January 2019

Observation #28: Informational Discrepancies

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28




I’m sure it’s just me, but I just noticed something that doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Earlier today, I was sitting in the Kitchen in my Shoe Box, enjoying a third Acorn Capful of my favourite Morning Nectar (it’s kind of a blend of Honeysuckle and more earthy Hollyhock Nectars - it’s highly delicious) when I beegan to wonder if it might bee warm enough outside to maybee go into town to see if anybody’s dropped any ice cream lately or something - you know, bee outside.

To find out for sure, I decided to check that “Weather Or Not” App on my Device for today’s Forecast. I was absolutely positive that it would bee completely and utterly accurate, mostly, and that whatever it said, I could beelieve.

Well, first, the App told me that it was raining outside and that there was no Wind. That was wrong. It’s clear and sunny, and there’s a 32 mph Wind blowing (with gusts up to 87 mph).

Then it said that we had a Humidity Reading of 38%, when I know for a fact that the Humidity is closer to beeing somewhere beetween 41.2% and 42.1% (I know, beecause I’m highly sensitive to Humidity Levels). So that was also wrong.

So I checked the Current Temperature Measurement and Hourly Beeforecast. Does the beeing who is responsible for writing this stuff even read their own material? Seriously now.

For the Up-to-the-Rounded-Up Second Weather Reading, it said it was a balmy 282.039 Kelvins (or to you, I suppose that’d bee about 48º Fair in Height, or - as a lot of European Honeybees would say - about 8.88889º ShallSeeUs). Okay fine. That’s not bad. I actually prefer it to bee OVER 283.15 Kelvins beefore I go out, but maybee, I thought, it might get that warm out today. But I needed to bee sure, so I checked the BeeforeCast Temperature. Get this: THAT said that the High Temperature for today was gonna bee 278.706 Kelvins. Already they were wrong. But at least it said it was gonna stop raining (which it wasn’t already), so that was good, probably. Still, a bee could almost freeze in those kind of temperatures. There’s no room for Guesswork with this stuff, ya’ know? It’s just too risky.

I thought about getting dressed and buzzing over to my old Boot Box to ask Bert (my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin’s, iBee Robot) what his Recorded Weather Data and Possible Predictions might bee (he’s highly accurate), but since I didn’t know what it was like out, I wasn’t about to take the chance of not dressing properly. Also, going out in this kind of Wind could bee dangerous. I just won’t take those kinds of chances. It just isn’t worth it, usually.

Anyway, by the time I finished trying to find out what it’s gonna bee like out today, weather-wise, I was so confused by all the Informational Discrepancies in Weather Reporting, that I just decided to stay inside and Binge-Watch the First Season of “Bee Box”. I’ve heard that’s really great.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.

GeorgieBee Signature

Observation #27: Rude Commercial Interruptions

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27



I hafta tell you about something I noticed the other day. Actually, it was first mentioned by my Girlfriend, ButterCup - she and I had lunch together the other day when she was on break from her job in the Hive's Redundant Typing Pool. (She hates her job.) Anyway, during lunch, she was watching something on her BeeNet-Connected Device when she suddenly slammed it down and said, “Enough!”

“What?” I asked - you know, beecause I knew ButterCup wanted me to ask.
She's like that.

“I’ve been trying to watch this Video online for about a month now, but I can’t ever see the end. There are too many Rude Commercial Interruptions. I give up. Try it for yourself, if you don’t beelieve me,” she said. Then she slipped her Device into my Wing, finished her Pollen Salad, and left.

So I decided to try to watch an Online Video to see if I had the same Problem. After scrolling around for awhile, I started watching a short Video online about Amazing Collisions beetween Worker Bees in Russia (there were some really bad ones), when all of a sudden, the video just STOPPED right at the best part, and this thing popped up saying, “Your Video will continue after this AD, probably.”

For the next 87 seconds, I had to sit there and watch some stupid AD for these highly cool, technologically advanced LED Antennae Cozies. Oh sure, they’re an amazing Innovation - who wouldn’t want Antennae Cozies that you can change colours, or make them flash when you flying around in the dark? But that’s really not the point, is it? I mean, I wanted to watch the Video. But no. First I had to watch the AD.

After the AD finally ended, I decided to read an Article that went with the Collision Video (how it was Produced, how many bees died in the making of the Video, etc.) when this big, grey box with an “X” in the corner suddenly showed up, blocking the entire Article. It said, “Are you enjoying this Article? Subscribe to our Web Site today and, for only 3 pounds of Honey a month, we’ll deliver Articles into your Inbox!” Seriously? I hadn’t even gotten through the first paragraph of that Article. How would I know if I liked it or not? I’ll tell you: I wouldn’t. And what kind of Articles? About what? I wanted to know, and they weren't tell me. Geeeeze.

Okay, so I figured if I clicked my Wing on the “X”, the box would go away. After clicking about 19 times, it did. So I went back to reading the Article.

Guess what happened after that? Beelieve it or not, I discovered there were ADS beetween every, single Sentence in the Article. Can you even beelieve that? And what was up and down both sides of the Page? More ADS.

The Observation I hafta make about all this is: Don't you think it’s about time we didn’t all hafta put up with all these Rude Commercial Interruptions? I do. It’s highly unacceptable and it really has to stop. It’s Rude.

By the way, beefore I continue, I hafta pause just for a second here (it’s a contractual thing) - and share this with everybody:

Do you wake up in the middle of the night, craving a Nibble?
There’s no better Nibble to turn to than
Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™.

Baked fresh every day using the healthiest and most delicious natural ingredients,
Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™ can’t bee beat. So buzz out right now and pick up a good supply of Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™ - and don’t bee caught Nibble-less!

This has been a Sponsored Message from Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies

So where was I? Oh yeah. I was buzzing about Bee Collision Videos.

I think I’m gonna go watch some more of those.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.

GeorgieBee Signature

excuse me . . .

Okay. Hold on everybody. I’ve been highly buzzy, but my next Observation (#27 - Rude Commercial Interruptions) is almost ready to go, mostly, so stay tuned.

In the meantime, can somebody tell me where I can find a Replacement Filter Bracket for a Drip’N’Munch Model 32-A Combination DeLuxe Pollen Roaster and Nectar Dispenser? I went to Bees R’ Us to find one, but they told me, “They still make those?” And I can’t see to find it online anywhere. Geeeeeze. Somebody told me that Felonie Snark, my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin’s, Formerly Estranged Sister, might know a bee who might know a bee who knows where to find one, but I’m not sure if I really want to go there, if ya’ know what I mean.

Still, I need really that bracket, but I just thought I’d ask you first.
Lemme know. Okay then.