“So I was just lying here the other, minding my own Buzziness (as those of us who are in Comas do, usually), when I just happened to overhear what I’d have to call an Unpleasantly Heated Conversation beetween ButterCup and Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew). Apparently, they were having a Huge Argument over how I ended up in a Coma like I am.

My Memory of the Events that led up to me ending up in the Coma is Clearly Fuzzy, so I was doing my best to Remember what the *CENSORED* happened, but I do Remember enough to know that somebody has been Lying about this whole thing.

The last thing I Remember was beeing at one of ButterCup’s Sunday Suppers. As I Recall, the Guests were Kevin, ButterCup (of course), me, and two bees from Costa Rica who were somebody’s Alleged Cousins, and who none of us had ever met beefore.

Anyway, I was lying here listening to them Arguing when I heard Kevin say, ‘No, ButterCup, I am completely Confident that you are Utterly Mistaken. It was AFTER your Alleged Cousins from Costa Rica had told you they hated your Pollen Casserole that the Fight Broke out.’

‘Wrong,’ I heard ButterCup say. ‘They weren’t MY Alleged Cousins, Kevin, they were YOURS, and the whole thing started when they mentioned that they were Carnivores. That’s when you got into an Altercation with one of those guys after you called him a ‘Cannibal’,’ she said.

‘I did NOT call them Cannibals, even though - if you ask me - that’s what they were,’ Kevin told her. ‘If they eat Meat, like your Alleged Cousins did…’

‘YOUR Alleged Cousins,’ ButterCup interrupted him.

‘Bee that as it may,’ Kevin continued, ‘the Issue was that after they told you that your Casserole was Totally Lacking in Essential Nutrients, Proteins, and Flavour, I was in the Process of Informing them that they were beeing Highly Rude and Inappropriate, and as I was Politely Advising them that they should gather their Beelongings and leave, you got all Huffy and Flew off the Handle. That’s when you threw the Casserole Dish at them which hit Georgie in the head and put him into this Coma.’

I couldn’t see the Expression on ButterCup’s Face, but I can Imagine that it wasn’t her usual, ‘You Seem To Bee Mostly Pleasant and I Might Like You Beecause We’re Getting Along So Well’ Face. No, she sounded more like she had her ‘Just What the *CENSORED* Are You Trying to Pull Here, Buster’ Face.

‘I did NOT ‘Fly Off the Handle’, as you put it. And I did NOT throw the *CENSORED* Casserole Dish at them. I was, in fact, Passing it to you Very Rapidly and you simply failed to Catch it. It bounced off the Table in front of you and hit poor Georgie in the head.’

‘No,’ I heard Kevin say. ‘Just beefore I was ready to catch the *CENSORED* Casserole Dish, Georgie leaned into its Path and ended up suffering the Critical Head Injury that put him into this Persistent Vegetative State.’

‘So now you’re saying this is all Georgie’s fault?’

ButterCup didn’t sound all that Pleased about what Kevin was trying to tell her, and for the next, several minutes, she and Kevin just kept Loudly Buzzing at each other. If you ask me, they were both getting Overly Loud about the whole thing, and nobody was listening to what anybody had to say about anything. That’s when I heard that *CENSORED*, Nurse Beeatrice, come into the Room. She told them they were beeing too Noisy and that they had to leave.

‘You’re disturbing the Patient,’ I heard Nurse Beeatrice buzz at them. ‘The last thing I want to have to Deal With is to have this bee Wake Up and start asking me for a Bunch of Stuff. I just don’t need that in my Life today. You have to leave. Now,’ she said, and I’ll bet she was pointing her Wing at the Exit.

‘Fine,’ they both said, then I heard them leave.

If my Memory Serves (which it usually sometimes always quite often does), something did (obviously) happened during that Supper which led to a Massive Dispute and to my beeing in this now-Persistent Coma, but I don’t Remember anybody throwing anything at anybody. What I DO remember, though is that when… “

— LOST CONNECTION —