A Cure for the Contagion...and just in time for Georgie's Birthday!
Anyway. A few days ago, I found out that, after consulting the Top Bees in the Field, a Cure has been found for that Highly Unpleasant Contagion that’s been killing off a whole bunch of bees. The Cure comes in the form of a Huge Pill which has to bee swallowed after beeing sprayed with a mostly awful-smelling Body Spray. I was treated yesterday, and so far, aside from some mild Puckering in my Wings, Extreme Nausea, Dizziness, Loss of Balance, Blurry Vision, Foot Pain, and Mental Confusion, I seem to bee doing just fine. So that means we can all finally take off our masks, we don’t hafta’ stay 15.72” apart from everybody anymore, and life in the Hive can start getting back to Normal, whatever that is.
Speaking of Normal… for some reason, ButterCup is still mad at me for not recalling to remind myself to remember her Birthday. Seriously now - that was weeks ago. I was pretty sure all that was Nectar Under the Bridge, but you know how ButterCup is. She’s very persistent. So, on my way back from beeing Treated with the Cure for the Contagion, I buzzed through a local Garden and permanently borrowed a Peace Offering, made my way over to her Cell in the Hive, and apologised for what somebody told me she said was my “Habitual Insensitivity”.
“I’m sorry,” I told her. “I know how you are about your Birthdays, and it certainly wasn’t my Intention to fail to Acknowledge the Fact that you just keep getting Older every day. I apologise.”
I dunno why, but she just kind of glared at me, and said, “You always know JUST what to say, don’t you, Bee?” Then she snatched the Flower out of my Wing and slammed her Cell Door. I don’t know why the hell she did that. I figured she’d at least invite me in for some Honey or something, but she didn’t, so I left.
So when I got back to my ShoeBox, there was an Angry Note from my Editor pinned to my Door.
“Bee: You apparently seem to not take your Job very seriously. You were Absent from the Staff Meeting two weeks ago which we can only take as an Indication that you’re not happy in your Position with this Publication. I am informing you that your Attitude is Unacceptable.
At no time have we, your Current Employer, extended assurances that our Employees will bee happy in their work, nor has that ever been represented as a Condition of your Continuing Employment. You seem to bee functioning under the Misconception that your Search for Personal Gratification and Fulfilment in your Professional Pursuits have anything to do with what is expected of you in this Job. It doesn’t.
I am hereby ordering you to appear in my Office promptly and without delay no later than 9:00 a.m. sometime in the next week, at which time we will bee reviewing your Deficient Job Performance, and you will bee given your next Assignment. Or Else.
- Love,
Your Editor”
Geeeeeeze. I’m not even sure I want to work for that guy anymore. He’s amazingly cranky, and he never seems to remember to pay me. Beesides, I was offered a very cushy Job with Snark Brothers Enterprises, Amalgamated Asian Hornet Eradication Division, selling Asian Hornet Swatters to the Hive. They even offered a Benefits Package (a free Asian Hornet Swatter, and a Coupon for a free Nectartini at Lousy Louie’s, a new Nectartini Bar that just opened up on the other side of the Far Meadow…I’d bee a fool to pass up that Opportunity, probably).
I’m not sure what I’m gonna bee doing, so I need to think about it.
So I’m gonna go do that.
Let’s all bee highly careful out there!
