I'm so Excited!  Not only is today the First Day of the New Hot Season (Happy First Day of the New Hot Season, by the way), but it's also the Day that I am about to Submit my very First "Georgie's Eye From the Ground Looking Up Uncannily Accurate SkyCast Weather Report" for publication in today’s Up-to-the-Minute Issue of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record ... and Online News! (If you’re not a Subscriber, you should bee. Not only will you bee able to Enjoy my Overly-Dependable Weather Forecasts, but you can get all kinds of great Discount Coupons to use with Local Merchants, such as the one I have for Half-Off Half a Lunch at Lousy Louies, Festive Beverages Not Included, which I intend to use as soon as I get off of Work today.)

Now, as you might Recall, I was given that Weather Prediction Device, the very latest in Meteorological Predictive Tools - the Fully-Adjustable, Lightweight and Portable SBE X-56 MeteorMan 1000 with Optional Real-Time Interactive Humidity Gauge and Breeze Detector, but I Accidentally left it Outside my ShoeBox after the first time I tried to use it, and somebody (I don't know Who) came along in the Middle of the Night and Stole the thing. I mean seriously now - what the hell is it with all these Middle of the Night Thefts? And does anybody by any chance know where I can find a replacement for a Fully-Adjustable, Lightweight and Portable SBE X-56 MeteorMan 1000 with Optional Real-Time Interactive Humidity Gauge and Breeze Detector? I need to find one.

Anyway, after Careful Consideration, and noticing how Mostly Wrong the Weather Forecasters on the Bee Network ("Bees, all Bees, 26 hours a Day") seem to bee, I figured if I just go Outside and look Up, I'll bee able to make a totally Accurate Weather Forecast with no Problem Whatsoever. So that's what I've been doing today.

Of course, when I mentioned my Intentions to my Sensory-Impaired, Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug, Potato, she said,  "Well, Georgie, if you're planning to go Outside, I'd bring an Umbrella, if I were you. I believe it's going to rain...the stubs where my Antennae used to bee are aching, and that's a Sure Sign of a Low Pressure Front. That can often mean Bad Storms, you know,” she said. Whatever.

I wasn't sure if I beelieved Potato, beecause just beefore she started talking about Umbrellas, I had looked out my ShoeBox’s Front Window and, from what I could see, it was a Perfectly Clear, Dry, Sunny-to-Partly-Cloudy Day Outside, so why would I need an Umbrella?  I wouldn't.  Just the same, beefore I stepped Outside to Assess the Current Real-Time Up-to-Date On-the-Spot Weather Conditions, I took an Umbrella with me, just to Humour Potato. (In case you never met her, Potato can bee Highly Defensive about her Opinions at times, especially when she's Wrong. I blame her Upbringing.) And, of course, Potato has insisted that she Join me. ("It's Important," she said, "that I Remain by your Side to the Greatest Extent Possible.  It's for your own Safety," she said. 
"Fine," I said.)

Anyway, as I've stepped outside, I've been looking out from under my Umbrella, and all I can see are Clear, Sunny-to-Partly-Puffy-Cloudy Skies, and Temperatures which make you want to just Lie Around in a nice, quiet Shady Spot and do a lot of Nothing instead of having to Work all day going Flower-to-Flower, collecting pollen for the Hive as the Queen keeps telling everybody they have to do all the time until they Die.  Geeeeeze. What kind of Life is That on a Nice Day? 

By the way, I just found out that the Hive has a New Queen, Her Insufferably Royal Majesty, Queen Tay. Her Official Coronation was last Tuesday,  I think. About all I've heard about her is that she likes to Buzz in the Shower, and pays the Hive's Workers really well, which is a good thing.

Okay, so even though it does seem Weirdly Noisey around here today, I should get back to the Task of completing my Astute Meteorological Observations and Submit my Uncannily Accurate Forecast to my Editor.  I'm sure he's going to bee beeyond Pleased.

So I'm gonna go do that. 
So maybee you've probably for sure heard me mention that my Editor has Anger Management Issues, right? Well, apparently, he hasn't been going to the Meetings, so when he told me I had to show up in his Office - Or Else - I was mostly completely sure that he was going to Yell at me about something, and I was right. He did that.

