Issue #1 of "Life in the Stump" has rolled off the Presses!

Well, the First Issue of "Life in the Stump" has arrived!

I'm absolutely mostly positive that my Editor is gonna give me a Large Bonus for this!

While I'm waiting for that, I'm gonna take the rest of the week off and relax.

I'll see ya' next week! Let's all bee careful out there!

Life-in-the-Stump-MASTHEAD



Georgie beegins something new...

Life-in-the-Stump-MASTHEAD--promo1


Okay, I figured out what to do about my Editor’s demands that I find a way to get everybody in the Swarm to start beelieving the News again. I was glad it didn’t take me long (I only need about a day or two to figure out anything. I'm very efficient, as we all know, mostly), aren’t you? I thought you would bee.

As we all know, the “
Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News” has been in buzziness, serving the Swarm’s Informational Needs, mostly, for as long as anybody can remember, which nobody can, especially me.

My Editor’s still highly upset over the fact that nobody trusts the
BTGJR…AON right now, but quite frankly, if you’re a regular subscriber to that thing, you understand that it’s not a fun thing to read, it’s in super small print, and it usually gets only about half the story right, probably.

It’s not going out of buzziness, though. They’re just not gonna publish anymore issues until, as my Editor put it, “our Beeloved Readers come to their senses”. Whatever.

In the meantime, I’m sure everybody’s going to respond favourably to something I’ve managed to throw together for everybody in the Swarm - and for my Beeps (if you’re interested). It’s a Weekly News & Information Thingy, which my Editor says he’ll start publishing tomorrow.

We’re calling this Thing, “
Life in the Stump”, and it will contain the dependably and mostly accurate News and Information of the Day. It’s gonna come out every Thursday. I’m absolutely certain that there’s a excellently marginal good chance that everybody’s gonna love it. And with the low, low Seasonal Subscription Rate of just 0.187 pounds of honey per issue, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna make a lot of honey off this Thing.

“We’d better,” my Editor told me when I gave him the First Issue. “Or Else.”

Whatever.

So…bee sure to check back tomorrow, either here or on my Website, for that.

Okay then. Let’s bee careful out there.

Georgie meets with his Editor...

Get this:

Over the Weekend, my Editor gave me a buzz. He politely asked if I’d consider seeing him in his Office Monday morning (that’s today, in case you didn’t know that. )

“Please stop by anytime, whenever it’s totally convenient for you, and fits comfortably into your buzzy schedule, of course,” he said.

For a minute there, I thought that maybee my Editor had started mellowing out over the Cold Season. Then he said, “On second thought, Bee, bee in my Office first thing Monday morning. Or Else.”

Geeeeeze.

So I did that. When I got there, I couldn’t help but notice that he looked highly angry.

Georgie-with-his-Editor_4



“Nobody trusts The Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News anymore,” he said.

“Well…yeah… that's beecause,” I started to say.

“Ever since we published that Special Insert that listed all the problems everybody has run into in this Stump, and listing Queen Jemima’s Questionable Promises to make Improvements on Day One,” he told me, “our Readership has taken a nose dive.”

“You mean,” I asked, “the Improvements that aren’t gonna happen? I’m sorry. I didn’t see that.”

“Bee that as it may, Bee, we have a Big Problem on our wings. Our Publication has been the Number One Sources for Sports and Information for the past very long time, and now, nobody beelieves anything we print.” He slammed his wing on his desk and buzzed superly loud, “THIS WILL NOT DO! I’m assigning YOU the job of FIXING this Problem, Bee - OR ELSE!”

I don’t know why my Editor is suddenly blaming ME for this Problem. Geeeeeeze. I just woke up. And what do I know about anything? Nothing, that’s what.

But okay fine, I’ll do it. After all, over the past few years, dozens of bees and Beeps (my Human Friends - you know who you are) have come to rely on me for a Dependable Viewpoint. How many relationships did I save and make happier with my “Dear Georgie” Column? I think the number is too high to count, probably.

