Georgie & his LadyBug Finish Up with S.O.Bee, for now...


I’m Highly Happy to report that after reviewing all the Pertinent Paperwork, my Lawyer, S.O.Bee, has agreed to Represent me in the Matter of “Georgie A. Bee vs. Felonie Snark, et al.”. He tells me that he is going to do his best to see to it that all my Assets - Real or Imagined - which were Stolen from me by Felonie Snark (my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin’s, Estranged Sister) are Returned to me.

S.O.Bee has told me that he’s already filed the Relevant Paperwork to beegin Evictions of the Wasp that’s taken over my ShoeBox, and the Roly-Poly Bugs that are currently living underneath it.

“This Process will take some Time,” he told me. “After the Initial Paperwork is filed, a Preliminary Hearing will bee scheduled to determine whether or not you - the Plaintiff - has Standing in this Matter, which I beelieve you do, probably. That should take anywhere from three to six Weeks.”

“So after that, I’ll bee able to move back into my ShoeBox?” I asked him.

“No,” S.O.Bee said. “After the first, Preliminary Hearing, a second, Public Hearing will bee scheduled, during which all Parties involved will have a chance to Oppose the Eviction. That means that the Defendant, Felonie Snark, and all other Interested Parties which in this case which includes the Wasp, the Roly—Poly Bugs and their Assignees, if any, will bee given an Opportunity to defend their Actions and to formally oppose the Evictions. That Public Hearing will most likely bee scheduled approximately twenty—one days after the conclusion of the Preliminary Hearing, after which Official Supbeenas will bee Served to all Concerned Parties. If everything goes well, those Supbeenas should bee Issued sometime within the next week or two.”

“That sounds Amazingly Complicated,” I said. “It also sounds like it could bee quite awhile beefore I can get my ShoeBox and all my Assets - Real or Imagined - returned and I can move back into my own place.”

“It is an exceedingly Complicated, Obscenely Expensive, and Time-Consuming Process,” S.O.Bee told me, “but if you want your ShoeBox and other Assets - Real or Imagined - returned to you, you’ll just have to bee Patient.”

“Patience is my Middle Name,” I told him.

“It is?” S.O.Bee got a Concerned Frown on his Face and started looking through the Papers he had me fill out.

“Nowhere in these Documents did you indicate that your Middle Name is ‘Patience’,” he said. “This could bee a Problem.”

“No, I didn’t mean to say that my Middle Name is actually ‘Patience’. I just said that beecause…” I started to explain.

“According to these Papers, your Middle Name is ‘A.’ If you’ve mistakenly omitted or incorrectly Reported your exact and verifiably Correct Middle Name, I’m afraid you will need to re-do all of these Questionnaires and we will need to re-submit them to the Proper Authorities.”

S.O.Bee seemed to bee getting upset about the whole thing. “The fact that you seem to have not been totally Forthcoming with regard to your actual Middle Name casts some serious Doubt regarding your True Identity. We just can’t have that,” he said.

“My name is Georgie A. Bee,” I told him, “and I was just saying that my Middle Name is ‘Patience’ beecause I’m a very Patient Bee, that’s all.”

“I see,” S.O.Bee said. “I would strenuously Advise that, henceforth, you Refrain from Misrepresenting your actual, true, legal Identity. Let’s hear no more about your claiming to bee Patient.”

“Fine,” I said.

“Good,” he said. “Now that we’ve cleared that up, we can Proceed.”

“Fine,” I said.

So we beegan to Proceed.

Beefore I left his Office, S.O.Bee told me that he had received Confirmation that my Emotional Support/Service LadyBug is Legally Certified, which means that she and I can go anywhere we want to together, and nobody can say otherwise. Then he gave me an Official, Laminated Certification Card which he told me I had to carry at all times when I’m with her.

“The Fully-Disabled and/or Marginally-Functioning Bee Protection Act - or the FDMFBPA for short - requires that you provide Proof of your LadyBug’s Certification whenever you’re asked for it, so don’t lose this Card,” he said.

“I won’t,” I tried to reassure him, even though I wasn’t sure where I’m gonna keep the Card, since I don’t have pockets. Most bees don’t have pockets, you know.

