Observation #34: Short Term Memory Problems

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Where was I? Oh yeah…

I think my Editor might have a serious problem. I haven’t been able to fail to not notice that he seems to bee having trouble remembering stuff properly. (I don’t have that problem myself, usually, so I’m really glad I’m alert enough to notice things like this.)

Yesterday, I remembered that my Editor wanted to see me in his Office on Tuesday, so since today is Tuesday, I showed up right on time.

When I walked in, he said, “Bee, where have you been? You were supposed to bee here on Tuesday.”

“It is Tuesday,” I told him, “and, as you can clearly see, here I am.”

“You were supposed to bee here last Tuesday,” he said, “or Else.”

Georgie-with-his-Editor_4


“Was I? I don’t think so. I think you might bee mistaken. Last Tuesday, I was busy doing something else, and I’m absolutely sure I wouldn’t have forgotten the ‘or Else’ part, probably. So, now that I’m here, what can I do for you?” I asked him.

“You don’t know? You don’t remember?” He seemed really upset. “Are you telling me that you want ME to have to help you remember your Job?” He started getting really loud. “I CAN’T DO THAT, BEE!”

I really felt terrible for him, even if he was screaming at me. I mean, how sad is it when somebody starts having memory problems like that, when they get to a point where they simply can’t remember stuff.

“I’m sorry,” I said. I mean, I’m mostly sure all of us can agree that it’s just sad when somebody has a problem like this.

“Well it’s about time,” he said. “I never thought I’d live to see the day when you finally said those words to me,” he said.

“Seriously? Why would you say something like that? Everybody knows that I’m a highly sympathetic and compassionate bee. I can feel your pain. Why wouldn’t I bee sorry? Of course I’m sorry.” I felt kind of insulted.

“What are you talking about, Bee?” he asked. He seemed confused.

“What? You don’t remember? This is worse than I thought,” I said.

For some reason, I noticed that my Editor looked way confused, so to spare him the embarrassment he was suffering, so I asked, “Are we done here?”

My Editor started shaking. (I’m thinking that might bee a Symptom of his Serious Condition).

“NO,” he started yelling again, “we’re NOT.” Then he picked up a copy of one of my old Observations and started waving it around. “Do you see this?”

“Yes,” I told him, but I couldn’t read it beecause it was going back and forth too fast. It was a total blur.

“Two weeks ago, you once again failed in your Product Endorsement and Marketing Responsibilities by neglecting to include the word, ‘Royal’ in your reference to our Beeloved Sponsor, Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™. Great Grandma Gee Gee is furious.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, too, but is it really that big a deal? I mean, I mostly don’t bother to remember that far back, so it must not bee that huge a problem, right? Beesides, she never mentioned anything about any of this to me, and I’m pretty sure I would have remember if she had, usually.” (Luckily, at that moment, I remembered that she had left me a message on my Cell Phone that she wanted to talk to me last Wednesday, but I was snowed in, so it would have been Friday beefore I could have even made it to her place, and Friday isn’t Wednesday, is it? So I scratched it off my Calendar.)

“What the actual hell, Bee? Stop arguing with me, start doing your job correctly - or Else! Now get out of my Office!” he said.

The fact that my Editor didn’t even remember that the “or Else” part is, as we’ve all discovered, nothing more than a Meaningless Threat has me more worried than ever about his Memory Problem. I think it’s amazingly rude to get into big arguments with somebody who isn’t Well, so I said, “Fine,”, gave him a Big Hug (which he seemed to really hate), and I left.

I hafta say that I hope I never have a Problem like that, ya’ know? I’ve heard that Prevention is everything, so it’s important to watch your Diet (only the healthiest Nectar and Pollen Dishes, light on the Honey) and get plenty of Rest and Relaxation.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature

Observation #33: Meaningless Threats

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I’m just gonna continue where I left off here . . .

On Monday, I think it was, I was sitting in my amazingly comfortable Dr.Bee’sBest™ Multi-Media Surround-Sound Rocker-Recliner (with the optional Nectar Cup Holders), watching that Retrospective Documentary about "The Life and Times of Alan Thickebee: the Lost Episodes”, when there was a knock at my ShoeBox Door.

"I wonder who that could bee," I wondered.

When I went to see who was there, and to find out why they were interrupting my Stories, I found out that my Editor had sent a Messenger Bee to inform me that he (my Editor) would, and I quote, “bee Highly Enthusiastic to see you (he meant me) in my (which meant his) Office first thing on Tuesday Morning (which was two days ago) - or Else.” Geeeeeze. That really took the enjoyment out of my returning to my Stories (it was just getting into Alan’s Talk Show Days), but I tipped the Messenger Bee anyway, and he left. (I gave him a delicious and usually nutritious Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookie™. He seemed very pleased with that, which he should beecause they’re Mmmm-Mmmm So Highly Good™.)

