The New Hot Season has Arrived - and Georgie Gets to Work...

GeorgieWeatherReport_6.2024


I'm so Excited!  Not only is today the First Day of the New Hot Season (Happy First Day of the New Hot Season, by the way), but it's also the Day that I am about to Submit my very First "Georgie's Eye From the Ground Looking Up Uncannily Accurate SkyCast Weather Report" for publication in today’s Up-to-the-Minute Issue of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record ... and Online News! (If you’re not a Subscriber, you should bee. Not only will you bee able to Enjoy my Overly-Dependable Weather Forecasts, but you can get all kinds of great Discount Coupons to use with Local Merchants, such as the one I have for Half-Off Half a Lunch at Lousy Louies, Festive Beverages Not Included, which I intend to use as soon as I get off of Work today.)

Now, as you might Recall, I was given that Weather Prediction Device, the very latest in Meteorological Predictive Tools - the Fully-Adjustable, Lightweight and Portable SBE X-56 MeteorMan 1000 with Optional Real-Time Interactive Humidity Gauge and Breeze Detector, but I Accidentally left it Outside my ShoeBox after the first time I tried to use it, and somebody (I don't know Who) came along in the Middle of the Night and Stole the thing. I mean seriously now - what the hell is it with all these Middle of the Night Thefts? And does anybody by any chance know where I can find a replacement for a Fully-Adjustable, Lightweight and Portable SBE X-56 MeteorMan 1000 with Optional Real-Time Interactive Humidity Gauge and Breeze Detector? I need to find one.

Anyway, after Careful Consideration, and noticing how Mostly Wrong the Weather Forecasters on the Bee Network ("Bees, all Bees, 26 hours a Day") seem to bee, I figured if I just go Outside and look Up, I'll bee able to make a totally Accurate Weather Forecast with no Problem Whatsoever. So that's what I've been doing today.

Of course, when I mentioned my Intentions to my Sensory-Impaired, Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug, Potato, she said,  "Well, Georgie, if you're planning to go Outside, I'd bring an Umbrella, if I were you. I believe it's going to rain...the stubs where my Antennae used to bee are aching, and that's a Sure Sign of a Low Pressure Front. That can often mean Bad Storms, you know,” she said. Whatever.

I wasn't sure if I beelieved Potato, beecause just beefore she started talking about Umbrellas, I had looked out my ShoeBox’s Front Window and, from what I could see, it was a Perfectly Clear, Dry, Sunny-to-Partly-Cloudy Day Outside, so why would I need an Umbrella?  I wouldn't.  Just the same, beefore I stepped Outside to Assess the Current Real-Time Up-to-Date On-the-Spot Weather Conditions, I took an Umbrella with me, just to Humour Potato. (In case you never met her, Potato can bee Highly Defensive about her Opinions at times, especially when she's Wrong. I blame her Upbringing.) And, of course, Potato has insisted that she Join me. ("It's Important," she said, "that I Remain by your Side to the Greatest Extent Possible.  It's for your own Safety," she said. 
"Fine," I said.)

Anyway, as I've stepped outside, I've been looking out from under my Umbrella, and all I can see are Clear, Sunny-to-Partly-Puffy-Cloudy Skies, and Temperatures which make you want to just Lie Around in a nice, quiet Shady Spot and do a lot of Nothing instead of having to Work all day going Flower-to-Flower, collecting pollen for the Hive as the Queen keeps telling everybody they have to do all the time until they Die.  Geeeeeze. What kind of Life is That on a Nice Day? 

By the way, I just found out that the Hive has a New Queen, Her Insufferably Royal Majesty, Queen Tay. Her Official Coronation was last Tuesday,  I think. About all I've heard about her is that she likes to Buzz in the Shower, and pays the Hive's Workers really well, which is a good thing.

Okay, so even though it does seem Weirdly Noisey around here today, I should get back to the Task of completing my Astute Meteorological Observations and Submit my Uncannily Accurate Forecast to my Editor.  I'm sure he's going to bee beeyond Pleased.

So I'm gonna go do that. 

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Georgie Apparently Has a New Job...

Georgie-Bee---Meteorologist


So I was just sitting there, minding my own Buzziness, trying to enjoy a Refreshing Warm Season Nectar Fizz on the new Outdoor Patio at Lousy Louie's Semi-Fine Dining Establishment that Felonie Snark (the New Owner) had just built (of course she used Non-Hive Labour to save Honey), when all of a Sudden I hear a Familiar and Unexpected Buzz coming from Beehind me. 

