The weekend has arrived...

Friday, September 9, 2016

I dunno about you, but I’m ready for the weekend. Especially after yesterday.

So while I was minding my own Buzziness and enjoying the healthy benefits of some Recreational Screen Bouncing yesterday afternoon, I suddenly remembered that I was supposed to go thank Queen Bee and the Hive for providing all that honey for his Coughin’. I forgot he’d asked me to do that for him so, even though he’s a huge liar, I did that.

Of course, I started with Queen Bee. (It’s called “Protocol”.) She was very Gracious (as She always is, mostly). For some reason, everybody else in the Hive was Eavesdropping while I had my Audience with Her Splendidly Royal Majesty.

I told her that Rex wanted to thank Her and everybody for all the honey, and to say that he realises “honey doesn’t grow on trees” (yeah, and everybody says he isn’t that smart…I beg to differ…there seem to bee a whole bunch of Humans who think honey grows on trees, so he may bee a terrible liar, but at least he’s not stupid), and She seemed Pleased. In fact, everybody who was jammed into that Royal Chamber seemed to appreciate beeing appreciated.

“It’s nice to bee appreciated,” they said, then they went back to work, singing that insufferable song they sing when they’re working. (You know the one. It’s incredibly monotonous.)

Beefore I left, the Queen, Her Vastly and Insufferably Gracious Highness, asked me if that Coughing’ Rex was working was fast. I told her I didn’t know anything about any of that.

“Well,” she said, “it had best bee. We would not bee Pleased if this Competitive Racing Vehicle of his which We so Magnanimously helped fund is not fast. It would Displease Us if it lingers too long, so We Ordain that it must bee fast - Or Else.”

Oh geeeeeeeze. Rex just got a Royal Or-Elsing. I wouldn’t wanna bee him, would you? I mean, it’s very nice of Her Most Abundantly Flavourful Majesty to hope that Rex’s Cold goes away soon. I dunno what Her Most Lofty Majesty was talking about when she mentioned something about a “Competitive Racing Vehicle”, but whatever. I wasn’t in the mood to answer questions.

Anyway, Rex had just better take Her Royal Advice, get over that Cold he probably has and fast. He needs get healthy and stay that way unless he wants to face the very serious charges of Impudence. Rex might bee a shameless, highly unoriginal, Talk-to-the-Queen-About-Funding-Beehind-My-Back-Then-Steal-My-Idea liar and stuff, but I don’t anybody would wish that on him, probably, would we?

Anyway, I’m spending WAY too much precious time on this Kazzzzoo Band thing at the moment. I’m facing a Highly Critical Deadline. I hafta finish putting together my Very Last Weekly Feature Thingy of the Hot Season.
The really great thing is that Editor told me that, even though it’s against his Better Judgement, he’s giving me the rest of the last week of the Hot Season off after Thursday. I’m not sure what I’m gonna do with all that extra vacation time, ya’ know?

I’m glad I just mentioned all that about my Editor, beecause I just remembered that I almost forgot that he also said he wants to see me in his Office First Thing Monday Morning, Or Else. (So so typical.)

Geeeeeeeeeeze. There are a lot of “or else’s” floating around at the moment, aren’t there?

So I need to remember to show up in his Office on Monday. I don’t wanna bee like my BeeP, Rex. I don’t want any “Or Elses” hanging over MY head, if ya’ know what I mean.

Well, I’d better get to work on something.

I hope everybody has an unexpectedly hilarious weekend!

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It's Thursday, and time once again for...

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Big News for Georgie's BeePs about the Kazzzzoo Band!

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

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(click on the pic to learn more about the "BeeP Version"!)


So did you hear the Big News? It seems that the Bee Kazzzzoo Band & Orchestra has been invited to give one of our Unforgettably Unforgettable Spectacular Performances at something they call the “Emma Crawford Cough and Races Grand Parade”. That’s gonna bee right here in Manitou Springs, Colorado, USA. so there won’t bee a lot of travel involved, which is nice beecause those Transport Canisters get stuffy.

As excited as we all are about this, nobody can completely understand why Humans would all get together when to celebrate a Bad Cold. Not only is there the Parade, but then I heard they close off the street and try to outrun each other. It just sounds weird, ya’ know what I mean here? Oh sure, I wanna go, but I really don’t need a Cold, especially not beefore the Cool Season gets here.