So did you even know that Alan Thickbee HAD a Talk Show? I didn’t either.
Maybee that's why they call it, "the Lost Episodes", otherwise, we'd all know that.

Anyway, beelieve it or not, it’s already Thursday - and I still haven’t made it to my Editor’s Office yet. You’d think I’d bee highly nervous about that “or Else”, wouldn’t you? I’m not. And do you know why? It’s beecause I’ve just noticed something reasonably Valuable and Important, and that is: All this time, my Editor’s been telling me “or Else”, and mostly nothing has ever happened when I didn’t do what he told me to. I dunno about you, but it seems pretty clear that all his Threats have been totally meaningless, clearly. Think about it: I was supposed to bee in his Office two days ago, but I wasn’t - and absolutely nothing bad has happened to me. (Oh sure, I accidentally slammed my left Antenna in the Cabinet Door last night, and it’s still highly sore, but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t have anything to do with my Editor, probably.)

What does that say to you about those who make threats like, “or Else” to you? I’ll bet you’re thinking what I’m thinking, aren’t you? That’s what I thought. All this “or Elsing” is meaningless (it has no meaning), and, if you ask me, it’s highly rude. I think we can all just relax about it.

And that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna finish this Documentary, then I’ll find the time to visit my Editor just as soon as I get around to it, which should mostly bee soon. If not, I’ll go there later. Maybee he’ll get mad at me for that, but seriously now, what’s he gonna do? Evidently, nothing.

Beesides, this is a really great Week to just stay inside. It’s unbeelievably cold and windy out. I heard that the Authorities are issuing Warnings that Superfluous or Other Random Trips outside the Hive are Highly Discouraged - which should include my ShoeBox - and that everybody should just stay inside.

So I’m gonna do that. I mean, who am I to argue with the Authorities?

Let’s all bee highly careful out there (even if we all do stay inside)!

GeorgieBee Signature

Obervation #32: Laziness

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I hafta say that it’s highly unlike me, usually, but for some reason I’ve noticed that I’ve been feeling amazingly lazy lately. Basically, I just want to sit here and watch my Stories on TV, munch on some Always-Delicious™ Great Grandma Gee Gee’s HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™, and try to stay warm. (I dunno about anybody else, but the Cold Season seems to always make me feel lazy like that, ya’ know what I mean?)

So that’s pretty much what I’ve been doing, mostly.

Okay fine, it was more or less Semi-Warm and Marginally Sunny today for a little while but it was windy out - but who wants to go out and hafta deal with that? Would you? I wouldn’t, either. So I didn’t. Instead, I stayed inside, munched on those delicious ... well, you know... and started watching a Two-Part, 87-Hour Marathon Documentary about the growing problem of Fruit Fly Infestations in the Lower Sahara, at least I think that’s where the problem is. I haven’t finished watching that yet, so I dunno. Oh sure, I could do a Web Search or something to find out, but as I said, I’m just feeling too lazy to do that, also.

You’re probably saying to yourself, “Shouldn’t he bee doing something productive or something? Isn’t it a total waste of time for such an industrious, talented bee to bee just sitting around, nibbling on a bunch of you-know-whats, watching his Stories and trying to stay warm?” (I dunno about anybody else, but I’ve noticed that when somebody runs into somebody else who’s lazy, they seem to ask those kinds of questions for some reason.) About all I can say to that is, “No, not really.”

So I’m gonna keep doing that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature

Observation #31: Communications Skills, or not

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I’m sorry. I must’ve dozed off there for awhile. It’s been mostly not warm lately, so it’s kinda hard to stay awake, especially when my Stories on TV are all re-runs. I would absolutely still bee asleep without any doubt whatsoever, probably, if that bee, Buzzly, hadn’t banged on my ShoeBox Door and interrupted a really great dream I was having that I was visiting the King of France in Nebraska, and ran into a cloud of Pollen that was telling jokes which, for some reason, didn’t seem all that unusual at the time. Since I was so Rudely Awakened, I kinda forgot the rest of the dream, other than it had something to do with this Squadron of dancing bees and me having to stack a whole bunch of cases of Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™ (“Mmm-mmm-they’re so good”™) beefore the Rabbit had to leave, which was fairly exhausting, so I woke up feeling intensely tired and groggy. I hate that.

So Buzzly kept banging on the Door, interrupted that whole dream, and I mostly woke up. “What the hell?” I thought I heard myself think as I opened the Door and saw Buzzly standing there, all in a panic.

