Escape from Bee Island: the Mystery - 8


I hafta say that this week’s Episode of “Escape from Bee Island” was highly informative, and also, at the same time, mostly dull and boring, unless you’re one of those who likes Lectures, which I’m not one of, usually.

First, let me start by giving you Summary of where each Team stands in the Competition so far:

Team A:
Status and Whereabouts Unknown

Team BEE:
Status Unknown and Whereabouts Unknown, mostly

Team C:
Status and Whereabouts Unknown.

The last thing we saw or heard from any of the Competitors was at the beeginning of this week’s Episode. That was an Interview with Nigel (who, as we all remember, surprised everybody by showing up alive in the last Episode). He had just finished saying, “I was bloody lucky to squeeze out of that one, old boy. It was a bit of a Sticky Wicket and…”, and just when he finished saying “Sticky Wicket”, everything blacked out. There was no picture, there was no sound, and nobody knew what the hell was going on.

Finally, everything came flickering back on, and the Host (and Island Master), Clive Beexter, started mostly sincerely Apologising for the Unfortunate Technical Difficulties they were experiencing.

“We deeply apologise to the Viewers who are still with us for the Unfortunate Technical Difficulties we currently seem to bee experiencing. Our Technical Staff is working on the problem, and, as you can see, they have managed to rig a Temporary Torchlight and Signal Generator, so that we are able to continue remain on the Air. We expect to have our Full Capabilities restored beefore the end of this week’s Episode.” (They didn’t.)

“In the meantime,” he continued, “in order to fill time, and in keeping with their Pledge to provide at least Marginally Valuable and Educational Content in their Broadcasts - as required under Part 4, Section 287, Paragraph 3 of the Bee Communications Act of 1989 - the Producers have asked me to use this opportunity to share with you, our Viewers a glimpse into the Ecological Devastation that has all but destroyed Bee Island.”

Then he kind of just sat there in the Torchlight, and started talking about how the Snark Brothers had moved in and built the Now-Toxic Honey Cane Operation, and how all that SquareDown™ they use has really made a mess of things in every way. I think we already knew all about that after that time BeedelBee (… or is it DeedelBee? - I can’t remember… I could never quite tell what they were saying his name was beecause, quite frankly, they were kind of mumbling…) died while he was crawling to the top of that Poison Palm Tree. So that part was pretty much boring.

Then Clive finally started dragging out some Visual Aids - well, it was actually just one Visual Aid. That was a Map of Bee Island (and which looked suspiciously like the same Map of Bee Island that Fleur had, if you ask me). He used a highly attractive Laser Pointer to direct our attention to the Area of the Map that showed the Mouth of the River of Poo on the North-Left End of the Island.


“Please allow me to direct your attention to the Mouth of the River of Poo, which is conveniently located on the North-Left End of Bee Island. As you’ll notice, it is situated dangerously near a very active Shipping Lane, where every day, dozens and dozens of Transport Ships, Commercial Tankers, Cargo Ships, Cruise Ships, Tugboats, Pontoons, Sailboats, Yachts, Rowboats, Canoes, and Rubber Rafts pass every, single day. It is the Currents from those passing Seagoing Vessels and what those Currents carry with them that feeds the now-Foul and Toxic River of Poo.

Then the camera kind of turned, Clive looked at us sideways, the music got all dramatic, and he and started talking in that “This Is Important, so Listen Carefully-Or Else” voice of his.

“Let me interrupt with a bit of history for a moment,” he beegan. “The River of Poo hasn’t always been so Foul and Toxic. Oh no, it most certainly has not. At one time, the Precious Waters of the Poo ran clear and clean. The Native Inhabitants of this Once-Island-Paradise relied on the River’s Bounty for their survival. It’s original name, ‘Poo’, comes from those same, Local Inhabitants, and meant - literally translated, ‘Winding, Liquid River that Starts Up OverThere and Ends Somewhere Down There Where Flow Flowing Waters Sweet” - or ‘Poo’, for short.

