Georgie Shares his Thoughts on Day 63 of his Coma...


I'm mostly happy to report that, two days ago, Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) was able to sneak into the Clinic and Re-Install the Communications Link beetween me and what he's now calling his ‘Mark II Neuro-Transcriber and Relatively Portable Feeding Tube-Transmitter™’.

Am I right in Thinking that you can hear what I'm Thinking again? I hope so. I wouldn't wanna Think that I'm not just lying here, mistakenly Thinking that I’m Thinking for no good Reason, and that's for sure. But now that I Think about it, I should probably tell you more about what I'm Thinking about what's going on around here, so I Think I'm gonna do that.

First, it seems Unusually Quiet around here today. Apparently, this is No Visitors Day, which means that Orderly Beeson will bee Mopping the Floors sometime this afternoon, then he’s gonna change the Sheets on my Bed. You’d think I’d wake up in the middle of that, wouldn’t you? I haven’t yet.

Anyway, a little earlier today, I could hear that somebody had turned on the Ward’s High-Definition TV with Built-In Surround Sound and switched over to the Channel that Broadcasts my Stories. I was enjoying just Lying here, listening to the Latest Episode of
‘As The Hive Turns’ . We just found out that Lance was having an Illicit Affair with some Floozy from another Hive, and that while he was all buzzy doing that, his Niece, Lizza, had been Secretly Taking Over her uncle's Buzziness. Lance's Confidential Secretary, Gertie (who knows all about Lance's Illicit Affair, but who usually doesn't tell anybody anything beecause she is, after all, Lance's Confidential Secretary) had decided to tell Lance all about what's been Going On beehind his Back (for the sake of the Buzziness and her Job, of course) when that *CENSORED* Nurse Beeatrice decided to go on her regular 2-Hour Early Afternoon Break, and turned off the TV as she was leaving. That meant that I never got to hear the rest of the Episode.

Seriously now. How rude is that?

But, ya’ know, I’ve had to put up with that kind of Beehaviour from her Day In and Day Out ever since I got her however long ago that was. She's gotta bee the Worst Nurse of all time… er ...

Maybee I shouldn't Think that too loudly in case she Overhears what I’m Thinking and she starts tying Knots in my Feeding Tube again (I really don’t like it when she does that). I just don't want that kind of Trouble with her - I Seriously don't want to Make Waves, even if I am still in a Coma and I can’t Move. Still, I hafta say that I also don't like it when she's standing next to my Bed pretending to take care of me and I discover that she’s standing stands on the new Portable Feeding Tube-Transmitter™ Kevin installed two days ago. It turns out that when she stands on it, it breaks the Connection. I’m pretty sure she does that on Purpose, but I can't Prove it. Yet.

You know, I pretty much get the Feeling that Beeatrice doesn't like me, but I can't Imagine why she wouldn’t, can you? I mean, I know for sure that I'm absolutely one of the Quietest and Least Demanding Patients in the Clinic, probably, and I always do my Best to keep my Thinking to myself so I don't Aggravate her, even if there's not a
*CENSORED* of a lot I can other than Think while I just Lie here all the *CENSORED* time.

Anyway, I keeping Thinking that I was going to tell you something, but I don't seem to bee able to remember what the
*CENSORED* it was, but I...


I think I hear Beeatrice coming.

Yes, it's definitely Beeatrice, and I hear a Sloshing Sound getting Louder.

I Think it's That Time of Day that she's supposed to Refresh my Nectar Bag. Yeah, I can smell it, and she's close enough that I can even… .


It's Day 53 of Georgie's Coma, and his Lawyer, S.O.Bee is paying him a visit...


I’m sick of just lying here. I don’t even know how long I’ve been like this. Seriously now…my Stinger is Numb, and I’m pretty sure that *CENSORED*, Nurse Beeatrice, tied another knot in my Feeding Tube, just to bee mean.

But hey, at least I’m glad ButterCup and my Lawyer are here. Maybee they’ll notice that I’m not getting any Nutrition, and insist that Beeatrice gets the Flow Going again.

