31 May 2015
Today's excellent advice from "Dear Georgie"...
05/06/15 00:12
Ya' know. Maybee I should start thinking about accepting pollen for my advice and not just honey. It wouldn't leak as much.
Anyway... here's this week's Dear Georgie letter!
I hope everybody has a sparkiingly festive weekend! I'll see ya' on Monday!
Anyway... here's this week's Dear Georgie letter!
I hope everybody has a sparkiingly festive weekend! I'll see ya' on Monday!
Georgie and Rudy start booking the talent for their big production ...
04/06/15 09:40
So, last night, Rudy buzzed over after he got off of work to start putting together the stage production of "The Bee Society: The Musical". He was kinda worn out after a long, hot day in the Far Meadow, so he didn't stick around very long, but at least we got some things figured out.
"The very firtht thing we need for our muthical ith muthic," he said.
"Very true," I agreed. "it wouldn't bee a Musical without music."
"Exthactly," he said. "tho, I have jotted down a litht of muthicianth we need to conthider including in the thow."
He gave me the list and I noticed that, of course, Ultra Violet (along with Flutter and Slam, her backup Dance and Percussion Troupe) was at the top. He also had Blue Z Bee and his band, "Four Bees and a Wasp", the always-popular and very famous Zambeezi ("I'm thinking he and Ultra Violet might bee able to collaborate on compothing thome of the muthic," he said), and had included a few names I didn't recognise.
"Who is this Beetsa Beetsa you included here?" I had to know.
"You're not familiar with Beetha Beetha?"
"No," I said.
After he finished dramatically expressing his disbeelief that I had never heard of Beetsa Beetsa, Rudy said, "My dear bee, Beetha Beetha ith only the motht admired and rethpected performer of Thamba Muthic who hath ever grathed a thage."
"Samba music?" I asked.
"Yeth," Rudy told me, "I am very thurprithed you've never heard of him. He hath a great deal of exthperienth with Muthicalth. He uthed to have an act where he performed with a quartet that wath known ath 'Dogth Over The Moon' beefore he thplit off from them and beecame famouth ath a tholo act."
"Dogs Over The Moon? I've heard of them! I think everybody's heard of them," I said. "Wasn't he the Lead Singer in that group? And wasn't he in the news awhile back for beeing injured in an improperly-planned Stage Jump?"
"Yeth," Rudy said. "He ended up in the hothpital for about three month after the audienth didn't realith they we're thuppothed to break hith fall ath he leaped off the thtage at the end of his thong, 'I'll Bee There When You Fall'."
"Kind of ironic, when you think about it," I commented.
"Yeth, it wath. But he'th better now and when I thpoke to hith agent yethderday, he wath thure we would bee able to book him for the thow."
"That's great," I said. "I can't beelieve we're getting such a huge star to bee in our production."
"It'th all about who you know in thith buthineth," Rudy said.
Anyway, Rudy left the list with me and asked if I'd make sure everybody on the list signed a contract to do the show, then he told me he was tired and needed to go get some rest beefore he had to deal with another, difficult day's worth of Pollen Gathering.
"I need to go get thome thleep. I'm exthauthted," he said, "tho I'll thee you later."
Then he left.
Today, I'm gonna finish going over the list for the musical talent, make sure they've all signed the necessary contracts and Waivers of Liability, then I'm gonna spend the rest of the day enjoying the rest of the day.
I hope everybody has an unprecedentedly fun day! I'll bee back tomorrow with this week's "Dear Georgie" letter! I'll see ya' then!
"The very firtht thing we need for our muthical ith muthic," he said.
"Very true," I agreed. "it wouldn't bee a Musical without music."
"Exthactly," he said. "tho, I have jotted down a litht of muthicianth we need to conthider including in the thow."
He gave me the list and I noticed that, of course, Ultra Violet (along with Flutter and Slam, her backup Dance and Percussion Troupe) was at the top. He also had Blue Z Bee and his band, "Four Bees and a Wasp", the always-popular and very famous Zambeezi ("I'm thinking he and Ultra Violet might bee able to collaborate on compothing thome of the muthic," he said), and had included a few names I didn't recognise.