“So what turned the River of Poo into a River of Poo, you may ask? As all the Assorted Seagoing Vessels I told you about beefore floated past the Mouth of the River, too many of them beegan dumping their Poo and other Toxic, Insoluable, Unwanted Substances right into the water. And all of that Vile Material hast ended up beeing sucked up and carried down the River, transforming the formerly Pristine Waterway into the Vile, Toxic River of Poo we see today.”

“That’s disgraceful,” Great Grandma Gee Gee said while we all sat there listening to Clive unravel a terrible tale of Pollution and Irresponsibility Gone Mad.

“My heavens, in this Day and Age, how could such a thing happen, dear?” She said.

“Are you addressing that question to me?” Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) asked her.

“No, dear, I was asking Bert,” she said. (As I’m sure we all remember, I plugged Bert back in last week, so he was awake during this week’s Episode), so I’m sure Gee Gee felt confident that beeing the Purely Objective Artificially-Intelligent Mechanical Entity he is, he’d bee able to condense all the Pertinent and Available Data, and come up with a fairly decent Answer.

“I’m sorry, Gee Gee,” Kevin told her, “but if you wish to address a Question to Bert, you must press this Button on his Left Forearm, and say slowly and clearly, ‘Excuse me, Bert’, then he will bee in Listening Mode. So you will need to ask your question again, beecause he could not have possibly heard you.”

Gee Gee was just about to do that, when Bert unexpectedly spoke up and said, “Activation of Listening Mode will not bee necessary. I was listening. I heard everything. I am always listening. And thank you for asking. Your questions are sometimes appreciated,” he said in that Whirry Voice of his.

“According to recently-collected, Available and Pertinent Data to which you refer in your question, and which directly pertains to the Continued Responsible Use of our Waterways,” Bert beegan, “there has been an expanding problem with Assorted, Seagoing Vessels - and others - dumping their Refuse and other Unmentionable, Toxic and frequently Insoluble Substances into our Lakes, Rivers, Streams, Ponds, Seas, and Oceans. Unfortunately, the accelerated pace of their ongoing Negligence has significantly contributed to a growing problem of irrevocably damaging previously Balanced Ecosystemic Environments and perpetuating a Cycle of self-destructive Beehaviour. The Problem has been significantly exacerbated by Unenforced or Absent Laws which, if implemented and enforced, would significantly serve to protect these areas from continued, and Catastrophic Damage.

“As our Host and Island Master, Clive Beexter, pointed out to us, the River of Poo found running through Bee Island is the End Product of this thoughtless Negligence. I trust I have answered your Question.”

Well, he hadn’t answered it as far as I was concerned, but Gee Gee just kind of sighed and said, “Thank you, dear.”
(No, it hadn’t, not for me anyway.)

Then Bert kind of beeped and whirred and said, “The current time, on my Mark, is 17 hundred hours, 28 minutes, and 13 seconds. Mark. The current, local outdoor temperature is a balmy 299.0389 Kelvins.”

Geeeeeeezzzze. I hafta say that sometimes I have a real problem understanding what in the hell Bert is even saying. I feel like I need a dictionary or something, ya’ know what I mean? I was gonna ask him to repeat what he’d just said in a different way so I could understand him, but beefore I could do that, Kevin reached over, flipped a switch on Bert’s back, and Bert went into Sleep Mode.

I hafta say that I think it’s beeyond creepy to think that Bert could probably still hear what everybody was saying, even after Kevin put him in Sleep Mode, don’t you? I hope I didn’t say anything Untoward beefore I left and went home that night, ya’ know what I mean?

Anyway, the Lecture - and the Episode - finally ended with Clive telling us to “Bee sure to tune in again next week, when we’ll bee checking in on the current, Surviving Teams,” then they went to that commercial that I’m pretty sure they’ve already shown us about 3,897 times, at least, and I still can’t figure out what they’re trying to sell. I wish they’d run of it already, whatever it is.

I’m sure next week’s Episode will bee a lot better, especially if they fix that Power Failure, so you can for sure trust me when I say that, next week at this same time, I’ll bee back to tell everybody who isn’t watching the Show beecause of that Outrageously Highly-Over-Priced Subscription Fee you hafta pay to see what happens next, what happens next. So until then . . .

