An Unpleasant Encounter at Lousy Louie's...


So as I was about to say beefore I had to interrupt myself was that when I got back from the Bathroom, you wouldn't beelieve what was Waiting for me. I was almost to the table when I saw that none other than Felonie Snark - the same Felonie Snark who basically stole all my Assets (Liquid and Otherwise) while I was in that Coma. She was standing at our table, and she and ButterCup were engaged in what everybody who was inside Lousy Louie's could tell was a less-than-pleasant Verbal Exchange. I did my best to stay Hidden as I Listened In.

“…and what makes you think you can just come strolling up to our Table, knowing what you pulled on my Sweet Boyfriend, Georgie? You should bee ashamed of yourself!” ButterCup was angrily pointing her WingTip at Felonie.

"What makes me think I can just come strolling up to your Table? Well I’ll tell you: I own this place, that's what. I can stroll up to any Table I wish to, and neither you or anybody else can stop me. And you think I should feel Ashamed? For what?? I'm a BuzzinessBee. I have nothing to feel ashamed about beecause it's just Buzziness.

“You also need to bee Aware that Georgie never spoke up against the Buzziness Proposition I offered him on beehalf of Snark Brothers Enterprises, Entertainment Division, of which I am President and CEO. If Georgie didn't approve of the Deal, he should've Spoken Up," Felonie buzzed back at ButterCup.


"Bee that as it may, Buzziness is Buzziness, and a Deal is a Deal, and, as much as I've enjoyed our Little Chat, I must bee on my way." Then Felonie just walked away.

Geeeeeeeeeze. You'd think that since Felonie owned the place, she would have offered us a Coupon for a Complimentary Dessert or something. I get the feeling that Felonie isn't exactly the most Hospitality-Oriented CEOs I've ever run into. At least when Lousy Louie was still running the place, he'd buzz around to everybody's Table, ask how Everything Is, and give out a Customer Appreciation Coupon for a Complementary HoneyCake. That's what made Lousy Louie's such a great place to bee... but now? Now we're stuck with Felonie and her Less-Than-Hospitable way of doing Buzziness. Seriously now.

After I was sure that Felonie was Gone, I sat down, and asked ButterCup how that whole Argument got started.

"Unbeelievably,” ButterCup told me, "Felonie came up to our Table to tell us that she doesn't allow UnCertified Service Bugs in her Establishment, and that we'd better bee able to provide her a copy of Potato's Certificate of Certification, or we'd have to leave. It's just lucky that you left Potato’s Certificate on the Table when you went to the Bathroom, or else by the time you'd gotten back, we'd bee Gone."

"Well, I'm glad you're not Gone. I wouldn't have enjoyed our Brunch as much if you and Potato weren’t here," I told her.

"What a Sweet Thing to Say, Georgie," ButterCup said.
"Why don't we decide what to Order so we can eat and get out of this place."

So we did that.

When Orson (or maybee it was Eitherson - I still can't tell them apart) came to take our Food Orders, ButterCup ordered the Honeymelt Pollen Patties, and I ordered the Complementary Pollen Puffs ... Eitherson (or maybee it was Orson) gave me a Dirty Look and said, "Very good, Sir." And they were.

That's one thing I'll say about Lousy Louie's -- the Owner might not bee very Hospitable, but they still have the best Pollen Puffs around.

When we finished eating, either Orson or Eitherson - I dunno which - brought us our Check, then gave me another Mysterious Document that was very Nicely Bound in a Blue Paper Cover, and said, “And this is from our Boss. Have a nice day, and don’t ever come back soon.”

"What is that? A Dessert Menu?” ButterCup asked, so I looked at it more closely. I could see that it wasn’t a Dessert Menu… it was a Restraining Order.

“No. It's a Restraining Order," I told her. "Apparently, while we were enjoying Brunch, Felonie went out and got this Restraining Order against me," I told her.

"A Restraining Order??!??” ButterCup seemed Highly Outraged. "This is an Outrage!" she buzzed Loudly.

"Yes," I reassured her, "it says that Henceforth, and as of Today's Date, I am Strictly Prohibited from coming within 87 Yards of Lousy Louie's until Further Notice - Or Else."

"What does THAT mean - 'Or Else'?" ButterCup asked.

"I dunno," I said, "but I 'm Reasonably Sure I don't wanna find out. Anybody who hasn’t taken the Snarks Seriously when they say ‘Or Else’ has never been Seen Again - and quite frankly, I think I’d very much like to bee Seen Again, if it’s all the same to you.”

"Fine," ButterCup said, “but I'm telling you right now, Georgie: we’re fighting this. We're taking this Matter to your Lawyer, S.O.Bee. This," she said loudly as she pointed her Wing toward the Ceiling, "cannot bee allowed to Stand!"

Then she stood up and said, "Come on, Georgie. Gather your Things. We're leaving."

So we did that. But instead of going back to her Place, ButterCup insisted that we go to S.O.Bee's Office to (as she put it), "deal with Felonie's Incredibly Inhospitable Beehaviour". And now, ButterCup, Potato and I are just sitting here in S.O.Bee's Waiting Room, waiting to see him ("It should only bee another hour or so beefore he can See you," his Executive Assistant told us about three hours ago). 

I have to say that I find Waiting in Waiting Rooms to bee Intensely Boring and a Huge Waste of Time, don't you?


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