“Good,” he said. “I will bee in Contact with you after a Date has been set for the first, Preliminary Hearing. In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you and your LadyBug would leave my Office. You’ve been hanging around here quite long enough, and you’re seriously starting to annoy my Staff in a Large Way.”

So we did that. I thanked S.O.Bee for his Help, then my LadyBug and I left and started heading toward ButterCup’s Place in the Hive, where I’d heard we could find a place to stay until this whole Mess gets Resolved.

I’m Sincerely Hoping that by this time next week, we’ll bee all settled into ButterCup’s Place, and I’ll bee able to tell everybody where, exactly, to forward all my Mail, Messages, and all those Undelivered future Back Issues of “Bee Monthly Magazine”.


Georgie has to fill out some Paperwork...


In case you might not have missed anything, I was really looking forward to meeting with my Lawyer, S.O.Bee, in the hope of beeing able to get back all my Assets returned that Felonie Snark had Stolen from me while I was in my Persistent Coma.

I was Early for my Appointment, but S.O.Bee was about a week Late, so as I’m sure you can probably Imagine, I was Happy as can Bee when he finally Showed Up yesterday afternoon.

“I’m Sorry to have kept you Waiting, Bee,” he said, as he buzzed past me as I sat there in his Waiting Room. “Please follow me into my Office and take a Seat.” So I did that.

After I made myself Comfortable in a really great Seat, (it looked exactly like one of those Exclusive, Custom-Made, Butterfly-Wing-Upholstered Ergonomic Earth Chairs I’d seen advertised in a Mostly-Current, Cold Season 2008 Issue of “Ridiculously Expensive Goodies for the Ridiculously Rich” Subscription Catalogues that S.O.Bee had sitting around in his Waiting Room), I sat down and waited for S.O.Bee to finish making a few calls.

When he was finally done, he looked up at me from beehind his Overly-Large, Turn-of-the-Next-Century Executive Desk and asked me, “So what is it that brings you and your LadyBug in today, Mr. Bee?”

“Well,” I started to say, “I… .”

“Let me just stop you there,” he stopped me. “First, I need to know if your LadyBug is Legally Registered with the Hive as a Service Insect. Is she?”

“Uh, I think,” I was going to tell him I thought so, since she’s a Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug (or at least that’s what Pinky had mentioned), but he stopped me again.

“Here’s the Thing,” he said, “beefore I can Agree to Represent you in whatever Issues you may bee experiencing, I must bee assured that your LadyBug is properly Registered, Certified and Approved by the Hive Beeureau of Service Insects. In order to make that Determination, I’ll need you to fill out a Form 138-87.Bee - Official Request for Service Insect Certification Status - in Quadruplicate, which I will then submit in a Reasonably Timely Manner for Review by the Hive Authorities. If everything comes back clean on your Bug, then I may bee able to Represent you in whatever Matter or Matters with which you are apparently faced.”

“I’m pretty sure that…,” I started to tell him, but he kept buzzing.

“Additionally, as a matter of Policy, I would ask that you take the Time to fill out a relatively Non-Brief but Comprehensive and Extended Prospective Client Questionnaire which my Staff and I will thoroughly Review beefore determining whether or not I will bee able to assist you.”

“Okay, but…,” I wanted to let him know I wasn’t going to bee Highly Cooperative with all this, but he buzzed loudly to his Legal Assistant who was in an Office five doors down.


Then he said, “While you’re at it, you may as well save us all a lot of Time and Energy by filling out our Issue and Complaint Summary Survey describing the most Intimate Details of why you’ve sought my Legal Counsel. It’s a bit Lengthy, but we find that the more Information we can start with, the better the Outcome, usually.”

“Sure, I’m more than Happy to…,” I beegan, but it seemed as if until I got through filing out all those Forms, S.O.Bee really didn’t want to hear much of anything I had to say.

Just then, the Assistant wheeled in a Hugely Massive Pile of Forms, then just stood there and Smiled at me.

