Escape from Bee Island: evidently, a Hot Season Mystery


How perfect could life possibly bee? It’s not only Monday, my favourite day of the entire week, but it’s a Reasonably Cool Hot Season Day with a bleu sky (I think that’s bleu), the Sun is warm, and there aren’t too many birds around, which as far as I’m concerned is a good thing, probably.

So I was out the other day, and guess who I ran into? . . . ButterCup.
I hadn’t seen her all Warm Season beecause she’s had to do all that Redundant Typing. She looked tired, but then again she actually looked happy for a change - I’m totally and completely sure beeyond any doubt whatsoever that it’s mostly beecause she simply walked off her Job at the Hive’s Redundant Typing Pool. She hated that job.

She told me she’d been transferred to the Hive’s Department of Maps and Dances, Cartography Division, which is strange, since ButterCup’s never really been that good with Maps. (Some bees just aren’t good with Maps, so I hope this Job works out for her.)

Anyway, she told me she’d just gotten a Buzz•O•Gram™ from Fleur de Bee in Paris. It turns out that Fleur decided to take a Sabbatical (which, as Kevin explained to me, is kinda like taking a vacation from what you were doing and instead, going off someplace and doing whatever it is you’ll bee doing... whatever), and has beecome a Contestant on the New Hot Season Season of “Escape from Bee Island: the Hot Season Challenge”.

“She’s going to bee a Contestant?” I asked.

“Apparently,” ButterCup said.

“Why?” I asked.

ButterCup kind of got this strange look on her face, and said, “She told me not to tell anybody why - especially you.”

“But why??” I asked.

“She told me not to tell you that, either,” ButterCup said. “I’m sorry, but there’s no way I’m going to Violate a Confidence. I just won’t do it.”

“I’m not asking you to Violate a Confidence,” I said, “I just wanna know why Fleur’s taking a Sabbatical from her job with French Counter-Intelligence to bee on a Game Show,” I said. “It doesn’t make sense. I know she doesn’t need the Honey, and she’s never been huge on Camping, so... I don’t get it.”

“Too bad,” ButterCup said, “Quite frankly, I’m thinking of beecoming a Contestant, too, so . . . .” Then she just kind of shrugged, and left without finishing her thought.

How frustrating is that?

I’ve decided that I’m going to find out what, exactly, is going on here. I’m going to send a Buzz•O•Gram™ to Fleur and get her to tell me what’s beehind this whole Escape from Bee Island Contestant Thing. It’s a Mystery that must bee Solved.

So I’m gonna go do that. I’ll let everybody know what I find out.

Until then . . .
let’s all bee highly careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature

Happy First Day of the New Hot Season


After undertaking a long series of complex, Astronomical and partially GeoPhysical Calculations, and consulting with my Mostly-Reliable Seasonal Calendar, I'm enthusiastic about letting everybody know that today is the First Day of the New Hot Season. Of course, I've heard that's not true if you live someplace like Australia or whatever, but as far as the Hive is concerned, it's now the Hot Season.

Happy New Hot Season!

Observation #37: Beeing Considerate



I’ve probably mentioned this beefore at some point, but... have you ever noticed that when it comes to just beeing generally considerate, there are some of us who Just Don’t Get It? I have. Take yesterday, for instance.

As I’m sure everybody remembers, it was recently my Birthday, again. A whole bunch of my Beeps sent me Much-Appreciated Happy Birthday Greetings, but nobody ever got ahold of me to tell me when and where my Surprise Birthday Party was gonna bee, so I waited...and waited...and waited. All that day I waited, but I never heard from anybody about that. So, I thought, “I’ll bet my Editor knows where the Party is,” so I buzzed over to his Office. As soon as I walked in, he was at me.

“Do you know what day this is, bee?” he asked me.

“Yes, I do,” I told him, “it’s my Birthday.”

“That may bee,” he said, “but that’s beeside the point. Today is the day that you broke the record for beeing late. You were supposed to bee here, in my Office, 34 days ago. But were you?”

“Well, no, but...” I was about to say.

“Don’t interrupt me,” he said, “that was a Rhetorical Question.”

“I knew that,” I said, “I was gonna give you a Rhetorical Answer,” I told him, but he just glared at me.

“Do you know how utterly Inconsiderate you’ve been lately, bee?”

“Have I?” I asked. Beesides not showing up in his Office earlier than I did, I think I’ve been Highly Considerate, mostly. I mean, when it’s been nice outside, I’ve been Considerate enough to go out and enjoy myself. And when it’s been cold and windy (which it was A LOT so far this Warm Season), I’ve been Considerate enough to stay inside and stay warm so I wouldn’t run the risk of catching Frostbite or having my wings ripped off by a gust of cold wind. I’ve also been Considerate enough to make sure I haven’t missed any Episodes of my Stories on TV, especially after I spent all that time watching every Episode of “Escape from Bee Island, it would have been Unacceptably Inconsiderate of me to miss the Series Finale, especially when they went to all that trouble to make it, right? Right.) I think he was beeing kind of harsh by accusing me, of all bees, of beeing Inconsiderate, so I gave him Non-Rhetorical Answer.

