November 2018

Observation #23: Talking Too Much

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23

Have you ever run into somebody you know who just talks too much? You know, those semi-quasi-partially-casually-friendly acquaintances you kinda know who just don’t know when to stop talking? I think we all have.

Isn’t it annoying?

So that happened to me just the other day. There I was, mostly minding my own buzziness, when this little bee named Buzzly (who lives with his Step-Aunt in the Hive) came buzzing up to me and started talking to me like he hadn’t seen me since Queen Jemima’s Post-Inaugural Fizzy Nectar Reception and Mandatory New Leadership Orientation Seminar - and that was an amazingly long time ago. (I think we’ve gone through several Queens since her Reign, but right now, I can’t remember who any of them were.)

“What’s up?” I shouldn’t have asked him, as he smiled at me.

“Funny you should ask,” he said, then he proceeded to buzz on and on for something like an hour and 43 minutes about way, way too many different and Highly Personal Topics beefore he finally stopped and said, “I thought you were dead. I haven’t seen you around for such a very long time.”

How rude is that?

“No, I’m not dead,” I said. “I’ve just been doing a lot of Binge-Watching.”

Of course, that just got him started on the fact that he had also been Binge-Watching the first Season of “The Misadventures of Bimini Fatswaggle: A Tale of Woe”, and how excited he was that they have a character with the same name as his, and how wasn’t it sad that Bimini had refused to heed his, Buzzly’s, advice about not running off to War to avoid facing up to his Terrible Crime, but that if Zelda, Bimini’s Niece, managed to get the Letter to him through the Underground Resistance, maybee he’d change his mind, or not.”

“I dunno,” I said. “I haven’t seen that Episode yet, but that I was sure that the Writers have it all figured out already, probably”, then I told him that he should have a Nice Day.
(My feet were hurting from standing there like that, and I needed to move and go somewhere else but not there.)

“So you should watch that Episode,” Buzzly told me, “and then we should get together for Nectar and talk about it.”

“Well, I…it’s…but, uh, you see I think, uh…” I tried to get out of that.

“Well good. You watch that tonight, and we’ll get together tomorrow over Nectar and that’ll bee great,” he interrupted me. “Okay then.”

Then he just kind of disappeared back into the Hive.

Geeeeeeze.

Of course, I can’t make it tomorrow. First off, tonight, I hafta go to a Meeting of my Hyper-Chronic Awareness of Personal Deficiencies Support Group, which means I’m gonna bee up late, which means I won’t bee getting much sleep and that I’ll already bee tired by the time tomorrow gets here. That’s when the Snark Brothers Window Company is coming over to replace my windows, again. They said they’d bee showing up sometime beetween 6 a.m. and 5:15 p.m., and that they’d call when they’re on their way, or if they can’t make it for some reason. I’m absolutely sure they’ll bee right on time. Hopefully, I won’t fall asleep and miss them, like I did last time. I’m sure I won’t.

Anyway, I can’t leave. I have to stay at home tomorrow, awake, and that’s all there is to that.

I just hope Buzzly doesn’t try to come looking for me, or show up here at my Shoebox. I think, just in case, I need to make a “Please, unless you’re here to repair my windows, do not under any circumstances whatsoever disturb me. Thank You.”-sign.

SO I’m gonna go do that. 

Let’s all remember to bee Highly Careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature

Observation #22: Binge-Watching

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22


Where was I? Oh yeah…

I think it’s completely and 100% safe to say that absolutely everybody can agree that Binge-Watching has beecome an absolute Life Necessity, probably. Oh sure, after you’ve Binge-Watched about 262 Episodes non-stop, you mostly feel like you’ve been dipped in grease, and your Stinger is bent & sore, but it’s usually worth it.

Now, since we all agree on all this, I just hafta point out a few things that need to bee seriously addressed.

As I’m sure everybody already knows already, The Bee Network has just started offering my area Streaming Services. It’s really great, mostly. One of the truly great things about it is that I’ve been able to watch all 87 Seasons of “The Hive Has a Great Deal of Talent”. (SPOILER ALERT: in Season 83, the Ladybug from Brazil who does the Quick-Change Act won. Sadly, though, somebody in the Audience accidentally ate her while she was Backstage, so the Grand Prize went to that Cricket who can hit High A above Middle C. I figured it would bee one or the other, so I guessed right.) After I finished doing that, I started Binge-Watching a new, Limited Production and Budget Series, “The Misadventures of Bimini Fatswaggle: A Tale of Woe”. I’m on Episode 3. I guess it’s okay, but I do have a few problems here with it.