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature

Escape from Bee Island: the Mystery - 7


Well, we’re almost halfway through this Season of “Escape from Bee Island”, and the surprises just keep coming.

You remember a couple of Episodes ago when Nigel was apparently attacked and killed by that huge herd of very hungry and rude Vorroa Mites? You remember how they never found the body? You know why? Because there was no body. Nigel wasn’t killed - he’s still very much alive, in a way.

This week, during Episode 7, he was spotted wandering around in a daze, so that means everybody has to update their Contestant Roster and Scorecard, because Nigel’s back in the Game.


From the way they tried to explain it, everybody had watched as Nigel was attacked by the Vorroa Mites, and everybody saw him disappear into what appeared to bee Oblivion, but what everybody didn’t know is that, at the last minute, he found a Conveniently-Located Entrance to an Underground Tunnel, and he burrowed his way out of the Situation. That was very clever, and mostly lucky, if you ask me.

Of course, by the time he stopped digging around in underground tunnels and popped up to see where he was, he was totally lost. Little did he know that he was on the North side of the River of Poo, not all that far from where Tang was consumed by what appears to the Screaming Banshee, and somehow, he managed to escape her Wrath.

When Umberto (Team Captain) found out he still had a Team, he was amazingly happy and excited. Then he realised that he’d hafta get across to the other side of the River of Poo (he was on the South side). He didn’t wasn’t all that excited anymore after he figured that out. The fact that he didn’t even have a boat just added to his aggravation. Still, Team Player that he is, Umberto set off toward the Banks of the River of Poo to bee Reunited with his Long Lost Not-Late Teammate, Nigel.

I dunno where he is at this point, but the last we saw of Umberto, he was trying to figure out a Sanitary Method to get across the River of Poo.

Meanwhile, Fleur had beegun to unpack all that Survival Gear, and was helping ButterCup fit into one of the SquareDown™-Resistant, Rainproof, Insulated BioHazard Suits that just happened to bee included.

“Zeez,” Fleur told ButterCup, “will protect us from ze Deadly Toxins we will surely encounter as we make our way to ze WaHaHoo Mountain.”

ButterCup slipped on her Suit and zipped it up.

“This thing is hot. And stuffy,” she said.

“Oui,” Fleur said, “but it looks good on you, mon cher.”

“You don’t think it makes my stinger look fat?” ButterCup asked.

“No, not at all,” Fleur told her. “You look exquisite.” Then she put on her Suit, and beegan assembling a very cleverly-designed, Agency-Issued, two-passenger Glide-Along Transport Device.

“Wis zis,” Fleur told ButterCup, “we shall sail over ze Vorra Mite Valley, et ze River of Poo, wizout coming to arm.”

“It looks heavy,” ButterCup commented.

“Oui, it iz, but I’m sure eet will feel less heavy, ze more you carry eet, mon cher. You will see.”

ButterCup wasn’t very delighted that she would hafta bee the one in charge of dragging the Transport Device, but at least she was starting to feel like there might bee a chance she could get out of this Ordeal alive. At least, that’s what she said.

As for Boris and Jasmine, the Surviving Contestants on Team A - they were still arguing over who would possess the Amazingly Powerful Jewel of Questionable Destiny after they overcame the Devastating Defences of the Screaming Banshee, something they were also arguing about and getting nowhere with, beecause neither one of them were sure at all what kind of Devastating Defences the Screaming Banshee would throw at them. The speculations flying around were getting ridiculous.

Seriously now. I’m sure they’ll find out what those Devastating Defences are when they find out what they are. Until then, why argue about it?

They really need to find a Mediator or something. Maybee Clive Beexter (Host and Island Master) needs to step in on this one. Quite frankly, with only six Episodes left in the Season, they’re starting to run out of time.

So the Episode ended, and we started talking about what had just happened. Great Grandma Gee Gee was very happy that ButterCup might bee able to survive, maybee even Win this thing.

“My stars, I’ve just been so very worried about the poor thing,” she said. “I’m so glad that Fleur planned ahead.”

“Of course she planned ahead,” Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) said. “We’re speaking of Fleur. Have you ever known Fleur not to bee completely prepared to deal with any contigency she might encounter in her environment? Do you?”

