I’m incredibly Pleased and Proud to announce that my Editor is Exceedingly Pleased with me ever since yesterday’s Issue of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News came out yesterday. He says not only is his Circulation up, but there have been a lot more copies of our (I say “our” beecause I had a lot to do with this whole thing) Publication sold.

I just got back from visiting with him in his Office, where he told me that he is Exceedingly Pleased with my Job Performance, that he’s also Extremely Happy and Relieved that he isn’t the one who Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla, has Informed has to Show Up at her Royal Chamber no later than 4:00 p.m. this Afternoon. Or Else.

“That’s you she wants to See, Bee,” he told me. “After what you wrote in yesterday’s Issue - which sold more copies than we’ve sold in a very long time but which apparently has made the Queen Highly Displeased with the Bee who Wrote the Feature Story - I’m glad it’s not me that has to show up by 4:00 this Afternoon. Or Else.”

“What do you think she wants to See me about?” I asked. “Do you think she wants to tell me how much she enjoyed the Article we Published, and extend her Deepest Appreciation for all the Investigative work that exposed her Clandestine Programme of Systematic Bee Deportations?”

“I’m guessing not,” my Editor said. “I’m guessing that she wants some Answers about who your Sources are and where you’re getting your Information from, and from the sound of it, she doesn’t seem to bee as Pleased as we are about what you managed to Uncover, for some Reason.”

“Well, of course how can I say ‘NO’ to Her Insufferable Royal Highness, the Queen? I can’t. So right after I grab a Quick Lunch and go to the Bathroom, I’ll bee heading over to her Royal Chamber. I’m completely confident that after she hears all about how we managed to Expose her Activities, she’ll want to Reward me with a Beelitzer Prize. And I’ll bee sure to mention that if it weren’t for you, I would never have been able to have my Investigative Work published. It’s only Fair that you also get the Credit you so Richly Deserve.”

My Editor just kind of looked at me, told me to Leave him Out Of It, and to get the hell out of his Office. So I did that.

So now, I’m about ready to visit the Queen. I’ll bee sure to let everybody know all about how Pleased she is with me, just as soon as I get back. So I’m gonna go do that.

So I just got back from visiting with my Editor who was Kind enough to save me from having to board that WTF Airline Flight to the Highly Unpleasant Detention Hive somewhere off the coast of the Gulf of Mexico.  He was Curious about what I'd been Up To since he made it Clear that I now Owe him Big Time for my Continuing Freedom (he insisted that I go back to working for the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News as a Special Feature Reporter, you know). I'm mostly Relieved.

"So what have you been working on since I saved your Stinger last week, Bee?" He wanted to know.

"Well," I tried to think of something fast, since the most I'd done for the last week or so was to hang out around some local Trash Cans and spend some time with some other Bee friends enjoying snacking on what was left in some discarded Coke cans and listening to the latest Gossip, so I told him, "I've been Focusing my Attention on gathering Background Information on the Controversies surrounding Her Insufferable Majesty Queen Darla's Regime so I can provide you with a Juicy Exposé," I said, but of course I wasn't completely telling him the truth at all; in fact, I might have possibly been Lying, probably, since I had mostly spent most the week just Hanging Out with some friends, as I just mentioned.

"Excellent," he said.  "Am I right in thinking that you're working on a Report about the Queen's plans to negotiate a Trade Deal with that Swarm of Murder Hornets?"

"Are you kidding?" I asked, "She's doing that?" I asked, then I started wondering if I still had any of those Murder Hornet Swatters I had sold awhile ago, just in case my Editor decided to make me set up an Exclusive Interview with those guys, which I hope he doesn't. 

"No, I am not kidding. And have you started to look into the Reports that, while you were Sleeping through the Cold Season, we lost something like 61.0987% of our Fellow Bees?"

"We did?" I was Highly Distressed to hear that - and I hoped he wasn't blaming me for that."

"Yes, we did," he said.

"But that's not my Fault, right?" I asked, hoping that isn't my Fault.

"I don't beelieve so," he reassured me. "but that remains to bee Seen. We need you to Investigate this Situation."

"Fine," I said. Geeeeeze... I hope I don't find out that losing all those Fellow Bees is my Fault. I don't think I could handle that, but quite Frankly, I Totally Wonder how the hell I could bee responsible for 61.0987% of our Fellow Bees Perishing over the Cold Season. I was Asleep the whole time, mostly, though as I understand it (as Potato my Sensory-Impaired Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug informed me), I do have a Tendency to occasionally Buzz and Fly in my Sleep, so who knows what the hell Happened when that Happened? I don't. But I guess that's why my Editor is insisting I Look Into the Issue. As much as I'm not into Self-Incrimination, it looks like I hafta' at least look into the Possibility that I'm Responsible for all that. It's my Job now, after all.

