It's Mission Accomplished ...

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I’m not gonna tell you what I’ve just been through, but I hafta say that, as Difficult and Exhausting as it was, I’m exceedingly happy to Report that after a great deal of Trial and Tribulation and Sneaking Around, I was able to successfully Smuggle that Murder Hornet Swatter to my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, who as we all Know has Infiltrated the Snark Brothers Enterprises. I had no Idea whatsoever what the hell it is that Kevin plans to do with the Swatter, so after I managed to Discreetly Sneak past the Guards with that thing and get it into his Wings, I asked him, “Kevin, what the hell is it that you’re planning to do with this thing?”

“Uncle Georgie, you are the best Uncle in the world and I love you, but I know you, and I am completely certain that if I told you, you would Expose my Plan, and the Element of Surprise would bee lost. I cannot have that. So I am not going to tell you,” he told me. “And I think it is best if you leave. Now. I will Contact you after I have Implemented my Brilliant Plan, but for now, you need to go Home and pretend you never saw me. ”

“Fine,” I said.

Beelieve it or not, it took four afternoons and a half- to three-quarters of this Morning for me to quietly make my way past the Snark Brothers’ State-of-the-Art Security System without beeing Recognised, Inconveniently Apprehended, Detained, and beeing asked a whole bunch of Unnecessarily Prying Questions. Fortunately, after a great deal of Effort, I finally Escaped, Undetected. Probably.

I was Highly Relieved when I made my Way back home to my ShoeBox and was finally able to go to the Bathroom (I was Holding it the whole time I was Sneaking Around the Snark Brothers’ place, so I was glad I made it Home beefore I couldn’t Hold It anymore - I know nobody wants any Accidents…I most certainly don’t). Since then, all I’ve wanted to do is to just lie here, rest, and try to stay awake long enough to watch my Stories (I think there’s a “As the Hive Turns” Marathon on the Bee Channel).

So that’s what I’m gonna do.

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Georgie gets an Urgent Message from Kevin...

7.22.2025-BuzzOGram


So, as you can Imagine, I’ve been spending a Highly Large Amount of Time doing my best to find my still-Missing Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin. Fortunately, as I was enjoying a Relaxing Lunch at Lousy Louie’s I received an Urgent™ Buzz•O•Gram™ from him (I was Highly Glad that I wasn’t in the Bathroom when the Messenger arrived with it, ya’ know?).

I have to say that the Buzz•O•Gram™ was Highly Vague and didn’t offer much Insight into where the hell Kevin is, but at least we know he’s still Alive. Of course, as soon as I finished my Lunch and ordered some Dessert (I’m on a Diet you know, so I just had the Half-Order of Honey Glazed Pollen Puffs), I knew that I should probably Inform The Resistance as soon as possible. After I decided to just go ahead and order the Other Half of the Half Order of Honey-Glazed Pollen Puffs (why waste good Pollen Puffs?), I immediately buzzed over to the Entrance of the Secret Underground Headquarters to share the Urgent Message I’d received from our Resistance Infiltrator, Kevin.

When I got there, I had another Run-In with that Argumentative Security Guard.

“You’re Irresistible,” he said to me.

“Thank you,” I said, “but I have a Highly Urgent Message to…”

“You’re Irresistible,” he interrupted me.

“Yeah, you’ve said that, but look…” I started to say, then I remembered he was asking me for the Password, but I knew that he knew that I knew the Password and that I’d already given it to him the last time I was there, so I said,. “Can’t we just Dispense with the Formalities here? I’m in an Incredible Hurry beecause I have some Very Important Information to share with The Resistance, so…”

“No,” he said. “I have no idea who you are or who you might Bee. You have to realise that Bees pretty much look alike, so it’s almost impossible to tell one Drone or Worker from another Drone or Worker, and you’re certainly not the Queen who we wouldn’t let in anyway - so NO.”

Then the Security Guard and I got into a big, long argument about the fact that I firmly Beelieve that all Bees DO NOT all look alike, but he said, “Without hats, all Bees look alike. And you’re not wearing a hat, so last chance: You’re Irresistible.”

“Fine,” I said. “That’s what she said,” I said.

“You may Enter,” the Security Guard told me.

Beefore I went in, I told him, “Hey next time, why don’t you just Remember me. I know that you know that I know the Password, so just let me in next time without asking all the unnecessary Flattery.

“That won’t bee happening,” he said, “especially if you’re not wearing a hat,” he added.

“Fine,” I said, and went ahead and Entered.

