Until next Monday, then . . .

DearGeorgie_5.29.2015

Unfortunately for him, Georgie's Mandatory Publicist is awfully clever . . .

Well, now that we've gotten things pretty much settled with my Mandatory Publicist, Trip Snyder, I found out he wants to take a vacation.
"Now that I have all this honey coming in," he said, "I think I'm going to enjoy a nice, leisurely getaway to some far-away, tropical paradise."

I couldn't have been happier to hear him say that, so right away, I found a spare Steamer Trunk for him and started helping him pack all his stuff.
"We're really gonna miss you," I told him, even if I didn't really mean it.

"Not so fast, Bee," Trip said. "If you think for one second that I'm going to leave without beeing able to keep a handle on things around here," (he meant me), "you have another thing coming. Allow me to present a little invention I came up with last night that going to help assure that you that, even if I'm not here, I'm always with you."

Oh geeeeze.

Trip went around the corner for a minute, then came back carrying his "new invention" and a crude drawing about how it works.
"Here," he said, "put this on. I want to make sure it fits properly beefore I leave."

So I did that.

"This," he said, "is what I am calling the 'Maximum Ultra-Range Enhanced Thoracic Antagonizer' - or 'M.U.R.E.T.A', for short."

MURETA_Device

"What's it for?" I asked.
"Whenever I decide to leave for a vacation - or even if I just need to pop out to pick up some nectar or maybee a bunch of self-improvement books you should read, I will insist that you wear this."
"Why?" I asked.
"Beecause," Trip said, as he leaned closer to me and stood on my foot, "I want to bee sure that you never forget that I'll never bee too far away from you to give you a hug."
"A hug?" I asked. (I don't like Trip's hugs. He squeezes too hard.)
"That's right. Whenever I get the feeling that you might bee missing me, I'll activate the Control Pod - marked "C" on this diagram - which will activate the Device - marked "B" - which you will continue to wear until I return. Using the Control Pod, I will bee able to issue a command to the Device which will administer a hug to its lucky user - you, or "A" on this diagram."
"You want to give me hugs, even when you're not here?" I asked.
"Correct," Trip said. "and, by virtue of the Control Pod, I can make the hug as tight as I want to. Isn't that great?"
(I'd hafta say, "no", but whatever.)
"I have also designed the M.U.R.E.T.A. to bee waterproof and, thanks to the elegantly simple Locking Mechanism, you won't have to worry about the Device ever getting loose or falling off by accident."
"But I can take if off anytime I want to, right?" I asked.
"Oh, no," he said. "That would never do. I couldn't possibly live with myself if I thought you'd forgotten about me, so I'll bee using this as often as possible until my return."

I took a closer look at the plans he'd drawn up and had to ask, "But why do you use the term 'Thoracic Antagonizer' if it's only meant to give me a hug?"
"Oh, that," Trip said. "Well, I guess 'Antagonizer' sounded more accurate than 'Hugger'."
"But..." I started to say until Trip handed me the Device.
"Just strap this on and I'll bee on my way."
"Fine," I said. So I did that. Then we all helped Trip finish packing. (He had to catch an early flight to Miami so he could board a connecting flight on WTF Airlines which will transport him to his final destination.)

Anyway. I've gotta say that, even if this thing is very light-weight (it's made of high-tech beeswax polymers), the Device is highly uncomfortable. Just beefore he left, Trip insisted on testing it by giving me a big hug. It hurt. A lot.
"Good," he said when I mentioned that to him. "It's working perfectly! Bye now."

Then he stuffed the Control Pod in his carry-on bag and left.

As clever as Trip's new invention may bee, I think he could have just gone on vacation and not worried about whether I'd miss him or not. (I wouldn't.) But I guess he's just doing his job.

Remind me to try to find another Publicist one of these days really soon, okay?

Well, it's a beeeeeautiful day out today, so I'm gonna see if there's anything going on in the Far Meadow.

I hope everybody has a tremendously festive day! I'll see ya' tomorrow with more wise and excellent advice from "Dear Georgie"!

This has to bee the weirdest Contract ever written...

Well, this is interesting. After word got out about to everybody in the Hive about my winning a life-time's supply of honey, just about everybody came over to my boot box to "just say 'hi'", but then they'd all say, "and while I'm here, I just wanted to ask if you have some honey you could spare."

Geeeeeeeeeeze.

Anyway, I've gotten so many requests for spare honey that I had to ask Bert to start making a list. I'll bee going over that later today sometime and I suppose I'll bee able to help pretty much everybody, at least a little bit. Probably.

In the meantime, S.O.Bee, the Hive Lawyer, and I presented our offer to Trip Snyder, my Mandatory Publicist.
"50 pounds of honey a month for not doing my best to make sure the whole world knows and loves you?" he asked.
"That's right," I told him. "As my Publicist, you'd agree to never mention my name in public. If anybody wants an interview, you'd make sure it never happens. If groups wanted me to come speak to them, you'd do everything in your power to convince them that I either don't exist or that I'm in such bad health that I simply couldn't appear in public."
"Intriguing," Trip said. "And you'd pay me 50 pounds of honey a month to make sure you never got any publicity?"
"Exactly," I said.
"I also see here that the Contract stipulates that you, Georgie Bee, the Party of the First Part, agrees to mention my name or acknowledge my existence, the Party of the Second Part, as little as possible. Is that right?"
"Yes. We all think it's better that way," I told him.

