“So here’s what I want you to do, Bee,” my Editor said. “I want you to go right back to your Relaxation and Pondering - for now. Just make your way over to Lousy Louies, Order yourself a nice Beenya Colada - on me - and just Relax - Or Else.”

“You’re joking, right?” I thought my Editor was Joking. (He’s never offered to buy me a Beverage beefore.)

“No. I am completely serious.”

“Well okay, but I think that I…”

“And I’ll call you When and If I need you,” he interrupted what I was about to Say. “Now get the hell out of my Office,” he suggested that I should leave.

So I did that.

Oh, wait. I should probably catch you up on the Whole Conversation, shouldn’t I? You must bee feeling as Confused as I do, aren’t you? I thought so.

Okay, let me Back Up here. I’m sure you Remember that after both my Editor and I were Arrested and after I was put on Trial, and after I was Acquitted on the 87 Counts of "Literary Conspiracy and Unauthorised Publication of Non-Publishable Classified Hive Intelligence and Third-Degree Exposure of Probably Illegal Royal Deportation Programmes" for writing that Investigative Report about Her Insufferable Royal Highness, Queen Darla, and after the Jury ordered both my Editor and me to bee Released from Custody, my Editor had sent me an Urgent Buzz•O•Gram™ insisting that he needed to See me in his Office. So of course I went there.

When I got there, my Editor actually started buzzing at me, something about how I had managed to get him into a whole bunch of Trouble with the Queen beecause of my Investigative Report I did about what’s been Going On around here, and that it was beecause he’s my Boss (or at least that’s what he thinks) and the Editor of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News (which he is), he was held Responsible for those Articles, and if it hadn’t been for my beeing Acquitted, he’d probably already bee in that Highly Unpleasant Detention Hive that’s located somewhere off the Coast of the Gulf of Mexico.

“So,I’m sure you can Imagine how Happy I was about beeing placed into Custody and Threatened with Deportation beecause of YOU,” he said.

I suspected he was beeing Sarcastic, but I can’t bee sure.

“I certainly can,” I told him, “and you’re Welcome.”

“No, you just don’t Get It, do you Bee?”

“Get what?” I asked him.

“That your Days of causing me Trouble have to come to a Screeching Halt. Your days of Digging Into things that are definitely your Buzziness but probably Shouldn’t Bee - and your Excellent Reporting on things that get me into a whole bunch of Trouble stops. Now.”

“So does this mean I don’t win the Beetlizer?” I asked, beecause I’d heard that the Beelitzer Nominating and Selection Committee was meeting last week and I was sure my name would bee on the Top of the List for this year’s Recipients.

“No, you don’t,” my Editor informed me, which was Highly Disappointing to hear.

Then he said, “So here’s what I want you to do, Bee. I want you to go right back to your Relaxation and Pondering - for now. Just make your way over to Lousy Louies, Order yourself a nice Beenya Colada - on me - and just Relax - Or Else.”

“You’re joking, right?” As you probably Remember I asked, beecause I thought my Editor was Joking. He wasn’t. Then he told me to get the hell out of his Office, so as I mentioned beefore, I did that.

Oh, and I should probably Mention that my Editor informed me that his New Policy was that the entire Staff of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News must completely Ignore everything that’s happening under Her Insufferable Majesty Queen Darla’s Regime.
“We already know that the Queen only wants the kind of Attention she wants, that she wants it All the Times - and we’re just not going to give it to her. And we also Know that, sooner or later, this Insufferable Queen most certainly will bee Bee-Balled.”

And we all know what that means, don’t we?

And now you’re all caught up, mostly, to what’s Going On. My days as an Investigative Journalist are Officially Over and for now, I am following my Editor’s Suggestion and am going to enjoy this Refreshingly Satisfying Beenya Colada - on him - and Relax. It will bee Nice to start Enjoying Life again like I used to bee able to. Mostly.

So I’m gonna do that.