When I got inside the Underground Headquarters, I shared the Urgent Buzz•O•Gram™ with the Resistance Chair Pro-Tem (don’t tell anybody, but it’s Ultra Violet - she’s been keeping the Resistance Swarm Soothed with her beeloved Ukulele playing), and I told them that we needed to figure out how to Smuggle a Murder Hornet Swatter to Kevin who, as I told you beefore but just in case you forgot, has Infiltrated Snark Brothers Enterprises. So after some Buzzing back and forth, it was Decided that beecause I used to Sell Murder Hornet Swatters, it would bee easier for me to Smuggle one of those things in to Kevin.

“Fine,” I said.

So I hafta’ go do that.

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Where's Kevin???

Where's-Kevin


I'm mostly sorry to say that I can't Stick Around very long today. I have to make my way to the Secret Underground Headquarters (it's actually underground, which I hafta' say I don't like all that much -- it's dark and it has a chill that pretty much stays with you the whole time you're there) to join a Search Party pretty soon, so I don't have much time to visit, but I will take a Minute to Explain, briefly, what's going on. 

As you probably have almost forgotten (like I almost did), I decided to join my Now-Missing Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, for lunch. And as you also might have not remembered to recall, Kevin had kindly Volunteered to Infiltrate the Snark Brothers Enterprises in order to help The Resistance to get their Wings on a copy of the List of Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla's Accomplices. But I know that you haven't Forgotten that Kevin was planning to Accomplish this Mission by Cozying Up to his Estranged Step-Sister, Felonie Snark, who (the last any of us had heard) was in charge of Old Product ReDevelopment for her Uncles, Chaz and Narville Snark, and who (as everybody knows) has been involved in those Secret Negotiations the Snark Brothers have been Engaged In regarding a Trade Deal they're trying to make with a Colony of Murder Hornets. So when Kevin and I met at Lousy Louie's to talk about how, exactly, he was going to Accomplish his Mission, I decided to order the Honey Roasted Pollen Puffs and a Honeysuckle Nectar Fizz (hey, it's 5:00 somewhere in the world). Kevin just had the Dandelion Sandwich and water.

As we were sitting in a Booth, Kevin shared the Intricate Details of his Plan to get his Wings on the List. I hafta' say that I was glad we had a Booth - they're much more Private, so I was absolutely Positive that for the most part nothing Kevin and I were buzzing about was Overheard. Anyway, by the time we'd finished Lunch and had our Dessert (we both had the Refined Sugar Water), I was Fully Informed of Kevin's Brilliant Plan.  Little did I know that, after he got up to go to the Bathroom, that would bee the last time I or  anybody would see - or hear from -  Kevin, at least since last Tuesday, I think it was. He was Supposed to bee Checking In with The Resistance every day, but he's still Nowhere to bee Found at all. He's Mysteriously Vanished.
 
We're all very Concerned.

So to make what should bee a Highly Short Story just a little bit Longer, in less than exactly about 87 minutes from now, all of us in The Resistance will bee Meeting at Headquarters to form that Search Party I mentioned earlier (you remember that, right?), and beefore we do anything else at all, we're going to make it our Number One Priority try to find out what the hell happened to Kevin. That gives me just enough time to grab a quick Lunch.

So I'm gonna go do that.

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Don't tell anybody, but...

Georgie-at-Typewriter_7.2025


So as you’ll Recall, a bunch of us in the Hive who Object to Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla’s, Reign have Joined Together to form a Resistance Swarm. We’re calling it “The Resistance Swarm”, but I like to just call it “The Resistance”. Everybody that’s part of The Resistance has to wear a set of Fake Antennae and, beefore anybody can join a Meeting of The Resistance, they have to reply to the Secret Phrase with the Secret Password, or they’re not allowed to bee a part of The Resistance.

Of course, as you probably have already Guessed, I’ve been Sworn to Secrecy about what the Secret Phrase is, but I’m sure it won’t bee a problem if I share what it is with you (I’m guessing you also probably don’t have a set of Fake Antennae, do you? I didn’t think so.) So the Secret Phrase to Identify somebody as a Trusted Member of The Resistance is … “You’re Irresistible.” Right away, when somebody comes up to you and says, “You’re Irresistible,” you’re supposed to give the Secret Password, which is (and don’t tell anybody) - “That’s what she said.”

Unfortunately, when the first Meeting of The Resistance was secretly Announced over the Hive’s Public Address System, and when I showed up to bee a part of it, I complete forgot to remember the Password, When the Bee guarding the Entry to the Meeting said, “You’re Irresistible”, I said, “Thank you. I’ve been told that beefore, but it’s always nice to hear. I appreciate it.”

