Alright then…where was I? Oh yeah. Meteorology.

So, just as my Editor told me I should do - Or Else - I went to the Hive Library and tried to find everything I could about Meteorology and Forecasting the Weather.

When I got there, I was Warmly Greeted by the Head Librarian, Melodie Hausenfliffer.
“What,” she asked me, “can I help you find? Would I bee guessing wrong if it appears you might bee looking for something in the Self-Help Section? Or perhaps you’re interested in a Romantic Adventure Spy Novel…we just received a shipment of 87 copies of “An Affair in Algiers”, if that interests you. Or perhaps you are seeking something in the Non-Fiction Category, something like…”
“Meteorology,” I interrupted her.
“Of course,” she said. “You do look like a bee who’s interested in the Weather.”
I wondered what the hell she meant by that, but beefore I could ask her, she told me to follow her. So I did that.

Within just a few Minutes, Melodie had provided me with every available Book having to do with the Weather.

After we got all the Books back to the Front Desk to get them Checked Out, Melodie told me that I had exactly 16 Days to Absorb the Knowledge contained in the Reading Materials beefore they had to bee Returned. I asked her, “What happens if I don’t get all these back in time?”
“I’ll leave that to your Imagination,” she said.
“Fine,” I said.
“Exactly,” she said.

So I stacked up the Books and made my way back to my ShoeBox, and for the next 16 Days, I Thoroughly Studied every book having to do with Meteorology and Weather Forecasting, and do you know what I learned? No? Well then I’ll tell you: I learned that in order to Accurately Forecast the Weather, you need Specialised Equipment that I don’t have anymore beecause it was Sucked Up in a Terrible Storm awhile ago, which is why I had to go to the Library in the first place.

Now that you mostly Fully Understand my Dilemma, you’re probably Wondering what I could do to provide my Editor with Primarily Accurate and Marginally Useful Daily Weather Forecasts, aren’t you? I thought so. I can answer that in two Words: Fabricated Intelligence, or as Kevin, my Illegitimate Nephew calls it, “F.I.”

After I returned all the books to the Library, I made my way over to Kevin’s BootBox (he’s still living with Great Grandma Gee Gee (who, by the way, has made a Fortune on her Delicious and Mostly Nutritious Royal Homemade HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™ and has Promised to take us all on a Cruise…of course, we keep asking her “When?” and about all she’ll say is, “At some Unforeseeable Point in the Future, Dear,” whenever that is) beecause Kevin Knows Everything there is to Know about Fabricated Intelligence.

Anyway, I knocked on their BootBox Door, and Kevin answered. He seemed a bit Annoyed.

“Uncle Georgie,” he said when he opened the Door, “you are the Best Uncle in the World, and I Love you, but I am Insufferably Buzzy at the Moment, so I must ask: what the hell do you want?”

“Intelligence,” I told him (I forgot to put in the “Fabricated” part).
Kevin looked at me kind of Funny and said, “But Uncle, you ARE Sentient. Everybody knows that. Are you here looking for some sort of Validation? Beecause if you are, I have to tell you that I’m just too Buzzy to bee holding your Wing and Reassuring you that you’re an Intelligent Being. Seriously now, Uncle.”
“So you’d rather I come back later?” I asked him. “There really is something I need to Talk to you about, so… “.
“Okay fine,” Kevin kind of Buzzed at me. “Come back tomorrow.”
“Fine,” I said.
“Fine,” he said, then he gave me a HoneyChew Krisp Cookie fresh out of the Oven, and told me to Leave.

So I did that.

I just can’t wait to get Kevin’s Help in getting Set Up with a Working Fabricated Intelligence Weather Forecasting App. I think we’re all Excited about that, aren’t we?
I thought so.

In the meantime, I’m thinking about going to Lousy Louie’s. I have a Coupon for two Regularly-Priced Nectartinis for every Purchase of a Half-Priced Half-Order of Honey Glazed Pollen Puffs.