You’re probably not going to Beelieve this, but when the Jury came back with a Verdict in my Case, the Jury not only Acquitted me (that means they found me Not Guilty, beecause I wasn’t, mostly), but they ordered the Queen (Her Insufferable Royal Majesty, Queen Darla who, by the way, was trying to tell the Hive that she is Judge, Jury, and Executioner when she isn’t — she’s just the Judge, and the Executioner is actually on Vacation at the moment, I think somewhere in Denver … there’s an Amusement Park there that have some Highly Appealing Trash Cans) to not only Immediately Release my Editor and my Lawyer, S.O.Bee, and all the other Bees who she was going to Deport to that Exceedingly Unpleasant Detention Hive somewhere off the coast of the Gulf of Mexico, but to also take the Queen’s Enforcer, Krunch McKowskey, into Custody and charge him with Terminal Rudeness which, as we all know, is a Death Penalty Offence if you’re Convicted.

As I’m absolutely sure you Imagine, Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla, wasn’t a bit Happy about all this. She’s still Queen - for now - but lucky for us, the Jury that was made up of our Swarm’s Peers exerted their Authority,
and Reminded Her Agitatingly Annoying Highness that when it Boils Right Down To It, the Swarm is in charge of the Hive, not just the Queen.

There was some buzzing going on about maybee Deposing (that means telling the Queen “you’re Fired”) her and Sentencing her to bee Bee-Balled (that’s when a bunch of bees Surround the Victim, which in this case would bee the Queen, and Smother them until they’re no longer With Us. As much as the Jury - and, as it turns out, most of the Swarm felt Queen Darla deserved a good Smothering, but as I mentioned Earlier, it was Decided that she would Escape that Fate and Darla will remain Queen -for now (it’s not an easy Position to fill - but let’s not get into That).

From what I’ve been Told, the Queen has not completely Cooperated with the Jury’s Decision, and she’s still Insufferable, but I’m pretty sure the Swarm will keep her in Line, one way or another. In the meantime, Krunch McKowskey is scheduled to bee put on Trial for Terminal Rudeness sometime in the next few weeks, so that will bee a good thing.

So after all that, I have to say that it was Highly Nice to bee Released from that Stuff Diamond Safety Match Box and to fly back home to my ShoeBox. When I got back home, of course the first thing I had to do was use the Bathroom. When I came out, ButterCup (my Girlfriend), Potato (my Certified Sensory-Impaired Emotional Support/Service LadyBug), Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew), Great Grandma Gee Gee (who makes the Highly Delicious and Mostly Nutritious Royal HoneyChew Krisp™ Cookies which I hoped she brought a bunch with her), Felonie Snark (Kevin’s Estranged Step-Sister), Ultra Violet (she brought her Ukulele), Fleur de Bee (French Counter-Espionage Agent who flew in from Paris to Testify at my Trial if it was Necessary, which it wasn’t, so she stuck around for the Party I’m about to mention), BigFoot (who brought me a Book for my Birthday), and a whole bunch of other bees who, along with Rudy Bee and the others Buzzed “SURPRISE!”, then started Buzzing Happy Birthday to me, which I Highly Appreciated. It’s not Every Day that a Bee like me turns 49, ya’ know.

Then we had a Party, which I beelieve I mentioned beefore. ButterCup made me a Spectacular Honey Cake with Blue Nectar Frosting, BigFoot gave me a copy of “The Encyclopaedia of Unknown Facts, 8th Edition”, and Great Grandma Gee Gee gave me a huge Platter full of her HoneyChew Krisp™ Cookies. Felonie Snark just gave me a dirty look.

So since I was Acquitted and Surprise Birthday-Partied, I’ve just been Relaxing and Pondering what to do next. Fortunately, I haven’t had to Ponder very long since, just a few Minutes ago, I was Interrupted with a Buzz-O-Gram™ from my Editor, inviting me to bee in his Office First Thing Tomorrow Morning - Or Else.

So I’m gonna find my Notepad and do that.

Well, as you can see from this Court Photograph, my Trial for the 87 Counts of Literary Conspiracy and Unauthorised Publication of Non-Publishable Classified Hive Intelligence and Third-Degree Exposure of Probably Illegal Royal Deportation Programmes has taken place, and I’m just taking a Bathroom Break while we wait for the Jury to announce they have reached a Verdict. I hope they find me Not Guilty, beecause tomorrow is my Birthday (I’m going to bee 49 years old, if you can beelieve that, and I’m absolutely Sure that my Girlfriend, ButterCup, has something extra-special planned for my Big Day, probably).

