January 2018

Observation 9: Coincidences

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I have to say that I just realised that there are a whole bunch of Coincidences going on today. We have Three Massively Significant Things happening on the very same day. What are the odds of that happening, ya’ think?
3081593201787-to-One, maybee?

First, and as I am sure everybody here knows, today is not only the absolutely best day of the week - Monday - but it’s also the Very First Day of a New Year. I consider it a highly good Omen that the next year starts on a Monday. I’m totally certain everybody is every bit as excited as I am about that. Probably.

But I also have to mention that if everybody takes a minute to find your 2018 Calendar, you’ll see that today is the day for the Annual Feast of Saint Gefroren Schmiernippel, celebrating the Annual Ice Harvest. As disappointing as it may bee to everybody, I have been asked by Rudy, Feast Coordinator, to announce that this year’s Celebration had to be Cancelled. The fact is, it’s simply been far too
warm so far this Cold Season for much ice to form, so we’re all hoping for much more normal weather in this Coming Year. Usually, we have a lot more ice than we’ve gotten so far this year for some reason, but whatever we had, we had to use in our Pre-New-Year’s Nectar Fizzes. (There’s nothing worse than a Warm Fizz, is there?)

Anyway, I hafta say that I’m intensely disappointed, beecause I was really looking forward to all those Pollen Puffs, the Pollen Casseroles, and all those Nectartinis we get to enjoy every year. As it is, I’m just gonna stay home tonight and make myself a sandwich and a Nectar Fizz with whatever ice I can find. I hope I have enough sand.

Beefore I go do that, I just wanna wish everybody a Highly Happy New Year! I’m absolutely confident that this is gonna bee the best year in a very, very long time. Probably.

Let’s all bee careful out there!

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