Yeah, I’m gonna go do that.

So maybee you've probably for sure heard me mention that my Editor has Anger Management Issues, right? Well, apparently, he hasn't been going to the Meetings, so when he told me I had to show up in his Office - Or Else - I was mostly completely sure that he was going to Yell at me about something, and I was right. He did that.

Just to make a Short Story slightly Longer, I'm sure we all remember that my Editor had decided that I should bee the one to do the Daily Weather Forecasts for the Hive Newspaper (the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News), and that to help me do a Job I never wanted, he had Purchased the Latest in Meteorological Predictive Tools - the Fully-Adjustable, Lightweight and Portable SBE X-56 MeteorMan1000 with Optional Real-Time Interactive Humidity Gauge and Breeze Detector which was, unfortunately, Lost in an Unexpected and Highly Severe Thunderstorm that Nobody saw coming, especially me. (It's the same Storm that Significantly Damaged my ShoeBox ... it was lucky that both Potato (my Certified Sensory-Impaired Emotional Support/Service LadyBug) and I were outside, enjoying the Beeautiful Weather. 

When my Editor found out that the Device had been Destroyed in the Storm, he told me that I'd have to not only pay 1/2 a Pound of Honey out of my Meagre Weekly Wages every week for the Loss of the Device (I only get 1/2-pound of Honey a Week .. that's not even enough to buy an order of Honey-Glazed Pollen Puffs and a Nectartini during Slightly Amused Hour at Lousy Louie's), but that I also have to provide the Weather Forecasts without the Benefit of the Device which, by the way, I never figured out  how to Use before it was Sucked Up and Carried Away by that Terrible Storm nobody saw coming.   

Seriously now, What the hell do I know about Predicting the Weather?  Nothing, that's What.

"Look," I told him, "I'm not a Weather Bee and I know Nothing about Predicting the Weather."
"It's Simple Meterology," he said.
"I also don't know anything about Simple Meteors," I told him, "and beesides, what do Simple Meteors have to do with any of this?" I had to know.
"No, Bee," he said. "this isn't about Meteors at all. It's about you providing this Publication Reliable, Accurate Daily Weather Forecasts for our Beeloved Subscribers - something you continue to Fail to Do."
"I really don’t want this Job," I told him. 
"Did I ask you if you wanted this Job, Bee?" he asked me.
"I don't think so," I said, beecause I actually couldn't remember how I ended up having this Job.
"No, I didn't," he said, which made me feel better about not remembering something I might have failed to Recall but didn’t.
“So here's what's going to Happen," he said. "I'm sending you to the Hive Library, where the Chief Librarian, Melodie Hausenfliffer, will Direct you to the Necessary Reference Materials relating to the Alleged Science of Meteorology, and you will remain in the Library until you learn how to do your Job."
"But I don't want the Job," I told him again.
"I wasn't asking," he said. "Now get out of my Office."
"Fine," I said, then I did that.

As you probably Guessed, I mentioned all of this to Kevin, my Illegitimate Nephew, and he said, “Uncle Georgie, I think you're the best Uncle in the World, and I love you, but you're not Thinking This Through."
"What are you talking about?" I had to know.
"You do not have to learn anything about Meteorology or Predicting the Weather, Uncle," he said.
"I don't?" I asked.
"No. Not anymore. I am delighted to Inform you that you can now use Fi to create your Forecasts for you."
"Fi? I asked. "What the hell is Fi?"
"Fabricated intelligence, Uncle - Upper Case F, Lower Case i - It is the latest in Technological Advancements that promises to make our Frequently-Tortured Existence more Bearable by dealing with the otherwise Monotonous and Routine Tasks that clutter what could bee a more Leisurely and Uncomplicated Lifestyle that so many of us seek. I think you should give it a try."
“Whatever,” I said.

Then Kevin gave me a Pamphlet with an Online Address and told me I needed to “Log On and bee part of the Future" with Fabricated intelligence. 