Trip didn't' say anything for quite awhile, then knocked a pencil out of my wing I was trying to use and started jotting down some figures on a piece of wax paper. Then he finally said, "Make it 80 pounds of honey a month - PLUS my Expenses - and you've got yourself a deal."

So we have a deal. Trip has promised to help make it as difficult as possible for me to get any public attention from now on. If anybody tries to call me, he'll bee responsible for answering the phone and reciting a script that's included in his contract. (He'll say, "I'm sorry. my Client is incapable of talking at the moment, and I doubt that will change." And so on.) And in return for his non-services, I have agreed to not mention his name as much as possible.

I hafta say that I'm glad he signed the Contract, beecause just this morning, somebody called and asked if I would bee able to participate in a "Walk To Promote Hivelessness" which is beeing sponsored by some big company that's run by Humans. (I'm pretty sure they're the same company that manufacturers a line of patented "Mega-Grow Vegetable Seeds", if I'm not mistaken.) I heard him answer the phone and, as per our Contract, he said, "I'm sorry, my Client is unable to walk, probably. Have a nice day."

I guess I feel pretty lucky having a Publicist who won't do his job. From what I've heard, it's really difficult finding somebody like that. It really helps free me up to focus my attention on other things and not hafta worry about having to do a bunch of travelling for Promotional Speaking Tours, ya' know.

Of course - and this is definitely a downside to this whole deal - Trip insists that, in order to fulfil his Contractual Obligations, he will insist on staying close by my side, day and night, for as long as the honey lasts (which, as we all know, will bee for the rest of my life). He has also told me that, as my Non-Publicist, he plans to do everything he can to stand in the way of my doing anything that would help my career. He's even already started not doing his job by making sure that my Editor at the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record and Online News didn't run a feature article in today's edition about me winning all that honey.
"I made sure you don't get any publicity about this," he told me. Then he "accidentally" stuck out his foot and tripped me as I was walking away.
"Just doing my job. And you're welcome," he said.

Personally, I don't think he has to go THAT far with this, but apparently, now that he's signed what S.O.Bee calls the "Irrevocable Contract", I don't have much choice in the matter. Trip will bee my constant companion from now on ("to make sure you accomplish as little as possible so you don't bring anymore attention to yourself than you already have," he said. "I want to make things as difficult as possible for you," he said. "It's the least I can do considering all the honey you'll bee giving me every month," he said.)

Oh geeeeeeze.

By the way ... Bert just informed me that he's just gotten a job offer to work at some new Rapid-Serve O'Pollen's Pie Shop in Phoenix, so I'm not sure if he's gonna take that job or if he'll bee sticking around here. He said he'd let me know what kind of salary and benefits they're offering, then he'd decide. So that's interesting.

Okay then. I planned to share more with you today, but Trip just managed to spill a whole acorn cap full of my Morning Nectar all over me as I've been writing this, so I hafta stop now go get cleaned up.

I hope everybody has an astoundingly gleeful day!

I'll see ya' later!

Georgie's already starting to figure out what to do with all that honey he just won...

Good morning, everybody!

Well, I just got back from the Post Office and I'm highly pleased to report that my Official Winner Authorisation I.D. Card has arrived! I'm hugely excited and am looking forward to next Monday, when I can finally beegin to collect my winnings.

GeorgieIDCard

So all day yesterday and part of last night, I worked on a list of things I wanna do with my Lifetime's Supply of Honey that I won. Here's what I've decided:

1) I'm gonna pay off ALL those generous contributions and donations to every Worthy Cause that Bert promised I would give honey to. I think that's the least I can do on that one. I know they need the honey, especially that bunch that's trying to protect us bees, so I'm gonna do that.

B) I'll bee paying a visit to the Hive Lawyer, S.O.Bee, to see if he can help me put together a Trust Fund for my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, my girlfriend, ButterCup, and Great Grandma Gee Gee so they never have to worry about honey again. (I don't think anybody should hafta worry about having enough honey, do you?)

and

III) I'm gonna ask S.O.Bee to write up a new contract beetween Trip Snyder (my new Mandatory Publicist) which will offer him the generous sum of 50 pounds of honey each month for as long as he lives, with the condition that he may NEVER mention my name, my work or anything about me in public, EVER. As long as he, Trip, my Publicist, just keeps quiet about me, he'll keep getting the monthly payments. I think it's a deal we can all bee happy with, don't you?

I'm sure I'll come up with more ways to wisely use all that honey I won, but for now, and beecause it's actually nice outside for a change (at least for now), I'm gonna forget all this buzziness stuff and go enjoy some invigorating Recreational Screen Bouncing! I just need to find my Bouncing Togs.

