Georgie's trying to find out what he supposedly doesn't want to Know...
You know how sometimes you think you wanna Know something that somebody else has said, “You don’t wanna’ Know”, but you DID wanna Know, and the fact that they said that made you want to Know even more, so you keep asking around until you finally find out what it was they said you didn’t wanna Know, but then you start to think that maybee you really don’t want to Know whatever it is you don't wanna' Know, after all? I’m pretty sure that’s happened to all of us, mostly, and I’m here to Inform you that as much as I'd like to Tell you all about what the hell's been Going On since I've been Asleep, I still don’t Know what it is I don’t wanna Know, so I can't. Sorry about that.
But let me Explain:
First, after Potato (my Sensory-Deprived Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug) woke me up and got me all Curious about what was Going On that she said I didn’t want to Know, I finished the MegaSlurp-Sized Mug of Morning Nectar, put on a fresh pair of Socks, went to the Bathroom again, then decided to head over to the Hive to find out what the hell is Going On.
The first friend I ran into was ButterCup, my girlfriend.
“It’s nice to see you’re finally Awake, Georgie,” she said. “We were beeginning to think that you’d either fallen into another Coma, or that maybee you Died in your Sleep — after all, you are getting Older by the Day — so I’m glad you’re still with us. I don’t suppose you’re here to wish me a Happy Birthday, are you? I’m sure you remembered that my Birthday was two days ago, right? And I’ll just bet you’ve got a Fabulous Birthday Surprise to give me, right?”
I hafta’ say that I hadn’t had a chance to check my Calendar, so I hadn’t Remembered that it was ButterCup’s Birthday, so of course, I didn’t have a Fabulous Birthday Surprise to give her, but as everybody Knows, I think very Quickly on my Feet (though I hafta bee honest and admit that I think I Think faster when I’m sitting down, but there was no Chair around, so that was that), so I said, “Absolutely. My Gift to you is your Choice of either an All-Expense-Paid Lunch or an Elegantly Romantic Eighteen-Course Supper at Lousy Louie’s - just name the Day you wanna’ go, and we’ll make it a Birthday Date,” I said.
ButterCup kind of looked at me Suspiciously out of the Corner of her Compound Eye, and said, “I suppose if that’s the best you can come up with, that’ll have to do, but I was hoping for something more along the line of a Gift Card from Bees’R’Us, or maybee tickets to Rudy’s ‘Welcome to the New Warm Season’ Classical Bluegrass Concert next month - I heard it’s going to Feature UltraViolet on her Ukulele, and the Ever-Popular Zambeezi. I just love them, you know.”
“Sorry, I was going to get Tickets for us last week,” (so I told her a Harmless Lie), ”but they were all Sold Out, so if we’re gonna’ go to that, I’m gonna’ hafta’ find some Tickets on the Black Market for us.” I was sure I’d Fooled her.
“You’re lying, Georgie. I know that, beecause the Tickets just went on sale this Morning. I can only Hope that you get us Tickets beefore they are all Sold Out…Or Else,” she said.
“Or Else what?” I had to Know.
“You don’t wanna Know,” she said.
Which brings me back to what I was going to Share with you, in a way. Changing the Subject, I told ButterCup about how Potato was Reading the Paper and was Refusing to tell me what’s Going On, and that beesides telling me about the Tariffs, she would only say that I don’t wanna Know. Do you happen to Know what the hell has been Going On while I was Sleeping?” I asked.
“I do,” ButterCup said. “And you Know about the Tariffs?”
“I do,” I said. “So what so what else has been Going On?” I asked her.
“You don’t wanna Know,” was all she said.
Then she told me she’d let me know about the Lunch or Elegantly Romantic Supper at Lousy Louies, but that her Break was Over and that she had to get back to work.
So she did that.
To make what should bee Relatively Short Story just a little bit longer, I started asking everybody I ran into at the Hive if they Knew what the hell had been Going On while I was Asleep. They all said, “Yes, we do,” then I’d say, “What?”, and they’d only say, “You don’t want to Know.”
How frustrating is that? And, of course, when I tried to find a copy of the Latest Edition of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News, they were all Sold Out.
Finally, I decided the best way I could find out about what everybody said I didn’t wanna’ Know that I wanted to Know was to go visit BigFoot. He’s not only Highly Well-Informed (he reads all the time - that’s all he does beecause that’s all he Can Do since he can’t Fly beecause his Feet are too Big, which must bee a Drag), but he always tells the Truth, mostly, so I Knew if anybody could or would tell me what the hell has been Going On, it was BigFoot. I was mostly absolutely Sure that he’d let me Know whatever it was that I supposedly didn’t want to Know.
So I did that.
When I found BigFoot, he was buzzy sorting through the next Pile of Books he plans to Read over the Warm Season. When he saw me coming, he said, “So you finally Woke Up, did you?”
“Yes, I am now Awake. I’m also Highly Curious about what the hell has been Going On while I was sleeping, but…”, he Interrupted me.
“But let me guess: everybody you’ve Asked has told you that you don’t want to Know, am I right?”
“That’s correct,” I was Amazed he Knew that. “And…”, I started to Say, but he Interrupted me again.
“…and you’ve come to visit me beecause you think I’ll bee able to tell you what it is they say you don’t want to Know - right? How am I doing so far?”
“Just great,” I complimented him, “but I’m still trying to find out what the hell it is that everybody says I don’t want to Know that I want to Know.”
