Bert and his Publicist, Trip Snyder, are at it again...

THAT DOES IT! Bert and his Publicist, Trip Snyder, have gone TOO FAR this time. Geeeeeeeze.

DearGeorgie_CANFIELD-5.8.2015

When Great Grandma Gee Gee saw this in this morning's Bee Times Gazette Journal Record - and Online News, she said, "I'm calling in my team of lawyers." Then she gave me a cookie and told me not to worry.

So I ate that. (I do feel alittle better. Gee Gee's cookies ARE amazing.)

Anyway, it appears that, for the next week, I'm gonna bee involved in some fairly complicated contract negotiations, legal proceedings and assorted Power Lunches, so ... I'm taking the next six days off. (That means that I won't bee making any Daily Diary entries until next Friday...but I'll check it, just in case any of my friends here are celebrating a birthday. Wouldn't wanna miss that!)

I fully anticipate that, by this time next week, I'll return again with MY "Dear Georgie" Advice Column ... until then, I hope everybody has an amazingly festive day, weekend and so on... I'll see everybody next Friday!

Can anybody else beelieve this is actually happening?

Oh geeeeeeeeeze. I think I've seen it all now. This whole thing with Bert and his Publicist, the always-annoying Trip Snyder, has gotten WAY out of control.

BeeTimesCanfieldIssue.5.7.2015

Great Grandma Gee Gee saw this this morning, just shook her head and said, "Goodness me, Bert certainly is full of himself, isn't it? I'm not sure his spending so much time with his little friend, Trip, is such a good thing."

I had to agree. So did Kevin, who isn't at all pleased that neither he OR Cutie were ever mentioned in the article as the inventors and builders of this iBee - not even in the special, pull-out section. I think just about everybody would bee mad about something like that, don't you?

I think Trip is supposed to bee gone fro awhile this afternoon - something about a licensing deal for the "now-famous Canfield" - so, while he's not here, Gee Gee, Kevin and I are gonna sit down with Bert and try to get him to snap out of this.

Kevin said, "Why don't we just switch him off?" I told him that I thought it was only fair to talk to him first and see if we can convince him to exercise a lot more humility around here. We're all hoping he'll listen to reason on this.
He is supposed to bee logical, after all, right?

Anyway.

I hope everybody has a gloriously pleasant day! I'll see ya' later!

Trip Snyder seems to bee quite the Publicist, doesn't he?

Geeeeeze. I think I've just about heard everything now. Do you know what Bert told me after he and his Publicist, Trip, came back from their meeting with my Editor yesterday? No? Well let me tell you:

First, the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record (and Online News) is gonna dedicate at least one, entire issue to Bert. Excuse me...Canfield. Every page in the paper will bee about Canfield. Canfield's childhood (which he never had, by the way), Canfield's favourite foods (and he also doesn't eat), Canfield's professional accomplishments (we already know about that) and a special, pull-out section about Canfield's World View, where he's supposedly gonna offer the logical solutions to each and every problem beeing faced in the world today.

Honestly now. This is ridiculous. I had simply asked Bert, er...Canfield, if he might help me that day to sort through all the cards and letters beeing sent in to bee answered in my "Dear Georgie" column. It was just a clerical job, that's all, but now, after seeing his name mentioned in my Advice Column last week, this robot thinks he's All That.

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but I'll betcha that this kind of stuff never happens in the Human world, does it? You know: a shrewd Publicist decides to take somebody who has done NOTHING at all and turns them into a celebrity. Right? I didn't think so.

Also, I couldn't help but notice that, when Bert and Trip Snyder, his Publicist, got back from their meeting yesterday, they were both carrying really large stacks of paper.
"What's all that?" I asked them.
"This," Trip said, "Is our List of Demands, which our Editor - nice fellow, by the way - was more than happy to meet."
"List of Demands?" I asked.
"That's right," Trip said in a kinda annoying tone of voice.
"What's included on that list?" I asked.
"For now, that's highly confidential," Trip said, "but don't worry. You'll find out soon enough."

Oh geeeeeze.

In the meantime, I've been asked to leave the boot box today and "find something useful to do", so that Bert... er, Canfield and Trip can have the whole place to themselves for the Extensive Photo Shoot they've got scheduled with Flash, our Hive Photographer.
"And please take Kevin and Gee Gee with you," I was told.

So I'm gonna do that.

Well, I hope everybody has a tremendously superior day!
I'll see ya' later!

And so, Phase One of Bert's Publicity Campaign is in the works...

Well, today has been a real drag so far.

All morning, I’ve been having to deal with Bert, the Artificially-Intelligent, Robotic iBee, and his very irritating Publicist, Trip Snyder, who (I must say) is extremely rude and seems to give me a difficult time whenever possible, which is always.

Those two started nagging on me as soon as I was starting to enjoy my first, delicious acorn cap full of morning nectar. It seems that after visiting with his client, Trip has come up with a “Canfield Publicity Campaign: Phase One”, in which they plan to present a list of demands to the Editor of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record (and Online News), which will supposedly make Bert super-famous.

