I’m Highly Happy to report that after reviewing all the Pertinent Paperwork, my Lawyer, S.O.Bee, has agreed to Represent me in the Matter of “Georgie A. Bee vs. Felonie Snark, et al.”. He tells me that he is going to do his best to see to it that all my Assets - Real or Imagined - which were Stolen from me by Felonie Snark (my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin’s, Estranged Sister) are Returned to me.

S.O.Bee has told me that he’s already filed the Relevant Paperwork to beegin Evictions of the Wasp that’s taken over my ShoeBox, and the Roly-Poly Bugs that are currently living underneath it.

“This Process will take some Time,” he told me. “After the Initial Paperwork is filed, a Preliminary Hearing will bee scheduled to determine whether or not you - the Plaintiff - has Standing in this Matter, which I beelieve you do, probably. That should take anywhere from three to six Weeks.”

“So after that, I’ll bee able to move back into my ShoeBox?” I asked him.

“No,” S.O.Bee said. “After the first, Preliminary Hearing, a second, Public Hearing will bee scheduled, during which all Parties involved will have a chance to Oppose the Eviction. That means that the Defendant, Felonie Snark, and all other Interested Parties which in this case which includes the Wasp, the Roly—Poly Bugs and their Assignees, if any, will bee given an Opportunity to defend their Actions and to formally oppose the Evictions. That Public Hearing will most likely bee scheduled approximately twenty—one days after the conclusion of the Preliminary Hearing, after which Official Supbeenas will bee Served to all Concerned Parties. If everything goes well, those Supbeenas should bee Issued sometime within the next week or two.”

“That sounds Amazingly Complicated,” I said. “It also sounds like it could bee quite awhile beefore I can get my ShoeBox and all my Assets - Real or Imagined - returned and I can move back into my own place.”

“It is an exceedingly Complicated, Obscenely Expensive, and Time-Consuming Process,” S.O.Bee told me, “but if you want your ShoeBox and other Assets - Real or Imagined - returned to you, you’ll just have to bee Patient.”

“Patience is my Middle Name,” I told him.

“It is?” S.O.Bee got a Concerned Frown on his Face and started looking through the Papers he had me fill out.

“Nowhere in these Documents did you indicate that your Middle Name is ‘Patience’,” he said. “This could bee a Problem.”

“No, I didn’t mean to say that my Middle Name is actually ‘Patience’. I just said that beecause…” I started to explain.

“According to these Papers, your Middle Name is ‘A.’ If you’ve mistakenly omitted or incorrectly Reported your exact and verifiably Correct Middle Name, I’m afraid you will need to re-do all of these Questionnaires and we will need to re-submit them to the Proper Authorities.”

S.O.Bee seemed to bee getting upset about the whole thing. “The fact that you seem to have not been totally Forthcoming with regard to your actual Middle Name casts some serious Doubt regarding your True Identity. We just can’t have that,” he said.

“My name is Georgie A. Bee,” I told him, “and I was just saying that my Middle Name is ‘Patience’ beecause I’m a very Patient Bee, that’s all.”

“I see,” S.O.Bee said. “I would strenuously Advise that, henceforth, you Refrain from Misrepresenting your actual, true, legal Identity. Let’s hear no more about your claiming to bee Patient.”

“Fine,” I said.

“Good,” he said. “Now that we’ve cleared that up, we can Proceed.”

“Fine,” I said.

So we beegan to Proceed.

Beefore I left his Office, S.O.Bee told me that he had received Confirmation that my Emotional Support/Service LadyBug is Legally Certified, which means that she and I can go anywhere we want to together, and nobody can say otherwise. Then he gave me an Official, Laminated Certification Card which he told me I had to carry at all times when I’m with her.

“The Fully-Disabled and/or Marginally-Functioning Bee Protection Act - or the FDMFBPA for short - requires that you provide Proof of your LadyBug’s Certification whenever you’re asked for it, so don’t lose this Card,” he said.

“I won’t,” I tried to reassure him, even though I wasn’t sure where I’m gonna keep the Card, since I don’t have pockets. Most bees don’t have pockets, you know.

“Good,” he said. “I will bee in Contact with you after a Date has been set for the first, Preliminary Hearing. In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you and your LadyBug would leave my Office. You’ve been hanging around here quite long enough, and you’re seriously starting to annoy my Staff in a Large Way.”

So we did that. I thanked S.O.Bee for his Help, then my LadyBug and I left and started heading toward ButterCup’s Place in the Hive, where I’d heard we could find a place to stay until this whole Mess gets Resolved.

I’m Sincerely Hoping that by this time next week, we’ll bee all settled into ButterCup’s Place, and I’ll bee able to tell everybody where, exactly, to forward all my Mail, Messages, and all those Undelivered future Back Issues of “Bee Monthly Magazine”.