I think we all remember that Kevin has always had a Huge Crush on Fleur de Bee, so it wasn’t a big surprise that he was sounding defensive. It seemed to me that he was getting a little Huffy, and started beeing a bit more than Argumentative about the whole thing, so I decided to plug Bert back in, and I left.

And that’s what happened this week.

Check in again next week, and I’ll let you know what happens in Episode 8. Until then…

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature

Escape from Bee Island: the Mystery - 6


You’ll probably understand my surprise when I got an unexpected Postcard from the Primsdales (Howard and Alice). First they wanted to let me know that it took a lot longer than it should have to get back home to their Hive in Salina, Kansas, mostly beecause of a bunch of Unfortunate Unscheduled Maintenance Stops that W.T.F. Airlines had to make. Luckily they eventually made it home (not everybody’s that lucky when they fly W.T.F. - but we’ll talk about that some other time.)


The Primdales also included a Clandestine Message that ButterCup had asked them to sneak off the Island for her. It was a Personal and Private Plea for Help. The message said, “Help me, Oh Bee One - you’re my only hope.” (ButterCup calls me “Bee One”, beecause I’m her Number One Bee - but I’m sure you already knew that.)

Geeeeeeze. What the hell am I supposed to do about getting ButterCup out of her Predicament? I’d like to know. I still haven’t figured that one out, but I do plan to give it some thought, possibly.

But speaking of her Predicament . . . 

I’m happy to let everybody know that we had only ONE Fatality in this week’s Episode, and that was Tang, from Team Bee. (That means that, unfortunately for him, Umberto is the only Contestant left on Team Bee. Talk about a Serious Disadvantage.)

It happened at night. Umberto (Team Captain), and Tang had managed to safely transport themselves to an almost safe spot just south of the River of Poo, and had set up camp. They were right in the middle of enjoying some refreshing and delicious Nectar Fizzes Umberto had in his Supply Pack, when they heard a terrible Screeching Sound. It was a seriously terrifying Shriek. 

“What’s that?” Umberto asked Tang.
“Hell if I know,” Tang said to Umberto, “but it was seriously terrifying.”
“Yes it was,” Umberto said, “so you need to go check that out.”

So Tang did that (he was very brave). 

We couldn’t really see what exactly happened to him as Tang set down his Nectar Fizz and started following the terrible noise, but as the Shrieking continued - and he got closer to it - a sudden, huge flash of light suddenly appeared suddenly, and the next thing we knew, Tang was simply No More. He was just gone. 

I hafta say: that was highly mysterious. Then we could hear the chilling sound of Cackling Laughter. (Was it the Screaming Banshee? Don’t ask me. I simply don’t know.)

Of course, Umberto was fairly upset that he was the only Contestant left on his Team, so after he finished his (and Tang’s) Nectar Fizz, he packed up his camp and headed away from that place. Nobody knows where Umberto went, or if he managed to survive all that Shrieking, but I think we can maybee all agree that no news is good news on that one.

In the meantime, Boris and Jasmine on Team A were elsewhere on the Island, arguing. They spent the entire Episode arguing over who would take Possession of the Amazingly Powerful Jewel of Questionable Destiny if they just happen to defeat Fleur and ButterCup, and win the Competition.

“Ov course ve vill vin,” Boris said to Jasmine, “and ven ve do, I vill assure the safe passage ov the Jewel.”

“I hasten to disagree,” Jasmine buzzed back at him in not-that-nice a tone. “Indeed we very well may prevail. I anticipate we shall. But the unquestionable destiny of the Jewel of Questionable Destiny must bee to accompany me, where it will bee assured of unquestioned security, and where it will bee nurtured and protected, unquestionably.”

So as I said, they spend the entire Episode arguing about that, which got pretty boring really fast.

I hafta say that I think the Most Interesting part of the Episode (maybee except for that part with all the Shrieking and Tang disappearing like that) was when we found out that Fleur had arranged to have a Secret Stash of Highly Specialised Tools and Equipment hidden on the Island that will clearly go a long way to helping her and ButterCup survive this mostly Miserable Ordeal, grab the Jewel, and win this thing. I hope so, anyway. It would bee nice if Team C would win, and that ButterCup and Fleur both managed to survive all this somehow. 