As you probably already guessed, since I failed to give the Correct Secret Password, they wouldn’t let me in, so I decided to leave and try again Later.

So while I was waiting for Later to arrive, I found myself a nice Table for One on Lousy Louie’s Patio and figured that if I just relaxed with a delicious and refreshing Nectar Fizz, I would eventually remember the Secret Password.

I sat and sipped and sipped and sat, but I just couldn’t remember the Secret Password. I would have gone back to my ShoeBox and asked Potato (my Sensory-Impaired Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug), but two days earlier, she left to visit some Family she has in Wichita, Kansas, so she wasn’t around. I also had tried to ask Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) what the Secret Password is, but he just said, “Uncle Georgie, you’re the Best Uncle in the world, and I love you, but I’m afraid I cannot share that information with you. It would no longer bee a Secret Password if I told you what it was, now would it?” so I said “Fine.” But it wasn’t fine, beecause I still couldn’t remember what the SecretPassword is.

So I just continued to sit and sip my Fizz.

I had probably been sitting and sipping on a second Nectar Fizz for about 87 minutes or so when (and don’t tell ButterCup this) a fairly Attractive Worker Bee came up to me and said, “I’ve been watching you from afar, and I have to say that I think you’re Irresistible.”

“Thank you,” I said, “I appreciate the Compliment, but I have a Girlfriend,”. “Fine,” she said, and she left. Then I finished my Fizz and left, also. I decided to go back to where the Meeting of The Resistance was still going on. I was sure that I would remember the Secret Password on my way back there.

When I got there, the Bee at the Entry said, “It’s you again? What do you want?”

“I want to join the Meeting of The Resistance,” I said.

“Fine,” he said, “but if you don’t remember the Secret Password this time, I’m afraid you will bee Denied Entry.

“Fine,” I said. Then he said, “You’re Irresistible,” then I remembered that Encounter I had with that Worker at Lousy Louie’s, and I said, “That’s what she said.”

“Welcome,” he said, “you may enter.”

So I did that.

I hafta say that there were a lot of Angry Bees at that Meeting, and I’d tell you about what was beeing Said, but I think I’d for sure bee violating the Rules of Secrecy for The Resistance by sharing that information with you, probably.
So I’ll just tell you this:

During the Meeting, a Secret Plan to Deal with Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla, was discussed. After a great deal of Buzzing back and forth, it was decided that we needed somebody to Infiltrate an Organisation that has Close Ties to the Queen - the Snark Brothers, and that we’d plant a Secret Informant into their Operations. And don’t tell anybody about this at all, but beecause he has mostly Close Ties with his Estranged Step-Sister, Felonie Snark, it was decided that Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) will bee the Secret Informant who is assigned to Infiltrate the Snark’s Organisation, and to Obtain the List of the Queen’s Accomplices (which, by the way, the Queen’s Press Secretary says “doesn’t exist”, as if). Then, The Resistance can know precisely who we’re Dealing With, mostly.

“I am proud and pleased,” Kevin said, “to serve our Noble Cause and to Contribute to the Efforts of The Resistance.”

After that, the Meeting was Adjourned. That was almost a week ago. I know that Kevin is enjoying his Lunch right about now, so I wanna find out if he’s found the List.

So I’m gonna go do that.

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Something Exciting is Brewing in the Swarm...

DW_Georgie


I hafta’ say that ever since my Editor Informed me that I can no longer provide him with my Invaluable Services as an Investigative Reporter who has a mostly somewhat Respected Reputation of exposing Corruption at the Highest Levels in the Hive (which includes Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla), I’ve been really bored.

Trust me when I say that you can only hang out at Lousy Louie’s sipping on Beenya Coladas and snacking on Honey-Roasted Pollen Puffs by yourself for so long, then you have to find something else to Occupy your Time. So, the other day, I decided to Invite some of my Friends to Join me at Lousy Louie’s to sip on Beenya Coladas and snack on Honey-Roasted Pollen Puffs.

The first to Show Up were my Girlfriend, ButterCup, and our Mutual Friend, Fleur de Bee, who was still here visiting from Paris. Of course, neither of them ordered Beenya Coladas. Fleur ordered a Fermented French Lilac Spritzer, and ButterCup just had a Capful of Water (I asked if she wanted something more than that, but she said, “No, I’m on a Diet.”) Fine.

Anyway, we were finally Joined by Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew), his Sensory-Impaired Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug, Potato, BigFoot, Rudy Bee, Sunshine, Tweak (ButterCup’s Sister), my Editor (who I asked if he was still going to pick up the Tab for all the Beverages and he said, “In your Dreams, Bee”), and (beelieve it or not), my Lawyer, S.O.Bee who had just been Released from that Highly Unpleasant Detention Hive located somewhere off the Coast of the Gulf of Mexico, show up. He was Mad as hell.