“ ‘Canfield, The World’s First Artificially Intelligent Robotic iBee’,” Trip told me, “is about to beecome a hivehold name. Bees from all over the world itself will bee booking guest appearances, seeking his endorsements for products and chasing after his autograph.”

Geeeeeeeze.

As they explained it to me, they will bee meeting with my Editor later today to beegin implementing the Trip-Canfield “Joint Venture” (as they call it). I asked if I should come along, since this all involves my “Dear Georgie” Advice Column, but they said, “You’re not invited.”

I hafta say: this makes me a lot more than just a little bit nervous.

Anyway, Trip just came up to me and started shaking me really hard, which he says is his way of beeing friendly, and told me that I should “just relax and leave everything to him.”

As if I have a choice.

I suppose it’s a good thing that it’s a wet, rainy, murky, chilly, soggy day out today, beecause then I don’t hafta feel guilty about staying inside all day and watching my Stories on TV to help me keep my mind off all of this nonsense with Bert..er..Canfield and Trip.

I hope everybody has an astoundingly festive day!
I’ll see ya’ later!

I don't think I'm gonna like having this Trip Snyder guy around...

So, do you know WHY we call it "Monday"? Neither do I, but it's still the best day of the week . . . and here it is again!

I'll bet that just about everybody thought that Bert, our resident iBee, would have been super-happy with the first "Dear Georgie" column of the new Warm Season, right? I mean, his name was mentioned, his picture was there - who could ask for more? It appears that Bert could ask for more.

Geeeeeze.

After the paper came out last Friday, Bert came storming into the room, clutching a copy in a very un-gentle way, and said, "This."
"Yes?" I said. "Looks good, doesn't it?"
"This," he repeated, "simply will not do."
"You didn't like my advice? You thought I should have told them to go ahead and pick the flowers?"
"No. THIS...this...this INSULT to ME."

Once again, I just hafta say that I'm still confused about why Bert even has feelings. He's a robot. They're not supposed to have opinions. (I think I need to visit with my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, about adjusting his programming.)

Anyway. Bert stood there and kept yelling in that tinny voice of his about how his picture wasn't big enough, that we didn't use his REAL name (Canfield) and how he demanded more credit for his contributions to the column.
"Toward that end," he finally told me, "I have hired a Publicist."
"A Publicist?" I asked. "You mean, one of those guys who makes a living out of making somebody look better than they are?"
"We can do without your snide remarks," Bert said. "I have hired one of the best Publicists in the buzziness. He will bee arriving shortly, so I suggest you seriously start thinking about beeing more cooperative and respectful. It is Friday, May 1st, 2015. The local time is precisely 11:30 a.m. The current outdoor temperature is a balmy 295.0389 degrees Kelvin," then he walked away.

It wasn't long beefore I heard a knock on our boot box door and, just as Bert had predicted, there stood his Publicist. He reached out and grabbed by wing, squeezed it super-hard and started shaking it and shaking it and shaking it, really hard and really fast. That hurt. A lot.

"Allow me to introduce myself," he said. "I am the World Famous Trip Snyder, Publicist Extraordinaire, and I am here at the beequest of one of the most demographically appealing robots whom it will bee my pleasure and honour to represent in the days, weeks, months and years to come. Are you he?"
"No, I said. "I'm Georgie. You're looking for Bert."

Trip opened up a small portfolio thingy he was carrying with the free wing he wasn't using to keep shaking my wing, and flipped through some pages.
Then he said, "No. My client's name is Canfield. My deepest apologies, I must bee in the wrong place."

"No, you've come to the right place," I heard Bert's increasingly irritating empty-can-sounding voice say. "I am Canfield. Thank you for coming and please do come in. It is Friday, May 1st, 2015. The local time is precisely 11:45 a.m. The current outdoor temperature is a balmy 295.4833 degrees Kelvin."

"I can see that I've come to the right place. It's an honour to meet you, Canfield."
(Trip finally let go of my wing, but I swear it's STILL vibrating after all that wing-shaking that went on there.)

Quite frankly, I really didn't want to have anything to do with this whole thing, so I excused myself and said, "I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about, so I'll just leave you to it. Nice to meet you, Trip. Probably."
"Likewise," he said.
Then I just started walking away.

But get this: I SWEAR that Trip fellow stuck out his foot and tried to trip me as I was walking away. Geeeeeeeze. How rude is that?

TripSnyder'sArrival

I always try to think the best of others, but I'm not really sure if this Trip Snyder guy and I are gonna get along very well. He seems like a real jerk.

Anyway. For the rest of the weekend and up to this very minute, Bert and Trip have been inseparable. I don't know what they've been talking about, but I keep hearing my name mentioned - not in a nice way, either. I don't know what that's all about, but I guess we'll find out soon enough.

Well, it's another almost-Warmish-but-chilly-grey-might-rain-or-not kind of day, so I think I'm gonna go check the mail and see if any more royalty payments have come in. (I hope so. Beesides beeing a jerk, that Trip guy has almost eaten all of my honey. When I mentioned it to Bert, he said, "Correct. That is part of the contract.") Whatever.

I hope everybody has a marvellously enlightening day! I'll see ya' later!