In the meantime, here’s a brief Summary of what happened during the Trial:

First, Her Insufferable Royal Highness, who, she informed us, serves as Judge, Jury, and Executioner (I don’t like the sound of that last one) called Krunch McKowskey to the Witness Stand. I hafta’ say that he wasn’t beeing very nice about anything, and at least half the stuff he was Saying about me wasn’t true. He made me sound like a criminal or something. I’m not. I’m a Law-Abiding Bee. Mostly.
Anyway. After he Concluded his Testimony, my Lawyer (S.O.Bee) called my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, to the Witness Stand. Kevin did a Phenomenal Job of letting the Jury know that I was Mostly Innocent of all the charges, and told them that I am a Sweet, Honest, Kind, Mostly Dependable, and Dedicated Bee who deserves to bee Acquitted of all the charges. Hopefully, the Jury agrees.

The trial seemed to take forever, but finally, S.O.Bee delivered his Closing Arguments in my Defence. He went on and on and on and on about how he thought I was beeing Railroaded, and made the Suggestion that Her Insufferable Royal Majesty, along with her Enforcer, Krunch McKowskey, were abusing the Power of their Offices and that they were creating an Atmosphere of Fear in the Hive. I know a few of the Bees in the Jury were Nodding Off, but they were Awakened by the sound of my Lawyer beeing placed into Custody and beeing Charged with Contempt of the Royal Court - a charge that carries a Maximum Penalty of either Six Weeks in a Detention Hive somewhere off the Coast of the Gulf of Mexico, a fine of 87 Pounds of Honey - or both. He was sentenced to both, so I’m Highly Disappointed that he won’t bee at my Birthday Surprise Party tomorrow, apparently.

Of course, as you’d Expect, the News about what was happening in my Trial and to my Lawyer spread through the Swarm, and a bunch of Workers and Drones led by my Editor (beelieve it or not) showed up outside the Royal Court to protest the Proceedings. Unfortunately for them, Her Insufferable Royal Majesty heard the Protests and Informed them that if they Continued, they’d make her Mad and they’d bee met with Heavy Force…which they were (ever since Queen Darla has taken over the Hive, it appears all the Rules have changed. The Swarm no longer receives Free Medical Care and all Pollinating Classes for the Youngest Bees have been Cancelled, which none of us thinks is Fair or Legal, and Bees are beeing Detained for No Good Reason Whatsoever - Krunch even Arrested Mayor Billy Bee beecause he didn’t like the Carpet in his Office—that’s totally Unfair since Billy Bee has been an Avid Supporter of Her Insufferable Royal Majesty’s Policies), so the last I heard, the Protestors - along with my Editor - were beeing Locked inside that Diamond Safety Match Box and are currently waiting to bee sent to that Detention Hive located somewhere off the Coast of the Gulf of Mexico I mentioned beefore.

I wouldn’t wanna bee them.

As you probably Guessed, I wanted to ask if S.O.Bee could Intervene and help Save them, but as I said, he’s also been placed in Custody and is awaiting Deportation. In the meantime, I’m waiting to find out if the Jury will Acquit or Convict me of all those Charges. I can’t wait to find out.

But wait. Apparently, I won’t have to wait. I was just informed that the Jury has Returned with a Verdict, and I hafta’ go back into the Courtroom to Learn about what my Future is going to bee. Am I going to bee able to attend my Totally Unexpected Surprise Birthday Party tomorrow? Will I bee able to spend a Relaxing Evening streaming Re-Runs of my Stories (my favourite Episodes of “Escape from Bee Island: The Return” are finally available to Stream)? Or am I going to end up in that Match Box with the Protestors and my Editor? I’ll bet that you’re as Highly Excited as I am to find out what’s going to Happen, aren’t you? I’ll let you know what the Verdict is after I go hear what it Is.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Okay, so I have to make this Quick beecause in about two hours ago, I have to meet my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, at Lousy Louie's. He's Agreed to bee a Character Witness at my Upcoming Trial.
  