“I’ve been buzzy,” I said (beecause I have been, mostly).

“You’ve been Inconsiderate,” he said again. “Your Beeloved Readers - and our Paid Sponsors...”

“You mean like Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™, those Paid Sponsors?” I asked.

“Exactly,” he buzzed at me, “our Paid Sponsors have not been one bit happy about the fact that you once again disappeared and failed to provide the Valuable Insights and Editorial Commentary on which we have all come to depend. That’s Incredibly Inconsiderate.”

“I didn’t disappear,” I informed him. “I’ve been somewhere this whole time, so I think it’s just unfair and not correct to say that I disap. . .”

“Don’t argue with me,” he started. “There’s no excuse for your repeated Extended Absences. Once again, you’ve been Derelict in your Duties, you’ve disregarded your Contractual Obligations, and this Unacceptable, Inconsiderate Beehaviour has to stop NOW. You had better start showing up to do your job - OR ELSE!”

What was I supposed to say that?

“Fine,” I said, then I asked, “So where’s my Party?” I wanted to know.

“What are you talking about, bee?” he seemed really annoyed.

“My Party. My Surprise Birthday Party. Where is it?”

Georgie wiith his Editor 2

My Editor just glared at me again and buzzed really loudly at me.

“Get out of my Office!”

Even though he never told me where my Party was, I’m guessing he just didn’t wanna spoil the Surprise, so I did that. I left.

On the way back to my Shoe Box, I couldn’t help but think about how Incredibly Inconsiderate it was of everybody to make me spend my entire Birthday without ever finding out about where and when my Surprise Birthday Party was supposed to bee. I mean seriously now . . . does everybody think it would bee Cute and Funny to keep me guessing all day? Well, it’s not. It’s rude - and Highly Inconsiderate.

After it finally got dark (and still no Surprise Party), I decided that I’d put on my pyjamas, grab a bag of Popped Pollen Puffs, and spend the rest of my Birthday watching old Talula Beehead Movies. Just beefore I fell asleep, I thought to myself, “I’ll bet everybody’s working on a Massively Festive Beelated Surprise Happy Birthday Party for me. Planning for such an Important Event takes a lot of time, energy, and resources - and this is the Buzzy Season, after all - so I’m sure that’s what happened. Probably.”

So I’m still patiently waiting for everybody to start beeing Considerate about all this Surprise Party, even if it is Beelated. (Beelated Consideration is better than no Consideration at all, probably.) If I find out when and where it is, I’ll make sure all my Beeps are invited. Until then . . .

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.

GeorgieBee Signature

Wednesday, May 8, 2019


So I got a note from my Editor yesterday. Evidently, he’s highly enthusiastic about seeing me in his Office, first thing tomorrow morning - Or Else.

I just hafta say two things here: 

1) I think we all pretty much know what my Editor’s Or Else’s are worth, don’t we? I’m mostly sure we all remember the Observation I made about that one, right? (Hell, for all I know a whole bunch of my Beeps probably have that one framed and on their wall, like I do.) The fact is, he doesn’t scare me, usually;


bee) I’m not going.

I dunno if anybody else has looked outside lately, but the weather is amazingly horrible. It’s cold. It’s wet. If I’m not mistaken, it’s snowing, though it’s kind of hard to keep your eyelids open so you can even see for sure when you’re out there - not that I have eyelids. I don’t. I don’t know a bee who does, but let’s discuss that some other time. 

As I said, I’m not going to bee going outside again anytime soon, which includes tomorrow, and if possible, the next day beecause the Humans Who Think They Can Predict the Future are saying that it’s not gonna warm up anytime soon. The next two days are off the Market on every level, as far as I’m concerned. I’m sure you’d feel the same way if you were me.

That, of course, brings us to Saturday, and my Editor doesn’t work on Saturdays - or Sundays for that matter. As far as I’m concerned, I’m off the hook at least until next Monday, but I’m thinking I won’t go then, either, beecause, quite frankly, this Not-At-All-Warm-Warm-Season-Weather has kind of removed my desire to do much of anything, particularly to go to my Editor’s Office on an otherwise Could-Bee Delightful Monday Morning. I mean, why would I want to ruin a perfectly good Monday Morning with a meeting with my Editor, for cryin’ out loud, especially if it’s nice out. I wouldn’t. 

So I won’t.

I’m sure that Whatever’s on his Mind can wait.
I’ll bee there when I’ll bee there. So that’s that.