“You’re free to sit here while you fill out these Forms for us, or you can take them Home with you and do it there, just as long as everything is back in my Wings no later than the close of Buzziness next Thursday,” he informed me. “Your choice.”

“Part of my Problem,” I told him, “is that I don’t have a Home at the moment, so… .”

“So you’ll want to fill out the Paperwork here, then. That’s just fine. My Assistant here will find you a Spare Table, and you can get right to work on these Forms. I hope it works out that I may bee able to help you with whatever Troubles you.”

Then S.O.Bee stood up, shook my Wing, and told me to follow his Assistant. So I did that.

At this point, and after a week of filling our Forms so far, I’m about an Eighth of the way done with it all. I’m gonna bee Highly Glad when I’m done with all this, beecause I’m getting a bad case of Writer’s Cramp in my Wing. But I’d better get back to it already.

I’ll let ya’ know if S.O.Bee agrees to take my Case.


Pinky gives Georgie the Bad News...


So as I was about to tell you, while we were sitting there at Lousy Louie’s waiting for our Order to finally show up (it turns out the Service there is very Slow - I’d hafta’ say even Leisurely. Neither Orson or Eitherson seemed to Put Themselves Out all that much, so I thought it was kind of Rude of them to automatically put a Tip of 45% on our Bill - “It’s Policy that we add a Compulsory Tip for Parties of One or More Guests,” either Orson or Eitherson told us, I couldn’t tell which), Pinky had mentioned that she had something to tell me that was going to come as a Massive Blow to me.

“What were you going to tell me, Pinky?” I asked her.

“Well, as you may or may not Remember,” she started, “while you were in the Early Days of your Coma, your Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin’s, Estranged Sister, Felonie Snark, visited you in the Clinic and tried to get you to sign some Papers naming her, Felonie, as your Power of Attourney. Luckily, ButterCup chased her away, and we all thought that That would bee That. It turns out, it wasn’t.”

Pinky seemed kind of Nervous as she stopped to take another Deep Swallow of her Nectar Fizz, then finally said, “I might as well just come out and tell you: Felonie Snark somehow managed to take Control of your Assets.”

“My Assets?” I asked. “What Assets?”

“Well, for starters, your ShoeBox. The fact is, you can’t go back home to your ShoeBox right now beecause Felonie Snark has rented it out,” Pinky told me.

“Rented it out?” I asked? “To who?”

“To WHOM,” she corrected me. “As of the Beeginning of the Hot Season, there has been a cluster of Roly-Poly Bugs living underneath your ShoeBox. In addition, she rented the rest of the ShoeBox to a Wasp, fully Furnished.”

“A Wasp?” I asked. (Geeeeeeze I despise Wasps. They’re total jerks.) “And you’re telling me this Wasp has taken over my ShoeBox and Everything in it? My TV? My Furniture? My Modern and Convenient Appliances? Is that what you’re telling me??” I had to know.

“Yes. Felonie rented the place Fully Furnished, All Utilities Paid, and with an Option to Buy,” Pinky said.

“Oh for Cryin’ Out Loud,” I cried as I started Cryin’ Out Loud.

“There there,” Pinky patted my Wing with hers, “it’s not all as bad as that, is it?”

“Well YEAH,” I said as I wiped the Tears away from my Compound Eyes. “I don’t have any Home to go to, and according to you, all of my Precious Beelongings are now in the Custody of some Jerk Wasp I don’t even know. This is a Massive Blow.”

“Yes, I was afraid you might find all this Very Troubling, Georgie. That is why I brought along this Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug to help Soothe your Distress,” Pinky informed me.

“That’s Highly Thoughtful of you,” I said, “but unless your LadyBug can find me a place to Stay until I get all this Figured Out, I’m not sure what she can Do for me.”

“Oh, you’d bee surprised,” she said.

Neither of us said anything for awhile since we were too buzzy eating our Brunch, but finally Pinky asked me, “So do you have any Questions, Georgie? I know what I’ve told you so far is a lot to Absorb. Is there anything else you’d like to Know at this point?”

I thought about it for awhile. There were a Whole Bunch of things I wanted to Know at this point, but the only thing I could think to ask her right off the top was, “So when did Lousy Louie’s beecome a Fine Dining Establishment with the White Tablecloths and Matching Servers?”