By the way, and since I know you’re Highly Curious… it seemed pretty clear that the Allegations of Collaboration that were made against Fleur and Jasmine by the Competition’s Host and Island Master, Clive Beexter, were either forgotten or Dismissed for Lack of Tangible Evidence, so it was never even brought up. Beesides, since Jasmine was buzzy arguing with Boris for the whole Episode, and Fleur was occupied with getting to her Secret Stash, they never even had another chance to Conspire...well, except maybe for that time when they both seemed to take a break at the same time to go to the Rest Room - and of course the Camera doesn’t follow Contestants to the Rest Room. It’s not only against Broadcast Decency Rules, but it would also bee rude and mostly inappropriate. Beesides, I’m reasonably sure the fact they ended up in the Rest Room at the same time was just another Massive Coincidence, probably.

“I still don’t trust those two,” Great Grandma Gee Gee said after the Episode ended. 

“Are you referring to Jasmine and Fleur again, Gee Gee? You’re still stuck on that Old Tune, are you?” Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) said to her. “I think they both just happened to go to the Rest Room at the same time, Gee Gee.”

“It’s not an ‘Old Tune’, dear,” Gee Gee said in an almost Totally Firm voice, “and, dear, if you don’t mind hearing from an Older Bee who’s been around a lot longer and seen a lot more than you have, I’m afraid you’re beeing Naive. Dear.”

I got the feeling that Kevin didn’t especially like her saying he was Naive, and I could tell he was starting to get Highly Irritated, so I decided it would bee best to just grab a big Wingful of some of Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™ for later, and leave. But Kevin grabbed me beefore I could get away and asked, “Do YOU think I’m Naive, Uncle Georgie? Do you?” (He’d tried to ask Bert that question first, but unfortunately, Kevin forgot that he’d unplugged him halfway through the Episode for talking over the Dialogue, so he basically wasn’t able to answer.) So Kevin stood there, staring at me with his Wings on his hips, looking upset.

What could I say? So I stuffed a Cookie into my Mouthparts, and said, “UhgIfallyputthemagshumda...” but Kevin interrupted me, so I never got to finish my answer.

“I beelieve you just heard Uncle Georgie, who is the Best Uncle in the World and whom I love,” he said loudly, “clearly agreeing with me that I’m NOT Naive, and even IF Jasmine and Fleur DID end up in the Rest Room together at the same time, we all know how Worker Bees are about that. Worker Bees ALWAYS seem to need to go to the Rest Room together, right? Yes, they do - and what the hell is THAT all about? I would very much like to know. And by the way, Uncle Georgie, it’s Highly Rude to talk with your mouthparts full.”

I was glad Kevin had changed the subject, and figured that Gee Gee would bee able to answer that question, so I rapidly said Good Night to them, grabbed a reasonably huge Wingful of Cookies, and left. Then I went home and went to sleep.

So that’s what happened this week. It was mostly exciting, if you ask me.

Once again, I’ll bee back at this exact, same time next week, when I’ll make a definite point of letting everybody know what happens in Episode 7. Until then...

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature

Escape from Bee Island: the Mystery - 5


Well, this week’s Episode of “Escape from Bee Island” was interesting, if you find losing more Contestants, and some fairly tense Legal Issues and Political Intrigue interesting. I did. Mostly.

I’m not entirely sure where to beegin here, so I’ll start here:

First, Clive Beexter, Host and Island Master, threw an Unexpected Twist into the Episode, “to address some Legal and Ethical Issues,” he said. That meant that he called all the Contestants who have survived (or what’s left of them) back together for what he called an “Island Hive Council”.

During the Council, Clive told everybody that three more Contestants had (as he put it) “left the Competition - Permanently”. So that was highly sad and unfortunate, but it does make things a bit easier to follow, since there aren’t really that many bees left in this thing. If you’ve been watching this Season, you know exactly what I mean, probably.