And how many came to deeply depend on my highly accurate and insightful Reviews I provided in that “At The Movies with Georgie Bee” Thing? I don’t think it’s possible to calculate.

Anyway, I guess I hafta figure out some way to get the Swarm to beelieve the News of the Day - and I guess I’m the only bee who can bring Trustworthiness back to the News.

So I’m gonna go do that.

I’ll get back to you when I figure all of this out.

Let’s all bee careful out there.

Legal problems over The Stump beegin to unfold...

I should probably mention that the Snark Brothers Tower at 1 Stump Plaza - or what everybody just calls “The Stump” - is a horrible place. You should see it.

First, as I said, it’s really nothing more than an old, mostly hollow Golden Oak Tree Stump with the letters “SB” carved in it. It doesn’t have a roof, so it’s drafty and it leaks whenever it rains or snows. And it has NO security at all. Just anybody could fly or crawl into that place and there’s nothing to stop them.

I’m seriously happy I don’t live there.

Well, it turns out that Queen Jemima, Her Royal Highness, Majestic Negotiator of Not-So-Shrewd Buzziness Deals, has beecome highly worried about Hive Security. As a result, She issued a Royal Decree that a Roof and New Doors must bee installed in The Stump - and that the Snark Brothers would bee paying for it.

“Trust me,” she said in a Royal Public Service Announcement a few days ago, “the Improvements WILL bee made, and the Snarks WILL pay for them!”

When the Snark Brothers heard about Her Royal Decree, they said, “Not so fast, Your Majesty,” then they referred her to Page 1039, Section LVIXXI, Subsection 2, Paragraph 87 of the Lease She signed.

“This section,” the Snark’s Lawyer informed her, “prohibits the Lessee - that’s you - from making any improvements in the property without the express, Written Approval of the Lessor - that’s us. And we don’t grant that Approval.

"It also indemnifies Snark Brothers Enterprises against any and all Financial and/or Civil Liabilities arising from complaints or losses arising from, and I quote, ‘hostile intrusion, unwanted surveillance, over-exposure to the Elements including but not limited to: Lightning Strikes, Hail Damage, Fires, Floods, Windstorms, Blizzards, Falling Objects, and/or any and all Unanticipated Breaches of Security resulting from alleged deficiencies in the Physical Property. Shall I go on?”

In other words, the Swarm has to pay for the Desired Improvements, unless S.O.Bee, the Hive Lawyer, is able to successfully challenge the Lease in Royal Court.

RoyalCourtroomDrama-LdVsketch


The Legal Proceedings have beegun already, but I’d rather not talk about all that. It’s highly boring. Beesides, it’s the Weekend, and I’m gonna go enjoy that.


Let’s all bee careful out there.

A new Season, a temporary new Hive...

Okay, so when the Swarm moved out of the Hive for the Royal Renovation, the New Queen, Queen Jemima sub-leased an old, vacant Golden Oak Tree Stump from the Renovation Consultants She hired - Residential Renovationalizers, Inc., which also just so happens to bee a subsidiary of Snark Brothers Enterprises.

They told Queen Jemima that they often had Clients who had to temporarily relocate while they did their work, and that they had acquired properties just for the purpose of helping those clients find the temporary housing they need.

To make a long story short, the Queen signed a Semi-Negotiable Indeterminate Duration Lease for what the sales bee called “The Residence at Snark Brothers Towers, 1 Stump Plaza”.

TreeStump


“I’m sure you know,” he said, “that this is a highly sought-after address, and it isn’t usually available, but you’re in luck. The property just opened up after we had to evict a family of Prairie Mice who had fallen beehind on their rent. You’ll love it there,” he told Her.

Of course, he lied. They hate it there, but they’re kinda stuck there until the Royal Renovation is done. Probably.

Just wait until you hear about this place. But right now, I hafta go and try to find a pair of dry socks.

Let’s all bee careful out there.