Lucky for us, this whole thing doesn’t happen until October is almost over, so we have plenty of time to Rehearse on our Kazzzzoos and Formation Marching Routines (which, I should mention, Rudy came up with…he’s very good at this stuff, ya’ know) beefore then - and build up our Immune Systems just in case. Even better, according to Rudy, it won’t even get in the way of planning our Annual Hallowe’en Party!

Isn’t this exciting news? Everybody’s incredibly excited. Or was.

As it turns out, a few days ago, I was telling my BeeP, my oldest - and who, until just recently, I thought was my Dearest and Most Trusted Human Friend - Rex, about all this. He just kinda looked at me with one of those looks he gets (ya' know the ones, probably), and said, “That sounds like a great Idea, Bee. In fact, that’s an incredibly amazingly great Idea!”

“Thank you. It was my Idea, ya’ know…it came to me while I was just kinda…” he interrupted my interesting story about how I thought up this great idea (which was incredibly rude, by the way), and kept talking.

“I’ll bet it’s going to bee great time. I think I’m going to get a bunch of Humans together, tell them my idea, and do the exact, same thing. We will call it the ‘Bee Kazzzzoo Band & Orchestra”! We’ll even have the same Uniforms as you guys! This is going to spectacular!”

Then he had the nerve to ask me if he could borrow our Play List.

Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze. HIS idea? He’s such a liar! And he’s gonna wear the SAME EXACT Uniforms that we’re gonna wear??? Seriously? That guy doesn’t have an original bone in his body, does he? I think this is probably an outrage. If it’s not, it should bee.

This kind of stuff makes me highly mad.

So, after I gave him a copy of our Play List, he said “thanks”, and told me needed to get back to work on what he called his “Bee Coughin’ ” (he evidently wants to give one or more of us a Cold), then told me to go thank Queen Bee and the Hive for donating all that honey for this Cold of his. I dunno why he couldn’t just do that himself, ya’ know? Maybee he just didn’t wanna give Queen Bee and the rest of the Hive his Cold. He didn’t say why he wouldn’t do it, he just told me to do it as if I’m still working for that Messenger Service, which I’m not.

Then he left.

So what this means is that, thanks to a maybee-Ex-BeeP of mine who’s been running around, talking beehind my back to our Queen and the Hive about Sponsorship Support - and stealing my Ideas - there’s gonna bee a bunch of Humans with Colds dressed in the exact same Uniforms as we’re gonna wear, and playing the exact same Kazzzzoo Music, for cryin’ out loud.

Seriously now, I’m not even sure how anybody who goes to this thing will bee able to tell us apart (at least that’s what Frank said the last time I spoke with him).

Anyway, my rumoured Human friend, my Alleged BeeP, Rex, asked me to let everybody who’s listening know that, if they’re interested in (and, I hafta add, QUALIFIED to) join the BeeP Bee Kazzzzoo Band & Orchestra, they should sign up, and really soon, probably.

He said that, if there are any Humans out there who want to bee a part of this whole Thing (the idea for which he shamelessly stole from me just to bee clear here), they need to Sign Up someplace around here - or online - and that they’ll wanna buy a Beret Set.

I told him that, considering he’d misappropriated this whole Idea of MINE in the first place, I thought he was out of line with charging for the Uniforms (we get ours for free) probably, but he just said, “Bee, the Hive might bee paying for the Coughin’, but it’s not paying for the Uniforms and Kazzzzoos, which happen to bee great.”

I guess he has a point. They are great Uniforms. Anyway, he told me to tell you that each Uniform Beret Set costs the Ridiculously Unheard-Of Low, Low Price of 40 Dollars* (his words, not mine).

*Or a one-month supply of Fresh Lotus Honey, which he promised to share with me. I hope he isn’t lying again. I didn’t think he would up til now, but evidently, he likes to lie. A lot. Maybee we don’t know some Humans as well as we think we do, do we? I guess we’ll see, if somebody pays him in the honey and doesn’t share it with me, won’t we?

