Georgie Gets a New Job...
Since yesterday was such a beeautiful day - AND a Monday, which (as we all agree) is the best day of the Week - I decided to Actively Avoid my Editor, so I spent the day, more or less, with ButterCup, watching her collect Pollen in the Far Meadow. (I’m pretty sure she’s forgiven me for that whole Birthday-Apology-Thing, even though I don’t understand why she keeps saying, “Just keep your distance, bee…this isn’t over yet.” I mean, we all know we found a Cure for that Extremely Noxious Contagion, so we don’t hafta’ Distance ourselves anymore, right? - even though I heard on the News the other night that Humans still haven’t figured out their Thing, so you guys still hafta’ bee careful…that must bee a hell of a drag for you). So I dunno why I hafta’ keep my Distance. But I am. For beeing so Forgiving, she mostly still seems highly mad. Geeeeeze.
Anyway. Over the weekend, when I wasn’t watching the Documentary Channel (they had a Lyle Waggoner Retrospective that was riveting - it’s very sad he’s no longer with us), I was trying to Decide whether I should go back to work for my Editor, or if I should take that Cushy Job as an Asian Hornet Swatter Salesman with the Snark Brothers Enterprises. And I finally Decided. I’m sure I won’t have any regrets at all whatsoever that I will bee going to work for the Snark Brothers, where I can bee my own bee., probably. (Beesides…my Editor never offered me a Coupon for a Free Nectartini at Lousy Louie’s, did he? No, he didn’t.)
So, first thing this Morning, I buzzed over to the Headquarters of Snark Brothers Enterprises, and had my Intake Interview with Narville Snark. I hafta’ say, I was Highly Nervous, but Narville did nothing to put me at ease, so I was glad there were no Surprises. Beesides, I wouldn’t want to make him angry by expecting him to bee pleasant, ya’ know?
Anyway, when I walked in, he said, “You dat bee?”
“Yes, I am. I’m sure you completely remember me - Georgie A. Bee? I’m here about the Cushy Position with your Questionably Fine Firm,” I said.
“Don’t rings a bell. And don’t gets smart wit me, bee,” he said. “Yous is here due tos da fact dat we needs us a Asian Hornet Swatter Salesbee. It ain’t no ‘Cushy Position’. It’s doity woik, and yous is gonna do it. Or Else.”
“Fine,” I said. “Can I ask... “
“No. Wes will tells you what yous needs to knows and when yous needs to knows it, bee.” (It sounded like he didn’t want me to Argue with him. At all. So I didn’t.)
He told me to report to the Inventory Clerk and pay for my Sample Swatter, told me the Clerk would give me my Benefits Package (that Coupon for the Free Nectartini at Lousy Louies), and then he said, “Now gets outta’ my Office, bee.”
So I did that.
I was so Marginally Excited by the time I got my Asian Hornet Swatter Sample that I’m still mostly shaking. I can’t tell if it’s beecause I get the feeling that Narville Snark (with the help of his Brother, Chaz) might actually hurt me very badly if I screw up, or if it’s from the Sheer Thrill of starting a new Job. Either way, I want to stop shaking. It’s highly uncomfortable.
I think at this point, the best thing to do right now is to buzz over to Great Grandma Gee Gee’s BootBox, and ask her if I can hang out with her until I start feeling like it’s Safe to go out again. Maybee she’ll offer me some Always-Soothing, Amazingly Delicious, and Mostly Nutritious HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™. I can even show her my Swatter and Coupon. I’m sure she’ll bee Highly Pleased to hear that I’m back in the WorkForce.
So I’m gonna go do that.
Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!