Oh now, this is good News… I just heard S.O.Bee tell ButterCup that he’s gotten a Restraining Order against Felonie Snark. That’s a huge Relief beecause it means that Felonie can’t try to sneak back into the Hive Clinic's Questionably Traumatic Cranial Injury Ward (which is where I am, so I hear) and try to yank out my Feeding Tube if it happens to bee in her best Interests, which I’ve heard she thinks it is. After her Visit last week, I’ve gotten the feeling that Felonie doesn’t Like me.

How could somebody not Like me?

You know, If and When I ever get out of this Bed, remind me not to forget to remember to pay that
*CENSORED*, Felonie, a little Visit so I can give her a Piece of my Mind about this whole thing.

Wait a minute. Now this is good . . . ButterCup just pointed out to S.O.Bee that there’s something wrong with my Feeding Tube. He’s buzzing for Nurse Beeatrice to ‘Get in here and fix this Problem or face the Consequences…’. It feels like he’s pulling on my Feeding Tube…it feels like he’s going to pull it out of my Mouthparts. No, wait…he just asked, ‘What the
*CENSORED* is this?!’. He’s pulling harder on something else and I don’t think it’s my Feeding Tube. NO! I think he’s grabbing the… OH NO! It feels like he’s pulling out the Tube that Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) cleverly disguised as a Feeding Tube, but which is, in reality, the Tube that connects me to Kevin’s Thought Transcription Device!

WOAH! Don’t do that! Oh geeeeeeze…if he keeps pulling on it like this he’s gonna… .


It's Day 46...

… of Georgie’s Coma, and we’ve just heard more from the Patient…


"I have to say that I really wish I could Emerge from this Persistent Coma already. I’m sick of this. I’m sick of just Lying Here. It’s beeyond Boring.

Also, from what I've been Overhearing over the past, few days, there appear to bee Individuals around me who aren't necessarily looking out for my Best Interests.

I think it was about four or five days ago (I can't bee sure, since I don't have a Calendar, and beeing in a Coma as I am, I couldn't see it anyway to know what Day it is - and, beesides, I lost Count a long time ago, as you already know, probably) that Kevin's Estranged Sister (and apparently, my Possibly Illegitimate Niece), Felonie Snark, suddenly showed up here on Visitor’s Day in what is apparently the Hive Clinic's Questionably Traumatic Cranial Injury Ward
. I could hear that she was carrying a huge Bunch of Papers in her Wing.

'These,' she told Nurse Beeatrice (who just happened to bee trying to untie a big Knot in my Feeding least, I think that's what she was doing), 'are Papers which I need my Possibly Illegitimate Uncle to Sign. They grant me Power over his Buzziness Affairs. They also Authorise me to Disconnect his Feeding Tube should I decide it is in my Best Interests to do so, which I beelieve it may bee.’

'You're in for some Major Disappointment,' I heard Nurse Beeatrice tell her. ‘I don’t have a Problem with your Papers, but the Fact is that the Patient is simply in no Position to Sign them - or anything. Beelieve me, I’ve tried. If he could Sign something, don't you think I would have been able to get him to Sign this Do Not Revive Order so I can worry about other things around here? Yes, I would have. But as I said, this bee is not Capable of Signing your Papers. Please leave.'

It was right about then that I heard ButterCup's voice (it's very recognisable, you know...she has a very sultry buzz).

'I'm glad I just happened to bee here at this Moment,' she said. 'Even if my Georgie could Sign any Papers, I wouldn't let him Sign those Papers. And just to make
*CENSORED* sure you don't try to pull anything here, I'll bee contacting Georgie's Lawyer, S.O.Bee. I'm going to demand that he obtain an Official Keep The *CENSORED* Away From the *CENSORED* Patient Order with the Hive Court. After today, you will not bee allowed to bee anywhere near Georgie, at least until after he wakes up from this Coma, which I'm sure he will very soon. Now go away,’ she said. Then I heard Felonie do that - she took her Papers and left, but not without buzzing really loudly, ‘THIS ISN’T OVER!’

I hafta say that I am Highly Glad that I have ButterCup to watch out for my Best Interests, and I Deeply Appreciate her Confidence that, soon, I'll come out of this Coma. I hope she’s right. Still, the one thing that kind of took the Joy out of the Moment was that, after Felonie finally left, ButterCup sat down next to my Bed and started reading more of those False Crime Stories. I could have Sworn that I asked somebody to talk to her about that.

