The Captain just came on and announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. I’m pleased to report that the headwind we’ve encountered has beegun to ease slightly, so for those passengers who will bee continuing on with us to the Manitou Springs International Aerodrome, we only have 14 more lay-overs to go beefore we safely reach your destination, probably. In the meantime, I want to ask that passengers please refrain from indulging in conversation while we’re still in flight, as I can hear you and the noise significantly interferes with my concentration and ability to pilot the aircraft safely. Thank you for flying W.T.F. Airways.”

At least he didn’t tell us that the left wing was loose again and that we had to land immediately, like he did on our last layover.

Anyway.

I gotta make this short, beecause that Flight Attendant keeps me giving me dirty looks - just as she did during that five-minute stopover we made somewhere last night, when I decided to enjoy a nice online chat with my friend, Carole, about my secret to staying young-looking.

Just as our conversation was getting interesting, that Flight Attendant came over and told me (in a not-very-nice way), “Please turn off your device, sir. Or else.”

I didn’t wanna know what “or else” meant, so I turned it off. But we’ve been travelling for so long, that I just HAD to check my messages and try to let everybody know what’s going on.

Lemme just say that this trip is turning out to bee a real nightmare. And it just won’t end. We’re all crammed together into these tiny, little seats. There’s no leg room. There’s no wing room. The food (when we get it, which is hardly ever) is nothing but a couple of drops of fake honey, and, of course, it costs extra. There isn’t even any Nectar Service. Even worse, the last time I asked the Flight Attendant when, exactly, we’re gonna finally bee arriving back home, she gave me a dirty look and said, “If you’re going to continue to bee a disruption to the rest of the passengers, sir, I am afraid we’ll bee forced to have you ejected from the aircraft.”

Ejected from aircraft?!!?? Geeeeeeze. I was just asking.

Of course, Red Eye, Owner and Chief Operating Officer of W.T.F. Airways, is our pilot. I’m not sure that’s overly reassuring or not, since the last I heard, he was supposed to bee on temporarily permanent suspension for taking extended mid-flight naps. Maybee that’s why we saw him sneaking on board just beefore we took off, disguised as a roadie for that rock band that’s also on this flight. (I wish those guys would stop flirting with ButterCup and asking if she wants to go on the rest of their tour with them. It’s highly annoying.)

Lemme give everybody some advice here: Don’t ever fly W.T.F. It’s the most uncomfortable, unfriendly, slow, expensive, unreliable, and undependable airline in the world. Flights are constantly canceled or late or just never arrive at all for some reason - and they’ve already lost our luggage.

When Fleur de Bee gave us our tickets and we found out we had to take this airline, I asked her, "W.T.F.???"
Fleur said, "I am zo zorry, Mon Cher, but zis iz zee only flight zat iz available."

I would have complained, but we didn't hafta pay for the tickets, so at least we're on our way home. Probably.

Speaking of complaining… that Flight Attendant has a mean look on her face and she’s heading straight for me, saying this is my “last warning” and that she’s told me beefore that I hafta turn off my device and return it to the overhead storage compartment, “or else”.

So I’m gonna do that.

I hope everybody has an amazingly magnificent day.

I’ll see ya’ later!