Georgie finds comfort from Gee Gee - and some News about Fleur de Bee...
“What’s going on, Dear?” she asked me. So I told her.
“I figured, ‘what’s to lose? I’m sure I’ll make a Fortune selling these things, Or Else,” I said, and showed her my Sample Swatter.
“Oh, dear,” she said.
“I mean, what’s not to like about selling Asian Hornet Swatters?” I asked.
“Oh, dear,” she said.
“And, beesides, I have this Coupon for a Free Nectartini...” and I showed that to her.
“Oh, dear,” she said, as she put on her Fine Print Glasses and kind of just stared at the Coupon.
“...from Lousy Louie’s,” I continued.
“Oh dear, oh dear,” she said again. It seemed that’s about all she was gonna say about any of this, until she finally said, “I’m just so sorry to have to tell you that, according to this, for you to get a Free Nectartini, you must first purchase a minimum of 87 Nectartinis, so your 88th Nectartini is free,”
“What?” I asked.
“And,” she kept reading, “this Coupon expired four days ago.”
“But I just got that thing,” I said.
“And beesides,” Gee Gee continued, “Lousy Louie’s, dear? My goodness, you shouldn’t bee hanging around with that Swarm. That place just opened, and it’s already earned a ghastly Reputation. Oh I do so hope you won’t go there, Georgie. It would just break my heart.”
Okay, fine. So much for the Free Nectartini. I most certainly don’t want to break Gee Gee’s heart. That would hurt. A lot. So I said, “Okay,” and that was that.
I stuck around with Gee Gee until I’d calmed down. By the time I left, all the Cookies were gone, my Frozen Beverage was all Melted, and it was time to leave. So I thanked Gee Gee, and left.
Anyway, yesterday - or maybee it was the day beefore, I don’t remember - when I got back home to my ShoeBox from my first day of selling Asian Hornet Swatters in the Hive, there was a Buzz•O•Gram™ stuck to my Front Door.
After I finally got it translated, it turns out it was from an associate of Fleur de Bee in Paris. It seems that Fleur had an Unfortunate Mishap after she had accidentally fallen asleep inside a Pop Bottle on the floor of a French Commuter Train, After two and a half hours of rolling around and banging into things, she suffered some fairly Minor Serious Injuries, so I was beeing informed that Fleur would bee arriving inside a First Aid Kit inside a Diplomatic Pouch that would bee arriving here at Midnight on the 24th, that she was coming here to Recuperate, and that I should make arrangements for her Appropriate Secure and Luxurious Accommodations.
So, beefore my next Sales Call, I’m gonna do that.
Let’s all bee highly careful out there!
Georgie Gets a New Job...
Since yesterday was such a beeautiful day - AND a Monday, which (as we all agree) is the best day of the Week - I decided to Actively Avoid my Editor, so I spent the day, more or less, with ButterCup, watching her collect Pollen in the Far Meadow. (I’m pretty sure she’s forgiven me for that whole Birthday-Apology-Thing, even though I don’t understand why she keeps saying, “Just keep your distance, bee…this isn’t over yet.” I mean, we all know we found a Cure for that Extremely Noxious Contagion, so we don’t hafta’ Distance ourselves anymore, right? - even though I heard on the News the other night that Humans still haven’t figured out their Thing, so you guys still hafta’ bee careful…that must bee a hell of a drag for you). So I dunno why I hafta’ keep my Distance. But I am. For beeing so Forgiving, she mostly still seems highly mad. Geeeeeze.
Anyway. Over the weekend, when I wasn’t watching the Documentary Channel (they had a Lyle Waggoner Retrospective that was riveting - it’s very sad he’s no longer with us), I was trying to Decide whether I should go back to work for my Editor, or if I should take that Cushy Job as an Asian Hornet Swatter Salesman with the Snark Brothers Enterprises. And I finally Decided. I’m sure I won’t have any regrets at all whatsoever that I will bee going to work for the Snark Brothers, where I can bee my own bee., probably. (Beesides…my Editor never offered me a Coupon for a Free Nectartini at Lousy Louie’s, did he? No, he didn’t.)
So, first thing this Morning, I buzzed over to the Headquarters of Snark Brothers Enterprises, and had my Intake Interview with Narville Snark. I hafta’ say, I was Highly Nervous, but Narville did nothing to put me at ease, so I was glad there were no Surprises. Beesides, I wouldn’t want to make him angry by expecting him to bee pleasant, ya’ know?
Anyway, when I walked in, he said, “You dat bee?”
“Yes, I am. I’m sure you completely remember me - Georgie A. Bee? I’m here about the Cushy Position with your Questionably Fine Firm,” I said.