Anyway, I do want to share that the last time I Overheard my Dr., Ph.Bee, talking to Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew), he said that the...


Georgie Overhears a Dispute of the Events that led to his Coma...


“So I was just lying here the other, minding my own Buzziness (as those of us who are in Comas do, usually), when I just happened to overhear what I’d have to call an Unpleasantly Heated Conversation beetween ButterCup and Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew). Apparently, they were having a Huge Argument over how I ended up in a Coma like I am.

My Memory of the Events that led up to me ending up in the Coma is Clearly Fuzzy, so I was doing my best to Remember what the
*CENSORED* happened, but I do Remember enough to know that somebody has been Lying about this whole thing.

The last thing I Remember was beeing at one of ButterCup’s Sunday Suppers. As I Recall, the Guests were Kevin, ButterCup (of course), me, and two bees from Costa Rica who were somebody’s Alleged Cousins, and who none of us had ever met beefore.

Anyway, I was lying here listening to them Arguing when I heard Kevin say, ‘No, ButterCup, I am completely Confident that you are Utterly Mistaken. It was AFTER your Alleged Cousins from Costa Rica had told you they hated your Pollen Casserole that the Fight Broke out.’

‘Wrong,’ I heard ButterCup say. ‘They weren’t MY Alleged Cousins, Kevin, they were YOURS, and the whole thing started when they mentioned that they were Carnivores. That’s when you got into an Altercation with one of those guys after you called him a ‘Cannibal’,’ she said.

‘I did NOT call them Cannibals, even though - if you ask me - that’s what they were,’ Kevin told her. ‘If they eat Meat, like your Alleged Cousins did…’

‘YOUR Alleged Cousins,’ ButterCup interrupted him.

‘Bee that as it may,’ Kevin continued, ‘the Issue was that after they told you that your Casserole was Totally Lacking in Essential Nutrients, Proteins, and Flavour, I was in the Process of Informing them that they were beeing Highly Rude and Inappropriate, and as I was Politely Advising them that they should gather their Beelongings and leave, you got all Huffy and Flew off the Handle. That’s when you threw the Casserole Dish at them which hit Georgie in the head and put him into this Coma.’

I couldn’t see the Expression on ButterCup’s Face, but I can Imagine that it wasn’t her usual, ‘You Seem To Bee Mostly Pleasant and I Might Like You Beecause We’re Getting Along So Well’ Face. No, she sounded more like she had her ‘Just What the
*CENSORED* Are You Trying to Pull Here, Buster’ Face.

‘I did NOT ‘Fly Off the Handle’, as you put it. And I did NOT throw the
*CENSORED* Casserole Dish at them. I was, in fact, Passing it to you Very Rapidly and you simply failed to Catch it. It bounced off the Table in front of you and hit poor Georgie in the head.’

‘No,’ I heard Kevin say. ‘Just beefore I was ready to catch the
*CENSORED* Casserole Dish, Georgie leaned into its Path and ended up suffering the Critical Head Injury that put him into this Persistent Vegetative State.’

‘So now you’re saying this is all Georgie’s fault?’

ButterCup didn’t sound all that Pleased about what Kevin was trying to tell her, and for the next, several minutes, she and Kevin just kept Loudly Buzzing at each other. If you ask me, they were both getting Overly Loud about the whole thing, and nobody was listening to what anybody had to say about anything. That’s when I heard that
*CENSORED*, Nurse Beeatrice, come into the Room. She told them they were beeing too Noisy and that they had to leave.

‘You’re disturbing the Patient,’ I heard Nurse Beeatrice buzz at them. ‘The last thing I want to have to Deal With is to have this bee Wake Up and start asking me for a Bunch of Stuff. I just don’t need that in my Life today. You have to leave. Now,’ she said, and I’ll bet she was pointing her Wing at the Exit.

‘Fine,’ they both said, then I heard them leave.

If my Memory Serves (which it usually sometimes always quite often does), something did (obviously) happened during that Supper which led to a Massive Dispute and to my beeing in this now-Persistent Coma, but I don’t Remember anybody throwing anything at anybody. What I DO remember, though is that when… “


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