So I'm gonna do that.
So maybee you've probably for sure heard me mention that my Editor has Anger Management Issues, right? Well, apparently, he hasn't been going to the Meetings, so when he told me I had to show up in his Office - Or Else - I was mostly completely sure that he was going to Yell at me about something, and I was right. He did that.

Just to make a Short Story slightly Longer, I'm sure we all remember that my Editor had decided that I should bee the one to do the Daily Weather Forecasts for the Hive Newspaper (the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News), and that to help me do a Job I never wanted, he had Purchased the Latest in Meteorological Predictive Tools - the Fully-Adjustable, Lightweight and Portable SBE X-56 MeteorMan1000 with Optional Real-Time Interactive Humidity Gauge and Breeze Detector which was, unfortunately, Lost in an Unexpected and Highly Severe Thunderstorm that Nobody saw coming, especially me. (It's the same Storm that Significantly Damaged my ShoeBox ... it was lucky that both Potato (my Certified Sensory-Impaired Emotional Support/Service LadyBug) and I were outside, enjoying the Beeautiful Weather. 

When my Editor found out that the Device had been Destroyed in the Storm, he told me that I'd have to not only pay 1/2 a Pound of Honey out of my Meagre Weekly Wages every week for the Loss of the Device (I only get 1/2-pound of Honey a Week .. that's not even enough to buy an order of Honey-Glazed Pollen Puffs and a Nectartini during Slightly Amused Hour at Lousy Louie's), but that I also have to provide the Weather Forecasts without the Benefit of the Device which, by the way, I never figured out  how to Use before it was Sucked Up and Carried Away by that Terrible Storm nobody saw coming.   

Seriously now, What the hell do I know about Predicting the Weather?  Nothing, that's What.

"Look," I told him, "I'm not a Weather Bee and I know Nothing about Predicting the Weather."
"It's Simple Meterology," he said.
"I also don't know anything about Simple Meteors," I told him, "and beesides, what do Simple Meteors have to do with any of this?" I had to know.
"No, Bee," he said. "this isn't about Meteors at all. It's about you providing this Publication Reliable, Accurate Daily Weather Forecasts for our Beeloved Subscribers - something you continue to Fail to Do."
"I really don’t want this Job," I told him. 
"Did I ask you if you wanted this Job, Bee?" he asked me.
"I don't think so," I said, beecause I actually couldn't remember how I ended up having this Job.
"No, I didn't," he said, which made me feel better about not remembering something I might have failed to Recall but didn’t.
“So here's what's going to Happen," he said. "I'm sending you to the Hive Library, where the Chief Librarian, Melodie Hausenfliffer, will Direct you to the Necessary Reference Materials relating to the Alleged Science of Meteorology, and you will remain in the Library until you learn how to do your Job."
"But I don't want the Job," I told him again.
"I wasn't asking," he said. "Now get out of my Office."
"Fine," I said, then I did that.

As you probably Guessed, I mentioned all of this to Kevin, my Illegitimate Nephew, and he said, “Uncle Georgie, I think you're the best Uncle in the World, and I love you, but you're not Thinking This Through."
"What are you talking about?" I had to know.
"You do not have to learn anything about Meteorology or Predicting the Weather, Uncle," he said.
"I don't?" I asked.
"No. Not anymore. I am delighted to Inform you that you can now use Fi to create your Forecasts for you."
"Fi? I asked. "What the hell is Fi?"
"Fabricated intelligence, Uncle - Upper Case F, Lower Case i - It is the latest in Technological Advancements that promises to make our Frequently-Tortured Existence more Bearable by dealing with the otherwise Monotonous and Routine Tasks that clutter what could bee a more Leisurely and Uncomplicated Lifestyle that so many of us seek. I think you should give it a try."
“Whatever,” I said.

Then Kevin gave me a Pamphlet with an Online Address and told me I needed to “Log On and bee part of the Future" with Fabricated intelligence. 