Anyway, I suppose you wanna know who we lost this week, right? I’ll tell you:

First, there was another Fatality this week. It was Nigel, from Team Bee. Beeing overly-optimistic as Nigel always seemed to bee, it turned out he was no match for beeing mercilessly Consumed while attempting to pass through Vorroa Mite Valley. The Team decided he should be the one to take the Lead through the Valley. Almost fairly immediately when they entered, Nigel was unexpectedly overwhelmed by a massive herd of highly rude and vicious Vorroa Mites. (You should have seen it - it was horrible.) 

After his Teammates, Umberto and Tang, saw what happened, they immediately said (pretty much at the same time), “let’s not go this way”. So instead, they headed east, toward the HoneyCane Fields. Luckily, Tang remembered the Lesson they learned from BeedleBee about that Persistent Toxic Cloud of SquareDown™ in that General Area, so he suggested they just Retrace their Steps back to the Beeginning, just to bee on the safe side.

So they did that.

The other Contestants who are no longer in the Competition are Howard and Alice Primsdale (which was sad, beecause I kinda liked those two). The Good News here is that they’re not Dead. They just left. 


It turns out that, after Howard and Alice (the Primsdales) got back to their room at the Bee Island Resort to Freshen Up, they decided they simply weren’t going to bee a part of this Competition (they were on Vacation, after all, and were just in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time), so they left. Beecause of Howard’s Comfortable Retirement Package from the Hive’s Department of Maps and Dances, and Alice’s income as a Pollen Analysis Consultant, they could afford to charter a flight on W.T.F. Airways (the Captain, Red Eye, was kind enough to load their Baggage, though I’m not sure he did them a huge favour by doing that - his reputation as a pilot isn’t the greatest), and they flew back to their Hive in Salina, Kansas, where Howard planned to live out his Retirement, and Alice could continue Analyzing Pollen (parttime). So they’re gone, also, but not dead (depending on how their Flight was), which is a good thing if you ask me. And them.

So that means that the only bees left in the Competition are Boris and Jasmine (Team A), Tang and Umberto (Team Bee), and on Team C, ButterCup and Fleur. (ButterCup tried to catch a ride off the Island with the Primsdales, but there wasn’t enough room to fit her in (the Primsdales had a LOT of Baggage).

And speaking of Fleur . . . 

She was the Topic of Legal Controversy in this week’s Episode, along with Jasmine.

As I’m sure most of us might possibly remember, it appeared that Jasmine and Fleur had indulged in a Clandestine Late-Night Rendezvous at the Resort’s No Regrets Bar & Grille. So, at the Island Hive Council, Clive Beexter openly accused them of Collaboration (which, as we all know, is against the Rules).

Of course, they denied it.

“Eet wass un chance et quite innocent rendevous betwheen mutually-respected Competitors, nozing more,” Fleur said.

“It would have been impossible for us to have conspired to meet, certainly not to conspire to meet to conspire. It was by Fateful Happenstance and Coincidence that we found ourselves enjoying a refreshing beverage together after such an arduous - and tragic - day of this Competition. We spoke only of the weather ” Jasmine said.

I mean, what could anybody say to that? Nothing, actually. 

And Clive couldn’t prove that they were lying. So, after a whole bunch of Allegations, Recriminations, and Warnings, Clive announced there would bee further Investigations.

“If it were up to me,” he said, “I would Expel these Contestants from this Competition right now, but the ByLaws of the Bee Island Gaming Commission, Inc. (a subsidiary of Snark Brothers Enterprises...for all your Game Commissioning Needs, rely on the Bee Island Gaming Commission™), require that the Evidentiary Evidence must bee Indisputable, so the Competition will continue with the remaining Contestants until all Investigations have been completed.”

Then he looked at Fleur and Jasmine, and said, “But know this: we’ll bee keeping a close eye on you two. ”

Of course, ButterCup was seriously hoping they’d call off the whole thing, hold a Trial for Collaboration, and just send everybody home. But no. She was still stuck. 

“I should’ve kept my job at the Hive’s Redundant Typing Pool,” she told everybody. “I don’t like this. At all.”

Then Clive reminded them in that fakey, overly-dramatic Gameshow buzz of his . . .