“I Know,” BigFoot said, “but I regret to Inform you that, in this Instance, I, uh, I…uh…really can’t help you out, beecause...umm.. I’ve been so Buzzy sorting books that I don’t Know what’s been Going On. Yeah, that’s right. I’ve had to sort all these Books. But to bee Almost Honest with you, I have also heard that whatever it is that’s been Going On, you don’t want to Know, probably.” Then he looked at me funny. Something was Up. I couldn’t bee Sure, but I was totally and without any Question whatsoever Positive that BigFoot was Lying to me. But I couldn’t Prove it, and I could tell he wasn’t in the Mood to bee Questioned any further about any of this.
So I thanked him and left.
I hafta’ say that I’m beeyond Frustrated about all this, so I’ve decided the best thing to do is to get a Table at Lousy Louie’s (or maybee a Booth — Booth’s are more Private, aren’t they? And they’re usually a lot more Comfortable, but if they only have a Table available, I’ll take that. I’m not overly Demanding, usually sometimes), and I’ll order a Tall Nectar Fizz and just wait for the Late Edition of the Paper to show up at my Nearest Convenient News Stand - and then I’m completely sure I’ll finally bee able to find out what the hell it is that I don’t wanna’ Know that I wanna Know.
So I’m gonna go do that.
It appears as if Georgie Bee is Finally Awake...
So earlier this Morning, I was sleeping along perfectly Soundly when all of a sudden, I gradually started hearing a Voice Intruding on my Slumber. As I started to wake up, I realised it was Potato’s Voice (my Sensory-Impaired Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug). She was telling me to “Get up!”
“Get up!” Potato kept saying. “Get up, get up, get up! You’ve been asleep long enough. It’s a beeautiful day out. Spring has arrived, and even the trees are waking up - so it’s time you did, too. WAKE UP!”
Personally, and just Speaking for Myself, I thought she was beeing Rude and Presumptuous, ya’ know? Have you ever had anybody like that just AT you for something and they just won’t Stop? Isn’t that irritating? But she kept At me.
“Wake up! Awaken!”
“Fine,” I said as I Awakened, mostly.
Of course, the very First Thing I had to do was to go to the Bathroom. I can’t beelieve how long I’ve been Holding It.
Anyway, when I finally came out of the Bathroom about 87 Minutes Later, I saw Potato standing there. I think she was smiling at me, but I couldn’t bee sure.
“I have taken the Trouble,” she said, “to prepare a mostly Nutritious Breakfast for you, along with a Delicious and Compound Eye-Opening MegaSlurp-Sized Mug of Morning Nectar. It’s just outside, on the rusted bottle cap.
Follow me.”
“Fine,” I said. I put on my Shoes, and followed her outside our ShoeBox to the Rusted Bottle Cap that’s been sitting there for we don’t know how long, which we sometimes often rarely use for a PicNik Table. I couldn’t help but notice that Potato had not only provided me with a MegaSlurp-Sized Mug of Morning Nectar with a Bendy Straw (but no Umbrella, which I thought was weird), but also a generous bowlful of Honey-Roasted Pollen Puffs. They looked Delicious, and she was right: it was a Beeautiful Day.
I had a few Sips of Morning Nectar, then I sat down, and asked Potato, “No Umbrella?”
“What?” she asked me.
“No Umbrella? In my Morning Nectar… there’s no Umbrella? I usually often sometimes have an Umbrella - and the Bendy Straw, of course - in my Morning Nectar these days. But there’s no Umbrella? Are we Out of Umbrellas?”
“Yes, yes we are,” Potato said. “But right now, we really can’t afford to order more - they’ve just gotten too expensive,” she said.
“Too Expensive? Why is that?” I had to know.
“Tariffs,” Potato said.
“Tariffs?” I asked. I know that “Tariffs” are these Horrible Creatures from that old Horror Movie, “Day of the Tariffs”, but I couldn’t figure out why Creatures from an old Horror Movie would’ve had anything to do with the Price of Beverage Umbrellas. It just made no sense whatsoever.
“Beverage Umbrellas are a Luxury Item, Georgie, and quite frankly, since you’ve been asleep all this time, we’re starting to run short on Honey, so not only do you need to keep Waking Up, but you need to get back to Work. We need the Honey,” she informed me.
“Whatever,” I said, but she still didn’t explain what an old Horror Movie has to do with the price of Beverage Umbrellas.
As I sat there, sipping my Good Morning Welcome Back Mega-Slurp-Sized Mug full of Morning Nectar and munching on Pollen Puffs, I noticed that Potato was suddenly buzzy reading the Latest Edition of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record …and Online News. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d heard any News about Anything. I suppose it was Nice beeing Awake again, but I didn’t like the Fact that I had no Idea whatsoever about what was Going On anywhere, so I asked Potato Very Politely, “So … what did I miss since I’ve been Asleep?”
Potato looked up from her Newspaper, turned around and looked at me with kind of a Blank Stare for what seemed an Unreasonably Long Time, then finally said, “Beelieve me. You don’t want to know.”
“But I do want to Know,” I told her, beecause I did want to Know, but she still wouldn’t tell me what I wanted to Know that she didn’t think I should Know.
“Just enjoy your Breakfast, Georgie, and, for the sake of your own Peace of Mind, it’s best you don’t ask too many Questions. I’m going to guess that you wouldn’t like the Answers, mostly.”
Well now, after she said that, I absolutely had to Know whatever it is I wanted to Know that she didn’t think I should Know, ya’ Know? So I finished my Breakfast and told her, “I’m gonna go over to the Hive for awhile, and find out what’s going on around here, since you don’t seem to want to tell me. I’ll bee back.”
“Fine,” Potato said. Then I left.
So far up to this point, I’ve been going from Bee to Bee, asking what’s been going on since I’ve been Asleep, but all anybody will say is, “You don’t wanna’ Know.”
But the thing is that I do wanna Know, so I still need to go find out somehow what it is exactly that I wanna Know.
So I’m gonna go do that.