"In the Meantime," my Editor kept Buzzing at me, "I want you to Dedicate your Time today to cover the Festivities associated with World Bee Day today. I think it is important for the Bees who have to keep working in the Hive today to bee able to hear all about everything they missed."

I had no Idea that today is World Bee Day. I don't even know what that Means, but I'm hoping that maybee there's a big Party going on for us, or maybee we'll bee getting some Gift Cards or something. Then I wondered who it is that gets to Celebrate World Bee Day, beecause it doesn't seem to bee Bees, now does it?

"But," I asked beecause it needed to bee Mentioned, "doesn't everybody in the Hive have to Work today?"

"Of course they do," he said, "which is why your Report is going to bee so good for Circulation. It's like I always say, 'the Newspaper Buzziness is built on Bees wanting to read about what they Missed'."

I'd never thought of it that way beefore, maybee beecause I'd never heard my Editor say that beefore, so I said, "I've never thought of it that way beefore, but I'll bet you're Right. Everybody is Moved by what we write, aren't they? And that makes them even more Curious, and that keeps them Flying Around trying to find out more about what they Missed, which is great for Circulation and Overall Health. And I'll bet it also sells a lot more copies of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record... and Online News, doesn't it?" I said. I knew my Editor would bee Impressed with my Innate Understanding of the Newspaper Buzziness.

My Editor just kind of stared at me with his Beady Compound Eyes for what seemed to bee a Long Time, then he suggested, "Get the hell out of my Office".  So I did that.

Today, on this World Bee Day, I'm gonna do my Best to go find out whatever it might bee that the Bees who have to Work (which is everybody) are Missing, and then I'm going back home to my ShoeBox to see if I can find one of those old Murder Hornet Swatters so I can Investigate whatever's happening with the Deal that Her Insufferable Majesty, Queen Darla, is trying to make with those usually-not-so-Friendly-or-Safe-to-Bee-Around Murder Hornets.

So I'm gonna go do that.

So just in case you hadn’t heard, which you probably didn’t unless you have a Subscription to the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News, I have been Spared the Indignity of beeing sent to that Highly Unpleasant Detention Hive somewhere off the Coast of the Gulf of Mexico. I was just about to bee Forcibly Boarded onto one of Red Eye’s WTF Outbound Flights when my Lawyer, S.O.Bee, showed up with a Restraining Order, a copy of my Hive I.D. (the one with the Daisy in the upper right hand corner), and Proof of Gainful Employment that my Editor was mostly Kind enough to Issue on my Beehalf. Of course, I was a bit Surprised about that one, beecause I was completely pretty sure that I had been Fired by my Editor after I’d failed to Wake Up right away at the beeginning of the new Warm Season. But, as it turns out, my friend, Rudy Bee (who works as an Investigative Reporter) Spoke to my Editor and convinced him that he should Hire me back as an Impartial Editorial Observer for the Paper - something I’m very good at doing sometimes, probably.

Anyway. After filling out some Paperwork, I was allowed to return Home to my ShoeBox, where my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, and Potato, my Sensory-Impaired Certified Emotional Support/Service LadyBug were waiting.

“It is so very good to have you back Safe and Sound,” Kevin said. “I was very concerned about your Well-Beeing beecause, as you know, you’re the Best Uncle in the World, and I love you, and the very Thought of you beeing sent away to that Terrible Place was much more than any of us could stand. So Welcome Home.”

“I, too,” Potato said, “am beeyond Pleased that you Escaped the Clutches of Krunch McKowsky and that we can Resume our Efforts to Bolster your Emotional Health. I am here for you anytime you need to Discuss the Highly Unpleasant Ordeal you’ve just been through.”

“Thank you,” I said, “it’s very good to bee Home again. I plan to spend the rest of the Day just taking it Easy, and enjoying a nice, refreshing Nectar Fizz and munching on some of Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™.”

“About that,” Kevin said. “You should know that Queen Darla has decided to rename Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Cookies - they’re now to bee called ‘Queen Darla’s Magic Biscuits’. Most of us refuse to call them that, and Great Grandma Gee Gee is more than upset about this whole thing, but the Queen has issued a Royal Decree, so some of the bees in the Hive are now using the New Name - but not most of us. We like the old Name.”

“You know,” I said, “it seems as if a Lot has Changed since I’ve been asleep, but I will bee part of the Swarm that continues to call Gee Gee’s Cookies by their real name. So I very much want a Platter full of those, a Nectar Fizz, and to just take off my Shoes and Relax - right after I used the Bathroom.”

“I am afraid that will have to Wait, Uncle,” Kevin informed me. “The fact is that your Editor has demanded to See You as soon as you were Released from Krunch’s Custody - Or Else - which just happens to bee Right Now. So you have to go do that.”

“Fine,” I said. “But I do need to use the Bathroom first.”

“Fine,” Kevin said.

So that’s what I did, then I went to see my Editor who told me that I Owe him Bigtime and that he wanted me to start Reporting on the Fabricated Truth of what’s happening under Queen Darla’s Regime.