"Who is this Beetsa Beetsa you included here?" I had to know.
"You're not familiar with Beetha Beetha?"
"No," I said.
After he finished dramatically expressing his disbeelief that I had never heard of Beetsa Beetsa, Rudy said, "My dear bee, Beetha Beetha ith only the motht admired and rethpected performer of Thamba Muthic who hath ever grathed a thage."
"Samba music?" I asked.
"Yeth," Rudy told me, "I am very thurprithed you've never heard of him. He hath a great deal of exthperienth with Muthicalth. He uthed to have an act where he performed with a quartet that wath known ath 'Dogth Over The Moon' beefore he thplit off from them and beecame famouth ath a tholo act."
"Dogs Over The Moon? I've heard of them! I think everybody's heard of them," I said. "Wasn't he the Lead Singer in that group? And wasn't he in the news awhile back for beeing injured in an improperly-planned Stage Jump?"
"Yeth," Rudy said. "He ended up in the hothpital for about three month after the audienth didn't realith they we're thuppothed to break hith fall ath he leaped off the thtage at the end of his thong, 'I'll Bee There When You Fall'."
"Kind of ironic, when you think about it," I commented.
"Yeth, it wath. But he'th better now and when I thpoke to hith agent yethderday, he wath thure we would bee able to book him for the thow."
"That's great," I said. "I can't beelieve we're getting such a huge star to bee in our production."
"It'th all about who you know in thith buthineth," Rudy said.
Anyway, Rudy left the list with me and asked if I'd make sure everybody on the list signed a contract to do the show, then he told me he was tired and needed to go get some rest beefore he had to deal with another, difficult day's worth of Pollen Gathering.
"I need to go get thome thleep. I'm exthauthted," he said, "tho I'll thee you later."
Then he left.
Today, I'm gonna finish going over the list for the musical talent, make sure they've all signed the necessary contracts and Waivers of Liability, then I'm gonna spend the rest of the day enjoying the rest of the day.
I hope everybody has an unprecedentedly fun day! I'll bee back tomorrow with this week's "Dear Georgie" letter! I'll see ya' then!
How exciting! Rudy and Georgie are planning something spectacular! . . .
03/06/15 11:03
Everybody should have known this was coming, but ... Queen Bee just issued a Royal Proclamation, declaring today as "Pollen Gathering and Inventory Enhancement Day". Since it rained every day last month and was super wet and chilly, the Hive didn't get much work done. But yesterday, it suddenly felt like the Hot Season out, so the Old Girl is insisting that everybody has to work overtime to make up what she calls the Pollen Collection and Inventory Deficit.
Geeeeeeze. I'm glad I don't live (or work) in the Hive. It's such a beeatiful day out that it would bee a shame to waste it working outside.
By the way, after news got around yesterday that I had collected my Prize Honey, Rudy buzzed over and asked if I might consider financing a stage production he'd like to do over the Hot Season.
"Sure," I said, "why not? As long as you include me and name me as Executive Producer on the promotional materials, I'll take care of the cost on that."
"Wonderful!" Rudy said. "I am THO PLEATHED you're willing to help!"
"Not a problem," I said. "What is the production all about?"
"I have dithided to produth a gala thtage show bathed on that book you wrote. I'm calling it 'The Bee Thothiety: The Muthical'."
"The Bee Society, the Musical?" I asked, "based on my first book? Really?"
"YETH!" he said. "aren't you EXTHITED?"
"Absolutely," I told him. "I'm very excited. I can't wait to get started!"
So tonight, after Rudy gets off work, he's gonna come over and we're gonna start putting together plans for what promises to bee an unforgettable extravaganza of music and dancing.
Ya' know, I had always secretly hoped my first book would bee made into a Musical Stage Production. This is gonna bee great fun!
Okay then. As I said, it's another nice day out, so I'm gonna see if Kevin, my Illegitimate Nephew and Great Grandma Gee Gee wanna go have a picnic in the Far Meadow with me today.
I hope everybody has an exceedingly superlative day!
