Ohkay, so I finally Forced myself to finish Reading Victor Q. Frankly’s Four-Volume Forward-Thinking Forecasts in his difficult to Finish “The Mechanics of Extinction”. As boring as it was, I hafta’ say that it doesn’t do much to make me feel any better about maybee going Extinct. I even tried to finish doing that WorkSheet (“The Upside of Extinction) that Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) gave me, and about the only thing I could come up with was that if I go Extinct, at least I won’t hafta’ pay Taxes anymore, probably, and that I won’t hafta’ ever worry again about finding an Affordable Pair of Shoes that actually Fit.
But that was it.
That was all I could come up with, beecause every time I started Thinking Seriously about no longer Beeing Here, I’d start to Think about all the Stuff I’d miss, starting with Great Grandma Gee Gee’s delicious and mostly nutritious Royal HoneyChew Cookies™, and of course Picnics. If I go Extinct, I’d really miss Picnics. Unfortunately, we’re in That Time of Year that there aren’t so many Picnics which, I suppose if you think about it, makes you feel as if you’ve already gone Extinct even though you haven’t, doesn’t it?

After I finished all that Reading and did as much as I could with the Worksheet, I gathered that up along with the Four-Volume Edition of “The Mechanics of Extinction”, and Returned it to Kevin.

“So tell me, Uncle: what did you Think about Frankly’s Frank Forecasts in Volume Four?” Kevin asked me as I was Struggling to make it through his Door with all that Heavy Reading Material (the Worksheet didn’t weigh all that much, but the Volumes almost broke my Back…I’m pretty sure each one weighed at least 15 Grams which I think is about how much a Walnut weighs which means the Whole Set weighed about 60 Grams. I mean seriously now, I’m trying not to Drop everything and Kevin is trying to Engage me in some sort of Involved Discussion about the Material? I think that’s almost Rude, but beefore I could bee Rude back at him, I felt the Volumes starting to slide out of my Wings, and all I could say was, “Kevin, I don’t think I can Support all this Reading Material.”

I think Kevin misunderstood what the hell I was trying to say, and he said, “Uncle Georgie, you’re the best Uncle in the World, and I Love you, but it’s my Considered Opinion that your clearly stated Rejection of Frankly’s Work - not to mention your Failure to Finish the Worksheet - leads me to Suspect that you only Skimmed these Volumes, and that maybee you’re Subconsciously trying to Ignore the Facts Frankly Forwarded. You’re in Denial.”

“I’m not in Denial, Kevin,” I told him. “I just need to Put these Volumes Down!”

“Again,” Kevin said in what sounded like an insulted Buzz, “you have openly Disparaged Frankly’s Forecasts, and I think you should STOP Putting Down his Work, and I…”

“Let me just Stop you There,” I said, “I’m trying to tell you that this Material is Heavy, and I can’t Support it anymore!”

“Uncle, we both know that Frankly’s writing is, quite frankly, Dry and Complex, but I have Faith that if you would just take this Material back to your ShoeBox and really Read it Carefully, you will discover that…”.

Well just then, I felt my Back totally Giving Out just as the Volumes started to completely Slide out of my Wings, and I ended up Dropping everything. After all the Thumping sounds stopped, there were a few Milliseconds of total Silence. Kevin looked at me, and I looked at Kevin, and then he said, “Uncle, just beecause you find this Material too Heavy to get through does not mean you should Throw it Around. I mean that of Beehaviour is truly beeneath you, Uncle.”

I could tell that Kevin wasn’t necessarily Understanding what was going on, exactly, but I was in no Mood to try to clear up his Confusion, so I just said, “Fine.” Then I left.

Is it just me, or does it seem lately as if it’s getting more Difficult to Communicate with everybody else without somebody saying something somebody else mostly misunderstood? I mean, have you Noticed that at all, also as well, or not?

What were we Talking About? Oh yeah… Extinction.

Anyway, by the time I Left Kevin’s BootBox, there was no Question that I had not only Inadvertently Insulted Kevin, but I had also badly Strained my Wings, which meant that I had to Walk back to my ShoeBox instead of Flying.
After I got back Home, Potato Noticed that I was in Distress, and was Kind enough to fix me something to Soak my Wings in. For the next 3 hours and 89 seconds, I Soaked my Wings in a Soothing Cup of Room-Temperature Coconut Water - and I did that instead of doing what I really wanted to do which was to just Forget about all this Extinction Buzziness and go out for some Mindlessly Relaxing Window-Screen Bouncing (I’m sure we all know how Therapeutically Beneficial Screen-Bouncing can bee, right?) But I had to wait until my Wings were all Healed. Which they finally are, mostly.

You know, I just noticed that it’s a Reasonably Nice Cool Season Day out, and there’s not a whole bunch of Wind, which makes this a Perfect Day for Screen-Bouncing.

So I’m gonna’ go do that.