“Don’t rings a bell. And don’t gets smart wit me, bee,” he said. “Yous is here due tos da fact dat we needs us a Asian Hornet Swatter Salesbee. It ain’t no ‘Cushy Position’. It’s doity woik, and yous is gonna do it. Or Else.”
“Fine,” I said. “Can I ask... “
“No. Wes will tells you what yous needs to knows and when yous needs to knows it, bee.” (It sounded like he didn’t want me to Argue with him. At all. So I didn’t.)
He told me to report to the Inventory Clerk and pay for my Sample Swatter, told me the Clerk would give me my Benefits Package (that Coupon for the Free Nectartini at Lousy Louies), and then he said, “Now gets outta’ my Office, bee.”
So I did that.
I was so Marginally Excited by the time I got my Asian Hornet Swatter Sample that I’m still mostly shaking. I can’t tell if it’s beecause I get the feeling that Narville Snark (with the help of his Brother, Chaz) might actually hurt me very badly if I screw up, or if it’s from the Sheer Thrill of starting a new Job. Either way, I want to stop shaking. It’s highly uncomfortable.
I think at this point, the best thing to do right now is to buzz over to Great Grandma Gee Gee’s BootBox, and ask her if I can hang out with her until I start feeling like it’s Safe to go out again. Maybee she’ll offer me some Always-Soothing, Amazingly Delicious, and Mostly Nutritious HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™. I can even show her my Swatter and Coupon. I’m sure she’ll bee Highly Pleased to hear that I’m back in the WorkForce.
So I’m gonna go do that.
Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!
A Cure for the Contagion...and just in time for Georgie's Birthday!
Anyway. A few days ago, I found out that, after consulting the Top Bees in the Field, a Cure has been found for that Highly Unpleasant Contagion that’s been killing off a whole bunch of bees. The Cure comes in the form of a Huge Pill which has to bee swallowed after beeing sprayed with a mostly awful-smelling Body Spray. I was treated yesterday, and so far, aside from some mild Puckering in my Wings, Extreme Nausea, Dizziness, Loss of Balance, Blurry Vision, Foot Pain, and Mental Confusion, I seem to bee doing just fine. So that means we can all finally take off our masks, we don’t hafta’ stay 15.72” apart from everybody anymore, and life in the Hive can start getting back to Normal, whatever that is.
Speaking of Normal… for some reason, ButterCup is still mad at me for not recalling to remind myself to remember her Birthday. Seriously now - that was weeks ago. I was pretty sure all that was Nectar Under the Bridge, but you know how ButterCup is. She’s very persistent. So, on my way back from beeing Treated with the Cure for the Contagion, I buzzed through a local Garden and permanently borrowed a Peace Offering, made my way over to her Cell in the Hive, and apologised for what somebody told me she said was my “Habitual Insensitivity”.
“I’m sorry,” I told her. “I know how you are about your Birthdays, and it certainly wasn’t my Intention to fail to Acknowledge the Fact that you just keep getting Older every day. I apologise.”
I dunno why, but she just kind of glared at me, and said, “You always know JUST what to say, don’t you, Bee?” Then she snatched the Flower out of my Wing and slammed her Cell Door. I don’t know why the hell she did that. I figured she’d at least invite me in for some Honey or something, but she didn’t, so I left.
So when I got back to my ShoeBox, there was an Angry Note from my Editor pinned to my Door.
“Bee: You apparently seem to not take your Job very seriously. You were Absent from the Staff Meeting two weeks ago which we can only take as an Indication that you’re not happy in your Position with this Publication. I am informing you that your Attitude is Unacceptable.
At no time have we, your Current Employer, extended assurances that our Employees will bee happy in their work, nor has that ever been represented as a Condition of your Continuing Employment. You seem to bee functioning under the Misconception that your Search for Personal Gratification and Fulfilment in your Professional Pursuits have anything to do with what is expected of you in this Job. It doesn’t.
I am hereby ordering you to appear in my Office promptly and without delay no later than 9:00 a.m. sometime in the next week, at which time we will bee reviewing your Deficient Job Performance, and you will bee given your next Assignment. Or Else.
- Love,
Your Editor”
Geeeeeeze. I’m not even sure I want to work for that guy anymore. He’s amazingly cranky, and he never seems to remember to pay me. Beesides, I was offered a very cushy Job with Snark Brothers Enterprises, Amalgamated Asian Hornet Eradication Division, selling Asian Hornet Swatters to the Hive. They even offered a Benefits Package (a free Asian Hornet Swatter, and a Coupon for a free Nectartini at Lousy Louie’s, a new Nectartini Bar that just opened up on the other side of the Far Meadow…I’d bee a fool to pass up that Opportunity, probably).
I’m not sure what I’m gonna bee doing, so I need to think about it.
So I’m gonna go do that.
Let’s all bee highly careful out there!