Observation #31: Communications Skills, or not



I’m sorry. I must’ve dozed off there for awhile. It’s been mostly not warm lately, so it’s kinda hard to stay awake, especially when my Stories on TV are all re-runs. I would absolutely still bee asleep without any doubt whatsoever, probably, if that bee, Buzzly, hadn’t banged on my ShoeBox Door and interrupted a really great dream I was having that I was visiting the King of France in Nebraska, and ran into a cloud of Pollen that was telling jokes which, for some reason, didn’t seem all that unusual at the time. Since I was so Rudely Awakened, I kinda forgot the rest of the dream, other than it had something to do with this Squadron of dancing bees and me having to stack a whole bunch of cases of Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™ (“Mmm-mmm-they’re so good”™) beefore the Rabbit had to leave, which was fairly exhausting, so I woke up feeling intensely tired and groggy. I hate that.

So Buzzly kept banging on the Door, interrupted that whole dream, and I mostly woke up. “What the hell?” I thought I heard myself think as I opened the Door and saw Buzzly standing there, all in a panic.

“Georgie,” I heard him say, “I freed your kelp. I’ve got a terrific pair in my lead swing.”
“My kelp? I don’t know what that is, but I guess it’s good that it’s free now. And a pair of what? Or do you mean the fruit? No, I don’t have any pears. They’re not in Season,” I told him.
“No,” he kept at me, “not a PEAR, a TEAR. And I need your HELP.”
“You have a tear? You have a tear in your lead swing? I didn’t know you could tear lead…and why would anybody want a swing made out of lead, for cryin’ out loud? I mean first, it would bee way too heavy, and second… .”
“NO!” he was getting louder, “I have a tear in my LEFT WING. What’s the matter with you? Have you got knots in your Banana?”
“What is it with you and the fruit today?” I asked him. “And what does any of this have to do with me, anyway? I need to get back to stacking all those… .”
“Let me just stop you right there,” he interrupted me. Buzzly seemed to bee getting highly annoyed for some reason, and started heavily shouting at me.
“GEORGIE! Listen CAREFULLY: I have a terrific TEAR in my LEFT WING, and I need your HELP! Are you still with me?”
“Of course,” I told him.
“Good. I came by to see if you’re still selling those Pre-Fabricated Semi-Toxic Replacement Wings you used to sell.”
“Oh hell no,” I told him. “Those things were a disaster. We had a lot - a LOT - of Complaints about those things, and usually a lot of Fatalities, but I had to sign a Document promising never to talk about any of that again - Or Else.”

Buzzly seemed highly disappointed, but he said “So that’s a no. Fine,” then just beefore he left, he mumbled, “If I were you, I’d get those blots out of your Bananas.”

“I don’t have any bananas,” I told him. “I don’t like them. I mean, they taste pretty much okay, but they make me constipated.”

Buzzly just kind of rolled his eyes, threw his one good wing up and stormed away. Geeeeeze. How rude is that? I guess there are some bees that just aren’t that good at Skilled Communication.

Anyway, I guess now that I’m awake (I can hardly ever get back to sleep after something like that, ya’ know what I mean?) I need to go try to get these knots out of my Antennae. They’re really uncomfortable.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

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Another meeting with Georgie's Editor...

So it’s really chilly and windy out today. I hafta say that the very last thing I wanted to hafta do this morning was to get out of bed and go out, but I had to. I had no choice, as usual. At least I managed to find my Antennae Cozies so I could make it to my Editor’s Office this morning without having my Antennae freeze and snap off. (That would hurt. A lot.) I was still trying to warm up my Wings when I walked in and noticed he was standing there beehind his Desk, glaring at me.

“This isn’t working, bee,” he said. “We’re getting complaints. Again. And that,” he said, “is unacceptable.”

“Complaints?” I had to ask. “About what?”

“About your over-use of ‘Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™’ in your Observations, that’s what.” He sounded upset.

“I don’t get it,” I told him, “you told me that every time I made an Observation, I had to mention Great Grandma Gee’s Royal Honey... ™,” except that I didn’t get to get to even saying the “Trademark” part beefore he interrupted me.

“Never mind what I said, bee,” he buzzed at me. “Our Beeloved Readers are beecoming highly annoyed.”

“Annoyed?” I asked. “But you said...”

“Are your Antenna frozen, bee? Did you not hear what I just said to you? Forget what I said, and listen to me,” he said, though at that point I was a bit confused about what I wasn’t supposed to bee listening to anymore, especially if he said it. But he kept talking anyway.

“This Office has received stacks and stacks of complaints about this matter.” Then he pointed his Wing at his Desk at what looked like a pile of MAYBEE two or three hostile-looking Buzz•O•Grams™, if that, and said, “You see these? These are Complaints from Beeloved Readers who are highly annoyed at your amazingly rude and redundant references to Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™. When our Beeloved Readers beecome annoyed, we have to Un-Annoy them. YOU have to Un-Annoy them.”

“But, you told me I had to mention Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal...”

“You’re still not hearing me, bee,” he said, sticking his pointed Wing in my face. “FIX THIS -
Now get out of my Office.” So I did that.

Oh geeeeeeze. How in the hell am I supposed to meet my Legal Obligation to mention Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™ in every one of my Observations without mentioning Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™? I wanna know. I mean, I don’t wanna annoy my Beeloved Readers, but I also don’t wanna make Great Grandma Gee Gee mad. Seriously. That would not bee a good thing.

I gotta figure out what to do about all this, but I’m absolutely, totally sure I’ll come up with something, probably. So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.

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