“Oh, that happened a couple of Months after you went into your Persistent Coma and after Felonie rented out your ShoeBox. She used the Honey she got to buy a Controlling Interest in this place from Lousy Louie.”

“Lousy Louie sold out?” I asked her.

“Partially,” she said. “He insisted that Felonie keep the Name of the place, then he took the Honey and flew off to join some Retirement Community in Sarasota, Florida. They say he likes it there.”

“So what you’re telling me is that Felonie has Misappropriated my Assets, taken the Ill-Gotten Honey, bought out Lousy Louie’s, and now Lousy Louie has Retired at My Expense, is that right?”

“Yes, basically” Pinky said. “That is correct.”

Pinky had given me a Whole Bunch to Think About. We finished our Brunch and it was either Orson or Eitherson who brought us the Bill and said, “Thank you for Brunching with us. We mostly hope your Meals were Satisfactory. They were, but the Problem was that I didn’t have any Honey to pay with, so they made me stick around for the next, 87 Minutes to do Dishes and help clean up the Kitchen to pay off our Brunch Bill.

When I was finally done with that, Pinky was still waiting for me outside Lousy Louie’s with the LadyBug.

“Here,” she said. She gave me the Leash that was connected to that Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug (who, I noticed, doesn’t have any Antennae, which means she’s Sensory-Challenged) and said,
“this LadyBug is now yours. I have already Spoken to ButterCup who said that, under the Circumstances and if you’re Quiet, you may stay with her until you figure out what to do. Good luck, and I’ll see you later.” Then she went her way, and the Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug and I went ours.

We started walking to ButterCup’s place (I know where that is from Lousy Louie’s, beecause ButterCup and I used to go there a lot for Long Lunches). About the only thing I could think of as I helped guide the LadyBug to ButterCup’s place was that it was probably most definitely and absolutely of Critical Importance that I call my Lawyer, S.O.Bee to set up a Consultation. I thought maybee he could help me out of this mess. So I did that.

I’ll bee sure to let you know what he says after my Complementary Initial Consultation which is scheduled for precisely Noon sometime beetween Tomorrow and Next Thursday (he said he’d call me).

So that’s what I’m gonna’ do.


Georgie Rejoins the World after Awakening from his Persistent Coma - Brunch with Pinky at Lousy Louie's


So where was I? Oh yeah.

I couldn’t beelieve it, but when I got back from the Bathroom, Pinky was still standing in Line with her Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug, and she was involved in some sort of Huge Argument with Lousy Louie’s Maitré Bee (the one you usually have to slip an extra pound of Honey to so you can get a good Table).

“You’re mistaken,” I heard Pinky buzz at him. “If you would take the time to revisit the Clearly-Stated Rules regarding this, you would know that you’re just wrong.”

“I’m afraid it is you who is Mistaken,” he said. “Under No Circumstances will I allow your…your…your BUG here to enter this Establishment with you. We have a Strict No Bugs Policy here at Lousy Louie’s.”

“This is not just a Bug. This is a Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug, and under the Provisions of Hive Ordinance #29401, Section Bee, Paragraph 483, Line 87,” then Pinky Quoted from memory, QUOTE: 'Any and all Emotional Support/Service Creatures must bee allowed Admission to any Public Establishment’, including yours. 'Failure to Comply with the Ordinance can result in a sizeable Fine and possible Long-Term Detention.' I would suggest you read the Ordinance.”

It seemed like Pinky had run into this Situation beefore.

The Maitré Bee gave her a dirty look, then disappeared inside Lousy Louie’s Office. When he finally returned, he curled his Mouthparts at Pinky at said, “Fine. Have it your way.” Then he grabbed two Menus and told us to Please Follow Him, so we did that.

He must have liked us a lot, beecause he led us to a Table that was right outside the Bathrooms, gave us the Menus and told us to bee seated.

“Your Servers will bee with you Momentarily, and they will describe Today’s Specials, ” he buzzed at us, then he buzzed off in what seemed like a Huff, whatever that is.