Where was everybody? The explanation continues...

So where was I? Oh yeah.

“Royal Renovation?” I asked Kevin, my Illegitimate Nephew.

“Yes indeed,” he said, then he went on to explain the whole thing to me.

What happened was that the Swarm had to temporarily move out of the Hive, by Royal Order of the New Queen, Her Majestic Highness, Queen Jemima. (I totally missed Her Coronation, beecause the Swarm didn’t hold the elections until after I’d fallen asleep, which means I never voted, which also means that I’m not responsible for what kind of Queen she turns out to bee.)

QueenJemimaCoronation_2017


After she was Coronated, about all she did was look around the Hive, then go into this long rant about how messy and broken down the Hive had beecome.

“This place is a total disaster. We are not pleased - not even slightly,” She told everybody.

Of course, everybody started grumbling beecause they figured She was gonna make everybody forget about taking a long, Cold Season Nap like they’d planned to do, and that they’d hafta work double-shifts to clean things up instead of sleeping. Luckily, Queen Jemima seems to bee a very Practical Queen, so she informed everyone that they had to move out so that they wouldn’t bee in the way of the Repair, Refurbish, and Remodelling Consultants she’d hired to completely re-do the Hive.

That was a good thing, and everybody was relieved, I guess they found out where they were going to have to move while all that work was beeing done.

But I’ll tell you about that later. I hafta go do something.

Let’s all bee careful out there.

The Swarm isn't Dead... AND I DON'T SNORE!!

So, it turns out I was entirely mistaken about everybody in the Hive beeing dead. It’s a way-long story, so I’ll just say it was all a joke the Swarm pulled on me for April Fool’s Day.

I don’t think it was even a little bit funny.
PerturbedGeorgie

I also didn’t think it was very funny that I was even in the Hive in the first place. As I remember (and I have a very good memory, as we all know), I had fallen asleep in my own, wee bee bed in the Boot Box, and totally expected to wake up there. That wasn’t the way it worked out, though.

When I did finally get back home to my Boot Box, I asked Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) how I ended up in the Hive.

“What was I doing there in the first place when I don’t even live there?” I needed an answer.

“Uncle Georgie,” he said, “you’re the best Uncle in the World, and I love you, but you snore.”

“I snore?” I said. “I don’t think so. I beelieve you’re mistaken,” I told him.

Seriously now.

“Trust me,” he said. “You snore. You snore very loudly and constantly, as a matter of fact, and, quite frankly, we simply couldn’t take it anymore.”

“No, we couldn’t, dear,” Great Grandma Gee Gee added. “Goodness me, we couldn’t even hear ourselves think with all that snoring.”

“I beelieve it was in Late February sometime,” Kevin went on, “that a bunch of us rolled you up in your blankets and carefully relocated you to the empty Hive. Since nobody was there anymore beecause of the Royal Renovation, we figured it would bee perfect. It was a Win-Win, a Zero-Sum Game, especially for us,” he said.

Whatever. I still say I don’t snore.

Well, then I asked him what he was talking about when he talked about a “Royal Renovation”. I’ll explain all that to you later, but right now, I hafta go.

Let’s all bee careful out there.

Alright already...I'm finally awake! Geeeeeze...

Okay Okay OKAY already. I'm awake. Mostly.
(My first Mug of Lukewarm Morning Nectar
of the New Warm Season is helping. In a way.)
I'm still trying to focus my compound eyes… .

GeorgieWakesUp-2017-COLOUR

Hey. Wait a minute! What’s THIS??
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!??

It looks like everybody in the Hive is
DEAD...
but there aren’t any bodies!

The Hive must’ve fallen victim to one of those
mysterious
Colony Collapse Disorder Thingies
(or a CCDT, for short)!

Oh no!!!!!!
This is terrible!


Excuse me, but I hafta spend the next day or so
trying to find out just what happened around here.
So I'll bee back on Monday.

In the meantime,
let's all bee careful out there!