Georgie's first Sales Report doesn't go all that well...

GeorgieLeaning


Yeah, so I had to go back to Narville Snark’s Office the other day to deliver my first Sales Report for those Asian Hornet Swatters (you know, those things you can use to swat Asian Hornets). I proudly gave him my first Sales Sheet, but he didn’t seem Overly Pleased for some reason.


“Bee,” he said.

“Yes, I am,” I said.

“Don’t gets cute wit me, Bee. Deese numbers ain’t lookin’ dat great, and dat’s puttin tings mildly-like. I’s Deeply Disappointed in yous Job Puhformance, Bee. Dis won’t do.”

“But I did sell three Swatters,” I told him. “I sold two to the Hive, and one to my Great Grandma Gee Gee, beecause she felt sorry for me, so...”

“So... tree Swatters ain’t enough. Dat means we’s gots ourselves a Serious Problem. Yous was supposed ta sell more dan tree of dose tings. As I tolds yous beefore, dat won’t do. I don’t tink dis Arrangement is Woiking Out.”

Then he started reaching his Wing into his Inside Jacket Pocket, where there was a large Bee-Bee Gun-Shaped Bulge - and we all know what that means. I had to think Highly Fast beefore I got Or Elsed, so I said, “If I may,”.

“If yous may what, bee?” he said.

I wasn’t exactly sure what I was gonna May What, but I knew I didn’t wanna get shot with a Bee-Bee Gun. That would hurt. A lot. After a few seconds of pulling on my Antennae for Inspiration, and stalling for time, I thought of something.

“It’s a problem with Image,” I told him. “Our Would-Bee Customers don’t feel Inspired to buy these Questionably Fine Swatters, beecause they don’t feel all that threatened by something called an ‘Asian Hornet’. When you hear ‘Asian Hornet’, do you feel like you need a Swatter?”

Narville just stared at me and didn’t say anything, so I said, “Neither do I.”

“So, whats does yous suggest, Bee? And dis bettah bee good,” he said.

“I think we should rename your Dubiously Fine Product. We should call it the ‘Marginally Deluxe Murder Hornet Swatter’ - beecause that’s another name for them - ‘Murder Hornets’,” I said. “Who wouldn’t want to have a Marginally Deluxe Murder Hornet Swatter close by when you need one? I would think most everybody would need to buy several of these, probably.”

Then I just stood there, waiting for him to say something.

He didn’t say anything for what seemed a very long time, but just kept staring at me. Then he got a not-all-that-Comforting Smile of his on his face (you know the one), and finally said, “Moider Hornet Swatter? Moider Hornet...Moider Hornet...yeah, I likes dat, bee. I thinks yous is onto sometin.”

Wow did I feel Relieved, especially when Narville pulled his Wing out of his Jacket at pointed it at me (I was amazingly glad it wasn’t holding any sort of Weapon or anything).

“Okay, bee. Yous’s got one, more chance at dis, and da next Sales Report bettah bee good, or...”

“Or Else?” I interrupted him.

“It’s good dat wes understands one anudder,” he said.
“I’ll sees yous back here in One Week, and dese Sales Numbuhs bettah bee bettah.”

Then he said, “Now get outta my Office.”

So I did that. (That guy scares the hell out of me.)

I was glad that Meeting went so well, and felt Highly Relieved that Narville Snark let me leave without tying my Antennae in Knots (or something worse). I was also glad that the Meeting didn’t take long, beecause that gave me more time to grab some Lunch, and make it in plenty of time for the first Session of that Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Seminar ButterCup and Fleur signed me up for. There was absolutely, positively no way I wanted to bee late for that, mostly.

As it turns out, though, I didn’t quite make it to the first Session, beecause I decided that I’d grab something to eat at Lousy Louie’s. I was really Hungry and, as I think everybody knows, Louie makes the best Pollen Burgers anywhere around here. I figured I could eat, then try out my new Sales Pitch to anybody that was there.

When I got to Lousy Louie’s, the place was packed, but I managed to get a Table, then start trying out my new Sales Pitch. Of course, I didn’t sell any Swatters, but my Potential Customers kept buying me Nectartinis to enjoy with my Lunch (“it’s the least we can do, just beecause you seem to bee trying so hard,” they said). After all that, it was everything I could do to just get back home to my ShoeBox and go to sleep, which I did. That Lunch made me feel Highly Tired for some reason. I was way too tired to make it to any Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Seminar, as much as I was looking forward to that. Mostly.

So today, I hafta’ go find out when the next Session is, and make sure I remember not to forget to remind myself to write that on my Calendar, which I need to go find.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature

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