Observation #8: Beetrayal
8
I’m highly happy to announce that I managed to get most of my Stuff away from the Snark Brother’s Moving Company, and moved into my new Shoebox.
It’s amazingly comfortable, mostly, and I’m very pleased that I managed to get all moved in beefore all that Cold Weather happened. I do have kind of an air leak in one my Bedroom Windows (actually, it’s more of a hole than a window, but I’ve already hired somebody to help me deal with that).
But I do hafta say that I’m feeling a bit disappointed and beetrayed at the moment. Remember how I said I got MOST of my Stuff? Well, one thing I didn’t find were all those boxes I had that contained all my Sparkly Season decorations. When I went to find all those so I could start decorating for this year’s Best Sparkly Season Exterior Decorating Competition, they were all missing.
I was seriously disappointed.
When I called the Moving Company, my Case Worker told me she was sorry (even though I’m pretty sure she wasn’t), and that the Whereabouts of my Decorations could not bee firmly established. When I asked if they would compensate me for my Loss, she said, “You didn’t actually read your contract, did you?”
“Well… ,” I said.
“That’s what I thought, bee.”
Then she told me to have a Nice Day, and hung up.
Luckily, it didn’t take me long to find out where all those Decorations went. As it turns out, the Grand Prize Winners of this year’s Competition just happened to bee the Snark Brother’s Moving Company’s Headquarters Building, and they had used MY Decorations to win the Grand Prize of a Three-Day, All-Expense Paid Luxury Vacation Package to Narka, Kansas, where they are currently enjoying everything Narka has to offer, including free, daily tours of the Egg Candling Factory, located in Beeautiful Downtown Narka. I don’t mean to bee mean, but I hope it was closed when they got there. It would serve them right.
I gotta say: I really could’ve used a trip to Narka right about now, and I think I should bee the one enjoying that Highly Educational and Informative Tour. But no.
I can’t help but think that this whole thing is completely unfair and a total beetrayal of the Trust I placed in the Snark Brother’s Moving Company. If you ask me, Beetrayal is entirely rude and probably Illegal, ya’ know what I mean? (When I called my Lawyer, S.O.Bee, about filing a Beetrayal of Trust Lawsuit agains those guys, he asked me, “Did you read the contract?”
“Well…,” I said.
“That’s what I thought,” then he told me to have a nice day and hung up.
Anyway, next Sparkly Season, I’m gonna get even more, bigger, brighter, and better Decorations and teach those guys a Huge Lesson when I for sure probably win the Grand Prize - and I will bee the one enjoying a relaxing Narka Getaway.
Well, the Contractor (Harrizzzzz & Junior’s Custom Renovations) is gonna bee here pretty soon to put in that Window in my Bedroom. That’s gonna bee a huge relief. My wings almost froze off the other night, which was highly unpleasant. I woke up the next morning feeling like I had a couple of Refrigerated Ironing Boards stapled to my body. That hurt. A lot.
Okay then. Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!
Observation #7: UnReliability
7
So I finally heard from that Moving Company about my Stuff. I just happened to pop by my old Boot Box to see how my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, was doing, and to grab a bunch of Great Grandma Gee Gee’s delicious HoneyChew Krisp Cookies, when the phone rang. (I guess Kevin decided to get a telephone, even though he told me that he wasn’t all that pleased, beecause the line was usually buzzy or isn't working, so he was Highly Excited that he'd gotten a call, even if it wasn't for him.)
When the phone rang, Kevin answered, then told me it was my Moving Company and that they wanted to talk to me.
“Mr. Bee?” they said.
“Yes, I am,” I said.
“We wanted to contact you to pass along some great news that we’re sure will make you very happy” they said.
“You’re gonna finally deliver my Stuff?” I asked, hopefully.
“No,” they said, “we’re calling to inform you that we’ve changed the terms of your contract with us! In lieu of our undertaking the Extreme Inconvenience to our Staff, Wear and Tear on our Equipment, and Exceedingly Exorbitant Costs related Delivery of your Stuff, we’re instead offering you the Opportunity to simply pick your Stuff up from our Storage Facility whenever it is convenient for you, and for only a small, additional Pick Up Fee. You may come by anytime beetween the hours of 6:05 and 6:10 a.m., Mondays and Thursdays and Saturdays, to pick up your Stuff.
“Of course, anything left behind in our Storage Facility after 6:10 a.m. on Tuesday, December 12, will bee auctioned off to satisfy your Storage Bill.
“A copy of your Revised Contract Agreement with us will bee mailed to you beefore the end of the year, most likely. Thank you for relying on us for your Moving Needs. Have a nice day.” Then they hung up.
Geeeeeeeze. All this time, I’ve been Totally Relying on this bunch to safely deliver all my Stuff to my new Shoebox, and they pull this. What a Huge Mistake. They’re Totally Unreliable.
Seriously now, I’m not even sure how what they’re pulling here is even legal, but my Lawyer, S.O.Bee, told me, “It’s legal. They own the company. Whatever they say goes. I would advise that you pick up your Stuff as soon as possible. Please pay on your way out.”
So I did that, and since then, I’ve been getting up every morning Highly Early and picking up my Stuff, piece by piece, and moving it into my new Shoebox.
And that’s why you haven’t heard from me for awhile. I’ve been buzzy doing that, and spending the rest of my time trying to figure out why it’s so difficult to bee able to depend on things these days, ya’ know what I mean?
Okay then. I have to get ready to go to bed now so I can get up early tomorrow and try to get the rest of my Stuff. As soon as I’m all moved in, I’ll invite everybody over for a Shoebox Warming Party. Probably.
Until then, let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!