Just to make a Short Story slightly Longer, I'm sure we all remember that my Editor had decided that I should bee the one to do the Daily Weather Forecasts for the Hive Newspaper (the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News), and that to help me do a Job I never wanted, he had Purchased the Latest in Meteorological Predictive Tools - the Fully-Adjustable, Lightweight and Portable SBE X-56 MeteorMan1000 with Optional Real-Time Interactive Humidity Gauge and Breeze Detector which was, unfortunately, Lost in an Unexpected and Highly Severe Thunderstorm that Nobody saw coming, especially me. (It's the same Storm that Significantly Damaged my ShoeBox ... it was lucky that both Potato (my Certified Sensory-Impaired Emotional Support/Service LadyBug) and I were outside, enjoying the Beeautiful Weather. 

When my Editor found out that the Device had been Destroyed in the Storm, he told me that I'd have to not only pay 1/2 a Pound of Honey out of my Meagre Weekly Wages every week for the Loss of the Device (I only get 1/2-pound of Honey a Week .. that's not even enough to buy an order of Honey-Glazed Pollen Puffs and a Nectartini during Slightly Amused Hour at Lousy Louie's), but that I also have to provide the Weather Forecasts without the Benefit of the Device which, by the way, I never figured out  how to Use before it was Sucked Up and Carried Away by that Terrible Storm nobody saw coming.   

Seriously now, What the hell do I know about Predicting the Weather?  Nothing, that's What.

"Look," I told him, "I'm not a Weather Bee and I know Nothing about Predicting the Weather."
"It's Simple Meterology," he said.
"I also don't know anything about Simple Meteors," I told him, "and beesides, what do Simple Meteors have to do with any of this?" I had to know.
"No, Bee," he said. "this isn't about Meteors at all. It's about you providing this Publication Reliable, Accurate Daily Weather Forecasts for our Beeloved Subscribers - something you continue to Fail to Do."
"I really don’t want this Job," I told him. 
"Did I ask you if you wanted this Job, Bee?" he asked me.
"I don't think so," I said, beecause I actually couldn't remember how I ended up having this Job.
"No, I didn't," he said, which made me feel better about not remembering something I might have failed to Recall but didn’t.
“So here's what's going to Happen," he said. "I'm sending you to the Hive Library, where the Chief Librarian, Melodie Hausenfliffer, will Direct you to the Necessary Reference Materials relating to the Alleged Science of Meteorology, and you will remain in the Library until you learn how to do your Job."
"But I don't want the Job," I told him again.
"I wasn't asking," he said. "Now get out of my Office."
"Fine," I said, then I did that.

As you probably Guessed, I mentioned all of this to Kevin, my Illegitimate Nephew, and he said, “Uncle Georgie, I think you're the best Uncle in the World, and I love you, but you're not Thinking This Through."
"What are you talking about?" I had to know.
"You do not have to learn anything about Meteorology or Predicting the Weather, Uncle," he said.
"I don't?" I asked.
"No. Not anymore. I am delighted to Inform you that you can now use Fi to create your Forecasts for you."
"Fi? I asked. "What the hell is Fi?"
"Fabricated intelligence, Uncle - Upper Case F, Lower Case i - It is the latest in Technological Advancements that promises to make our Frequently-Tortured Existence more Bearable by dealing with the otherwise Monotonous and Routine Tasks that clutter what could bee a more Leisurely and Uncomplicated Lifestyle that so many of us seek. I think you should give it a try."
“Whatever,” I said.

Then Kevin gave me a Pamphlet with an Online Address and told me I needed to “Log On and bee part of the Future" with Fabricated intelligence. 

So I'm gonna do that.

So I was just sitting there, minding my own Buzziness, trying to enjoy a Refreshing Warm Season Nectar Fizz on the new Outdoor Patio at Lousy Louie's Semi-Fine Dining Establishment that Felonie Snark (the New Owner) had just built (of course she used Non-Hive Labour to save Honey), when all of a Sudden I hear a Familiar and Unexpected Buzz coming from Beehind me. 