As we all Swarmed there, enjoying our Refreshing and Primarily Delicious Beverages, everybody started buzzing about the Deplorable Conditions in the Hive under the Reign of Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla.

“She not only closed the Cafeteria,” BigFoot said, “but she’s threatening to close all the Libraries. That’s just Unacceptable.” (In case you probably don’t remember, BigFoot is a Huge Fan of Books.)

“That’th right!” Rudy sounded Equally Upset. “Altho, the Queen jutht itthued a Decree that SHE will bee in charge of all futhure Thelebrationth and Fethtivitieth and has Fired all of my Creative Thtaff. I’m very Upthet about it.”

“Well I’m sorry to say that my Editor has told me that I can no longer help build Awareness of the Problems with what should have been my Beelitzer-award winning Reports.”

“Correct,” my Editor said. “You’re on a Leave of Absence.”

“But,” I continued, “beelieve me when I say that I think the Swarm still needs to bee Informed so that we can actually Do Something about all this. But I’m not entirely Sure what that might Bee, so let’s talk about something else,” I said beecause I wanted to stop Thinking about the Queen and start talking about Me instead, so I went on, “As for me and what I’ll bee doing over the Hot Season, I’m still considering my Options. Maybee I’ll start doing Movie Reviews again, just to help keep everybody’s Mind off everything.”

“No,” my Editor told me. “that won’t bee Happening. The last thing we need is to bee Sued again for Slanderous Libel beecause of one of your Insulting Movie Reviews.”

“What about my Advice…” I started to Suggest.

“…and that goes for your Advice Column, too. You won’t bee offering anybody any Advice about anything as long as I’m Editor of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News.”

“Fine,” I said, and it is Fine beecause I’m not really in the Mood to give Advice to anybody about anything right now.

Nobody said anything for awhile so I started thinking about what else I could do.

“I could consider selling those Paper Spoons again. That would keep me buzzy,” I thought out loud. (I know that those things were taken off the Market beecause they’re not only Impractical, but they’re Highly Toxic, but since Queen Darla has done away with any of those kinds of Bans on Toxic Materials, I figured the Market might open up again on those things.)

“NO!” everybody said at once, then S.O.Bee said, “Just beecause the Queen says it’s okay to use Toxic Dinnerware doesn’t mean that we have to bee Stupid enough to do it.

“OUI!” Fleur Agreed with him. “You and ze Swarm moost - how do you zay - Organize. You moost REZIZT zis Madness until zee Queen izz No More, Mon Ami.” Then she Informed us that she didn’t want to have anything more to do with any of this and that she was Leaving. She stood up, left some Honey to cover her Beverages, wished us Luck, and left. (In case you’re Curious, Fleur went back home to Paris and resumed her Normal Life in her new job as Supervisor of a Special Bomb Detection Unit working under French Counter-Espionage. “It ezz safer zan continuing to bee here,” she said.)

“That,” my Illegitimate Nephew buzzed in, “is the most Reasonable and Practical Suggestion I’ve heard all day” as he Ordered another Virgin Nectar Fizz. “Uncle Georgie,” he continued, “you’re the best Uncle in the world, and I love you, but I think you should keep a Low Profile in the Days and Weeks Ahead. That is absolutely and without any question whatsoever probably Essential if The Resistance is to Succeed, which we must.”

“I agree!” Sunshine agreed. “But we must bee able to know Who we can Trust and Who we Can’t.”

“And how do you Propose we do that?” My Editor asked. He was Skeptical, but I think we all know that he always is.

“Fake Antennae,” Tweak suggested. “Everybody that’s part of The Resistance has to wear a set of Fake Antenna. We’ll know right away if someone is With us or not.”

“That jutht might work!” Rudy exclaimed.

“And I will bee here,” Potato said, “to provide Complimentary Emotional Support Services for a small fee to anyone who beegins to feel Apprehensive about this Undertaking.” That’s really nice of her, isn’t it? I think so.

After some more discussion and several more Beverages, it was Agreed that we would form The Resistance to fight back against Her Insufferable Royal Majesty, Queen Darla.
So apparently, that’s what I’ll bee doing over the Hot Season. I’ll bee Resisting, whatever the hell that means.

After that, I went home, found my set of Fake Antennae, I made sure they still Fit (they do) and now, I am ready to start Resisting, mostly.

So I’m gonna go do that.

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