I'll see ya' later!
Geeeeeeze. I'm glad I don't live (or work) in the Hive. It's such a beeatiful day out that it would bee a shame to waste it working outside.
By the way, after news got around yesterday that I had collected my Prize Honey, Rudy buzzed over and asked if I might consider financing a stage production he'd like to do over the Hot Season.
"Sure," I said, "why not? As long as you include me and name me as Executive Producer on the promotional materials, I'll take care of the cost on that."
"Wonderful!" Rudy said. "I am THO PLEATHED you're willing to help!"
"Not a problem," I said. "What is the production all about?"
"I have dithided to produth a gala thtage show bathed on that book you wrote. I'm calling it 'The Bee Thothiety: The Muthical'."
"The Bee Society, the Musical?" I asked, "based on my first book? Really?"
"YETH!" he said. "aren't you EXTHITED?"
"Absolutely," I told him. "I'm very excited. I can't wait to get started!"
So tonight, after Rudy gets off work, he's gonna come over and we're gonna start putting together plans for what promises to bee an unforgettable extravaganza of music and dancing.
Ya' know, I had always secretly hoped my first book would bee made into a Musical Stage Production. This is gonna bee great fun!
Okay then. As I said, it's another nice day out, so I'm gonna see if Kevin, my Illegitimate Nephew and Great Grandma Gee Gee wanna go have a picnic in the Far Meadow with me today.
I hope everybody has an exceedingly superlative day!
I'll see ya' later!
Georgie Picks Up His Prize!
02/06/15 07:09
Yeah, well. It wasn’t easy, but I managed to collect my Prize of what I consider to bee a Life-Time Supply of honey.
I went over to the Honey Dispersal Office yesterday with all my documents and you know what happened? Lemme tell ya’.
I showed up, all ready to claim the first part of my prize of a life-time’s supply of honey. I had my Authorisation I.D. I had that Huge Check they gave me, and I had proof of my existence. All I really needed to know was how to arrange delivery of my prize.
“Delivery?” the guy said.
“Of course,” I said, “you wouldn’t expect me to carry a whole life-time’s supply of honey home by myself, now would you?”
“Yes. Absolutely that’s what we expect,” the guy said, then he looked at me funny and asked, “Didn’t you read the back of your Authorisation Card?”
“You mean, all that teeny tiny printing that you hafta have a microscope to read? That stuff?”
“Yes,” the guy said. “If you had taken the time to read the Prize Winner’s Agreement - which you accepted when you entered the Contest - it says… well, I’ll quote it for you: ‘Winning Contestant is solely responsible for the collection and transport of all prize winnings,’” he paused, looked at me said, “that’s the honey in question here,” then he continued.
“ ‘ At the time of filing the initial claim for the Prize,’ - the honey,” he said, “ ‘ the Winner must bee present…’”
“I am,” I said.
“‘…and, upon providing the necessary documentation, including a Certified Proof of Existence…’ Your proof of existence is Certified, right?”
“Of course,” I told the guy. He looked over my Certificate and kinda nodded.
“Fine,” he continued. “ ‘ the Prize Sponsor…’- that’s us,” he said, “ ‘will determine the precise quantities of honey to bee awarded the the Prize winner, at which time,” then he started talking really loudly and slowly.
“ ‘THE PRIZE WINNER WILL BEE RESPONSIBLE FOR TRANSPORT HIS OR HER WINNINGS TO THE LOCATION OF HIS OR HER CHOOSING, NO LATER THAN’,” then he stopped at looked at a clock on the wall, “ ‘5 P.M. ON THE DAY THE PRIZE IS CLAIMED.’ Etc., etc., etc.”
“Oh geeeeeeze,”I said to the guy. “That only gives me a couple of hours to figure this out.”
“Correct,” the guy said. “Now, all we need to do is figure out how much honey you’ll bee responsible for transporting. Will a pound do it?”
“Well,” I said. “that’s easy. I won a Life-Time Supply, so I was thinking it’s gonna hafta bee a lot more.”
