September 2017

Georgie Makes an Observation...


OBSERVATIONS-graphics

So I was hanging around by this Trashcan downtown the other day (somebody had told me I’d bee able to find half of a Delicious and Refreshing Used Cherry Sno-Cone there, if I got there in time, which I didn’t). While I was buzzing around trying to find that Sno-Cone, I couldn’t help but overhear a couple of Humans standing not too far away who seemed to bee having a Nasty Disagreement. It sounded like it might bee about something Highly Important, probably, so I stopped and listened for awhile.

The First Guy (who was wearing an old, dark grey “We’ll Never Have Paris” T-Shirt) kept trying to tell some Other Guy (who seemed to suffer from a Severe Hearing Problem), that he thought the World has a Problem with Global Swarming or something like that. (I hoped they weren’t talking about me.)

“Why won’t you get this? Why won’t you understand?” the First Guy kept asking. “Every storm is worse now, and we’re having more of them, ocean levels are already rising…this last summer was the hottest on record and, and . . .”

The Other Guy just held up his hand and said, “I just see your mouth moving. You might as well save your breath since I can’t hear a single word you’re saying.”

Well then, the First Guy (in the “We’ll Never Have Paris” T-Shirt) seemed to get Highly Mad and started yelling at the Other Guy who wouldn’t even look at the First Guy anymore and just pretended to bee ignoring him.

But seriously now. Why would the First Guy start yelling? The Other Guy already told him he couldn’t hear anything, so yelling wouldn’t help him hear any better, mostly. And why would the Other Guy not even LOOK at the First Guy anymore? At least he could maybee try to read his lips or something, right?

Anyway, after Several Long Minutes, I got so fed up with all the Yelling and Not Hearing, I just had to leave.

About all I can say is that I hope the Other Guy with the Hearing Problem gets a Hearing Aid soon so that the Guy in the “We’ll Never Have Paris” T-Shirt won’t hafta keep yelling at him the next time they get together, ya’ know?

Okay then. Let’s all bee careful out there.

It's Monday!

Georgie-with-his-Editor_4


What a Miraculously Wonderful day Monday is, usually, so I gotta say I’m a bit disappointed that today isn’t starting off all that well for me.

First, ButterCup is still all mad at me beecause we ended up beeing late to the Honey Ball. (I still say that it’s not my Fault that Bert didn’t get my Note asking him to remind me when it was time to leave. That was so unlike him to forget to remember like that.) She was furious that we completely missed out on all the Pollen Puffs. Also, it turns out the Ball wasn’t Casual Attire, after all. She was highly embarrassed to bee seen with me since I wore those Lounging Togs I picked up in Nebraska, and she told me that I “clashed” with her gown. That didn’t help things. At all.

And then this morning, I was late for my first day as Sales Coordinator for the Snark Brothers Enterprises’ line of Supreme Deluxe Self-Flipping Pillows™. Felonie Snark was highly upset, but as I told her, it wasn’t my fault beecause I had to go see my Editor first - Or Else.

“Didn’t I’s also says, ‘Or Else’ as ta’ yous beein’ on time ta’ yous foist day of woik, bee?” she asked me.

“Well yeah,” I said, “but I wasn’t sure what you actually meant by ’Or Else’. I know my Editor means it when HE says ‘Or Else’, even though I’m not completely sure what ‘Or Else’ means and I’m not sure I wanna know, so I decided that I shouldn’t take any chances with his ‘Or Else’. Does your ‘Or Else’ mean the same thing as my Editor’s ‘Or Else’?” I had to know.

As it turns out, they both mean the same thing, so Felonie informed me that she’s withhold three weeks worth of Non-Pay and is insisting I work 87 minutes of Overtime every day to make up for the hour I was late. Geeeeeze. I guess from now on, I hafta prioritise my “Or Else’s”. As if things aren’t confusing enough.

And speaking of confusion, my Editor seemed confused when I asked him about that Trophy.

“What Trophy?” he asked me.

“You know…the Trophy. The one I won for my Interview Show,” I reminded him.

“There’s no Trophy, Bee, beecause you didn’t win anything. In fact, we’re still trying to settle the Defamation of Character Lawsuit that Butterfly filed against us after your Show. You’re just lucky I haven’t fired you from your job as Staff Reporter after all this.”

Geeeeeze. I didn’t even know I had a job as a Staff Reporter for the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News.