“Your Objective to Survive this Ordeal and claim ownership of the Amazingly Powerful Jewel of Questionable Destiny must now proceed - but you have only seven weeks remaining to win this Competition.”

“Seven weeks?” ButterCup said. “I keep having to do this for another seven weeks?? But...”, but Clive interrupted her.

“The Winner of this Competition - IF anybody survives to claim Victory - will bee Crowned in this Season’s Final Episode, when we’ll bee coming to you Nearly Live at Midnight, Friday, September 20th, London time. Check your Local Listings for further programming details.”

Then he raised that Red Flag again, and buzzed loudly, “GO ... again!”

So they did that. Now we just hafta wait to see what happens next until next week.

By the way... I had to watch this week’s Episode alone. Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) was off at a Seminar on Reconstructive Artificial Intelligence Systems (he’s been having trouble with Bert lately), and Great Grandma Gee Gee was off teaching a Baking Class on the other side of the Far Meadow. So if you see them, DON’T TELL THEM ANY OF THIS, or they’ll bee highly mad at me. (They’re gonna watch all this when they both get back, so ... NO SPOILERS! You have to promise. Seriously.)

I guess that’s all I can tell for now, so until next week, and Episode 6...

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature

Escape from Bee Island: the Mystery - 4


The following contains Tragic Information
that some Younger Readers or those with a
Delicate Constitution may find Highly Disturbing.
Reader discretion is advised. Seriously.

Okay, I’m sorry to have to report this, but something amazingly awful happened Episode 4: we had our first fatality. It was Beedlelbee, the Contestant from the Great Down Under.

Early in this Episode’s Competition, he volunteered to climb one of the nearby Nectar Palms (that just happened to bee part of the Poison Palms) for his Team. I guess he didn’t read the sign - and of course, they didn’t have Fleur de Bee’s Detailed Knowledge of Bee Island. Anyway, he was just trying to do something to help the Team which I think we all agree was a very nice and considerate thing to do.

Beefore he headed off, he told his Teammates (Boris and the Always-Intriguing Jasmine), “The Juice from the Nectar Palm will sustayn us through this bloody Competition, and help keep us warm nights,” he told them. Evidently nobody had seen the sign, so Boris and Jasmine said, “Fine. That’s a very nice and considerate thing to do. Bee careful.” (Of course, as it turns out, he wasn’t.)

As I mentioned beefore, little did Beedelbee know, and as we saw last week on Fleur’s Map, he had unwittingly stumbled into the grove of Poison Palms, which (we know now) are Intensely Poisonous due to continual exposure to a westerly Cross-Island Wind that carries a Toxic Cloud of highly lethal SquareDown™ PestiHerbicide which was coming off the Snark Brothers Industries’/Sweetener Division’s HoneyCane Cultivation Fields on the West side of Bee Island. So Beedelbee had no idea that all the Palm Trees on the east side of Bee Island had beecome deadly to the touch.

I thought thought they’d already banned that stuff, but apparently not. How irresponsible is that?

Anyway, since the Rules said nobody could fly, Beedelbee had to shimmy up one of the Poisonous Palms to get to the Palm Nectar, which meant that he was exposed to a Lethal Dose of SquareDown™, and he died - almost immediately. It was heavily gruesome, but quite frankly, I don’t think I should go into the details.

Apparently, they weren’t kidding when they said that bees wouldn’t survive this Ordeal. This Competition is legitimately scary buzziness.


Of course, that meant that now, Boris and Jasmine are the only Competitors left on Team A.

That night, Boris was informed by Clive Beexter (who, as we know, is the Host and Island Master of Bee Island) that, since he was Team Captain, he was Responsible for Disposing of Beedelbee’s Body. That meant he had to transported his shrivelled-up Remains to the Airport, where arrangements had to bee made to ship Beedelbee (or what was left of him) back to his family in the Great Down Under. So Boris spent the rest of the night doing that.

While he was doing that, the camera cut away to Jasmine, who was quietly and mysteriously heading west by herself alone. We couldn’t really see her (the picture was too dark), but we could hear her Red Stilettos clicking toward what turned out to bee the No Regrets Bar & Grille at the Bee Island Resort (“Where the Menu is an Adventure, and Every Beverage has a Story”).