“Georgie,” I heard him say, “I freed your kelp. I’ve got a terrific pair in my lead swing.”
“My kelp? I don’t know what that is, but I guess it’s good that it’s free now. And a pair of what? Or do you mean the fruit? No, I don’t have any pears. They’re not in Season,” I told him.
“No,” he kept at me, “not a PEAR, a TEAR. And I need your HELP.”
“You have a tear? You have a tear in your lead swing? I didn’t know you could tear lead…and why would anybody want a swing made out of lead, for cryin’ out loud? I mean first, it would bee way too heavy, and second… .”
“NO!” he was getting louder, “I have a tear in my LEFT WING. What’s the matter with you? Have you got knots in your Banana?”
“What is it with you and the fruit today?” I asked him. “And what does any of this have to do with me, anyway? I need to get back to stacking all those… .”
“Let me just stop you right there,” he interrupted me. Buzzly seemed to bee getting highly annoyed for some reason, and started heavily shouting at me.
“GEORGIE! Listen CAREFULLY: I have a terrific TEAR in my LEFT WING, and I need your HELP! Are you still with me?”
“Of course,” I told him.
“Good. I came by to see if you’re still selling those Pre-Fabricated Semi-Toxic Replacement Wings you used to sell.”
“Oh hell no,” I told him. “Those things were a disaster. We had a lot - a LOT - of Complaints about those things, and usually a lot of Fatalities, but I had to sign a Document promising never to talk about any of that again - Or Else.”

Buzzly seemed highly disappointed, but he said “So that’s a no. Fine,” then just beefore he left, he mumbled, “If I were you, I’d get those blots out of your Bananas.”

“I don’t have any bananas,” I told him. “I don’t like them. I mean, they taste pretty much okay, but they make me constipated.”

Buzzly just kind of rolled his eyes, threw his one good wing up and stormed away. Geeeeeze. How rude is that? I guess there are some bees that just aren’t that good at Skilled Communication.

Anyway, I guess now that I’m awake (I can hardly ever get back to sleep after something like that, ya’ know what I mean?) I need to go try to get these knots out of my Antennae. They’re really uncomfortable.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature



Another meeting with Georgie's Editor...

So it’s really chilly and windy out today. I hafta say that the very last thing I wanted to hafta do this morning was to get out of bed and go out, but I had to. I had no choice, as usual. At least I managed to find my Antennae Cozies so I could make it to my Editor’s Office this morning without having my Antennae freeze and snap off. (That would hurt. A lot.) I was still trying to warm up my Wings when I walked in and noticed he was standing there beehind his Desk, glaring at me.

“This isn’t working, bee,” he said. “We’re getting complaints. Again. And that,” he said, “is unacceptable.”

“Complaints?” I had to ask. “About what?”

“About your over-use of ‘Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™’ in your Observations, that’s what.” He sounded upset.

“I don’t get it,” I told him, “you told me that every time I made an Observation, I had to mention Great Grandma Gee’s Royal Honey... ™,” except that I didn’t get to get to even saying the “Trademark” part beefore he interrupted me.

“Never mind what I said, bee,” he buzzed at me. “Our Beeloved Readers are beecoming highly annoyed.”

“Annoyed?” I asked. “But you said...”

“Are your Antenna frozen, bee? Did you not hear what I just said to you? Forget what I said, and listen to me,” he said, though at that point I was a bit confused about what I wasn’t supposed to bee listening to anymore, especially if he said it. But he kept talking anyway.

“This Office has received stacks and stacks of complaints about this matter.” Then he pointed his Wing at his Desk at what looked like a pile of MAYBEE two or three hostile-looking Buzz•O•Grams™, if that, and said, “You see these? These are Complaints from Beeloved Readers who are highly annoyed at your amazingly rude and redundant references to Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™. When our Beeloved Readers beecome annoyed, we have to Un-Annoy them. YOU have to Un-Annoy them.”

“But, you told me I had to mention Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal...”

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“You’re still not hearing me, bee,” he said, sticking his pointed Wing in my face. “FIX THIS -
OR ELSE.
Now get out of my Office.” So I did that.

Oh geeeeeeze. How in the hell am I supposed to meet my Legal Obligation to mention Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™ in every one of my Observations without mentioning Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™? I wanna know. I mean, I don’t wanna annoy my Beeloved Readers, but I also don’t wanna make Great Grandma Gee Gee mad. Seriously. That would not bee a good thing.

I gotta figure out what to do about all this, but I’m absolutely, totally sure I’ll come up with something, probably. So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.

GeorgieBee Signature