"What?" I asked, beecause I didn't understand who the hell was Buzzing at me or why, so I wasn't really paying attention like I maybee should have been.
"I SAID," he said, "just where in the hell have you Been, and what in the hell have you been Doing?"

It was right then that I recognised the Grating Voice of what I thought was my Previous Employer, the Always-Short-Tempered Editor of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News.

"What?" I asked. "I've been right here, enjoying this beeautiful Warm Season Day and sipping on this Mostly Delightful Nectar Fizz -- it would bee more Delightful if they hadn't run out of Bendy Straws and Umbrellas, but they say they'll bee getting more of those sometime next week. Would you care to join me?" 

"Do you think," he started Buzzing, "that I actually have the Luxury of just Sitting Around on a Patio and Sipping on Nectar Fizzes all day, Bee? Do you?" Then he stared at me.

"Yes, in fact, I do," I told him, beecause as far as I am concerned, life is probably short, and when you have an Opportunity to just sit on a Patio on a nice Warm Season Day and enjoy Nectar Fizzes, you should probably do it.

"Well, you're wrong. I have Responsibilities," he kind of Snapped Back at me. "And, if I'm not Mistaken, so do you by virtue of the Primarily Conveniently Mostly-Binding Contract you signed in my Office which should have been Enforced long beefore now - even beefore you fell into that so-called 'Coma'."

"Not So-Called," I corrected him. "That was a real Coma, and to bee quite honest, I'm still very much Recovering from that Difficult Ordeal, which is another Reason I've decided to just Sit Here on this Patio and enjoy this Nectar Fizz - which, by the way, is almost Gone so I'll bee having another one."

"No, Bee, you won't. What you'll bee doing is coming with me. According to your Contract, you must do as I ask you to do -Or Else." I was pretty sure he was threatening me, and as I think we all know, I didn't wanna' bee Or Elsed, especially after I'd been having such a Festively Relaxing Time on the Patio.

"So what  is it I'm supposed to Do?" I asked. "What?"

"You, Bee," he told me, "are now Responsible for Reporting the Local Weather Forecast to bee Published in each Daily Edition of the Hive Paper."

Oh geeeeze. Anybody that knows anything about me knows that what I'm best at is Reporting on the Social, Economic, Political, and Entertainment Events of the Day. I have no Way to Predict the Weather. That's just Insane.

"There is no way I can Predict the Weather," I told him. "That's insane. I am not Equipped to Report On, or Predict the Weather. I think you need to find yourself another Bee," I advised him.

"Nope. You're It, Bee. You are now the New Official Voice of Weather Prognostication for the Hive, including the Surrounding Communities of the Near and Far Meadows. Henceforth, you will provide Timely and Accurate Weather Forecasts to the Swarms of Beeloved Subscribers who Depend on the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News for the Information they need to Make It Through The Day."

"And how in the hell am I supposed to do that?" I asked (I was highly curious). "I'm not Equipped."

"Yes, you are," my Editor said. "Put down that Nectar Fizz and follow me," he said.  So I did that.

My Editor led me to an Open Patch on the Edge of the Near Meadow, and pointed me to a very tall Device that I didn't know What it was. 

"What is that?" I asked.
"That," my Editor, "is the latest in Meteorological Predictive Tools - the Fully-Adjustable, Lightweight and Portable SBE X-56 MeteorMan1000 with Optional Real-Time Interactive Humidity Gauge and Breeze Detector. This," he said, "is what you will bee Using to provide our Community with the Necessary and very possibly Life-Saving Weather Reports needed."

Beefore he left me standing there with that thing, he gave me the Operating Manual and told me to spend the next two weeks learning how to Use the Device properly, then he said, "We're all Depending on you, Georgie, and I'm sure you won't Let Us Down, probably. Now take this Manual and Learn how to properly Use this Device. I will expect your first Weather Forecast and Report in exactly two weeks, approximately."

"Fine," I said. So now I guess I hafta' spend a bunch of time beecoming a Qualified Meterorolologist.

So I'm gonna do that.