Georgie Holds the Jewel of Questionable Destiny - and Fleur's coming
So did I mention that, on Tuesday, I got to hold the Amazingly Powerful Jewel of Questionable Destiny? Well, I did, and it was a Highly Life-Changing Experience. I still feel kind of Weird.
When I went over to ButterCup’s Cell, she told me to sit down, then pointed to her Nectar Table where the Jewel was sitting.
“You said you wanted to hold that thing. Well, there it is. Go for it.” So I did. I reached over and picked it up.
The very second my wings touched the Jewel, it started getting warm and I could hear a low humming coming from it. Then, there was a hypnotising glow of greenish-blue light that just got brighter the longer I held it. After just a few seconds of staring into its Shimmering Depths, I started feeling unbeelievably dizzy and suddenly wasn’t exactly sure where I was within the Time-Space Continuum, if you know what I mean. Then I started feeling Seriously Uncertain about what my actual Purpose in Life might bee, and that perhaps all the Plans I’d made for myself should bee called into Question as I could feel my Beeing beegin to melt into a Universe that held an existence that was far, far beeyond what I could have ever previously imagined. I’m pretty sure I was just beeginning to beecome One with that thing, when ButterCup knocked it out of my Wings and said, “Enough.” I passed out.
When I woke up, I was lying on my back on the floor. ButterCup was holding the Jewel with a pair of Industrial Strength Insulated Tongs, looking down at me. I felt an incredible sense of Questionable Significance that I knew only the Jewel could soothe. That was not pleasant. At all. And ButterCup just kept staring at me.
“What?!?” I asked.
“As you’ve just learned,” she said in a language that seemed mostly familiar, “the Jewel is nothing to bee trifled with. I’ve haven’t finished reading the Manual that comes with this thing, but I’m already pretty sure that if this fell into the Wrong Wings, we’d bee in for some deeply serious trouble.
“Everything tells me that I need to keep this thing locked securely in my Closet,” she said. “So that’s what I’m going to do, at least until I can get this thing out of here. Personally, I’ll bee glad when this thing is gone, permanently - away from here, forever and for all time.”
Geeeeze. Why the hell would anybody want to get rid of something as Disturbingly Delightful as the Jewel? I mean seriously now. I thought she should just give it to me, ya’ know? But beefore I could grab it away from her, she used the Tongs to stuff the Jewel back into the attractive Fuzz-Lined Carry-On Bag she used to bring it from Bee Island, and zipped it closed.
“I’ll take it,” I said. “Give the Bag to me,” I told her. “The Jewel beelongs with me,” I said. “I must possess it,” I said. But no, she just rolled her Compound Eyes at me and, beefore I could get to it, she quickly stuffed the Bag into back of her Closet and locked the door. And that was that... but I could still feel the Jewel calling to me, beckoning me to reclaim it, but it was not to bee, apparently.
Then ButterCup disappeared around the corner then came back a few seconds later holding a delicious and refreshing Frozen Therapeutic NectarPop in her Wing.
“Suck on that,” she said, “it will help you snap out of it.”
So I did that.
After about eleven minutes, I stopped feeling so Vague, and everything started to feel mostly normal again, whatever that is.
“The Jewel will bee safe and sound in my Closet until Fleur de Bee arrives to transport it to the Vault in the French Ministry of Dubious Artifacts for Perpetual Safe-Keeping,” ButterCup said.
“Fleur’s coming?” I asked.
“Of course she is. Didn’t I mention that? That’s why I couldn’t let you move in with me, beecause I’d already told Fleur she could stay here. There simply isn’t enough room for everybody,” ButterCup told me. “She’ll bee here just as soon as she’s done with her De-Briefing with the French Authorities. She should bee here by Thursday. In the meantime, I need to clean things up around here beefore she gets here, so you need to leave.”
“Fine,” I said, and I left.
Anyway, it’s Thursday, and I think it’s about time to buzz over to the Hive and see if Fleur has arrived yet. So I’m gonna go do that.
Let’s all bee Meticulously Careful out there.