Georgie has ONE WEEK left to finish the Census...
One week. I have one more week - just Seven Days - to get this dam Census done. And if you ask me (which I think you should beecause I'm the one doing this Job), I'm only about maybee five-eighths of a quarter halfway through Counting and Interviewing every Bee around here. Seriously now, how in the hell am I supposed to end up with any kind of Final Number that is anywhere close to beeing Accurate by next Monday? I'm thinking I can't; however, as you know, I've been Informed that I must Submit those Forms (the Light Purple Form #C-3787.9900001111111, and the Lavender Form #C-3787.990000111111) no later than Noon on Monday, December 21, 2020 - Or Else. So here I am, still doing this.
The only thing that makes any of this even Marginally Acceptable on any level is that next Monday is a Monday (the best Day of the Week as we all know), and this Miserable and Highly Dangerous Job will bee done. Finally. Monday can't get here soon enough for me.
In the meantime, it seems there was some brief Confusion about this whole Census last week when I was Counting and Interviewing Bigfoot (you know, that guy whose feet are so large, he can't get off the ground, so he just sits there and reads). Anyway, during the Interview portion, Bigfoot asked me, "So Georgie, are you also counting shadows, just to double-check the Accuracy of this Census?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked him.
"Well, if you didn't Verify your Count by also counting the Shadows, how do you know that bee was actually occupying physical space and time? Without the shadow, how would you bee able to Confirm that bee's Existence?"
"No, really," I said, "what the hell are you talking about?"
I not only needed to know why he was asking these Ridiculous Questions... I am supposed to bee the one asking the Ridiculous Questions. And, to tell you the Truth, I didn't have Time to stand around and get into a big Philosophical Thing with Bigfoot, for crying out loud.
Still, he just kept going on and on like this. Personally, I think Bigfoot needs to take a Vacation from his Overthinking stuff, ya' know? And beesides, as I pointed out to him, if I were gonna Count every bee's Shadow, I'd hafta' start all over again with this thing (I haven't been Counting Shadows so far), and I'll tell you right now - I'm not gonna do that. I simply don't have the Time.
Of course Bigfoot didn't care about any of that, and started giving me a Hard Time about the whole Thing.
"Your Objective is Accuracy, is it not?" he asked me.
"Well yeah," I told him.
"Well then, you have no other choice than to retrace your steps and conduct a Re-Count, and..." I interrupted him.
"Let me just stop you right there," I said. “After I'm done Counting you, which I almost finished doing, I'll bee moving along, and trying to get this Job done. Then,
when I am done, and the Paperwork has been Filed, I’m gonna go over to Lousy Louie's, order myself a Tall Nectartini, and try to forget I ever had to deal with any of this. You're certainly free to join me and to continue to engage in Irrelevantly Significant Philosophical Discussions over drinks at that time, if you wish, but right now, I'm gonna count you, then I'm gonna bee on my way."
So I did that. I counted him. As I was leaving, I was pretty sure I heard him buzzing after me, "I hope you counted my Shadow, else your entire Enterprise is a Farce."
Whatever.
Anyway, for the next Week, I'll bee inside the Hive, doing my best to finish up this Count. I hope everybody stands still so I can do that...it takes forever when they move around, ya' know?
So I'm gonna go do that.
Let's all bee Highly Careful out there!