Observation #22: Binge-Watching

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22


Where was I? Oh yeah…

I think it’s completely and 100% safe to say that absolutely everybody can agree that Binge-Watching has beecome an absolute Life Necessity, probably. Oh sure, after you’ve Binge-Watched about 262 Episodes non-stop, you mostly feel like you’ve been dipped in grease, and your Stinger is bent & sore, but it’s usually worth it.

Now, since we all agree on all this, I just hafta point out a few things that need to bee seriously addressed.

As I’m sure everybody already knows already, The Bee Network has just started offering my area Streaming Services. It’s really great, mostly. One of the truly great things about it is that I’ve been able to watch all 87 Seasons of “The Hive Has a Great Deal of Talent”. (SPOILER ALERT: in Season 83, the Ladybug from Brazil who does the Quick-Change Act won. Sadly, though, somebody in the Audience accidentally ate her while she was Backstage, so the Grand Prize went to that Cricket who can hit High A above Middle C. I figured it would bee one or the other, so I guessed right.) After I finished doing that, I started Binge-Watching a new, Limited Production and Budget Series, “The Misadventures of Bimini Fatswaggle: A Tale of Woe”. I’m on Episode 3. I guess it’s okay, but I do have a few problems here with it.

First, is it just me, are my antennae just stuffed up, or is it just really, really hard to hear some of the Dialogue sometimes? I dunno why, but too much of the time I simply can’t HEAR what the Actors are saying. At all. They might as well bee speaking Esperanto or something, and then whisper their lines and mumble so we can’t hear what they’re saying. Do they just not want us to hear what they’re saying, is that it? Are they simply forgetting their lines, so they figure if they mumble and whisper, we won’t notice or something? I want some answers.

So, of course, in order to hear what the Actors are saying, I hafta turn my sound way, way up. Just when it seems I can hear what’s being said, some Unexpected and Borderline Rude Sound Effect suddenly pops up, or the Music kicks in in a highly huge way, and the windows in my Shoebox all shatter, it’s so loud. So far, I’ve had to replace my windows 32 times, which isn’t cheap. I should write the Sponsor, Snark Bros. Windows, and complain. They should stop buying advertising for these Shows until they fix that problem, ya’ know?

And here’s another thing: Why is it that the Camera Crew shoots Night Scenes in the dark and make it impossible to see what’s actually going on? Seriously now. Couldn’t they light a candle, at least, so we don’t just sit there, looking at this black screen? What is THAT all about?

Sometimes it just feels like we’re not supposed to bee able to see or hear things on TV anymore, ya’ know what I mean? And if that’s the case, what’s the point, even?

On top of all of this, sometimes I’m sitting there, Binge-Watching, and everything just stops. Completely. It’s like an Intermission but it’s not an Intermission. And usually, that happens just about when you’re ready to find out if Bimini Fatswaggle is going to run off to the War to escape his Terrible Crime or if his Step Cousin, Buzzly, will convince him to do the right thing and not go along with the Plan to have the Underground Resistance smuggle him out of the country inside a fake piece of amber. But no, we hafta wait until that stupid little Spinny Thing goes away, and even then I end up having to go to bed not knowing what in the hell is about to happen with all this. It’s very rude. It’s like the Streaming Service also doesn’t want you to know what’s going on or what’s going to happen next, ya’ know what I mean? And do they care that you’re losing sleep over the whole mess?
No, they don’t.

The whole thing is highly aggravating, isn’t it?

Still, I suppose that Binge-Watching is better than having to shovel a bunch of snow, or hanging around outside where your wings get all cold and stiff (or maybee even freeze and break off . . . and nobody wants that).

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all remember to bee Highly Careful out there!

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