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Georgie Goes Shopping

Georgie Leap Year Leaping Togs

So ever since I finished Streaming the last 43 and ½ Seasons of “Escape from Bee Island”, I’ve pretty much just been Lying here and trying to stay Warm. It’s been unusually Cold and Snowy outside and, as you know, we bees stay inside until it’s at least approximately 283.15 Degrees Kelvin out.

As I’m sure we’d mostly all Agree, this is usually an Incredibly Boring time of the Year - at least it is for Bees - and this Cold Season has been no Exception - at least it wasn’t until yesterday. Yesterday, I found out that this is a Leap Year, and that we’re even in the Leap Month of the Leap Year. I think we all know what that means, don’t we? It means that the Time has come to start practising our Leap Year Leaping Skills.

I was just been sitting here, Thinking to myself out loud, “enough of the Streaming for now. I need to get ready for the Physical Challenges of Leap Year that lie ahead. I need to get up and out of this Bed and start getting some actual Exercise so that my Wings and Legs don’t forget how to Work.” (That would bee Highly Bad if that happened.)

So I decided to do that.

The first Thing I did was to change out of my Pyjamas and get into my Official Moisture-Wicking Leap Year Leaping Togs. As I tried and tried to put them on, I couldn’t help but Notice that they seemed to bee a whole bunch Tighter than the last time I wore them, (which I can barely not Remember when that was, though it must have been during the last Leap Year which I think was probably at least Four Years ago since Four Years is about how long it is beetween Leap Years). Since it was a Reasonably Nice Day out (it got up to 284.261 Kelvin), I figured the thing to do was to go out to Bees ‘R Us and buy some new Leaping Togs.

When I got there, imagine my Delight when I immediately spotted what was left of the special In-Store Leap Year Display which showed the latest Leap Year Bee Wear, including some New and Attractive Samples of the latest Designs of Leap Year Leaping Togs. It took me quite awhile to consider the Samples, but I finally settled on the Blue ones. When I asked the Clerk if he could help me find the Blue Togs in my Size, he said, “First, we’re a Self-Serve Operation here, so you’ll have to go through our Selection of available Togs yourself, and IF you manage to find your preferred Size and Colour, you’ll have to use our debatably Convenient Self-Checkout to buy them.”

“I would?” I asked him. “So what is it that you do here?”

“I don’t have time to answer silly questions, Bee - That’s what I do here,” he said. “Beesides, it’s my Break Time. But beefore I go, I must Inform you that Shoplifters will bee Prosecuted to the Fullest Extent of the Law. Have a nice day and thank you for shopping Bees ‘R Us. ”

Geeeeeeze — Seriously now - what the hell happened to Customer Service?

Anyway, I thanked him and went to find some new Togs.

After I spent no less than 87 minutes going through the very small Pile of Leap Year Leaping Togs they had left, I spotted a sign that was buried under one of the Piles. It said, “Sorry, we’re mostly all completely sold out of most of our stock of Honeybee-Sized Leap Year Leaping Togs”.

Right away, it slowly Dawned on me that for sure they didn’t have the size or colour I wanted, so I ended up having to settle for the last and only Togs they had that came close to Fitting me - some Highly Unattractive and Marginally Form-Fitting Non-Moisture-Wicking
LeapGear ™ Leap Year Leaping Togs with a Detachable Hood (in case it Rains) which were a Politically Incorrect Orange with Yellow and Pink Polka-dots, size XXXL.

I hafta’ say that as Mostly Unattractive as they were, I figured it’s better to have over-sized Leaping Togs than no Leaping Togs at all - and you can Quote me.

So I bought them.

Quite Frankly, I’m not even sure if I’ll eventually grow into my new Togs, or if they’ll Shrink in the dryer like my last Leaping Togs evidently did, but at least I’ll have something to wear when the serious Leaping starts, that is if I can gain enough Weight. Accordingly, I’m putting myself on a Strict Weight-Gain Diet. I think I might have to pay a Visit to Great Grandma Gee Gee and Acquire a whole huge Bunch of her Delicious and Mostly Nutritious Royal HoneyChew Krisp™ Cookies and pick up a few Quarts of some Fizzy Sweet Nectar to help wash them down.