First, is it just me, are my antennae just stuffed up, or is it just really, really hard to hear some of the Dialogue sometimes? I dunno why, but too much of the time I simply can’t HEAR what the Actors are saying. At all. They might as well bee speaking Esperanto or something, and then whisper their lines and mumble so we can’t hear what they’re saying. Do they just not want us to hear what they’re saying, is that it? Are they simply forgetting their lines, so they figure if they mumble and whisper, we won’t notice or something? I want some answers.

So, of course, in order to hear what the Actors are saying, I hafta turn my sound way, way up. Just when it seems I can hear what’s being said, some Unexpected and Borderline Rude Sound Effect suddenly pops up, or the Music kicks in in a highly huge way, and the windows in my Shoebox all shatter, it’s so loud. So far, I’ve had to replace my windows 32 times, which isn’t cheap. I should write the Sponsor, Snark Bros. Windows, and complain. They should stop buying advertising for these Shows until they fix that problem, ya’ know?

And here’s another thing: Why is it that the Camera Crew shoots Night Scenes in the dark and make it impossible to see what’s actually going on? Seriously now. Couldn’t they light a candle, at least, so we don’t just sit there, looking at this black screen? What is THAT all about?

Sometimes it just feels like we’re not supposed to bee able to see or hear things on TV anymore, ya’ know what I mean? And if that’s the case, what’s the point, even?

On top of all of this, sometimes I’m sitting there, Binge-Watching, and everything just stops. Completely. It’s like an Intermission but it’s not an Intermission. And usually, that happens just about when you’re ready to find out if Bimini Fatswaggle is going to run off to the War to escape his Terrible Crime or if his Step Cousin, Buzzly, will convince him to do the right thing and not go along with the Plan to have the Underground Resistance smuggle him out of the country inside a fake piece of amber. But no, we hafta wait until that stupid little Spinny Thing goes away, and even then I end up having to go to bed not knowing what in the hell is about to happen with all this. It’s very rude. It’s like the Streaming Service also doesn’t want you to know what’s going on or what’s going to happen next, ya’ know what I mean? And do they care that you’re losing sleep over the whole mess?
No, they don’t.

The whole thing is highly aggravating, isn’t it?

Still, I suppose that Binge-Watching is better than having to shovel a bunch of snow, or hanging around outside where your wings get all cold and stiff (or maybee even freeze and break off . . . and nobody wants that).

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all remember to bee Highly Careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature

Fine.



So I heard from my Editor yesterday. He was amazingly upset for some reason, so he told me to be in his Office “whenever it pleases you, or by 7 A.M. Sharp, whichever comes first, Or Else”. So I did that.

Once again, when I walked in, he was standing there with his wings on his hips (he has hips … I don’t know any other bee that has hips, but he has them), glaring at me.

“I get oh so tired of asking this, bee,” he said, “but just where in the hell have you been? I’ve been waiting for weeks for you to get me your next Inspirational and Informative Observation, but did you fulfil your Journalistic Obligations to your Beeloved Readers or to ME?”

I was about to try to answer his question when he got in my face and said, “Don’t bother answering that question, bee. NO. No, you DID NOT. Explain yourself.”

“Well, as I was about to say,” I started to explain, “I got stuck waiting somewhere…”.

“Waiting? Waiting for WHAT?” he rudely interrupted me.

“That’s kind of a long story, but while I was waiting, I kinda lost track of time when I started Binge-Watching the first, 87 Seasons of “The Hive Has a Great Deal of Talent”…and I was about finished until you said I had to show up here today. I was just three Episodes away from the end of Season 83 when you interrupted me, so… “.

“So you’re telling me you have Utterly Failed in your Obligation beecause you’ve been buzzy watching TV? Is that what I’m hearing, bee?”

“Well, if you put it that way, I guess I…”.

“Yeah, NO,” he said, pointing his wing in my face like he likes to do. “You’ll bee turning off that TV of yours and by sometime in the middle of the next week or two, you WILL have your next Observation on my Desk - OR ELSE!”

I gotta say I think it’s very unfair of my Editor to try to tell me what to do in my Free Time. It’s also highly unfriendly of him to put me on such an Impossibly Tight Deadline. But as I’ve said beefore, the last thing I wanna bee is “Or Elsed”.

Fine. I’ll put my TV on Pause, for now, and try to come up with another Brilliant Observation to suit him, then maybee I can get back to finding out who wins the Pre-Qualifying Semi-Quarter-Finals in Season 83. (I think it’s gonna bee either the Cricket who can hit High A above Middle C, or that Ladybug who does the Quick-Change Act. Whoever it is, I’m sure the Hive will get it right. As the show likes to remind us, the Hive ALWAYS gets it right. Probably.)

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.