You’re probably Wondering where I’ve been and what I’ve been Up To for the past, few weeks, aren’t you? Raise your Wing if you’ve been Curious. That looks like most of you. (You can put your Wing down now.)

So I think we all know that we had to get through a pretty nasty Cold Snap. I had every Intention of just staying Inside my Shoe Box with Potato (my Sensory-Impaired Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug) and watching my Stories on TV. But did that happen? No, it did not. Instead of staying Inside and Warm, I had to go out and do my best to sell the Snark’s new Line of Rubber Dinnerware & Cookware (“If it doesn’t Bounce, it’s not SnarkWare” is their new Marketing Slogan) as a Door-to-Door Salesbee. As much as I tried to bee Conscientious and Bundle Up to stay Warm, I neglected to make sure both of my Antennae were Properly Protected. As a Result, one of them - my Right Antenna, to bee Specific - suffered a Mildly Severe Case of FrostBite. (Have you ever had FrostBite on your Antenna? If so, you know it Hurts. A lot.) I was Highly Worried that it might have gotten so Frozen that it would actually Snap Off, so after my last Sales Call, I went to the Hive Clinic to Deal with that.

Of course, Ph.Bee, the Hive Doctor, wasn’t in (he rarely is), so I had to deal with Nurse Beeatrice.

“You again? What is it this time?” she asked me when I walked into the Clinic’s Exam Room.

“It’s my Antenna. I beelieve I may bee suffering from a Bad Case of FrostBite,” I told her. “Do you think you can help me out with it?”

Nurse Beeatrice walked up to me, grabbed my Antenna with her Wing and started Yanking on it.

“Your Antenna seems perfectly fine to me,” she told me.

“No,” I told her, “it’s the other Antenna, the Right one.”

“My right or yours?” she asked.

“My right,” I told her.

“You should have said so in the first place,” she said. “I don’t appreciate Wasting my Time Examining something that doesn’t need to be Examined.”

Nurse Beeatrice continued to Lecture me about not Wasting her Time for the next 32 Minutes which turned out to bee a Good Thing beecause it gave my Right Antenna a chance to Thaw Out beefore she started Yanking on it.

“I do see that you’ve suffered some Minor Damage to your Antenna,” Beeatrice said, “but I beelieve it can bee Saved, probably.” Then she gave me a Packet that contained Patient Post-Examination Care Instructions. “If you want to save your Antenna, then for the next, Three Weeks, you must follow the Step-by-Step Instructions which, along with your Billing Invoice which must bee paid in full prior to your leaving the Clinic, is included in this Post-Examination Patient Care Packet. Failure to follow these Instructions could result in Loss of your Antenna.” Then she gave me a Post-Examination Patient Care Release Form and said, “Beefore you leave, you must sign this Post-Examination Patient Care Release Form which Indemnifies the Hive Clinic and the Clinic Staff - which includes me - from any and all Liability which may or may not Arise from your Failure to follow the Easy-to-Follow Instructional Sheet contained in the Post-Examination Patient Care Packet.”

So I did that. Then Nurse Beeatrice told me to get the hell out of her Exam Room, so I did that also, as well.

When I got back home to my ShoeBox, I read the Instruction Sheet she gave me, which were simple enough.
It said:

“Treatment of Possible Antenna(e) FrostBite

1) For the next, Three Weeks, the Patient must wrap his, her, or their Antenna(e) with Semi-Sterile, Pre-Warmed Cotton Balls. The Cotton Balls must bee Changed every Four Hours - Or Else.

2) The Patient is Advised to Refrain from any unnecessary Lifting, Flying, Buzzing, or Door-to-Door Sales during Treatment, and until the Antenna(e) is (are) Fully Healed.”

Of course, that meant that for the past Three Weeks, I’ve had to do Nothing but just sit here, bee Quiet and keep Changing my Pre-Heated Cotton Balls. (I hafta’ say that I really Appreciated the fact that Potato was kind enough to Pre-Heat the Cotton Balls and help wrap my Antenna - that was not only Exceedingly Soothing, but it really took a Load Off. I’m also Glad that she didn’t Laugh at me while I was Undergoing the Treatments. I looked Ridiculous).

Anyway, I’m just now finishing up my last Treatment and I’m mostly Happy to Report that my Right Antenna has partially completely Healed, mostly, and I can finally get back to doing whatever it is that I do best, which (if I Remember Correctly) is NOT going back Outside into the Cold to do Door-to-Door Sales of that Rubber Snarkware.

Seriously now. I’m done with that, and just as soon as it Warms Up, I’m gonna take that Sample Case (that includes a 3mm Semi-Stick Bounceable Frying Pan), give it right back to the Snarks and Inform them that they will have to find another Bee to sell their Snarkware. And good luck with that - I made over 87 Sales Calls and never managed to sell a dam thing. I’m sure they’ll understand that I Tried my Best, and will Graciously accept my Resignation.

I think it’s supposed to bee Warmer this Weekend, so I’ll do that then. In the meantime, I’m just gonna stay Inside and watch my Stories. There are more Re-Runs of Vintage Episodes of “Law and Disorder: SUV” on the BeeBeeSee in just a few minutes, so I’m gonna go watch that.