“So…,” the guy said, “how much honey is ‘a lot more’, as you put it? Would two pounds get you through to the End? Are you by any chance in ill-health?”
“No,” I said, “as you should bee able to see for yourself, I’m perfectly fine, well, except for this…”
“So, you expect to live for how long?” the guy asked.
I guess I hadn’t thought of that.
“I dunno,” I told the guy. “Another hundred years? Maybee two?”
“I’m trying to bee serious here with you - and by the way, congratulations. How old did you say you are?”
“I’m almost 39,” I told the guy.
“Ooohhhkay then. You’re 39 days old, so…”
“No. 39 yea . . . “ but beefore I could add the “years” part, he interrupted me, so I decided to not say anything.
“So,” he continued, as he pulled out a calculator, “the average bee of your height and weight and relative physical condition, and, according to the Actuarial Tables we have beefore us, your life expectancy should bee right around… do you smoke?” he paused.
“Of course not. Do you?”
“This isn’t about me, is it?”
“No,” I said, and he continued.
“So that adds a few days, I guess. Let’s just say,” and he started clicking away on the calculator, “that you have another …let’s see… 49 minus 39 … Let’s say you have ten days left here. Okay then. How much honey do you need for the next ten days?”
“Ten days? You think I only have ten days left to live? Is that what you’re saying?” I asked the guy.
“Actuarial Tables don’t lie, bee” the guy said.
“Yes, but…” I started to say something about my not beeing your average bee, but I figured he wouldn’t beelieve me.
“I eat a lot of honey,” I said. “We’re talking a LOT of honey here,” I said.
“Just how much honey are we talking about?” he asked.
Really fast, I made up a convincing-sounding amount of honey.
“If I had to guess, I’d say I probably eat 75-80 pounds of honey a day. We’re talking massive amounts of honey here.”
“I’ll say,” the guy said.”I’m surprised you’re not significantly larger than you are,” he said.
“I have a high metabolism,” I told him. “Beesides, I do expect to live a lot longer than you think I will, so why don’t I just stop by every Monday for the rest of my life and pick up whatever I want?”
“You mean, have it delivered,” the guy said.
“Right. Delivered,” I said.
“You really didn’t read the back of your card at all, did you?”
“No,” I said.
“No,” he said. “You can’t. You must claim your COMPLETE Prize Winnings by the close of buzziness today. Beefore 5:00 p.m. and beefore I hafta go back to that crowded Hive and try to get some sleep for a change. It’s almost impossible to sleep in there with all that snoring.”
“I wouldn’t know,” I told the guy.
To make a long story short, I quickly calculated how much honey I would really need to pay off all those Contributions to Good Causes, make sure I could continue to support Kevin, Great Grandma Gee Gee, Buttercup and me in the lifestyle to which we’ve beecome accustomed, and still maybee have a little left over to help a few of my friends. I asked the guy if I could borrow his calculator. So I did that.
After some basic adding, subtracting and multiplying, I said, “I will require a total of 716,873 pounds of honey. But let’s just round it up to an even 750,000, okay?”
“Not okay,” the guy said. “That’s a lot of honey. I’d say you’re about 716,871 pounds too high on that figure. I also think you’re seriously over-estimating your lifespan here.”
“As I said,” I said, “I eat a lot of honey.”
“Yes, but…” he started to say.
“So, I’ll bee back beefore 5:00 today with a truck and some friends,” I said.
The guy looked a little shocked, but he eventually shrugged and said, “Whatever. It isn’t coming out of MY paycheque, after all. 716,873 pounds it is.” Then he told me to “sign here”, so I did that.
“Enjoy your honey,” the guy said. “While you can.”
I plan to do that, too.
To make a long story short, I called a local Honey Transport Service - “Six Bees and Three Trucks”, and we spent the rest of the day yesterday transporting honey. A lot of it. It took several trips.
Also, I have put all that honey in a very safe place, just in case you’re wondering about that.
Everything turned out just fine. I never hafta worry about honey again and I get to spend the rest of today just doing some Recreational Screen Bouncing.
So I’m gonna go do that.
I hope everybody has a mystifyingly pleasant day!