"What?" I asked, beecause I didn't understand who the hell was Buzzing at me or why, so I wasn't really paying attention like I maybee should have been.
"I SAID," he said, "just where in the hell have you Been, and what in the hell have you been Doing?"

It was right then that I recognised the Grating Voice of what I thought was my Previous Employer, the Always-Short-Tempered Editor of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News.

"What?" I asked. "I've been right here, enjoying this beeautiful Warm Season Day and sipping on this Mostly Delightful Nectar Fizz -- it would bee more Delightful if they hadn't run out of Bendy Straws and Umbrellas, but they say they'll bee getting more of those sometime next week. Would you care to join me?" 

"Do you think," he started Buzzing, "that I actually have the Luxury of just Sitting Around on a Patio and Sipping on Nectar Fizzes all day, Bee? Do you?" Then he stared at me.

"Yes, in fact, I do," I told him, beecause as far as I am concerned, life is probably short, and when you have an Opportunity to just sit on a Patio on a nice Warm Season Day and enjoy Nectar Fizzes, you should probably do it.

"Well, you're wrong. I have Responsibilities," he kind of Snapped Back at me. "And, if I'm not Mistaken, so do you by virtue of the Primarily Conveniently Mostly-Binding Contract you signed in my Office which should have been Enforced long beefore now - even beefore you fell into that so-called 'Coma'."

"Not So-Called," I corrected him. "That was a real Coma, and to bee quite honest, I'm still very much Recovering from that Difficult Ordeal, which is another Reason I've decided to just Sit Here on this Patio and enjoy this Nectar Fizz - which, by the way, is almost Gone so I'll bee having another one."

"No, Bee, you won't. What you'll bee doing is coming with me. According to your Contract, you must do as I ask you to do -Or Else." I was pretty sure he was threatening me, and as I think we all know, I didn't wanna' bee Or Elsed, especially after I'd been having such a Festively Relaxing Time on the Patio.

"So what  is it I'm supposed to Do?" I asked. "What?"

"You, Bee," he told me, "are now Responsible for Reporting the Local Weather Forecast to bee Published in each Daily Edition of the Hive Paper."

Oh geeeeze. Anybody that knows anything about me knows that what I'm best at is Reporting on the Social, Economic, Political, and Entertainment Events of the Day. I have no Way to Predict the Weather. That's just Insane.

"There is no way I can Predict the Weather," I told him. "That's insane. I am not Equipped to Report On, or Predict the Weather. I think you need to find yourself another Bee," I advised him.

"Nope. You're It, Bee. You are now the New Official Voice of Weather Prognostication for the Hive, including the Surrounding Communities of the Near and Far Meadows. Henceforth, you will provide Timely and Accurate Weather Forecasts to the Swarms of Beeloved Subscribers who Depend on the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News for the Information they need to Make It Through The Day."

"And how in the hell am I supposed to do that?" I asked (I was highly curious). "I'm not Equipped."

"Yes, you are," my Editor said. "Put down that Nectar Fizz and follow me," he said.  So I did that.

My Editor led me to an Open Patch on the Edge of the Near Meadow, and pointed me to a very tall Device that I didn't know What it was. 

"What is that?" I asked.
"That," my Editor, "is the latest in Meteorological Predictive Tools - the Fully-Adjustable, Lightweight and Portable SBE X-56 MeteorMan1000 with Optional Real-Time Interactive Humidity Gauge and Breeze Detector. This," he said, "is what you will bee Using to provide our Community with the Necessary and very possibly Life-Saving Weather Reports needed."

Beefore he left me standing there with that thing, he gave me the Operating Manual and told me to spend the next two weeks learning how to Use the Device properly, then he said, "We're all Depending on you, Georgie, and I'm sure you won't Let Us Down, probably. Now take this Manual and Learn how to properly Use this Device. I will expect your first Weather Forecast and Report in exactly two weeks, approximately."

"Fine," I said. So now I guess I hafta' spend a bunch of time beecoming a Qualified Meterorolologist.

So I'm gonna do that.

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It's Spring Cleaning Time for Georgie & Potato!

