November 2020

The Census continues...


Okay, so I’m finally able to take a short break from my Census Duties, and let everybody know what’s been going on.

First, I met with my Editor and talked to him about getting an Alternative to that list of Inappropriately Prying Questions he gave me that I’m supposed to ask every Bee I count.

“What are you talking about, bee?” he asked me, so I held up the list. He snatched it out of my Wing and started reading it.

“Oh for crying out loud, Bee,” he said, “you haven’t been asking everybody THESE questions, have you?”

“Of course I have, just like you told me to,” I said.

“You have the wrong list, bee. These questions are the ones Ph.Bee, the Hive Doctor, gave me to answer beefore my next Appointment. They’re Highly Personal. These are NOT the questions you’re supposed to bee asking for the Census. You grabbed the wrong List.”

Then he gave me a New List of Questions and said, “THESE are the Questions you should have been asking. You have to start over from the beeginning and do this Job right - or Else! Now get the Hell out of my Office!”

So I did that. And I also had to start all over with Counting and Interviewing everybody for this Census.

Geeeeeeeeze. With only 39 days left in the Cool Season, I’m not completely sure I’ll bee able to make the deadline of having all this done beefore the beeginning of the Cold Season. Seriously now. I should’ve asked my Editor for an Extension, but I got the feeling he wasn’t in the Mood.

Anyway, so far I’ve Counted and Interviewed exactly 6,287 Bees for this Census, but there are a hell of a lot more Bees to go on this thing.

I hafta say that I was glad I waited to Count and Interview Great Grandma Gee Gee until after I had the new Questions. I wasn’t looking forward to asking her how many Orgasms she’d had in the last month, if you know what I mean. I’m thinking that would have been more than awkward. Instead, I asked her about her Lineage. Of course, that opened up a whole Thing and she spent about two hours and 23 minutes telling me all about her Family History dating back to her Ancestors arriving in this country from Europe, and the role they all played during the Revolution, supplying Honey to the Human Troops. That was marginally fascinating. Luckily, the whole time she was talking, I got to just sit there and munch on a whole bunch of her Delicious and Marginally Nutritious Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™. I ate so many of them that I fell asleep while she was still talking, so it’s a good thing that Tape Recorder was going most of the time (it ran out of tape about halfway through her Interview…as I said, she was very Long-Winded).

Well, I guess my Break is over, and I need to get back To It. My next stop is the Snark Brothers (who make me Seriously Nervous for a lot of Reasons), but they have to bee Counted and Interviewed just like everybody else.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

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