I’ll see ya’ later!
I went over to the Honey Dispersal Office yesterday with all my documents and you know what happened? Lemme tell ya’.
I showed up, all ready to claim the first part of my prize of a life-time’s supply of honey. I had my Authorisation I.D. I had that Huge Check they gave me, and I had proof of my existence. All I really needed to know was how to arrange delivery of my prize.
“Delivery?” the guy said.
“Of course,” I said, “you wouldn’t expect me to carry a whole life-time’s supply of honey home by myself, now would you?”
“Yes. Absolutely that’s what we expect,” the guy said, then he looked at me funny and asked, “Didn’t you read the back of your Authorisation Card?”
“You mean, all that teeny tiny printing that you hafta have a microscope to read? That stuff?”
“Yes,” the guy said. “If you had taken the time to read the Prize Winner’s Agreement - which you accepted when you entered the Contest - it says… well, I’ll quote it for you: ‘Winning Contestant is solely responsible for the collection and transport of all prize winnings,’” he paused, looked at me said, “that’s the honey in question here,” then he continued.
“ ‘ At the time of filing the initial claim for the Prize,’ - the honey,” he said, “ ‘ the Winner must bee present…’”
“I am,” I said.
“‘…and, upon providing the necessary documentation, including a Certified Proof of Existence…’ Your proof of existence is Certified, right?”
“Of course,” I told the guy. He looked over my Certificate and kinda nodded.
“Fine,” he continued. “ ‘ the Prize Sponsor…’- that’s us,” he said, “ ‘will determine the precise quantities of honey to bee awarded the the Prize winner, at which time,” then he started talking really loudly and slowly.
“ ‘THE PRIZE WINNER WILL BEE RESPONSIBLE FOR TRANSPORT HIS OR HER WINNINGS TO THE LOCATION OF HIS OR HER CHOOSING, NO LATER THAN’,” then he stopped at looked at a clock on the wall, “ ‘5 P.M. ON THE DAY THE PRIZE IS CLAIMED.’ Etc., etc., etc.”
“Oh geeeeeeze,”I said to the guy. “That only gives me a couple of hours to figure this out.”
“Correct,” the guy said. “Now, all we need to do is figure out how much honey you’ll bee responsible for transporting. Will a pound do it?”
“Well,” I said. “that’s easy. I won a Life-Time Supply, so I was thinking it’s gonna hafta bee a lot more.”
“So…,” the guy said, “how much honey is ‘a lot more’, as you put it? Would two pounds get you through to the End? Are you by any chance in ill-health?”
“No,” I said, “as you should bee able to see for yourself, I’m perfectly fine, well, except for this…”
“So, you expect to live for how long?” the guy asked.
I guess I hadn’t thought of that.
“I dunno,” I told the guy. “Another hundred years? Maybee two?”
“I’m trying to bee serious here with you - and by the way, congratulations. How old did you say you are?”
“I’m almost 39,” I told the guy.
“Ooohhhkay then. You’re 39 days old, so…”
“No. 39 yea . . . “ but beefore I could add the “years” part, he interrupted me, so I decided to not say anything.
“So,” he continued, as he pulled out a calculator, “the average bee of your height and weight and relative physical condition, and, according to the Actuarial Tables we have beefore us, your life expectancy should bee right around… do you smoke?” he paused.
“Of course not. Do you?”
“This isn’t about me, is it?”
“No,” I said, and he continued.
“So that adds a few days, I guess. Let’s just say,” and he started clicking away on the calculator, “that you have another …let’s see… 49 minus 39 … Let’s say you have ten days left here. Okay then. How much honey do you need for the next ten days?”
“Ten days? You think I only have ten days left to live? Is that what you’re saying?” I asked the guy.
“Actuarial Tables don’t lie, bee” the guy said.
“Yes, but…” I started to say something about my not beeing your average bee, but I figured he wouldn’t beelieve me.
“I eat a lot of honey,” I said. “We’re talking a LOT of honey here,” I said.
“Just how much honey are we talking about?” he asked.
Really fast, I made up a convincing-sounding amount of honey.
