An Agenda for the Negotiations is Set...



Well, you’ll probably bee pleased to know that it seems the Negotiations beetween BigFoot and me may finally bee truly mostly getting underway, in a way.

Yesterday, BigFoot and I met at Lousy Louie’s at the Appointed Time. Being the Gracious Host he is, Louie met us at the Door, and escorted us to the Custom-Configured Back Booth he’d just finished building for us. Of course, BigFoot showed up carrying a stack of Books he planned to use as References while we conducted our Negotiations (I decided to just bring my Device in case there were any Factual Disputes that needed to bee looked up), so we had to wait to bee Seated until after he put his Books into the Bookshelves Louie had built into the Booth.

“Can I bring you boys anything?” Louie asked us.

“Yes,” I said, “I would like one of your Delightful and Refreshing Questionably Bottomless Nectar Fizzes.”

“I’ll have the same,” BigFoot said.

“And would you prefer those with, or without Bendy Straws and Festive Umbrellas?” Louie asked.

“With,” I said.

“Without,” BigFoot said.

Geeeeeze. Right away he and I were At Odds. I mean, who wouldn’t insist on having a Bendy Straw and Festive Umbrella in their Beverage? Seriously now.

Fortunately, we did agree on asking for an order of Louie’s Honey-Smothered Pollen Puffs we’d Share.

“Large, Medium, or Small Order?” Louie asked.

“Large,” I said.

“Small,” BigFoot said.

After a lot of bickering back and forth, we decided to Compromise, so we ordered the Medium.

After Louie went to get our Order, BigFoot said, “First off, I want it understood that we cannot engage in these Negotiations in a Willy-Nilly Fashion.”

“Willy-Nilly Fashion,” I thought to myself. “Who talks like that?”

“So what do you Propose?” I asked instead.

“An Agenda,” BigFoot said. “We must conduct these Negotiations using an Agenda.”

“Fine,” I said, which I regretted later, beecause for the next three hours and 87 minutes, BigFoot argued about what should bee on the Agenda, and in what order. I mean, as far as I was concerned, the only Item on the Agenda needed to bee getting BigFoot to drop this Nonsense about thinking I should’ve counted everybody’s Shadows in the recent Census. But no. By the time we got through Negotiating the Agenda, it was starting to get Dark outside again, and BigFoot said, “In light of the Late Hour, I propose we resume our Negotiations next week at the Date and Time Specified on the Agenda, and that prior to that time, one of us should undertake to make Copies of the final, printed Agenda to bee Reviewed and Approved at the beeginning of our next Meeting, and which will bee Formally Submitted to the Oversight Subcommittee. I also propose that bee your responsibility.”

“Fine,” I said, beecause I just happen to know somebody who happens to have an old Beerox combination Printer-Scanner-Copier, and I can get that done highly Cheaply.

So then BigFoot got up and left. I decided to stick around at Lousy Louie’s for awhile to catch the Floor Show (which just happened to bee a Mini-Musical Presentation of “Gone With the Wind” featuring the talents of Ultra Violet on her Notorious Ukulele). So that was fun. Unfortunately, when I was getting ready to leave, it was Pointed Out to me that BigFoot had stuck me with the Tab, and since I hadn’t brought any Honey with me, I ended up having to do Dishes for Louie until about Midnight to pay that off. That wasn’t fun.

So anyway, I’ve got a whole bunch of time to get Copies made of the Agenda, so I need to hurry up and go get that done.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

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