Georgie Testifies . . .


So the next time somebody tries to tell me that I hafta conduct a Hive Census, remind me to remember not to forget to say, “Don’t make me do that.”  Seriously now.

For the past, two weeks, I’ve been trapped in the Royal Courtroom as the Around-the-Sundial Hearings regarding Case #553012-87Bee: BigFoot Bee vs the Hive Beeureau of Organic Population Accounting and Possibly Inappropriate Personal Data Acquisition, Georgie A. Bee, et. al”, have been going on.

When the Trial first started, they told me I had to bee Present inside the Royal Courtroom, and wait until I was called to enter my Officially Sworn Testimony - which they finally just did, and which I did, also (gave the Testimony).

Of course, after beeing trapped in that Court Room for over two weeks now with not much Honey or Nectar (I’m amazingly Hungry), and NO Bathroom, I almost passed out and soiled myself by the time they called me to Testify. And how Embarrassing would that bee, not to mention Unsanitary?

You’ve probably guessed that I need to find a Bathroom, but beefore I do, I thought it would only bee the Polite and Informative Thing to Do to let you know what’s been going on for the past couple of weeks. I knew you, my Beeloved Readers, have been Highly Curious, and clinging to the Edge of your Seat in the Excruciating Agony of Not Knowing, probably. So I’ll hold it a little longer, and tell you.

Okay, so as I’m sure you’ll recall, BigFoot Bee has named me in a Frivolous Lawsuit, claiming that my Final Count on the Census was Fraudulent, simply beecause I didn’t count every bee’s Shadow. As I just Testified, he is out of his Mind if he thinks I should’ve Counted Shadows, and, as I just told the Court, there is NO need to bee Questioning my Valid Tabulations. I know my Final Count was Highly Accurate, beecause I have all the Tally Sheets and Taped Interviews. This whole thing is Ridiculous.

Wow do I need to find a Bathroom.  

Anyway, it’s been bad enough that I’ve had to Hold It all this time, but they also stuck me way in the back of the Court Room for the entire Hearing, which meant that I couldn’t hear a dam thing that was beeing said. That was a Drag, especially when they were apparently buzzing about me, which was most of the time. How unfair is that? I don’t think anybody should bee able to talk about you beehind your back in Court, do you? Just the same, I could tell every time they were buzzing about me, beecause I could see BigFoot’s Lawyer, S.O.Bee, pointing his Wing at me sitting there in the Back of the Court, trying to Hold It as I am now, then everybody would turn around and Stare at me. And how uncomfortable was that? I mean, it was bad enough they wouldn’t let me go to the Bathroom. I think everybody Staring at you like that, especially when you have to go to the Bathroom, is Highly Rude, don’t you?

And why wouldn’t they let me go to the Bathroom? I’ll tell you. It was beecause of all the Threatening Protests going on outside the Court. Those have been going on for more than two weeks now, and I hafta say it’s gotten Ridiculous.

As a matter of Fact, the last time I asked them if I could use the Bathroom, a very unpleasant-looking Security Bee told me, “Under Normal Circumstances, we would issue you a Permit, and you would bee allowed to use the Facilities - with Strict Supervision; however,” he kept glaring at me, ”under the Current Circumstances, and to provide for your Safety as well as the Security of the Court, we must Lock and Barricade all Entries and Exits, and deny your Request. It is my Assigned Duty to help assure that Security. So just sit there, bee quiet and stop Complaining.”

“I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t…,” I started to tell him.

“What did I just say?” he said in a way that made me think that wasn’t really a Question.

So I did that.

Anyway, during this whole Mess, bees on both sides of the Issue have been getting more and more Agitated. The Pro BigFoot Swarm (the ones Protesting - the bees who were Mistakenly Convinced that the Census was Fraudulent), have made so much Trouble outside the Court, that we’ve all been trapped inside. With no Bathroom - even though I saw the Judge and the Lawyers leave a few times through a Back Exit, which I don’t think was fair at all. The Buzzing got so loud even the Royal Judge couldn’t hear what was going on, and of course I already had to go to the Bathroom even beefore they had to bring in all those Security Bouncers to deal with the Situation. I gotta say that it was a real Drag when they Barricaded the Doors and wouldn’t let anybody in or out, beecause, as I should mention, I already really, really needed to find a Bathroom in a Major Way. I’m just glad I finally got to Testify without Soiling myself, that the Situation was brought under Control, and I got to leave and so I could get to a Bathroom.

So I gotta go do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!