“If I had to guess, I’d say I probably eat 75-80 pounds of honey a day. We’re talking massive amounts of honey here.”
“I’ll say,” the guy said.”I’m surprised you’re not significantly larger than you are,” he said.
“I have a high metabolism,” I told him. “Beesides, I do expect to live a lot longer than you think I will, so why don’t I just stop by every Monday for the rest of my life and pick up whatever I want?”
“You mean, have it delivered,” the guy said.
“Right. Delivered,” I said.
“You really didn’t read the back of your card at all, did you?”
“No,” I said.
“No,” he said. “You can’t. You must claim your COMPLETE Prize Winnings by the close of buzziness today. Beefore 5:00 p.m. and beefore I hafta go back to that crowded Hive and try to get some sleep for a change. It’s almost impossible to sleep in there with all that snoring.”
“I wouldn’t know,” I told the guy.
To make a long story short, I quickly calculated how much honey I would really need to pay off all those Contributions to Good Causes, make sure I could continue to support Kevin, Great Grandma Gee Gee, Buttercup and me in the lifestyle to which we’ve beecome accustomed, and still maybee have a little left over to help a few of my friends. I asked the guy if I could borrow his calculator. So I did that.
After some basic adding, subtracting and multiplying, I said, “I will require a total of 716,873 pounds of honey. But let’s just round it up to an even 750,000, okay?”
“Not okay,” the guy said. “That’s a lot of honey. I’d say you’re about 716,871 pounds too high on that figure. I also think you’re seriously over-estimating your lifespan here.”
“As I said,” I said, “I eat a lot of honey.”
“Yes, but…” he started to say.
“So, I’ll bee back beefore 5:00 today with a truck and some friends,” I said.
The guy looked a little shocked, but he eventually shrugged and said, “Whatever. It isn’t coming out of MY paycheque, after all. 716,873 pounds it is.” Then he told me to “sign here”, so I did that.
“Enjoy your honey,” the guy said. “While you can.”
I plan to do that, too.
To make a long story short, I called a local Honey Transport Service - “Six Bees and Three Trucks”, and we spent the rest of the day yesterday transporting honey. A lot of it. It took several trips.
Also, I have put all that honey in a very safe place, just in case you’re wondering about that.
Everything turned out just fine. I never hafta worry about honey again and I get to spend the rest of today just doing some Recreational Screen Bouncing.
So I’m gonna go do that.
I hope everybody has a mystifyingly pleasant day!
I’ll see ya’ later!
It's Monday! And it's a big day for Georgie . . .
01/06/15 10:40
Gooooooood Morning, everybody!
Well,I have a feeling this is gonna bee one of the BEST days of all time. Not only is it super-nice outside, but it's finally Monday again! Even better, today is the day that I can beegin collecting my life-time's supply of honey! I've got my Authorised Winner I.D. Photo I.D. card, I've got that huge check, proving that I won that contest, and my Certified Proof of Existence (as required in the Contest Winner's Rules), so in just a little while, I'm gonna go to the Prize Dispersal Office and pick up my first batch of honey. I'm very excited.
Ya' know, I was just thinking how sorry I feel for all the other bees who have to get their honey the old-fashioned way (ya' know: make it themselves). I'm so glad that, for the rest of my life, I never hafta cook again.
By the way, after I got that amazingly uncomfortable "I'm Thinking of You Hug" from Trip Snyder yesterday (who is still on vacation somewhere but I dunno where), I asked my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, if he and Bert could possibly figure out a way to remove that Maximum Ultra-Range Enhanced Thoracic Antagonizer that Trip insisted that I wear whenever he's not around. I really don't like that thing. They were able to take a close look at it after Trip finally stopped hugging me. After Kevin finished messing around with it, he said, "Well, Uncle Georgie, do you want the good news or the bad news first?"
"I suppose the bad news," I said.
"Okay then. The bad news is that there doesn't seem to bee any way to remove this thing, so I'm afraid you're stuck with it, at least until Trip gets back from his vacation."
Of course, I was deeply disappointed to hear that, but after I stopped sobbing, I asked, "So, what's the good news?"
