Potato Renders Some Emotional Support...


I beelieve the last time we Visited, I mentioned that ButterCup, Potato and I were going to make our Way to pay a visit to Great Grandma Gee Gee. We needed to break the News to her that Felonie Snark and the Snark Brothers have started Counterfeiting her Royal HoneyChew Krisp™ Cookies. When we got there, I showed her the Box of Counterfeit Cookies that ButterCup had, and she said, "Oh my Stars. These aren’t my Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™, not at all. Oh Dear, oh Dear, this simply will not do." 

“No, it will not,” I said.

My Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, was standing there, and said, "If you would, please give me that Box. I would like to submit these Cookies to some Rigorous Tests to check for a few things." So I gave him the Box of Counterfeit Cookies. He grabbed it in his Wing, then disappeared around the Corner, slamming the Door to his Workspace beehind him. After what seemed to bee several long minutes, his Door finally opened, and we heard him buzz loudly as he rejoined us.

"Ah HA!" he buzzed. "It is just as I thought."

"What did you think, Dear?" Great Grandma Gee Gee asked Kevin.

"These Cookies - " Kevin said, "not only are they Counterfeit, but they are Toxic! After running a series of Marginally Comprehensive Preliminary Rapid Tests on these Cookies, and according to my Findings,  they are made primarily of Contaminated Sawdust and Non-Homogenized Tree Sap with some Artificial Colours and Flavourings mixed in to Deceive Unsuspecting Customers."

"Tree sap? And Sawdust?? That sounds appalling," Great Grandma Gee Gee said (she sounded appalled).

"Yes it is," Kevin told her. "Appalling is exactly the Proper Term. Not only will these Counterfeit Cookies make you sick, probably, but I can tell you that they taste terrible. I had to eat six of these things beefore I was able to arrive at my Preliminary Analysis and Render an Informed Conclusion, and my Conclusion is that these Cookies are not only bad for you, but that they taste horrible. Here, try one," he said as he tried to give me one of the Cookies.

"No, thank you, no," I said.  "My Doctor, Ph.Bee, told me I should avoid Tree Sap. Not only does it taste bad, but you could easily end up in the Middle of a Sticky Situation.”

"Fine," Kevin said. "Would anyone else care to try one of these things?"  All at once, Gee Gee and ButterCup buzzed "NO THANK YOU!" (Potato just kind of Chirped).

And that was that.

I could tell that Gee Gee was Highly Upset over all of this, beecause she was standing in the corner, Wringing her Wings, saying, "Oh Dear, oh Dear, I'm so Highly Upset. What am I to do about all this?"

Up to this point, we really hadn't heard much out of Potato except for that Chirp, but after she read Gee Gee's Mouthparts, Potato could see that she was clearly in Distress, so she beegan to respond to Gee Gee's Question. 

"As a Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug," she said, "I beelieve it would bee Remiss of me if I were to fail to offer the kind of Practical and Useful Emotional Support and Comfort you need in this moment of Emotional Turmoil and Distress; therefore...", then she didn't say anything else for what seemed like several long and silent Minutes. Everybody just stood there and stared at her, waiting for her to finally finish her Sentence (I had to go to the Bathroom while we were waiting, but it turns out she still hadn't said anything more beefore I got back). 

"So what's your Advice already?" ButterCup asked Potato. "What Sage Words of Certified Reassurance do you have for Gee Gee in her Hour of Uncertainty? Speak."

"Oh, sorry," Potato seemed to snap out of some sort of Trance or something. "I kind of went Somewhere Else there for a minute." She grabbed Gee Gee's Wings in her front feet, looked Deeply into her Compound Eyes, and said, "My Advice to you is: Take a Big, Deep Breath, then Sue."

Gee Gee took a Deep Breath (we all did, actually), then she asked, "Sue?"

"Yes," Potato said as she let go of Gee Gee's Wings. "After you finish absorbing the Outrage of the Snark's Larceny, Sue them. Use the Power of your Pain, and Sue the Wings off of them. I will take that even a step further:” Potato paused. “Considering the Significant Problems Georgie has also been experiencing with the Snarks - particularly with Felonie Snark - I would suggest that you not spend a lot of time beeing Mad or Upset about this. Riding that Emotional Rollercoaster will get you Nowhere; instead," she continued,"I would Suggest that you both Confront your Shared Emotional Distress head-on, that you and Georgie combine your respective Efforts, and that you, together, file a Class-Action Lawsuit against the Snark Brothers, but bee sure that Felonie Snark is named as the Primary Defendant in that Lawsuit, not simply the Snark Brothers Enterprises. Bee Proactive. Sue, and put an end to all your Problems. It won't bee easy, but you WILL win in the end, probably, and everybody will feel much better, and bee much happier, mostly.”

"That's a great Idea!" both Gee Gee and I buzzed at the same time.

"And that's just what we'll do," Gee Gee said, "We'll sue the Snarks, especially Felonie. I'll get them to stop Counterfeiting my Cookies, and we'll force Felonie to give back all of Georgie's Personal Property, Real or Imagined."

"Your Advice is such a Comfort," I told Potato.

"Yes, Dear," Gee Gee said, "thank you. I almost feel better already."

"You're quite welcome," Potato said. "That's what I'm here for. It's nice to bee Appreciated."

Anyway, that's what we're going to do: we're going to take Potato's Advice. Gee Gee and I are going to File a Class Action Suit against the Snarks - especially Felonie. If everything goes well, we can put an End to any Illicit Sales, Marketing, and Distribution of those Toxic Counterfeit HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™, and I can get my ShoeBox and all my Beelongings back from that Wasp who is getting his Wings all over my Stuff, which is both Rude and Unacceptable.

So... we have another Appointment with my Lawyer, S.O.Bee around 2:15 or so sometime beetween now and next Thursday to Discuss our next Move. I'll bee sure to remind myself not to forget to remember to letcha' know what happens with all this.

Okay then.


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