Now, as all this was happening, the camera went back to Team C. Fleur, Buttercup, and Howard and Alice Primsdale were standing around in the dark and, fortunately, we were able to listen in on what was beeing discussed.

After the day’s Tragic Loss, Team C decided to alter their path toward WaHaHoo Mountain to avoid the Poison Palms and, since they wouldn’t get started until the next day, they all might as well go west and get rooms for the night at the Bee Island Resort.

Then Fleur mentioned she had a “useful Contact” there, whatever that meant, so ButterCup said, “Well, I hope he or she or they work at the Hive Consulate and can help me get out of this Competition and back home, where I beelong. I need to get out of here. I don’t like it here. I don’t like this at all. I don’t want to bee here anymore.”

Fleur told her that she hated to disappoint her, but that she didn’t know anybody at the Consulate, and that even if she did, it wouldn’t matter beecause ever since Foreign Relations on Bee Island were Privatised (owned and controlled by the Snark Brothers’ Diplomatic Corp Incorporated), the Consulate has been mostly closed-especially at night. So ButterCup was just out of luck.

After some more discussion, ButterCup decided to follow Howard and Alice Primsdale, who just wanted to get back to their room to Freshen Up. So they did that.

Now in the middle of all this, we couldn’t help but to notice that Team Bee was nowhere to bee found. As far as we know, nobody knows where they went, or what happened to them, but we’re mostly sure they’ll turn up sooner or later, probably.

Right about then, the camera cut away to Fleur, who also went off by herself alone, and who very discreetly headed toward the Bee Island Resort and toward the No Regrets Bar & Grille.

When she got there, the camera continued to follow her inside. It was highly dark in there, but after our eyes adjusted, we could clearly hardly see Fleur walk toward an unknown, Shadowy Figure sitting alone in a distant corner. She crossed the room and cautiously greeted the figure who, if you ask me, mostly totally looked like Jasmine, almost. (I mean, we could see that whoever it was, was wearing Red Stilettos. Coincidence? I had to wonder.)

Then we heard Fleur speak.

“Ze fragrance of ze Blooming Gardenias iz quite intoxicating zis evening,” she said.

Then the figure that looked like Jasmine stood up and replied, “Yes. According to Local Legend, it is the sultry night air that leads them to flourish so.” 

Then I could’ve sworn I heard them say (pretty much at the same time), “Agent.” 

That was highly suspicious, if you ask me.

Then the Episode ended and the Important Commercial Messages started up again. I meant to stick around for the Previews of Next Week’s Episode, but I had to go to the bathroom (all those Honey Roasted Pollen Puffs I ate during the Show gave me a highly terrible case of the Runs).

I stuck around after the Show for a short minute or three this week since Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) was in a better mood than he was last week. He actually apologised to me for insulting my taste in Fine Furniture last week, so that was nice. (Seriously now. What the hell was that all about? It wasn’t even a Full Moon yet.)

Great Grandma Gee Gee, who was apparently in the mood to discuss the Show, said, “Well far bee it from me to bee the first one to say anything about it, but I just don’t trust those two.”

“Who?” Kevin asked.

“Fleur and Jasmine. I just have a feeling those two are up to something.”

“Do you now?” Kevin said. “You’re the best Great Grandma in the world, Great Grandma Gee Gee, and I love you, but I think you’re beeing entirely too suspicious. But what do I know?” Then he said, “Good night,” and he went to bed.

I couldn’t help but not to fail to notice that Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Compound Eyes got all Misty-looking, and she said, “Oh my sweet goodness. That’s the first time Kevin’s ever said he loves me.” Then she sniffled and said, “Oh my, look how late it is. I do hope you’ll excuse me, but it’s time for me to call it a Night. Nighty night, Georgie and sweet dreams. Please show yourself out, dear,” then she went to bed, also. 
Geeeeze. How awkward was that? 

Anyway. There are a lot of totally Unanswered Questions about what’s actually going on with the Competition. Hopefully next week, we’ll find out more.
Until then . . . 

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.

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