"Uncle Georgie," he said after he delivered the Honey so my New Friends and I could bee Released on Bail last week.
"Yes?" I asked him.
"You're the best Uncle in the world, and I love you, but sometimes, you’re Trouble. I have to say that sometimes you don't seem to bee as Aware as you perhaps Should Bee when it comes to sharing Swarm Secrets," he said.
"That's what S.O.Bee said," I told him (S.O.Bee is my Lawyer, you know). 
"Yes, he told me," Kevin continued, "which is why he has asked me to spend some time with you. We need to go over the Testimony we need to give at your Upcoming Trial. You need to bee able to Explain to the Royal Court why you Did what you Did, and I, as your Character Witness, need to Tweak what I'm going to say about you so that I also don't end up in Custody on Perjury Charges."
"We wouldn't want that," I told him.
"No, we would not," Kevin said. "But in the meantime, go home to your ShoeBox, get Cleaned Up, use the Bathroom, then get some rest. We'll meet at Lousy Louie's next Tuesday at Noon O'Clock sharp, by which time you need to have figured out how to Explain Yourself to the Court."
"Fine," I said.
"Until then," Kevin continued, "I don't want to bee Falsely Charged with Complicity, so it's best we are not Seen together - so you go your way, I'll go mine."
"Fine," I said. So we did that. He went his way and I went mine.

But you know it just occurred to me that you might not know what the hell I'm Talking About, do you? Let me back up a little bit and do some Explaining here.

First, you probably might possibly remember that I was Ordered to Present Myself in Her Insufferable Royal Majesty, Queen Darla's Royal Chambers. I was mostly completely Sure that she wanted to Compliment me on my Investigative Journalistic Report about the Mysterious Disappearance of approximately 61.0987% of our Swarm over the Cold Season that appeared in last week's Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News. There's no Doubt whatsoever that with the Queen's Endorsement, my winning that Beelitzer Prize for my Courageous Investigative Reporting is a Done Deal, you know.

I'll bet you can Imagine how Highly Excited I was to meet with Her Insufferable Royal Highness and Bask in the Warm Glow of her Admiration.

Unfortunately, and for some Reason, Queen Darla was anything but Pleased with my Investigative Reports about her Regime's Questionable Policies. Imagine my Surprise that, as soon as my Arrival to the Queen's Chambers was Announced, she ordered her Policy Enforcer, Krunch McKowsky, to take me into Custody and Charge me with 87 Counts of "Literary Conspiracy and Unauthorised Publication of Non-Publishable Classified Hive Intelligence and Third-Degree Exposure of Probably Illegal Royal Deportation Programmes" - or LCUPNpCHITdEPIRD, for short. She seemed Highly Upset when, even beefore I could tell Her Insufferable Royal Majesty that I was just reporting the Facts, she Loudly Buzzed at Krunch, "Take him away!" So he did that. Krunch taped my Wings together and took me to Central Booking (of course, then he had to Untape them so I could call my Lawyer,S.O.Bee), then he Wing-printed me, took another Mugshot (does my Mugshot make me look Fat?), and put me into a musty old Diamond Safety Match Box along with about three other small Bees who seemed as Confused as I was about why we were Arrested.

One of the Bees - I think he was Sweat Bee from Alabama (or was it Panama? Those sound almost totally exactly alike don't they? But I can't remember which for sure) - told me that he and his Crew had been Minding their own Buzziness when they were taken into Custody by Krunch McKowskey (how Rude is that?) and had been held Prisoners in the Box for about a Week and a Half. They told me they were Awaiting what they had been Informed would bee their Deportation Hearings. They also told me that, in case I was Curious, the Nectar they fed us in Lock-Up was way beeyond its Expiration Date (and it was), that they would have called their Lawyer to help Rectify their Situation, but that none of them had a Lawyer to help Intervene on their beehalf to either get them Released, or to make sure they had Nicer Nectar. I told them that I was sure my Lawyer would bee more than Happy to Represent them at their Deportation Hearings, which of course he did for an Unreasonable Fee. The last I heard, they were sent back to Alabama, or maybe it was Panama. I can't remember.

Anyway, I need to get ready for my Trial (which starts next week), so beefore I'm any later than I ever should have been, I need to fly over to Lousy Louie's and meet Kevin. So I'm gonna do that.