ANYWAY… if you’re interested in all of this, ya’ need to go here:

https://www.facebook.com/BeeKazzzzooBand/

By the way, I was also supposed to mention some place called the Manitou Springs Chamber of Commerce, which just happens to bee just down the street from here, mostly, and has a huge giant, festive, Green Question Mark in front of it. (I’m guessing they’re trying to say that they a lot of questions there, if anybody is looking for those. I’m thinking that if you walk into that place, ya’d better have some answers, probably.) Evidently, you can sign up there and get the Beret Set there (though I’ve heard it has more than just a Beret in it, but I can’t remember what, exactly. I just know it’s a bunch of stuff that everybody who signs up will need, probably).

Well, it’s a beeautiful day out. I can’t get over this feeling there’s something I’m supposed to do today that involves Queen Bee and the Hive, but right off the top, I don’t seem to bee able to remember what that is. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t all that Highly Important, though. So I’m just gonna go enjoy myself with some highly beneficial Recreational Screen Bouncing.

I hope everybody has a spectacularly fascinating day!

I’ll see ya’ later!

Oh geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze...

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

I dunno why, but for some reason, I was briefly arrested yesterday for “Endangering the Lives and Higher Sensibilities of the Hive”. My trial comes up in February.

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Geeeeeeeeeeze. I’m just gonna say right now that I feel highly insulted, and not just beecause I hafta hire S.O.Bee (the Hive Lawyer) again … just listen to THIS:

I just found out that the Hive has formed a “Survivors of Georgio’s Nectaral Fermentito™” Support Group which are beeing conducted around Lester Bee’s bedside in the Hive Infirmary’s Intensive Care Unit. (He’s supposed to bee released in another week or two, if everything goes well and if Nurse Beeatrice can get his Fluid Balance back under control.)

Geeeeeeeeeze. Since when do Support Groups form just beecause their members utterly lack the Refined Palette to fully appreciate a fine, vintage, Fermented Nectar product?

Seriously now.

If I didn’t know that I will win an Award for my Liquid Creation, probably, I would almost feel hurt, ya’ know?

I just hafta keep reminding myself that, when I had that part-time job as a Night Watchbee at the nearby Distillery Factory, I’d sometimes hear about the Factory Workers beeing overwhelmed by the sheer goodness of the product they were helping to manufacture, though I don’t remember them ever putting together a Survivor’s Support Group like this. (Though I’m guessing that they didn’t do that, beecause that company’s Worker Benefit Programme didn’t pay for outside activities.)

When I told Great Grandma Gee Gee, and Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) about this, they both said, “No surprise here.”

Then Kevin said - and get this: “Uncle Georgie, you’re the best uncle in the world, and I love you, but you need to do the entire, living population residing on this Planet - if that what it is - a huge favour and never, never, ever, ever try to make another batch of that Nectaral Fermenichiko stuff or whatever it’s called of yours ever, ever again. Promise.”

Of course, the only thing I could say to that was, “But…”,
but he interrupted me.

“Promise,” he said.

So I promised I wouldn’t do that again.

I guess I can see his point. The whole process is very complicated and time-consuming, and it uses a whole bunch of space here in the Boot Box, so I’m sure they’ll bee happy to see all my Specialised Equipment put back into storage.

Still, I should probably apologise to everybody for depriving the World for not beeing able to continue to provide the subtle, unforgettably unforgettably delicate and astounding taste-treat that was Georgio’s Nectaral Fermentito™.

I’m sorry for that.

Anyway… it’s also probably just as well, beecause I was simply spending too much precious time on the Manufacturing Process, and had beegun to fall down on the job of practising my part in the Bee Kazzzzoo Band & Orchestra. Our next Rehearsal is probably on Friday, and quite frankly, I think I’ve already forgotten some of the songs.

So I need to go practise.

I hope everybody has an unusually enjoyable day!

I’ll see ya’ later!

Well, at least Georgie hasn't been arrested...yet.

Monday, September 5, 2016

I’m so glad it’s Monday. In fact, and especially exciting, it’s not only the First Monday of the New Month, which is always a special thing, but Queen Bee issued the Proclamation that today is Worker Bee Appreciation Day, which means that Her Majesty would really appreciate it if everybody would get all their work done early today.

