Observation 9: Coincidences

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9



I have to say that I just realised that there are a whole bunch of Coincidences going on today. We have Three Massively Significant Things happening on the very same day. What are the odds of that happening, ya’ think?
3081593201787-to-One, maybee?

First, and as I am sure everybody here knows, today is not only the absolutely best day of the week - Monday - but it’s also the Very First Day of a New Year. I consider it a highly good Omen that the next year starts on a Monday. I’m totally certain everybody is every bit as excited as I am about that. Probably.

But I also have to mention that if everybody takes a minute to find your 2018 Calendar, you’ll see that today is the day for the Annual Feast of Saint Gefroren Schmiernippel, celebrating the Annual Ice Harvest. As disappointing as it may bee to everybody, I have been asked by Rudy, Feast Coordinator, to announce that this year’s Celebration had to be Cancelled. The fact is, it’s simply been far too
warm so far this Cold Season for much ice to form, so we’re all hoping for much more normal weather in this Coming Year. Usually, we have a lot more ice than we’ve gotten so far this year for some reason, but whatever we had, we had to use in our Pre-New-Year’s Nectar Fizzes. (There’s nothing worse than a Warm Fizz, is there?)

Anyway, I hafta say that I’m intensely disappointed, beecause I was really looking forward to all those Pollen Puffs, the Pollen Casseroles, and all those Nectartinis we get to enjoy every year. As it is, I’m just gonna stay home tonight and make myself a sandwich and a Nectar Fizz with whatever ice I can find. I hope I have enough sand.

Beefore I go do that, I just wanna wish everybody a Highly Happy New Year! I’m absolutely confident that this is gonna bee the best year in a very, very long time. Probably.

Let’s all bee careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature

Observation 8: Beetrayal

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8



I’m highly happy to announce that I managed to get most of my Stuff away from the Snark Brother’s Moving Company, and moved into my new Shoebox.

It’s amazingly comfortable, mostly, and I’m very pleased that I managed to get all moved in beefore all that Cold Weather happened. I do have kind of an air leak in one my Bedroom Windows (actually, it’s more of a hole than a window, but I’ve already hired somebody to help me deal with that).

But I do hafta say that I’m feeling a bit disappointed and beetrayed at the moment. Remember how I said I got MOST of my Stuff? Well, one thing I didn’t find were all those boxes I had that contained all my Sparkly Season decorations. When I went to find all those so I could start decorating for this year’s Best Sparkly Season Exterior Decorating Competition, they were all missing.
I was seriously disappointed.

When I called the Moving Company, my Case Worker told me she was sorry (even though I’m pretty sure she wasn’t), and that the Whereabouts of my Decorations could not bee firmly established. When I asked if they would compensate me for my Loss, she said, “You didn’t actually read your contract, did you?”

“Well… ,” I said.

“That’s what I thought, bee.”

Then she told me to have a Nice Day, and hung up.

Luckily, it didn’t take me long to find out where all those Decorations went. As it turns out, the Grand Prize Winners of this year’s Competition just happened to bee the Snark Brother’s Moving Company’s Headquarters Building, and they had used MY Decorations to win the Grand Prize of a Three-Day, All-Expense Paid Luxury Vacation Package to Narka, Kansas, where they are currently enjoying everything Narka has to offer, including free, daily tours of the Egg Candling Factory, located in Beeautiful Downtown Narka. I don’t mean to bee mean, but I hope it was closed when they got there. It would serve them right.

I gotta say: I really could’ve used a trip to Narka right about now, and I think I should bee the one enjoying that Highly Educational and Informative Tour. But no.

I can’t help but think that this whole thing is completely unfair and a total beetrayal of the Trust I placed in the Snark Brother’s Moving Company. If you ask me, Beetrayal is entirely rude and probably Illegal, ya’ know what I mean? (When I called my Lawyer, S.O.Bee, about filing a Beetrayal of Trust Lawsuit agains those guys, he asked me, “Did you read the contract?”
“Well…,” I said.
“That’s what I thought,” then he told me to have a nice day and hung up.