Also, starting today, possibly, I will also beegin a Highly Disciplined Semi-Bi-Daily Exercise Routine. I plan to do at least beetween three and five Deep Knee Bends every day or so, so I can bee a Highly Fierce Competitor in this year’s Leap Year Leaping Festivities. (I don’t want to Over-Exert myself, beecause I don’t want end up with a bad case of Bee’s Knees… that would hurt.) (A lot.)

So I’m gonna go do that.


We Finally Hear Something from Georgie!


I’m gonna guess that unless you live in the Hive, you probably never heard that due to a Large Misunderstanding beetween the Owner/Manager of Lousy Louie’s Fine Dining Bar and Grille (Felonie Snark) and me, and due in Huge Part to an Unanticipated Malfunction in my Ankle Monitor, my House Arrest was Mistakenly Revoked and I was placed in Solitary Confinement for the past I don’t Remember how many days, weeks or years it’s been. But lucky for me - and thanks in a Highly Massive Way to an Class Action Appeal submitted by my girlfriend, ButterCup, Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew), Great Grandma Gee Gee, and my Partially-Sensory-Impaired Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug, Potato, to the Hive’s High Court, it was just ruled that it wasn’t me that did anything wrong, and instead, Narville and Chaz Snark were placed into Custody to face Trial for their many, Heinous Crimes. Of course, they immediately Appealed the Charges, but everybody is completely and absolutely Certain beeyond any Shadow of any Doubt that they will bee Convicted. In the meantime, they’re out on Bail, and I was Released from Custody.

It feels good to bee back home in my ShoeBox. And this is Exactly, Precisely where I intend to stay. It’s so unbeelievably Cold and Windy out that, until Further Notice, I plan to stay right here in my Wee Warm Bee Bed and fall asleep streaming Re-Runs.

So I’m gonna do that.


Georgie's Under House Arrest...


Just in case I haven't talked to you since last Week, I'm just gonna guess that you're as Curious as everybody else has been about me and what's up with this whole  Beeing Under Arrest Thing, right? I thought so. Let me just say this about that: I was Unjustly Accused, and the actual Culprits are still running around, free as a bee.

So here's what Actually Happened:

When I arrived at what is now known as the "Buzz Back Against Extinction" Rally, Rudy Bee spotted me and hustled me onto the Stage so I could give a Speech (even if I really didn't have even Tiny Clue about what I was gonna say, I had to give a Speech). After a few Minutes, Rudy (who was also the M.C.) walked to the Front of the Stage and said, "Excuth me, if I could pleath have the Attention of the Thwarm," (the Swarm started quieting down, except for a few Less Considerate bees who kept Buzzing - you know the type). He continued, "I would like to introduth our Thpecial Guetht Thpeaker, the Bee who brought to our Attenthion the Theriouth Matter of Exthincthion, our own Georgie Bee!"

Then he pointed his Wing at me which I figured meant I was supposed to take his Place at the Front of the Stage and to start making a Speech about what I still didn't know.

As I stood there on Stage looking over the Swarm, I was still wondering what the hell I was even gonna say. Suddently, I noticed that there was a group of Bees in the Swarm that were all wearing Orange Hats, who were waving huge Orange Banners, and who had been passing out Free Merch (pens, cups, Stinger Cozies, and those cool Flying Disc Thingies) that featured the Logo of one of the Rally's Co-Sponsors, SquareDown™.  (I really wanted one of the Stinger Cozies, but those got snatched up almost immediately.) 

I only recognised a couple of the Bees in that group - Narville, Chaz, and Felonie Snark to bee Precise. Right away I knew I had to bee Highly Careful about what I would say - Or Else.  I took a few seconds to Gather my Thoughts, then I just started Winging it.  