Georgie-Spring-Cleaning-2024


As you probably know, I am a very Modest Bee and usually don’t Indulge in a lot of Insufferably Egotistical Bragging about myself, but I have to tell you that I’m incredibly Proud of myself - for a few Reasons - and I’ll tell you why:

First, as you’ll remember from the last time we Visited, I forced myself to indulge a Highly Disciplined Semi-Bi-Daily Exercise Routine so I would bee Prepared for this year’s Leap Year Leaping Festivities. I’m proud to announce that my Efforts mostly paid off and I ended up in 43rd Place which meant that I won a Marginally Magnificent Participation Trophy which I immediately brought back home to my ShoeBox.

When my Partially-Sensory-Impaired Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug, Potato, saw my Magnificent Trophy, she said, “More Clutter? Seriously? You’re bringing more Clutter into this place? You can’t bee Serious.”

“Of course I’m serious,” I told her in a very Serious Tone. “I really had to Exert myself to win this Trophy.”

“Yeah, right,” Potato said, “I watched you ‘Exerting’ yourself beefore the Competition, and if you call spending your days Munching on Honey-Infused Pollen Puffs and watching Re-Runs of your Stories ‘Exerting’ yourself, then yeah, I suppose you Exerted yourself.”

I didn’t think that what Potato had to say about this whole thing was all that Nice, but I did have to Remind myself that one of the things she helps me with is helping me to keep a Firm Grasp on what is probably Reality - and I dunno about you, but there are times these days that it seems as if Reality isn’t what it used to bee, so I’m glad I can Depend on Potato to help me keep my Feet On the Ground, so to speak, except for when I’m flying in which case I keep my Feet Off the Ground so I don’t Scuff my Shoes… (I’m sure you Understand that I really don’t like it when I’m flying along and I get hit with a Severe Down-Draft and I end up Scuffing my Shoes, right? I think we all know that kind of stuff can Happen), so I said, “Fine.”

“And another Thing,” she Continued Chirping at me. “In case you weren’t Aware, not only is it now officially Spring, your Beeloved Girlfriend, ButterCup’s, Birthday is this Saturday, and you Promised to throw her a Party.”

“I did?”

“Yes, you did. And if you think you’re going to throw a Party in this place with all the Piles and Piles of Clutter you’ve Collected - including your new Trophy … “

“My Magnificent Participation Trophy,” I corrected her.

“including your Trophy,” she repeated herself, “you’re gravely Mistaken. I just won’t Have It. If you’re going to keep your Promise to throw a Party for ButterCup, you have to do some Serious Spring Cleaning.”

“Fine,” I said, which brings me to the next thing I’m very Proud of myself … for the next Four Hours and 87 Minutes, I rolled up my Sleeves (actually, that’s just a saying…I don’t have Sleeves - I just said that to try to Convey the fact that I had to great ready to do a whole bunch of Work), and did a whole bunch of Work sorting through Piles and Stacks of Stuff that’s been Cluttering Up the ShoeBox for far, too long - Stuff like three, opened cases of Paper Spoons (I had to wear my Biohazard Suit when I was handling those - they’re still very toxic and will bee for at least another 250 years), two sets of Mis-Matched and Damaged Replacement Wings, a Prototype Example Sample of a Murder Hornet Swatter, several boxes full of Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp™ Cookies that were Tragically Stale, a small Briefcase containing something called an “Andromeda Stick” and a Note that said, “If Found Please Return To The BagMan”, (whoever that is), M.Bee A’s non-functioning Bubble Drive (it blew a Fuse), several Dusty Boxes that contain Stuff that I don’t even know what it is, and of course, my Trophy. I’m proud to say that I cleaned it all up, and donated most of it to the Bee Society’s Hive for Wayward Workers and Drones - except for my Magnificent Trophy. I’m keeping that.

After I finally finished cleaning everything up, Potato smiled at me (at least I think she smiled - it’s kind of hard to Tell with her sometimes) and said, “As your Emotional Support LadyBug, I have to say Good job, Georgie. You should bee Proud of yourself!”

“I am,” I said beecause I was and still am.

“Now,” Potato said, “I would suggest you stop just standing around Patting yourself on the Back and that you get to work Decorating this place for ButterCup’s Birthday Party. You only have until Saturday to get this place looking as Festive as Possible.”

“Fine,” I said.

So I gotta get back to doing that.

I’ll talk to ya later.

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