So I'm gonna do that. So maybee you've probably for sure heard me mention that my Editor has Anger Management Issues, right? Well, apparently, he hasn't been going to the Meetings, so when he told me I had to show up in his Office - Or Else - I was mostly completely sure that he was going to Yell at me about something, and I was right. He did that.

Just to make a Short Story slightly Longer, I'm sure we all remember that my Editor had decided that I should bee the one to do the Daily Weather Forecasts for the Hive Newspaper (the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News), and that to help me do a Job I never wanted, he had Purchased the Latest in Meteorological Predictive Tools - the Fully-Adjustable, Lightweight and Portable SBE X-56 MeteorMan1000 with Optional Real-Time Interactive Humidity Gauge and Breeze Detector which was, unfortunately, Lost in an Unexpected and Highly Severe Thunderstorm that Nobody saw coming, especially me. (It's the same Storm that Significantly Damaged my ShoeBox ... it was lucky that both Potato (my Certified Sensory-Impaired Emotional Support/Service LadyBug) and I were outside, enjoying the Beeautiful Weather. 

When my Editor found out that the Device had been Destroyed in the Storm, he told me that I'd have to not only pay 1/2 a Pound of Honey out of my Meagre Weekly Wages every week for the Loss of the Device (I only get 1/2-pound of Honey a Week .. that's not even enough to buy an order of Honey-Glazed Pollen Puffs and a Nectartini during Slightly Amused Hour at Lousy Louie's), but that I also have to provide the Weather Forecasts without the Benefit of the Device which, by the way, I never figured out  how to Use before it was Sucked Up and Carried Away by that Terrible Storm nobody saw coming.   

Seriously now, What the hell do I know about Predicting the Weather?  Nothing, that's What.

"Look," I told him, "I'm not a Weather Bee and I know Nothing about Predicting the Weather."
"It's Simple Meterology," he said.
"I also don't know anything about Simple Meteors," I told him, "and beesides, what do Simple Meteors have to do with any of this?" I had to know.
"No, Bee," he said. "this isn't about Meteors at all. It's about you providing this Publication Reliable, Accurate Daily Weather Forecasts for our Beeloved Subscribers - something you continue to Fail to Do."
"I really don’t want this Job," I told him. 
"Did I ask you if you wanted this Job, Bee?" he asked me.
"I don't think so," I said, beecause I actually couldn't remember how I ended up having this Job.
"No, I didn't," he said, which made me feel better about not remembering something I might have failed to Recall but didn’t.
“So here's what's going to Happen," he said. "I'm sending you to the Hive Library, where the Chief Librarian, Melodie Hausenfliffer, will Direct you to the Necessary Reference Materials relating to the Alleged Science of Meteorology, and you will remain in the Library until you learn how to do your Job."
"But I don't want the Job," I told him again.
"I wasn't asking," he said. "Now get out of my Office."
"Fine," I said, then I did that.

As you probably Guessed, I mentioned all of this to Kevin, my Illegitimate Nephew, and he said, “Uncle Georgie, I think you're the best Uncle in the World, and I love you, but you're not Thinking This Through."
"What are you talking about?" I had to know.
"You do not have to learn anything about Meteorology or Predicting the Weather, Uncle," he said.
"I don't?" I asked.
"No. Not anymore. I am delighted to Inform you that you can now use Fi to create your Forecasts for you."
"Fi? I asked. "What the hell is Fi?"
"Fabricated intelligence, Uncle - Upper Case F, Lower Case i - It is the latest in Technological Advancements that promises to make our Frequently-Tortured Existence more Bearable by dealing with the otherwise Monotonous and Routine Tasks that clutter what could bee a more Leisurely and Uncomplicated Lifestyle that so many of us seek. I think you should give it a try."
“Whatever,” I said.

Then Kevin gave me a Pamphlet with an Online Address and told me I needed to “Log On and bee part of the Future" with Fabricated intelligence. 

So I'm gonna do that.