Then he started asking me a bunch of silly questions about why I hadn’t reported on the Horribly Unfortunate Mishap in the Hive over the Summer.

“What Horribly Unfortunate Mishap?” I asked.

“Apparently, as you’ve been off, pampering yourself with a Self-Indulgent Vacation, you seem to bee totally unaware that several bees were Severely Injured when one of those Air Conditioning Units the Snark Brothers installed in the Hive came loose from its Mounting Bracket and ended up crushing several victims,” he told me.

“No, I hadn’t heard about that at all,” I said. (I hadn’t.)

“That explains the Highly Insensitive Note you left to Bert, then, doesn’t it?”

“Insensitive Note?” I asked.

“Yes, the one in which you asked him to remind you when it was time to leave for the Honey Ball. The one he never saw beecause of his beeing crushed, maybee beeyond all repair, by that falling Air Conditioning Unit?”

“Oh, yeah, that Note. Bert was crushed?” I asked.

“Yes, crushed,” he said, “maybee beeyond repair. Several bees were severely injured. Lefty lost both of his Wings, so now nobody knows what to call him, and Lester Bee is facing Extensive Rehabilitation. He still hasn’t uttered a single buzz since the Mishap.”

The minute he told me about the Mishap, I finally understood why it was that Bert never reminded me about when it was time to go to the Honey Ball, and why ButterCup is so mad at me: It was all the Air Conditioning Unit’s fault!

I can’t wait to tell ButterCup.

“So what do you have to say for yourself?” My Editor asked me.

“Well, if I may, I’d like to make an Observation or two . . . “ I started to say.

“An Observation, bee? You’re making Observations now, are you? I don’t have time for your Observations today, but I’ll tell you what: you go right ahead and make your Observations, but put them in writing and have them on my desk beefore the end of the week!”

“But … “ I started to tell him I have another job now, but he didn’t seem interested.

Then he said, “Now get out of my Office!”

So I did that.

ButterCup’s gonna bee so happy to hear that she really doesn’t need to bee mad at me anymore. She can blame that Air Conditioning Unit instead of me! Isn’t that great?

Okay then, my Break’s over. Time to get back to trying to Coordinate those Pillows.

I’ll catch up with everybody the next time I get some time off. Until then, let’s all bee careful out there.

Welcome to the New Cool Season!

BeeSocFBCover_CoolSeason

SO, another Hot Season has Come and Gone, and here we are at the beeginning of a new Cool Season! Time passes highly quickly, doesn’t it? It seems like only yesterday that it was still the Hot Season.

Well, tonight’s the night. In just a few, short hours, the Annual End of the Hot Season Honey Ball will beegin.

I hafta say that I feel amazingly lucky that I managed to get Tickets to this thing. When I showed up at the Hive Ticket Office, they asked me to provide Proof of Identity and Residence (evidently, bees from other Hives have been trying to sneak in so they could monopolise all the Pollen Puffs, so Hive Security had to step in and take charge). Of course, I left all my Papers in my Boot Box. When I finally remembered where I put those and got back to the Ticket Office, there was a “NO MORE HONEY BALL TICKETS AVAILABLE” sign hanging on the door, and they were closed.

There’s no way that ButterCup would have forgiven me for messing up on the Tickets, but lucky for me, as I sat in front of the Ticket Office Door trying to figure out what do about this whole thing, Felonie Snark (my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin’s, Formerly Estranged Sister) just happened to buzz by.

“Yous looks discouraged, bee,” she said. “What’s da’ sad face all abouts?” (I couldn’t help but notice that Felonie is starting to sound more and more like her Alleged Father, Narville, and Uncle Chaz the longer she hangs out with those guys.)

To make a long story short, I explained my dilemma to her, then she said, “Then it’s lucky for yous I jus’ happened ta’ bee passing by. It jus’ so happens that I can procures two Tickets for yous - for a price, of course.”

Now, I think we all know already that Honey Ball Tickets are FREE this year, thanks to Queen Jemima’s “Hive Morale” Initiative which, among other things, provides free Event Tickets for every Event to every bee in the Hive, along with a six-week Membership to Bendy Hallowayover’s “Bee Fit” Fitness Spa and Salad Bar, and some Discount Coupons for Bees ‘R Us. So, I really didn’t understand why I should hafta pay Felonie for anything, but she told me that if I didn’t agree to her Terms, she wouldn’t give me the Tickets.

“So how much?” I asked her. “How much Honey do you want?”

