go do that right now while I’m still remembering not to forget.

I’ll catch up with ya sometime after the Honey Ball, then!
Until then, let’s all bee careful out there.