Okay then. 

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there.

GeorgieBee Signature

Observation #36: Customer Surveys



Is it just me? Or does it seem that every time you turn around these days, somebody’s asking you to do a Survey, or an Opinion Poll, or they’re asking for your Valuable Customer Feedback?

As I’m mostly sure you’ll remember, I went out the other day to try to get my Nectarizer fixed. It’s still broken, so I asked my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, if he’d take a look at it.

Kevin’s highly talented when it comes to figuring out machines and stuff, you know, but when I went over to his BootBox, he just said,
“Uncle Georgie, you’re the best Uncle in the world, and I love you, but this Nectarizer has had it. It is beeyond repair.”
“But,” I needed to mention, “I just got that thing. It’s new. I only used it once, then it broke.”
“I am not in the least surprised,” Kevin said, “I have heard that these particular Nectarizers aren’t very well-made. Built-in Obsolescence, you know. It is rumoured that the Snark Brothers have been cutting corners in their newest models, and unfortunately for those in need of a good, efficient Nectarizer, they have discontinued their older, significantly more reliable models. And, of course, it is impossible to get parts for any of the old ones that are left, so. I don’t know what to tell you. Good luck, I guess.”

After what I’ve already been through with this thing, I decided to just forget about it. I’ll hafta try to live without a Nectarizer.

When I got back to my ShoeBox, there was an Urgent Buzz•O•Gram™ stuck to my Door. It was from the Director of Customer Service at the Snark Brothers Repair Palace. He wanted me to visit their Web Site and fill out a Customer Satisfaction Survey, and let them know how pleased I was with my Recent Visit. So I did that. I made sure that I gave them a highly low rating, since they ended up never helping me. At all.

Just as I as clicked on “SUBMIT”, another Message Window suddenly popped up that said, “How did we do?” and which asked if I would take another, Short Survey about what I thought of the Survey I just took. I wasn’t gonna do that one, but beecause they said they valued my Opinion, I knew it was so incredibly important, I did that one, too.

Finally, when I got done with that, I decided to find out if maybee somebody out there has a Used, Older Model Nectarizer in Excellent Condition, so I logged on to BeeFind and did a Seek. Of course, nothing came up but bunch of messages from other bees who were also looking for the same thing. It was highly discouraging.

Beefore I could log off and get back to watching my Stories, an Instant Robot-to-Bee Message popped up, asking me if I found what I was looking for on BeeFind, and if I’d bee interested in taking a short survey about BeeFind’s Seeking Services.
“Did you find what you were looking for?” it asked.
“No,” I answered.
“Do you plan to use BeeFind’s Seeking Services again, and would you recommend it to a friend?”
“Probably,” I said.

I hafta ask: what the hell are all these Surveys about all of a sudden these days? It used to bee that we could just bee a Customer and that would bee that. Not now. Not anymore. Now we hafta spend a bunch of time answering Prying Questions.

It’s like the last time I went out and got some HoneyGlazed Pollen Poppers™. I was just standing there when a bee with a Clipboard came up to me and said, “I see that you’ve recently purchased some HoneyGlazed Pollen Poppers™.”
“Obviously,” I said, beecause I was standing there, holding bag of those things.

Then he asked if I would mind taking part in a Customer Focus Group, and that if I did, they’d give me a dozen of Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™ for free. Well, who wouldn’t say yes to that? Those are so Ummy-Yummy good™. So for the next 87 minutes, about six, other bees and I were a part of a Focus Group. They wanted to know what we thought the role Snack Foods might play in the upcoming Campaign Season. We all agreed that Snack Foods absolutely play a Significant Role in any Fair Election. They seemed satisfied with our Opinion, so they gave us our free Cookies and that was that.

By the way, and speaking of Fair Elections, I don’t remember if I told you that the Hive is electing a new Queen. Again. Queen Jemima (I think that’s her name, there have been so many), is retiring early from her Royal Duties to do Political Commentary for the Bee Network’s coverage of the Vote. Of course the problem is that Her Majestically Enthusiastic Highness is leaving an Unfortunate Vacancy that nobody really knows what to do about. As a result they’re circulating a Public Input Opinion and Feedback Survey to see what everybody thinks we should do about finding an Acting Queen until the Vote is taken. So far, about 20 Candidates have announced their Candidacies, so as you probably guessed, there are a lot of Potential Queen Popularity Polls beeing conducted these days. In fact, I just got one from Rudy Bee, who has decided to run again. (He’s very persistent.)

Seriously now. All these surveys are beeginning to wear thin, aren’t they?

Sorry to interrupt this, but I hear Kevin knocking at my Door. It sounds as if he’s saying he needs to ask me a few, brief questions about our recent visit regarding my Nectarizer, so I gotta go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

GeorgieBee Signature