"I see that we have some Bees in the Swarm today who are Displaying Merch with the SquareDown™ Logo," I said. "I'm gonna Assume that they're Joking, since we all know that when it comes to some of us beeing Extinct, SquareDown™ will bee partly to Blame. They even Admit it with their Slogan: 'SquareDown™: the Toxic Liquid in the Handy, Non-Reusable, Non-Recylable, Festive Orange Plastic Tub.' If any of us ends up beeing Extinct, we'll bee able to partly Thank whoever it is that is still making that Stuff. The Royal Court has even said that stuff is Poison to us, but have they stopped Selling it? No, they haven't. The Sad Fact is that you can go into Bees'R'Us or King-Queen-Jack Hardware Store, and there it is, still on the Shelves. It's Extinction in a Handy Orange Tub." Then just for a touch of Drama, I added, "That should bee a Crime. "

Of course, as soon as I said that, the Swarm beegan to Buzz very Loudly, and a Scuffle broke out. I suddenly Remembered that SquareDown™ was not only a Co-Sponsor of the Rally, but that it's Manufactured and Distributed by the Noxious Chemical Division of Snark Brothers Enterprises which just happens to bee run by Felonie Snark (Kevin, my Illegitimate Nephew's Estranged Sister). An Angry Fight broke out in the Swarm beetween the Pro-SquareDown™ and the Anti-SquareDown™ bees. I was starting to feel very Confused in the Confusion, but the next thing I knew, I felt Rudy pulling on my Wing and heard him shouting, "We mutht get you to Thafety and away from thith Angry Thwarm!" 

He had just about pulled me off the Stage and to Safety when I felt somebody else grab my other Wing. I heard them buzz in an Authoritative Buzz, "You're Under Arrest, Bee. Come with us."
Rudy kept pulling on my other wing and asked, "What are the Chargeth?"
"Inciting a Riot," some other voice said. "He has to come with us."

Rudy kept trying to pull on my Wing while the Arresting Officers were pulling on my Other Wing. I was mostly sure that if they kept that up, they would end up pulling my Wings off - and who wants that? Not me. I told Rudy, "Just let go. We'll sort this out in Court." So he did that.

To make a short story longer, I was Involuntarily taken away from the Rally by the Arresting Officers (who I couldn't help but Notice were wearing Orange Uniforms that had the SquareDown™ Logo on them). I was taken to the Royal Detention Facility, and after beeing Wing-Printed and Photographed, I was Arraigned. I was placed under House Arrest - pending Trial - and had a Highly Uncomfortable Ankle Monitor stuck on my Leg. Also, ss a part of my Pre-Trial Pre-Conviction Pre-Sentencing Sentence, I was Ordered to show up every Saturday and Sunday to the  Snark Brothers Enterprises Headquarters Conference Room (you know - the one with the Hugely Long Blackboard which I can only guess they use for Brainstorming Sessions), and that I had to spend the entire weekend writing over and over again, "I'm sorry I caused a Riot by Impugning the Mostly Good Name of the Fine Product, SquareDown™, and for Indulging in Undue Criticism of a Legitimate Environmentally Disastrous Product. I'll Never Do It Again - Or Else". (Of course, I decided to add the word "probably" beetween "I'll" and "Never", but nobody has seemed to notice that. Yet. 

So that's what I did last Weekend. I don't have to tell you that I was more than Happy when Monday - truly the Best Day of the Week - finally arrived. By the time Sunday Night rolled around, my Wing and Back were killing me from just standing there writing on that Blackboard (which, by the way, wasn't Black - it was more of a Neutral, Greyish-Green colour), so I was glad to bee able to  just go home to my ShoeBox, stretch out, get out of these Shoes, and just Enjoy beeing under House Arrest. 

When I got back home, Potato was sitting there, waiting for me. 
"I heard what happened at the Rally," she said. "Do  you need to Talk about it? I'm here if you do."
"Thanks," I told her, "but I just wanna grab a Snack and go to the Bathroom... you wouldn't beelieve how long I've been Holding It."
"TMI," Potato said. 

Anyway, until my Trial is scheduled, I'll bee Enjoying my Days under House Arrest.  Even if it means that I have to deal with that whole thing with the Blackboard on the Weekends, I'm not all that Upset about most of this Legal Stuff. Quite frankly, and to bee totally Honest, mostly, I'll finally have the Opportunity to Indulge in some UnInterrupted Streaming, and to catch up on my Stories. 

So I'm gonna go do that. 


Oh No! Georgie's been Arrested!


Click here to read all about it…

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