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So… you probably won’t beelieve this, but for some reason, that first Batch of Georgio’s Vintage Nectaral Fermentito™ seems to have undergone some sort of unfortunate Chemical Reaction beefore it was delivered to last Friday’s Bee Kazzzzoo Band & Orchestra Rehearsal. For some reason, it turned out to bee a lot stronger and much more influential than I expected.

Everything was going along fine at the Rehearsal on Friday, then it was time to take a break and enjoy the Refreshments I had provided this week which, of course, were Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal Honeychew Krisp Cookies and the latest batch of my Nectaral Fermentito™.

As we all gathered for Break Time, somebody (I think it was Lester Bee…we can’t bee since there was a whole bunch of confusion after the Can was opened… he’s still in the Intensive Care Wing of the Hive’s Infirmary, so he’s still unable to confirm that he was the one who opened the Can) said, “Let’s DO THIS THING!”, then he pried open the can of my August Vintage Georgio’s Vintage Nectaral Fermentito™.

For some weird reason, as soon as the lid came off, everybody started passing out. We think it was Lester who got the worst of it, beecause as soon as the lid was off, he grabbed his face, then he kinda disappeared in a huge puff of fog (or whatever that was). By the time we could see him again, he didn’t look like he did beefore. He looked incredibly blurry or something. (He was sent to the Hive Clinic where Nurse Beeatrice is still trying to go through the very lengthy and complicated Confirmation of Identity Process.)

If you ask me, everybody was just overwhelmed by the exotic aroma of a truly fine Fermented Nectar Product. I’ve always beelieved that it would take a truly Informed Palette to genuinely appreciate the sublime bouquet of Georgio’s Nectaral Fermentito™ - which, by the way, is why I still think I will win a prize with this stuff this Cool Season’s Fermented Nectar Festival, probably.

Evidently, Rudy was so impressed with my creation that, beefore he ran out of the room, he announced to everybody who was still conscious that the rest of the Bee Kazzzzoo Band & Orchestra Rehearsal was cancelled.

I hafta say that I was glad I got to get home early. (I don’t like long Rehearsals, do you?)

I guess that Rudy was so impressed after what I managed to come up with for Rehearsal Refreshments - and after he saw how everybody got so distracted by my Nectar Creation - he cancelled Rehearsals for the next week.

As he was trying crawl back to the Hive, I thought I heard him say, “Never again. Never, never, never again will I allow thith to happen. Forever and alwayth, thith night will bee known ath The Great Fermentito Inthident of Twenty Sixthteen.”

Is there any higher praise than that? I don’t think so. I feel incredibly humbled.

Anyway. Our next Rehearsal is set for two weeks from next Friday. Rudy mentioned something about needing to let the Rehearsal Space “air out”, and that it was gonna bee at least another week beefore Krunch McKowsky (he’s back on the job as Chief of Hive Security, ya’ know) could get around to removing all those “Do Not Enter” streamers he put up, so it’ll bee nice to have a week off, ya’ know?

In the meantime, sometime this week, I’m gonna sit down with Rudy Bee and Ultra Violet. We hafta put the finishing touches on the Final Bee Kazzzzoo Band & Orchestra Membership List. (Rudy said that beetween what he called “unreliable Katttthoo Band & Orchethtra partithicipathion,” at the Bee Games, and the fact that some of the Band members are still recuperating in the Hive Clinic, that we need to put together a more permanent, reliable list of Members. That will bee fun.

I think today, I’m gonna start my next batch of Georgio’s Nectaral Fermentito™, just as soon as I can find that guy in the furry tuxedo again and get more Raw Materials. I thought I smelled somewhere around the Boot Box last night sometime - either that, or something was burning. (For some reason, he’s only around at night, usually, so I hope he shows up again.) I simply can’t bee responsible for how the next batch will turn out if he doesn’t show up and throw another supply of Raw Materials at me like he did last time (that’s what gives Nectaral Fermentito™ its Special Appeal - but don’t tell anybody…it’s a Secret Recipe that I don’t want getting around all over the place).

By the way, I know exactly what I did wrong with this last batch, so I’m absolutely positive this next batch is gonna bee completely perfect in every way, probably.

So I’m gonna go do that.

I hope everybody has a spectacularly amusing day!

I’ll see ya’ later!