So as I was about to tell you, while we were sitting there at Lousy Louie’s waiting for our Order to finally show up (it turns out the Service there is very Slow - I’d hafta’ say even Leisurely. Neither Orson or Eitherson seemed to Put Themselves Out all that much, so I thought it was kind of Rude of them to automatically put a Tip of 45% on our Bill - “It’s Policy that we add a Compulsory Tip for Parties of One or More Guests,” either Orson or Eitherson told us, I couldn’t tell which), Pinky had mentioned that she had something to tell me that was going to come as a Massive Blow to me.

“What were you going to tell me, Pinky?” I asked her.

“Well, as you may or may not Remember,” she started, “while you were in the Early Days of your Coma, your Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin’s, Estranged Sister, Felonie Snark, visited you in the Clinic and tried to get you to sign some Papers naming her, Felonie, as your Power of Attourney. Luckily, ButterCup chased her away, and we all thought that That would bee That. It turns out, it wasn’t.”

Pinky seemed kind of Nervous as she stopped to take another Deep Swallow of her Nectar Fizz, then finally said, “I might as well just come out and tell you: Felonie Snark somehow managed to take Control of your Assets.”

“My Assets?” I asked. “What Assets?”

“Well, for starters, your ShoeBox. The fact is, you can’t go back home to your ShoeBox right now beecause Felonie Snark has rented it out,” Pinky told me.

“Rented it out?” I asked? “To who?”

“To WHOM,” she corrected me. “As of the Beeginning of the Hot Season, there has been a cluster of Roly-Poly Bugs living underneath your ShoeBox. In addition, she rented the rest of the ShoeBox to a Wasp, fully Furnished.”

“A Wasp?” I asked. (Geeeeeeze I despise Wasps. They’re total jerks.) “And you’re telling me this Wasp has taken over my ShoeBox and Everything in it? My TV? My Furniture? My Modern and Convenient Appliances? Is that what you’re telling me??” I had to know.

“Yes. Felonie rented the place Fully Furnished, All Utilities Paid, and with an Option to Buy,” Pinky said.

“Oh for Cryin’ Out Loud,” I cried as I started Cryin’ Out Loud.

“There there,” Pinky patted my Wing with hers, “it’s not all as bad as that, is it?”

“Well YEAH,” I said as I wiped the Tears away from my Compound Eyes. “I don’t have any Home to go to, and according to you, all of my Precious Beelongings are now in the Custody of some Jerk Wasp I don’t even know. This is a Massive Blow.”

“Yes, I was afraid you might find all this Very Troubling, Georgie. That is why I brought along this Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug to help Soothe your Distress,” Pinky informed me.

“That’s Highly Thoughtful of you,” I said, “but unless your LadyBug can find me a place to Stay until I get all this Figured Out, I’m not sure what she can Do for me.”

“Oh, you’d bee surprised,” she said.

Neither of us said anything for awhile since we were too buzzy eating our Brunch, but finally Pinky asked me, “So do you have any Questions, Georgie? I know what I’ve told you so far is a lot to Absorb. Is there anything else you’d like to Know at this point?”

I thought about it for awhile. There were a Whole Bunch of things I wanted to Know at this point, but the only thing I could think to ask her right off the top was, “So when did Lousy Louie’s beecome a Fine Dining Establishment with the White Tablecloths and Matching Servers?”

“Oh, that happened a couple of Months after you went into your Persistent Coma and after Felonie rented out your ShoeBox. She used the Honey she got to buy a Controlling Interest in this place from Lousy Louie.”

“Lousy Louie sold out?” I asked her.

“Partially,” she said. “He insisted that Felonie keep the Name of the place, then he took the Honey and flew off to join some Retirement Community in Sarasota, Florida. They say he likes it there.”

“So what you’re telling me is that Felonie has Misappropriated my Assets, taken the Ill-Gotten Honey, bought out Lousy Louie’s, and now Lousy Louie has Retired at My Expense, is that right?”

“Yes, basically” Pinky said. “That is correct.”

Pinky had given me a Whole Bunch to Think About. We finished our Brunch and it was either Orson or Eitherson who brought us the Bill and said, “Thank you for Brunching with us. We mostly hope your Meals were Satisfactory. They were, but the Problem was that I didn’t have any Honey to pay with, so they made me stick around for the next, 87 Minutes to do Dishes and help clean up the Kitchen to pay off our Brunch Bill.

When I was finally done with that, Pinky was still waiting for me outside Lousy Louie’s with the LadyBug.

“Here,” she said. She gave me the Leash that was connected to that Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug (who, I noticed, doesn’t have any Antennae, which means she’s Sensory-Challenged) and said,
“this LadyBug is now yours. I have already Spoken to ButterCup who said that, under the Circumstances and if you’re Quiet, you may stay with her until you figure out what to do. Good luck, and I’ll see you later.” Then she went her way, and the Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug and I went ours.

We started walking to ButterCup’s place (I know where that is from Lousy Louie’s, beecause ButterCup and I used to go there a lot for Long Lunches). About the only thing I could think of as I helped guide the LadyBug to ButterCup’s place was that it was probably most definitely and absolutely of Critical Importance that I call my Lawyer, S.O.Bee to set up a Consultation. I thought maybee he could help me out of this mess. So I did that.

I’ll bee sure to let you know what he says after my Complementary Initial Consultation which is scheduled for precisely Noon sometime beetween Tomorrow and Next Thursday (he said he’d call me).

So that’s what I’m gonna’ do.