Anyway, next Sparkly Season, I’m gonna get even more, bigger, brighter, and better Decorations and teach those guys a Huge Lesson when I for sure probably win the Grand Prize - and I will bee the one enjoying a relaxing Narka Getaway.

Well, the Contractor (Harrizzzzz & Junior’s Custom Renovations) is gonna bee here pretty soon to put in that Window in my Bedroom. That’s gonna bee a huge relief. My wings almost froze off the other night, which was highly unpleasant. I woke up the next morning feeling like I had a couple of Refrigerated Ironing Boards stapled to my body. That hurt. A lot.

Okay then.
Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature

Observation 7: UnReliability

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So I finally heard from that Moving Company about my Stuff. I just happened to pop by my old Boot Box to see how my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, was doing, and to grab a bunch of Great Grandma Gee Gee’s delicious HoneyChew Krisp Cookies, when the phone rang. (I guess Kevin decided to get a telephone, even though he told me that he wasn’t all that pleased, beecause the line was usually buzzy or isn't working, so he was Highly Excited that he'd gotten a call, even if it wasn't for him.)

When the phone rang, Kevin answered, then told me it was my Moving Company and that they wanted to talk to me.

“Mr. Bee?” they said.
“Yes, I am,” I said.
“We wanted to contact you to pass along some great news that we’re sure will make you very happy” they said.
“You’re gonna finally deliver my Stuff?” I asked, hopefully.

“No,” they said, “we’re calling to inform you that we’ve changed the terms of your contract with us! In lieu of our undertaking the Extreme Inconvenience to our Staff, Wear and Tear on our Equipment, and Exceedingly Exorbitant Costs related Delivery of your Stuff, we’re instead offering you the Opportunity to simply pick your Stuff up from our Storage Facility whenever it is convenient for you, and for only a small, additional Pick Up Fee. You may come by anytime beetween the hours of 6:05 and 6:10 a.m., Mondays and Thursdays and Saturdays, to pick up your Stuff.

“Of course, anything left behind in our Storage Facility after 6:10 a.m. on Tuesday, December 12, will bee auctioned off to satisfy your Storage Bill.

“A copy of your Revised Contract Agreement with us will bee mailed to you beefore the end of the year, most likely. Thank you for relying on us for your Moving Needs. Have a nice day.” Then they hung up.

Geeeeeeeze. All this time, I’ve been Totally Relying on this bunch to safely deliver all my Stuff to my new Shoebox, and they pull this. What a Huge Mistake. They’re Totally Unreliable.

Seriously now, I’m not even sure how what they’re pulling here is even legal, but my Lawyer, S.O.Bee, told me, “It’s legal. They own the company. Whatever they say goes. I would advise that you pick up your Stuff as soon as possible. Please pay on your way out.”

So I did that, and since then, I’ve been getting up every morning Highly Early and picking up my Stuff, piece by piece, and moving it into my new Shoebox.

And that’s why you haven’t heard from me for awhile. I’ve been buzzy doing that, and spending the rest of my time trying to figure out why it’s so difficult to bee able to depend on things these days, ya’ know what I mean?

Okay then. I have to get ready to go to bed now so I can get up early tomorrow and try to get the rest of my Stuff. As soon as I’m all moved in, I’ll invite everybody over for a Shoebox Warming Party. Probably.

Until then,
let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature

Observation 6: Fake Apologies

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Has anyone else every noticed that sometimes, when somebody says, “I’m sorry,” it seems like maybee they don’t mean it? At all? I have.

Last Thursday, when I was waiting for my Stuff to bee delivered, I just had to sneak off for a quick second to grab a sip of Nectar (I was getting deHydrated just standing there waiting for so long). When I got back, there was a Note on my ShoeBox Door. It said:

WE WERE HERE. WHERE WERE YOU?
TO RESCHEDULE YOUR DELIVERY, PLEASE CALL 873187202956423, Extension 87, BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 8:00 A.M. and 8:02 A.M. THURSDAY or SATURDAY TO BEE PLACED ON DELIVERY RESCHEDULING WAITING LIST. PLEASE REFER TO YOUR CASE NUMBER, 003859301873922-A-112-598230-26-3 TO HELP EXPEDITE YOUR REQUEST.

