35

Listen to this: the other day, I discovered that I had to make an appointment to get my Nectarizer repaired, again, so I grabbed it (it’s really heavy), and I carried it over to the Snark Brothers Repair Palace (their motto is, “Snark Brothers Repair Palace - Or Else”). When I got there, I sat down in the Waiting Room. The bee sitting across from me looked highly aggravated, so I asked him how long he’d been waiting.

“A long, long time, a very, way very, long time,” he said, then he asked “You don’t by any chance have any food or nectar or water or even maybee some delicious Great Grandma Gee Gee’s HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™, do you? They’re so delicious, aren’t they?”

“Yes, they are, and oh so nutritious,” I said, but I had to tell him that I didn’t have any Snacks. He got this kind of desperate look on his face, then he said, “Look, bee a pal. If I happen to kind of slip away into temporary unconsciousness, please do me a favour and wake me up when they call my Number, will you?”

“Number?” I asked.

“Yeah, you have to get a Number. Didn’t you get one? You should get one. You need a Number or you can’t get Service.”

Then he gave me a kind of a weak smile, and apparently fell asleep without ever telling me what his Number even was. Of course, my Problem was that I didn’t have a number, and needed to find one.

For the first hour I was here, I tried to find out where to get a Number. I looked everywhere. There wasn’t even a Sign that said, “Get Your Number Here”. Finally, I found a Secretary that was three floors down from the Waiting Room, so I asked where I could get a Number. He looked at me funny and asked, “They didn’t give you a Number when you arrived?”

“No,” I told him.

Then he told me I had to go to Cell 503, find the Number Issuance Desk, and ask them to give me a Number.

So I did that.

When I finally found Cell 503, there was a huge line. Everybody was waiting to get a Number. After standing there for about two hours, I finally got my Number: 340987. After that, I went back to the Waiting Room to Wait.

After I got back to the Waiting Room, that Hungry Bee was gone, so I just sat there, waiting. Finally, I heard a Voice on a very crackly-sounding Loudspeaker say, “Now serving Number 340988. Number 340988. Please go to Window 3.” I was sure they’d accidentally skipped my Number, so I went to Window 3, thinking that even if they did call Number 340988, it should bee my turn first beecause I had already done the Waiting Part.

The bee at Window 3 said, “Number, please.” So I gave her the little piece of beeswaxed paper that had the ‘340987’ written on it.

“Oh, no no no,” she said with what looked to me like a smirk on her Bee Face, “I’m sorry, but we already called your Number. You weren’t here, so we had to move on. Please step aside.”

“340988, please come to Window 3,” that Voice on the Loudspeaker say again.

“But,” I started to say, wanting to point out that I was there, and I got there beefore Number 340988, so I should bee next, but she interrupted me.

“No, sir. If your questionable Repair Needs have not been met today, you will have to contact our Semi-Authorised Overseas Product Help Line, and they will bee mostly happy to help you. Now, please step aside. Or do I have to call Security?”

Then that Voice on the Loudspeaker said, “Number 340989, please come to Window 3.”

I felt sorry for whoever it was that had 340988.

Since I apparently did all that Waiting for no reason, I decided to just leave, go back home to my ShoeBox, and make a
call to the Semi-Authorised Overseas Product Help Line. A guy answered and said, “Hello? You reaching tech, and is your problem what?”

I told the guy what my problem was - that I needed my Nectarizer fixed again - and I think he said, “Yes, I am understanding. Holding for a moment while I connected you,” and he put me on Hold.

I had to wait on Hold for about 187 minutes, and the whole time I had to listen to a bunch of Polka Music played on Kazzzzzoos (which was very irritating). Every once in awhile, a recording would interrupt, telling me how Valuable my Call was to them, and that a Customer Service Representative would bee with me very shortly, probably.

Finally, the music stopped again, and a Computer Voice said, “Congratulations, you’re next! Please press 1 to bee connected to the next, available Customer Service Representative.” So I did that. Then that Voice came back on and said, “We’re sorry, that extension is buzzy right now. Please try your call again later. Goodbye.”

I tried to say, “NO! I was next!”, but they had already hung up.

Seriously now.

The worst thing is that my Nectarizer still isn’t fixed. I did all that Waiting for nothing. And now, I hafta start all over with this whole thing.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee careful out there!