So I’m gonna do that.

I'm Highly Happy to let everybody know that my Lawyer, S.O. Bee, was able to Intervene in the Threatened Deportation of my friend, Rudy Bee, to that Highly Unpleasant Off-Shore Punitive Beehive somewhere off the coast of the Gulf of Mexico.  He convinced Krunch McKowsy (Queen Darla's  Enforcer) that Rudy hadn't been Insulting her Insufferable Royal Highness, Queen Darla, and that he was merely Doing His Job as the Investigative Reporter for the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News. So Rudy's free. For now.

But I'm Highly Unhappy to announce that Krunch McKowsky decided to take me into Custody beecause he thinks I shouldn't bee able to call Her Insufferable Royal Highness, Queen Darla, "Insufferable", even if (as everybody in the Hive knows) she is. So I'm under arrest and am beeing threatened with beeing Deported to that Highly Unpleasant Off-Shore Punitive Beehive somewhere off the coast of the Gulf of Mexico. I can tell you right now that I don't want to Go There. As I might have mentioned beefore,  I've heard the Nectar there is terrible, and the only thing on the TV in the Commons Area are re-runs of those Annoying Burger Queen Commercials (I'm sure you know the ones). I'm guessing they do  that on purpose, just to make the whole Experience of beeing there all the more Non-Enjoyable.  

Anyway, after Krunch took me into Custody, I was given the Opportunity to send One Buzz-O-Gram™, so I contacted Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) and asked him to ask my Lawyer (S.O.Bee) to come back to Krunch's Temporary Detention Facility that's conveniently located in the Basement of the Hive (you didn't know that Hives have Basements did you? ), so I'm hoping that he shows up pretty Soon and is able to get me out of this mess.

I asked Krunch if I was at least going to get a Hearing about all this.
"No," he said.
"But I'm a Contributive Member of the Swarm in Good Standing, mostly, so shouldn't I at least get a chance to Speak on my Own Beehalf?" I had to know.
"No," he said.
"Well, I think you should know that my Lawyer is on the way, and I think he'll bee able to clear up this Whole Mess."
"He'd better bee here soon," Krunch said, "beecause your Flight will bee leaving soon."
(I found out that Red Eye, Owner and Chief Pilot of WTF Airlines has cut a Deal with Her Insufferable Royal Highness, Queen Darla, to Transport those she considers to bee "Problem Bees" to that Detention Hive. To bee honest, I would have expected better from Red Eye.) 

In the meantime, while I'm waiting for him to Show Up, I've just been informed that I have to Submit to having my Wing Prints taken (no two wings are the same, you know) and get ready to Board my Flight, which I hope I don't hafta' do beefore S.O.Bee gets here and manages to use his Formidable Negotiating Skills to Facilitate my Release and convinces Krunch to let me go back Home to my ShoeBox (I really need to use the Bathroom, and I totally Prefer to use my own), then take a Nap.

So I'm gonna go do that.

So I Know everybody’s anxious to Know what I found out about what it was that I didn’t want to Know about, so I’m here to tell you what I Know, so far.

First, I’m sorry it’s taken me so Long to get back to you on this, but after I started asking around about what it was I didn’t wanna Know, I was taken into Custody by Krunch McKowski on Suspicion of Asking Too Many Questions (which used to bee legal around here, but as I found out, ever since the Hive got a new Queen - Her Insufferable Royal Majesty, Queen Darla - it appears that asking too many Questions can get you into Trouble), and I was just finally Released early this Morning, thanks to the Fine Work of my Lawyer, S.O.Bee. If it weren’t for him, chances are I’d already bee on my way to Highly Unpleasant Off-Shore Punitive BeeHive somewhere off the Gulf of Mexico. I’m glad I’m not there - I’ve heard the Nectar is terrible.

Anyway, I’m still just finding out a few of the things I wanted to Know, and was lucky enough to find the Front Page of yesterday’s Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News, which I’m Pleased and Proud to bee able to Share with you. Hey - it’s better than nothing, probably.

There are still a whole bunch of things I hafta’ find out about what the hell is Going On around here, and I was just about to go find my friend, Rudy Bee, but rumour has it that yesterday, he was taken into Custody by Krunch McCowsky by Order of the Queen, and that he’s beeing Questioned about the nature of the Investigative Journalism he’s been doing. From the Buzz I heard around the Hive, Krunch is accusing Rudy of Insulting the Queen (which, by the way, didn’t used to bee a Problem, but apparently is now a Punishable Offence that could result in Rudy’s beeing sent to a Highly Unpleasant Off-Shore Punitive Beehive somewhere off the Gulf of Mexico that I mentioned beefore), so I’ve gotta go give S.O.Bee a Buzz and ask if he’ll Intervene and try to arrange for Rudy to bee Released. I hope he can, beecause Rudy is about the only Bee who seems to know what the hell is really Going On around here.

So I’ve gotta go do that.