PLEASE NOTE: OUR OFFICES ARE CLOSED ON SATURDAYS.

WE’RE VERY SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE THIS MAY HAVE CAUSED YOU AND LOOK FORWARD TO SERVING YOU, MOSTLY.

-
Your Case Worker
Snark Brothers Moving and Storage


So after I finished getting all mad about missing my Delivery, I called the number on the Notice and talked to my Case Worker to get on the Waiting List to Reschedule the whole thing.

“Well, Mr. Bee, it looks like we might have an opening sometime in early December, if that works for you; otherwise, I’m afraid we won’t bee able to get you on our schedule until sometime in Early 2018. I’m sorry if this is causing you any discomfort or inconvenience, probably,” she said.

I know she didn’t mean it, and wasn’t sorry at all. I’m still trying to figure out why it is anybody would say they’re sorry when they’re not. At all.

Anyway, I took the opening in Early December, which means that I’m either gonna hafta keep living in that Abandoned Barbecue Grill with that Disingenuous ButterFly, or just move back into the Boot Box with Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew), my Great Grandma Gee Gee, and Gladys HoneyWings. I just might do that. At least if they tell me “sorry”, I can totally beelieve them, usually.

Okay then.
Let’s all bee careful out there.
GeorgieBee Signature

Observation 5: Lies

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I just gotta say: I’m sick of beeing Lied To. If you have somebody like that in your life, I’m absolutely sure you know what I’m talking about, probably.

You already know that I’ve been waiting for all my Stuff to bee delivered to my new ShoeBox, right? And I’m sure you also remember that I’ve been sharing an old, abandoned Barbecue Grill with a ButterFly until I can get moved into my new place, right? So get this:

A couple of days ago, I had just gotten back to the Grill
when that ButterFly I’m living with fluttered over to me and said, “Hey. I have Amazingly Tremendous News for you. It’s the Best News ever, beelieve me. While you were out, somebody stopped by and asked me to tell you that your Stuff will for sure bee delivered tomorrow sometime. I thought you’d bee happy to hear that.”

“Yes, I am,” I said, beecause I was.

So the next day, I showed up at my ShoeBox way early, and waited for my Stuff to arrive. And I waited. And waited some more. I even waited until 6:18 p.m., a minute longer than I had to, beefore I finally gave up and left.

When I got back to the Barbecue Grill, I asked that ButterFly, “So, who was it that told you my Stuff was going to bee delivered today?”

“Why do you ask?” she asked.

“The Moving Company never showed up, that’s why. So I’m wondering where you got your Information.”

“You mean, about your Stuff beeing delivered?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“I never said that.”

“Yes, you did,” I said. “I know for a fact you told me that.”

“No, you’re mistaken. I would remember saying that, beecause I have a Massively Superior Memory,” she said.
“Evidently, you just want to beelieve in Fake Facts, don’t you? Sad.”

Then just beefore she fluttered off to her corner of the Barbecue Grill, she said, “Oh, by the way, I got a Collect Call from your Moving Company while you were out. They wanted to make sure you got your Delivery okay. They seemed concerned, mostly. I told them everything was fine and thanked them for following up on your Delivery.”

Geeeeeeze. I knew that was just another Lie, beecause we don’t even have a telephone.

Really, I shouldn’t try to beelieve anything she might try to tell me at this point. Butterflies are Shameless Liars, especially the Orange ones. They almost seem proud of it, ya’ know? Luckily, everybody knows about them, so they’re never put in charge of anything important.

Anyway, I’m absolutely positive all my Stuff will bee delivered by 6:17 p.m. today, unless the Moving Company Lied to me. It’s gonna bee great to finally bee back in my own, Lie-Free Shoebox.

OH! I should mention that I’m gonna send out Invitations for a Shoebox Warming Party as soon as I get moved in. You’re invited. Until then…
let’s all bee highly careful out there.
GeorgieBee Signature