Georgie Makes an Appearance!

So for awhile now, I’ve had this Weirdly Eerie Feeling that I’m beeing followed, or that somebody’s been trying to conduct Covert Surveillance on me or something in some sort of Marginally-Rude Attempt to keep track of my WhereAbouts and Various Comings and Goings. Imagine my surprise when I recently had a visit with Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew), who informed me that my Suspicions have been Correct.

“For awhile now,” he told me, “there has apparently been a Concerted, Largely Disorganised Effort undertaken by Operatives affiliated with an Extensive and Largely-Unknown Information-Gathering Network who have been exerting themselves to Ascertain your Precise Whereabouts and Whatabouts.”

“Why the hell are they doing that?” I asked.

“I have no idea,” he said, “but I suggest you address whatever Issues - legal or otherwise - you may bee facing at this point in time and, in the meantime, it would bee advisable that you stop beeing so Mysteriously Elusive.”

“But I’m not beeing Mysteriously Elusive,” I told him. “I’m right here. And I’m beeing followed. Seriously now. What the hell is THAT all about?

“I have no idea whatsoever, and I do hear your Concerns, Uncle Georgie, but bee that as it may, I can only repeat my Suggestion that you beegin beeing much more Forthcoming. You’re the best Uncle in the World, and I love you, but quite frankly, you’re not always as Forthcoming as you could or perhaps should bee. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go help some friends pack.”

Then he left.

First, I think we can all agree that I’m amazingly Forthcoming. I don’t ever try to hide anything from anybody, for buzzin’ out loud, and I most certainly am always fully Approachable and Accessible to anyone and everyone who ever needs to Approach or Access me, day or night, except when I’m sleeping or I’m not around, usually. So I think this whole thing about Where I Am and What I might bee Doing has to stop already. It’s beeyond Intrusive, especially under the Circumstances - and I’m sure everybody is more than Aware of the current Circumstances. This is clearly no time to bee making anybody feel more Paranoid than usual, now is it? No, it isn’t.

While I’m at it: you’re probably gonna ask about BigFoot, the Queen, and my Editor, aren’t you? I’ll just say: that whole thing got Highly Messy.

First, the Queen issued a Formal Statement that my Editor had to Publish a Retraction of the Front-Page Story that appeared in the April 1st (April Fool’s Day) Edition of the “Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News”, including a statement from her Allegedly Royal Highness (and I think it’s best to quote this one):

“We were not Amused in the slightest by the Inappropriate, quite Insulting, and Questionable Humour which was employed in the Front-Page Story of your Publication’s April Fool’s Day Issue. As all my Subjects will Reaffirm (Or Else), I am Beeloved by All, and Admired by Most. We will tolerate no more of the Impudence demonstrated by those tasked with the Publication of your Publication. - Sincerely, Your Queen.”

My Editor wasn’t overly Pleased about having to print the Retraction, to say the least.

To make matters worse, at exactly the same time, BigFoot sued him for Publishing the Agreed-Upon Special Pull-Out BigFoot Biographical Feature Section and Proof of Life in the same Edition.

“After the April Fool’s Edition came out, everybody started thinking that I, BigFoot, don’t actually exist,” BigFoot said.

“The False Implication that I am nothing but somebody’s Idea of a Fun April Fool’s Joke is beeyond Rude and Hurtful. Do you know how that makes me feel?” BigFoot was clearly upset, so (as I mentioned beefore) he sued my Editor.

That matter is still beeing Litigated. My Editor is also not overly Pleased about that, either as well, so I’ve been maintaining a Low Profile, and been doing my best to mostly avoid him.

In the meantime, I’ve been focusing my Attention on Energies on Personal, Domestic Matters. For instance,
I couldn’t help but notice that my ShoeBox needed some serious Repairs, but even with the new Tools I bought from Bees ‘R Us, Fixing some of those things turned out to bee beeyond my Skill Set, so a couple of weeks ago, I met with a Contractor and Sub-Contractor who Specialise in Home Space Remodelling and Repairs. After visiting with them and finding out that my ShoeBox isn’t up to Code, I was informed that I have apparently decided to Remodel the whole place.

So while all that’s been going on, and as you may have heard, Her Insufferably Royal Highness, the Queen, Unexpectedly Announced that the Hive was running out of room for everybody and, in order to deal with that Problem, she would bee Implementing what she’s calling the “Hive’s Royal Space Programme”. After the Hive’s Royal Relocation Planning Committee has finished their Royal Work, Launch Day will arrive and most of the Bees will leave the Hive and follow the Queen. Anybody who stays beehind will have to learn to put up with a new Queen. That’s just the way it works with Hive Relocations.

Well, after she heard about the Space Programme, ButterCup decided she didn’t want to bee a part of the Space Programme, that she didn’t want to leave the Area, so after she heard about my Remodelling Project, she decided to give up her Apartment and move in with me when it’s all done (the Contractor said, “Ten Days”, which was about 12 days ago).

“My Roommate, Fleur de Bee, already went back to Paris and I don’t want to live all alone in that big, empty Apartment in a big, Mostly Empty Hive all by myself,” she said. “And beesides Georgie,” she said, “we’re an Item. We beelong together - and just as long as you beehave yourself, I’m sure you and I won’t encounter any Problems.”

So, just to repeat, ButterCup’s moving in with me. I’ve heard that might bee happening next Thursday (if the Remodelling is done, and the new Curtains come in), but I dunno for sure.

I’m absolutely Sure that this is gonna bee just great. ButterCup and I always get along so well, and I’m totally Certain that just as soon as the Contractor and Sub-Contractor I hired are done making all the Changes and Additions ButterCup wants to see happen in my ShoeBox (“Or Else,” she said during a Post-Judgement Luncheon after the Small Claims Court hearing about those new Curtains she said I ordered that were the wrong Colour…personally, I liked the Red Super-Hero Pattern, but ButterCup didn’t, and the Court agreed with her, so…), we’ll finish getting all her Stuff moved in, and ButterCup and I will bee together and we’ll bee all ready to enjoy what promises to bee the best Hot Season ever, probably.

Anyway, until then, and if anybody asks, I’ll bee right over there.

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Okay then.

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