"The good news, uncle, is that this thing is solar-powered. That means you'll never need to replace the batteries or even worry about having to recharge it. It's a very clever design - an UnRemovable, Continually-Powered Device that's lightweight, durable and waterproof. I must say. I don't know how he did it."
"THAT's the good news, that it will never stop working?" I asked.
"Exactly, uncle. It's a very impressive invention. Neither Bert or I can figure out how it works, but at least you'll never hafta worry about spending all your honey on batteries."
Oh geeeeeeeze. I was so looking forward to Trip, my Mandatory Publicist, not beeing around, but at this point, I wish he'd either come back from his getaway and take this thing off of me - or forget about me completely and never come back. Unfortunately, we just found out that he's had all his mail forwarded to my address, so it seems as if I'm stuck with Trip - and this Device of his - until I can figure out another way to get rid of him. But, as he told me just beefore he left, "Don't worry, Bee, I'll bee back. I'm not one to abandon my Clients."
Whatever.
Anyway. The Prize Dispersal Office opens in less than an hour, so I'd better bee on my way.
I hope everybody has tremendously festive day! I'll see ya' later!
Well,I have a feeling this is gonna bee one of the BEST days of all time. Not only is it super-nice outside, but it's finally Monday again! Even better, today is the day that I can beegin collecting my life-time's supply of honey! I've got my Authorised Winner I.D. Photo I.D. card, I've got that huge check, proving that I won that contest, and my Certified Proof of Existence (as required in the Contest Winner's Rules), so in just a little while, I'm gonna go to the Prize Dispersal Office and pick up my first batch of honey. I'm very excited.
Ya' know, I was just thinking how sorry I feel for all the other bees who have to get their honey the old-fashioned way (ya' know: make it themselves). I'm so glad that, for the rest of my life, I never hafta cook again.
By the way, after I got that amazingly uncomfortable "I'm Thinking of You Hug" from Trip Snyder yesterday (who is still on vacation somewhere but I dunno where), I asked my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, if he and Bert could possibly figure out a way to remove that Maximum Ultra-Range Enhanced Thoracic Antagonizer that Trip insisted that I wear whenever he's not around. I really don't like that thing. They were able to take a close look at it after Trip finally stopped hugging me. After Kevin finished messing around with it, he said, "Well, Uncle Georgie, do you want the good news or the bad news first?"
"I suppose the bad news," I said.
"Okay then. The bad news is that there doesn't seem to bee any way to remove this thing, so I'm afraid you're stuck with it, at least until Trip gets back from his vacation."
Of course, I was deeply disappointed to hear that, but after I stopped sobbing, I asked, "So, what's the good news?"
"The good news, uncle, is that this thing is solar-powered. That means you'll never need to replace the batteries or even worry about having to recharge it. It's a very clever design - an UnRemovable, Continually-Powered Device that's lightweight, durable and waterproof. I must say. I don't know how he did it."
"THAT's the good news, that it will never stop working?" I asked.
"Exactly, uncle. It's a very impressive invention. Neither Bert or I can figure out how it works, but at least you'll never hafta worry about spending all your honey on batteries."
Oh geeeeeeeze. I was so looking forward to Trip, my Mandatory Publicist, not beeing around, but at this point, I wish he'd either come back from his getaway and take this thing off of me - or forget about me completely and never come back. Unfortunately, we just found out that he's had all his mail forwarded to my address, so it seems as if I'm stuck with Trip - and this Device of his - until I can figure out another way to get rid of him. But, as he told me just beefore he left, "Don't worry, Bee, I'll bee back. I'm not one to abandon my Clients."
Whatever.
Anyway. The Prize Dispersal Office opens in less than an hour, so I'd better bee on my way.
I hope everybody has tremendously festive day! I'll see ya' later!
Ouch!
31/05/15 18:52
Trip Snyder just sent me a hug. I guess he misses me. Geeeeze. I'm gonna go see if Bert or somebody can help me get this thing off. Or at least make it looser. I'll letcha know how it goes tomorrow. G'night!