“Oh, I doesn’t wants Honey, bee” she said. “What I needs, what I means ta say is, what da’ Company needs at dis particular-like juncture is …well, let’s jus’ calls it a Sales Coordinator, for lacks of a better toim. I hears yous gots some experience in dat field, so if yous wants dese Tickets, yous gotta come woiks for us. Or Else.”

How could I say no? Also, I gotta say that I felt highly flattered that Felonie was familiar with my fairly impressive background in Sales. I think it’s fair to say that I probably still hold the Sales Record for Door-to-Door Door Sales. I’m also pretty sure that Lawsuit involving those Paper Spoons has been dropped, so as far as I know, I have a clean Employment Record. Probably.

Anyway, I needed the Tickets, so I told her I’d do that.

“But can I ask what kind of Sales I’m gonna Coordinate?”
I asked.

“I supposes dat’s not a unreasonable request,” she said. “Sure. YOUS is now da Official Sales Coordinator for da’ Snark Brudders Enterprise’s newest Product, da’ latest in Sleep Comfort: da Supreme Deluxe Self-Flipping Pillow™.”

Seriously now, who doesn’t want and need a Self-Flipping Pillow™, especially a Supreme Deluxe one? I’d say just about everybody.

I start on Monday. Unfortunately though, I already know I’m gonna bee late on my First Day, beecause my Editor says he wants to see me. (Maybee that Personalised Monogrammed Trophy for my probably winning the Best Non-Broadcast Semi-Fictional Mostly Live Interview Show, Four Minutes or Less, finally arrived. I dunno why he couldn’t have just had that delivered or something, ya’ know?)

Anyway, I gotta get ready to take ButterCup to the Honey Ball. I’ll bee picking her up early for that, since she made it Very Clear that she doesn’t wanna miss out on the Pre-Reception supply of Pollen Puffs this year, so I’m gonna make sure we’ll definitely bee on time, mostly. (“How?” you ask? I’ll tell you: Just to bee on the safe side, I’m gonna leave a Note for Bert, Kevin’s Artificially-Intelligent Robot Bee, and ask him to remind me to leave on time, that’s how.)

I can always depend on Bert, even though I haven’t seen him around since I got back. He’s probably off getting a Software Update or something. I just need to make sure I remember to write him that Note.

So I’m gonna go do that right now while I’m still remembering not to forget.

I’ll catch up with ya sometime after the Honey Ball, then!
Until then, let’s all bee careful out there.

Georgie's Back from his Extended Vacation...

So where was I? Oh yeah . . . on Vacation.

GeorgieLeaning

Well, I’m back.

I dunno if anybody else realises this, but not only is it Monday (the most Highly Spectacular Day of the Week), but there are only about four days left in the Hot Season. And I’m pretty sure we all know what that means, don’t we? That means that, this Friday, it will bee time for the Annual End of the Hot Season Honey Ball once again!

That’s always a Festive Event, usually, so I’m glad I got back from my Extended Vacation in time for that. The fact is, I hadn’t planned to return until Saturday, or maybee Sunday, so it’s lucky I started flying back early.

I’ve already asked ButterCup if she’ll bee my Special Date for the Ball. She said, “Fine,” so I can tell she’s mostly excited about the whole thing, probably.

“And remember, bee,” she reminded me, “don’t forget to pick me up early so we can get there in time for the Mandatory Royal Reception and the Queen’s Speech. We missed out on the Pollen Puffs last year and, quite frankly, I just won’t live with that kind of disappointment again. And while you’re at it, try to exert yourself and wear something appropriate this year. That Puce Tuxedo you showed up that time just won’t cut it.”

I told her she didn’t have to worry since, the fact is, the last time I had it Dry Cleaned, it shrunk a whole bunch
so it doesn’t even fit anymore.

“Good,” she said, then she left and went back to work.

Of course, this means I have less than two weeks to figure out Who I’m gonna wear. (My Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, informed me that Queen Jemima has issued the Formal Decree that this year’s Theme is “An Informal Celebration of the Common Working Bee”, so I’m guessing that means that this year’s Festivities will require Casual Attire. Maybee I’ll just wear those Beelarenta Lounging Togs I picked up in Nebraska last month.
They’re highly comfortable.) I also need to go buy the Tickets beefore they’re all sold out.

So I’m gonna go do that.

I’ll catch up with ya’ later.
Until then, let’s all bee careful out there.