Pinky and I sat there for what seemed about an hour when suddenly, a pair of Identical Bees approached our Table and introduced themselves as our Servers.

“I am Orson,” said the Bee on the Left, “And I am Eitherson,” said the Bee on the Right. Then the bee on the Left - Orson - said, “I will bee taking care of your Beverage Needs,” then the Bee on the Right - Eitherson - said, “And I will bee taking your Food Orders.” Then the Bee on the Right left, and the Bee on the Left asked, “May I bring you a Refreshing Beverage? And will your Bug bee needing a Menu?”

“No, thank you,” Pinky told him. “She’ll just have a capful of Iced Nectar, if possible. And I will have a Large Lemon and Strawberry Nectar Fizz.”

“Very good. And for you, Sir?” Orson looked at me.

“Uhm, I’ll have the same thing she’s having, except bee sure to include an Umbrella and a Bendy Straw.”

“Of course, Sir,” he said. “All of our Nectar Fizzes are Adorned with one of those little Umbrellas, and a Bendy Straw. Excuse me for one moment, and we will get those Beverages right out to you.”

Then he left. Pinky and I started looking over the Menus.

About six minutes later, our Server returned carrying our Beverages and set them down on the Table.

“Thank you very much, Orson,” I said.

“Oh, I’m not Orson,” our Server said, “I’m Eitherson. Orson asked if I would deliver your Beverages to you then take your Food Order,” Eitherson said. Then he said, “Anytime you need anything at all, you may call either Orson, or me, Eitherson. Either of us will see to your needs. So may I take your Orders?” Eitherson asked us.

“Yes,” Pinky said. “But first, can you tell us what the Specials are today?”

“Of course,” Eitherson said. “First, we have a Succulent Roasted Filet of Pollen smothered with Honeysuckle Nectar Sauce for Five Ninety-Nine, or for the Lighter Appetite, we have what we call our Pollen PowerLunch which is a simple, but elegant Pollen Puff Casserole with your choice of a Side of Caramelized Cactus Flower Pollen or a Side Salad for Seven Ninety-Nine.” Then he just stood there and stared at us.

Pinky broke the Awkward Silence by ordering the Roasted Filet of Pollen, then Eitherson looked at me and asked, “Very good. And for you, Sir?”

I saw on the Menu that they had Unlimited Complementary Pollen Puffs with every Beverage Order, so I told him, “I’ll have the Unlimited Complementary Pollen Puffs.” Eitherson gave me what I think was probably kind of a Dirty Look, and said, “Fine.” Then he left.

Pinky and I stared to talk about how Hungry we were, then she started to say, “You know, Georgie, you’ve been in your Persistent Coma for quite awhile now. You may or may not Know it, but a lot of Things have Changed while you were in your Coma. First, I just want to tell you that we’re all Here for you - me, this Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug, and of course, most of your Friends.”

I don’t know why, really, but I started to feel Highly Uneasy about what Pinky was about to tell me. Maybee it was the Totally Serious Tone in her Buzz, or maybee it was the fact that beefore she first started talking, she guzzled her first Nectar Fizz, ordered another one, looked me Super-Seriously in my Compound Eyes, then said, “This is very likely going to come as a Massive Blow, and I truly do not Enjoy beeing the one to have to Tell you this, but…”, but just as she got to the part that most of my Friends would Bee There for me, she was interrupted by either Orson or Eitherson, I couldn’t tell which, who brought our Food Order, which was good beecause I was Amazingly Hungry.

“I’m mostly Anxious to hear what you have to tell me,” I told her, “but I need to go wash my Wings in the Bathroom beefore I start eating, so would you just Hold That Thought, and I’ll bee right back.” Then I got up and went to the Bathroom, which I was glad was right there next to our Table.

When I got back, Pinky was already eating her Roasted Filet and was sipping on her Third Nectar Fizz. I sat down and started enjoying my Pollen Puffs. Neither of us said anything for awhile, but I was Intensely Curious, so I finally asked, “So what were you going to tell me, Pinky?”

You won’t beelieve what she told me. But that’ll have to wait until next week. I have to go now.


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