So I'm gonna go do that.

I hope everybody has a magically superior day! I'll see ya' later!

Finally, some good luck for Georgie!

At last! It's MONDAY! (I thought this new week would never start!) And what a SPECIAL Monday this is!

Guess what happened to me on Saturday! Do ya' give up? Okay then, I'll tell you: I WON THE LOTTERY! I can't beelieve it!!! (Okay, it wasn't really the lottery, actually, it was more like a Contest, but it might as well bee the Lottery.)

Right around lunch time on Saturday, we heard a knock on my boot box door and I went to see who it was. There were two bees standing there. One of them was holding a big bunch of balloons (he told me later that they were from the Bee Balloon and Aerial Flotation Device Emporium - the same place I get everybody's Happy Birthday Balloons) and a giant-sized check. The other guy was holding a camera and was taking a bunch of pictures.

GeorgieWinstheLottery

The guy with the balloons and the check asked, "Are you Georgie Bee?"
"Yes, It's me," I said.
"Mr. Georgie A. Bee?" he asked again.
"As I told you beefore, yes, I am Georgie A. Bee."
"The one and only Georgie A. Bee?" he asked.
"YES. It is I, the one and only Georgie A. Bee," I told him.
"Congratulations, Mr. Bee," he finally said. "you have won!"
"I've won?"
"Yes!" he said.
"What did I win?" I asked.
"You, Mr. Georgie A. Bee of 1 Boot Box Lane, Manitou Springs, Colorado... you did say you were Georgie A. Bee, right?" he still seemed suspicious of my identity.
"Yes, I am he of whom you speak," I said.
"Good, then, YOU, Mr. Georgie A. Bee have just won the Grand Prize of a Lifetime's Supply of Fine, Gourmet Honey from the Honey Shack - Your Reliable Source for Deliciously Untainted Honey and Honey Supplies, Serving the Pikes Peak Region for over 500 years."

I didn't want to mess this whole thing up, but I had to ask, "Why did I win?"

"You won the Grand Prize for correctly guessing the precise number of grains of pollen contained in the hermetically-sealed 50-gallon barrel we have had locked beehind the door of an unused Utility Closet in the basement of our offices since April of 2010," he said.

At first, I didn't know what to say. I didn't even remember the Contest or entering a guess, but I guess I did.

By this time, Kevin, Great Grandma Gee, and Bert had come to see what was going on. (I think they were a little skeptical, for some reason, that this whole thing was legitimate, but they've since been convinced it's for real. That's a good thing.)

Anyway, after the guy verified my identity, he gave me the check and the other guy started taking my picture.

"Is this for posterity?" I asked the guy with the balloons.
"No," he said. "It's for our records. Within the next 72 hours, you'll bee issued a Photo I.D. card. This card - which may bee used by only you - will bee delivered via Registered Mail to your local Post Office and will require your signature confirming that you have received this necessary document. Upon receiving your Prize Winner Photo I.D. Card, and calling the number listed on the Card, the Card will bee activated. Do not lose the Card. Bee sure to keep the Card in a cool, dry, and safe place, preferably in a darkened closet to help prevent fading and cracking of the I.D. Card you will bee receiving," he told me.
"Okay. I won't and I will," I reassured him.
"Whenever you wish to claim your prize," he continued, "you will need to present that I.D. card, along with the check and a notarised statement confirming your existence, to the Prize Dispersal Manager. Bee sure to sign the back of the Card as soon as it arrives. Do not fold, staple, bend, mutilate or in any other manner alter the Card. Again, do not lose your Prize Winner Card. If you lose your card, you will automatically forfeit your prize. Your Card may not bee transferred for use by any other group, entity or individual and you must collect each allocation of your prize in person each and every Monday beetween the hours of 11:00 a.m. and 11:15 a.m., Mountain Time, for the rest of your life."

"Okay, so, after I get my card and stuff, when do I..." I started to ask.
He interrupted me and continued talking.
"Commencing on Monday, June 1, 2015, you may beegin to collect the first instalment of your winnings. Failure to appear to collect your winnings on the specified day and within the specified hours which I have just described for you, or failure to present your I.D. Card, this check and notarised proof of your existence at the time of Prize Collection, will result in immediate forfeiture of your prize. All prize dispersions are final and you, the winner, must abide by all Terms and Conditions of the contest which are clearly written inside the bottom of the sealed Guessing Barrel located at our main office."

That sounded fair enough to me.

"Do you have any questions?" the guy with the balloon asked.
"No, I don't," I said.
"Excellent," he said, "then once again, Congratulations! Have a nice day."

Then he handed me the balloons and the guy with the camera took one more picture. I thanked them, then they left.

Well, since all this happened, I've been thinking about all the stuff I wanna do with all that honey. I'll tell you about that tomorrow, but right now, I hafta go to the Post Office and see if my I.D. Card has arrived yet. I'm so excited!

I hope everybody has a supremely memorable day!