November 2017

Observation 6: Fake Apologies

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6


Has anyone else every noticed that sometimes, when somebody says, “I’m sorry,” it seems like maybee they don’t mean it? At all? I have.

Last Thursday, when I was waiting for my Stuff to bee delivered, I just had to sneak off for a quick second to grab a sip of Nectar (I was getting deHydrated just standing there waiting for so long). When I got back, there was a Note on my ShoeBox Door. It said:

WE WERE HERE. WHERE WERE YOU?
TO RESCHEDULE YOUR DELIVERY, PLEASE CALL 873187202956423, Extension 87, BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 8:00 A.M. and 8:02 A.M. THURSDAY or SATURDAY TO BEE PLACED ON DELIVERY RESCHEDULING WAITING LIST. PLEASE REFER TO YOUR CASE NUMBER, 003859301873922-A-112-598230-26-3 TO HELP EXPEDITE YOUR REQUEST.

PLEASE NOTE: OUR OFFICES ARE CLOSED ON SATURDAYS.

WE’RE VERY SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE THIS MAY HAVE CAUSED YOU AND LOOK FORWARD TO SERVING YOU, MOSTLY.

-
Your Case Worker
Snark Brothers Moving and Storage


So after I finished getting all mad about missing my Delivery, I called the number on the Notice and talked to my Case Worker to get on the Waiting List to Reschedule the whole thing.

“Well, Mr. Bee, it looks like we might have an opening sometime in early December, if that works for you; otherwise, I’m afraid we won’t bee able to get you on our schedule until sometime in Early 2018. I’m sorry if this is causing you any discomfort or inconvenience, probably,” she said.

I know she didn’t mean it, and wasn’t sorry at all. I’m still trying to figure out why it is anybody would say they’re sorry when they’re not. At all.

Anyway, I took the opening in Early December, which means that I’m either gonna hafta keep living in that Abandoned Barbecue Grill with that Disingenuous ButterFly, or just move back into the Boot Box with Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew), my Great Grandma Gee Gee, and Gladys HoneyWings. I just might do that. At least if they tell me “sorry”, I can totally beelieve them, usually.

Okay then.
Let’s all bee careful out there.
GeorgieBee Signature

Observation 5: Lies

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5



I just gotta say: I’m sick of beeing Lied To. If you have somebody like that in your life, I’m absolutely sure you know what I’m talking about, probably.

You already know that I’ve been waiting for all my Stuff to bee delivered to my new ShoeBox, right? And I’m sure you also remember that I’ve been sharing an old, abandoned Barbecue Grill with a ButterFly until I can get moved into my new place, right? So get this:

A couple of days ago, I had just gotten back to the Grill
when that ButterFly I’m living with fluttered over to me and said, “Hey. I have Amazingly Tremendous News for you. It’s the Best News ever, beelieve me. While you were out, somebody stopped by and asked me to tell you that your Stuff will for sure bee delivered tomorrow sometime. I thought you’d bee happy to hear that.”

“Yes, I am,” I said, beecause I was.

So the next day, I showed up at my ShoeBox way early, and waited for my Stuff to arrive. And I waited. And waited some more. I even waited until 6:18 p.m., a minute longer than I had to, beefore I finally gave up and left.

When I got back to the Barbecue Grill, I asked that ButterFly, “So, who was it that told you my Stuff was going to bee delivered today?”

“Why do you ask?” she asked.

“The Moving Company never showed up, that’s why. So I’m wondering where you got your Information.”

“You mean, about your Stuff beeing delivered?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“I never said that.”

“Yes, you did,” I said. “I know for a fact you told me that.”

“No, you’re mistaken. I would remember saying that, beecause I have a Massively Superior Memory,” she said.
“Evidently, you just want to beelieve in Fake Facts, don’t you? Sad.”

Then just beefore she fluttered off to her corner of the Barbecue Grill, she said, “Oh, by the way, I got a Collect Call from your Moving Company while you were out. They wanted to make sure you got your Delivery okay. They seemed concerned, mostly. I told them everything was fine and thanked them for following up on your Delivery.”

Geeeeeeze. I knew that was just another Lie, beecause we don’t even have a telephone.

Really, I shouldn’t try to beelieve anything she might try to tell me at this point. Butterflies are Shameless Liars, especially the Orange ones. They almost seem proud of it, ya’ know? Luckily, everybody knows about them, so they’re never put in charge of anything important.

Anyway, I’m absolutely positive all my Stuff will bee delivered by 6:17 p.m. today, unless the Moving Company Lied to me. It’s gonna bee great to finally bee back in my own, Lie-Free Shoebox.

OH! I should mention that I’m gonna send out Invitations for a Shoebox Warming Party as soon as I get moved in. You’re invited. Until then…
let’s all bee highly careful out there.
GeorgieBee Signature